12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. - Romance - Nairaland
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| 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:08pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
If you are entering a relationship for the wrong reason, the you're most likely entering with the wrong person. If you're marrying for the wrong reason, then you're most likely marrying the wrong person. Below are 12 wrong reasons why people get married, and why you need to avoid making such mistakes. Marriage is a long journey, so you must get your reasons and priorities right. I'm gonna do this in parts because it will make a diffucult read if jumbled together. Oya relax and have fun while learning. 1) Fear of Getting Old. You must understand that life is a personal race. The race of life is not against others, but against your divine purpose; to make sure you fulfill it. Instead of worrying about your age, be more concerned about making your mark in your career. Refuse to be afraid of the time that is going. It is not how fast but how far. 3 Likes |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:09pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
2). Because your mates are getting married. This might look like the first one above, but it is not. There are even under 21s who are so feisty about marriage. They live marriage, eat marriage, talk marriage, walk marriage, and go to bed thinking about marriage. They start a discussion with marriage and end it with marriage. They save pictures of fantastic traditional marriages and superlative white weddings downloaded from weddingalleria. They compete to be part of bridal trains of even distant friends. But guess what? They will grow discontented after a while and start trying all means to hold down a man of their own. They say yes to the next guy that pops up the big question without as much as getting to know him well. Why? Because all her friends are getting married. Very wrong reason! 3 Likes |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by vjsmiles: 8:10pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
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| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:11pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
3). Because of covetousness/to escape from poverty. Ridiculous as it sounds, isn't it? But it happens. Some girls are plain gold diggers. Some of them are just looking for a guy with hefty wallet who will deliver her family and generation from the scourge of poverty that has become the lot of many African homes. It is thus not a huge surprise to see tall, pretty, intelligent ladies who stay in an abusive relationship, collecting all the slaps and heavy beatings for any slight provocation, just because the guy has a hefty bank account. These girls will endure it all just to get the ring, and cruise in the guy's latest Toyota Highlander, amongst his other fleet of cars. What most of these girls do is that they understimate the long journey called marriage. For how long will you endure such heartless pounding, with make up sex and new expensive toy, after which the cycle continues. This is not love. This marriage will never inspire your children. There are also gold diggers among guys. There are guys who do not mind marrying women five years their elders, or even marrying their boss at work, all because the lady is doing well for herself financially. This is not love. Marriage is not what will make you rich. God will make you rich if you apply yourself and work hard. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:11pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
4). Because of prophecies and Spiritual revelations. Don't marry a guy because he said God told him you are his wife. That is a wrong way to propose to a lady. Let God talk to you too if He really spoke to the guy. You need a conviction of your own to enter into marriage. Marriage is a long journey, and his conviction alone is not enough to keep you together when the storms start gathering. And surely, the storms will gather. Shun every prophecy and revelation if you are not convinced, even if they are from your pastor/parish priest. 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:12pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
5). Because of parental pressure. You will understand this better as a guy if you are the only son. Your mum especially will be on your neck because she wants to carry her grandchild in her hands. Never bow to pressure my man. As for ladies, never bow to parental pressure because they favour a particular guy whose parents are their friends. By the time you run home one weekend with swollen face and cracked lips, those same parents of yours will send you back without asking what happened, telling you to go and adapt to your husband. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:14pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
6). Because you want to have sex.  Funny, isn't it? Some people have been brought up in deeply religious homes where they have strict parents who taught them that sex should only be done inside marriage. But however, these deeply religious, church brothers and sisters will surely hear whisperings of the fantasy of sex. What do they do? In order not to disappoint their parents, their mentors, and their church, they force themselves into marriage, with the thought of finally getting to have earthquaking, bed shattering, sheet tearing, high octane, wrestlemania fantasy sex with their patner. Someone should please warn them that they will soon have their fill of sex. Then, what next? 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:15pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
7). Because he was the one that disvirgined you. I understand that there is this strong emotional bond and affection a girl usually has for the guy who disvirgined her. That is true. A guy that opens the gates of a woman has bought into her heart in ways no human can ever attempt to begin to describe. Because of this, ladies should be careful. Dont let this affection force you into becoming witty to trap him into marrying you. The emotional abuse that will follow inside marriage may be more than you bargained for. The guy may not mind how you feel, and you will interprete it that he doesn't care. Of course he does, but the affection you have for him can never be fully reciprocated. What happened that fateful night as he gently opened you up to the world of sex means nothing to him as much as it means to you. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by Nobody: 8:16pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
Your list is spot on. But please try to arrange everything in one post. 3 Likes |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by SlimBrawnie(f): 8:17pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
If he is not a woman beater.... don't know if that is a wrong reason,cos the cane I collect from my papa is enough for a lifetime. Nice one @OP would really help alot of youths out there |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:23pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
8.). Because she is carrying your baby Guys wise up. Some girls will want the ring by hook or by crook. If you are not convinced of her wifely qualities, dont compensate her with marriage. I do not advocate that guys become rascals, sowing their royal seeds about. That's irresponsiblity. But mustakes happen. If you find yourself in a mistake, do not marry her if you do not love her enough. Arrange to take care of her financially till she puts to bed, then with the help of your parents and her parents, decide what to do with the baby. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:24pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
9). Because of pity. May be he paid your school fees through school because your parents are poor. Its alright if he does this, but let him know ahead of time that you're not going to marry him because he is paying your school fees. Dont marry him out of pity when you leave school. School fees is not bride price. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:26pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
10). Because of what he/she studied. Marriage is more than that. Marry someone you love, even if she studied Igbo language in the university. Some doctors want to marry a nurse because they want to build a hospital in the future. Wrong reason. Marry someone you love, and employ nurses when you want to open a hospital. So simple! Same thing goes to everyone reading this. Love first, before whatever he/she studied. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:27pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
11). Because of where he/she is from. Some people want to marry Igbo girls because they are industrious and beautiful; some people want to marry yoruba girls because they have a drive for strong family ties. Some others want to marry Hausa/fulani girls because they are exceptionally pretty and respect the man in their life to a fault. Some even want to marry Efiks and Ibibio women women because of their sharp culinary skills; Calabar girls because of their loyalty and sexual prowess; Edo girls because of their bedmatics. But all these are wrong reasons to get married. Marry beyond the benefits of a tribe or culture. Those are generalisations. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:30pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
12). Because she is pretty/Because he is handsome. I'll tell you what I mean. Never marry because of sexual attraction. Attraction is a farce. It will leave you stranded so fast. Some girl's definition of a handsome guy is by how muscular he is built. Some guys' definition of a pretty girl is by the size of her boobs and booty, and they will do anything to find a lady with such qualities. Those reasons are wonderful, but not strong enough to enter into marriage. That is why Hollywood marriages are appearing in the news for the wrong reasons. Infidelity, divorce, etc. In Hollywood, pretty women get married to handsome guys, but those marriages do not last. Why? Because there is more to marriage than finding a pretty girl or a handsome guy. I'd rather GROW in love with a girl not so pretty who is full of homemaking virtues, intelligent and peace-loving, than FALL in love with a pretty girl, heavily endowed physically but has no homemaking qualities; is divisive and quarelsome. I rest my case here. Special thanks to my mentor, Pastor Sam Adeyemi. 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by Nobody: 8:31pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
What the fvck is wrong with this Op? Why not just combine all the points into one post? |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:33pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
missclasssy:I'll try my best to be civil with you, but smell out of here before you start what you cant finish! |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by octopusfreaky(f): 8:34pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
As innn,,,this life is wonderful...God have mercy on single men and women of ds generation... |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mirexxx(f): 8:36pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
fear of getting old?? so if you're single you won't get old?? explain pls  |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by adanduka: 8:37pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
OP you're too much. Case closed. 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by Nobody: 8:37pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
Sex.....lol 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:38pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
rokiatu:I thought it will make a long boring read because it is lengthy. Thats why I split it. Thanks for your courtesy! |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by Nobody: 8:39pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
mentorandfriend: Start what?, finish what? I asked just asked you a question and you are ranting and raving at me like I took your lunch. Why didn't you just construct your original post in a way that all your points were embedded in a single composition. That way you wouldn't be the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eight and ninth to comment. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:43pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
missclasssy:Your initial comment lacked courtesy, so I had to warn you ahead of time, because I dont take trash from anyone! I think I've explained it above, to Rokiatu, why I did it this way. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:47pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
MzNelly:As in ehn! |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by prettyjo(f): 8:47pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
all these lists sef... |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 8:53pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
mirexxx:Ladies and gentlemen alike, start getting restless about settling down as their age advances; especially ladies. Once a lady reaches 35, she is more likely to be in a rush to have a man of her own than the girl in her early 20s. |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mirexxx(f): 8:57pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
mentorandfriend:oh! yeah! I thought... nice write up 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by emmyw(m): 9:09pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
Are those reasons really wrong? |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 10:24pm On Apr 15, 2015 |
emmyw:Mention one that is a right reason there  |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by Hope6289(f): 8:43am On Apr 16, 2015 |
mentorandfriend: Thank you! Some of us have been victims of this. "God said you're my wife". When you enter a r/ship not out of love or understanding, because of fear of a spiritual conviction. You now start hearing silly statements from so-called spiritual guys like, "I didn't like her, she's not my taste but God said she's my wife so I had to marry her" Abegi! You love because you're willing to not because you're 'spiritually' told to! God is not a love-vendor 1 Like |
| Re: 12 Wrong Reasons Why People Get Married. by mentorandfriend(m): 9:07am On Apr 16, 2015 |
Hope6289:Exactly! I concur. |
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