kingstylo01:
kindly highlight the factors here...


We are all learning

Well love is important. But I mean should you stay with someone you love if they are cheaters, liars etc. my answer is no. For me anyway.
A relationship should have a recipe of love, trust, honesty, compromise etc.

Can you make a delicious cake with just one ingredient...No.
Just like you can't grow a healthy relationship with just one ingredient (love).
If you want a healthy amazing relationship add in all the ingredients

kolocat:


Well love is important. But I mean should you stay with someone you love if they are cheaters, liars etc. my answer is no. For me anyway.
A relationship should have a recipe of love, trust, honesty, compromise etc.

Can you make a delicious cake with just one ingredient...No.
Just like you can't grow a healthy relationship with just one ingredient (love).
If you want a healthy amazing relationship add in all the ingredients

nice to hear.... Will be adding all the ingredients..
Buh too much ingredients spoils the meal...


*Winks*

kingstylo01:
nice to hear.... Will be adding all the ingredients..
Buh too much ingredients spoils the meal...


*Winks*

Lol true, and equal quantities abi

kolocat:


Lol true, and equal quantities abi

yea

I am in pain.....

Been dating this lady for almost 3years now... Then she caught me cheating and we had a BIG fight.... I did her wrong, she said I broke her heart into pieces...and now she has no heart.

All these happened late last year...so this year we came back slightly and she made me have sex with her and I thought she has forgiven me..

But, sometimes wen I try to be nice to her, she makes me feel unwanted....my romantic advances and playfulness are usually cut short. I'm being treated like I'm chasing her for the first time and it hurts so so bad.

Every time I want us to talk she says she's not in the mood...or she's feeling sleepy or she's busy or some flimsy excuses that drives me insane.

The only thing I thank God for is that I have never ever raised my hands in beating her and I have never manhandled any lady before its not in my nature.... But she is really pushing me and the more she does the more I tell my self u are stronger than that, keep calm.

Recently, I borrowed her Fone to make a call and I saw her chats wif some guy... Reminding d guy dat she left her pant in his room and he should keep it for her...

Good lord, I asked her and she told me they went to the beach and sand got into her pant and she took it off to get cleaned..

You know the story was very shallow and untrue....I didn't take it lightly with her but still made her feel comfortable around me despite knowing she may be seeing different guys now cos I caught her again with another married man during the Presidential elections in a chat and via phone calls...I wan go mad when d bastard tell am after election make dem hook up for evening, and she deh with me....evening reach she dress up and tell me say she deh commot, I had to stop her and we quarreled till late at night.. Still d bastard deh call say where she deh?..Omo thunder begin spark for my brain my people...

I know maybe she is trying to get back at me for cheating on her....the pain is I love her too much and I feel awful I cheated Becos of some stupid lust for one chick who shouldn't have gotten my attention in the first place.

To be honest, this girlfriend of mine is tormenting me emotionally, I have asked her, begged her to let me know why she does what she does....if she's tired of us she should let me know so I can stop wasting my energy and time...her response is nothing is wrong with us I'm d problem I'm RUDE, FULL OF PRIDE AND A PRETENDER.

She sent me all these words in a chat... So I'm planning to see her and have her tell me all these in person....to be sure she meant it, cos whenever I'm with her she finds it very hard to talk and its very unhealthy for me or us.

Like I said from the top, I need your advice y'all....cos I'm really in PAIN.

Mistaarhlohki:
I am in pain.....

Been dating this lady for almost 3years now... Then she caught me cheating and we had a BIG fight.... I did her wrong, she said I broke her heart into pieces...and now she has no heart.

All these happened late last year...so this year we came back slightly and she made me have sex with her and I thought she has forgiven me..

But, sometimes wen I try to be nice to her, she makes me feel unwanted....my romantic advances and playfulness are usually cut short. I'm being treated like I'm chasing her for the first time and it hurts so so bad.

Every time I want us to talk she says she's not in the mood...or she's feeling sleepy or she's busy or some flimsy excuses that drives me insane.

The only thing I thank God for is that I have never ever raised my hands in beating her and I have never manhandled any lady before its not in my nature.... But she is really pushing me and the more she does the more I tell my self u are stronger than that, keep calm.

Recently, I borrowed her Fone to make a call and I saw her chats wif some guy... Reminding d guy dat she left her pant in his room and he should keep it for her...

Good lord, I asked her and she told me they went to the beach and sand got into her pant and she took it off to get cleaned..

You know the story was very shallow and untrue....I didn't take it lightly with her but still made her feel comfortable around me despite knowing she may be seeing different guys now cos I caught her again with another married man during the Presidential elections in a chat and via phone calls...I wan go mad when d bastard tell am after election make dem hook up for evening, and she deh with me....evening reach she dress up and tell me say she deh commot, I had to stop her and we quarreled till late at night.. Still d bastard deh call say where she deh?..Omo thunder begin spark for my brain my people...

I know maybe she is trying to get back at me for cheating on her....the pain is I love her too much and I feel awful I cheated Becos of some stupid lust for one chick who shouldn't have gotten my attention in the first place.

To be honest, this girlfriend of mine is tormenting me emotionally, I have asked her, begged her to let me know why she does what she does....if she's tired of us she should let me know so I can stop wasting my energy and time...her response is nothing is wrong with us I'm d problem I'm RUDE, FULL OF PRIDE AND A PRETENDER.

She sent me all these words in a chat... So I'm planning to see her and have her tell me all these in person....to be sure she meant it, cos whenever I'm with her she finds it very hard to talk and its very unhealthy for me or us.

Like I said from the top, I need your advice y'all....cos I'm really in PAIN.

Ya go ask her in person first. Really try and sit down and have a heart to heart. If she's not bothered like the last times you tried talking to her then don't bother wasting your energy. What you did was wrong. But what she's doing is wrong too. She's with you but treating you bad because she hasn't forgiven you. Do you really want to stay in a relationship like that. Ya you cheated but she came back to give you a second chance. But she's not even giving you that chance with the way she's treating you. If she doesn't change after your chat then it's time to walk away. It's hard because you love her. But better for you in the long run. Best of luck with the chat

kolocat:


Ya go ask her in person first. Really try and sit down and have a heart to heart. If she's not bothered like the last times you tried talking to her then don't bother wasting your energy. What you did was wrong. But what she's doing is wrong too. She's with you but treating you bad because she hasn't forgiven you. Do you really want to stay in a relationship like that. Ya you cheated but she came back to give you a second chance. But she's not even giving you that chance with the way she's treating you. If she doesn't change after your chat then it's time to walk away. It's hard because you love her. But better for you in the long run. Best of luck with the chat

I appreciate your advice....problem is we started out as best friends so its just so hard for me to let go... I tried one time disconnected her from evey social media platform but I saw her again and I had no choice to start where we left off..

Well, like u adviced talk to her in person...and if she's still not showing interest gotta walk away..

Gracias

Mistaarhlohki:


I appreciate your advice....problem is we started out as best friends so its just so hard for me to let go... I tried one time disconnected her from evey social media platform but I saw her again and I had no choice to start where we left off..

Well, like u adviced talk to her in person...and if she's still not showing interest gotta walk away..

Gracias

Aww I know it's hard. Well I hope she realises that she can't keep treating you like that. And hope she will sit and listen when you go to her. You should tell her you thought she came back to give you a second chance but how she's treating you isn't giving you a chance and that it isn't love she's showing you.
I do hope it all works out for you

interesting read

tosyne2much:
Prof Emusmith

Uncle T

cutieberie1:
noted...

Hi

SIMPLY WHEN BOTH OF U COME OUT OF UR CHALLENGES SUCCESSFULLY WITHOUT ATTRACTING OUTSIDERS..NOTHING MORE ..NOTHING LESS

prettyjo:

.....

kingstylo01:
After booking space, i'll like to drop this:

Although i agree with your points, i'll like to say that love is the most important factor in a relationship..
If your relationship is unhealthy, love is the medicine.. It will heal everything..


Love is important because it is very difficult to find a relationship slightly unhealthy..

In as much as i agree with your last point "let it go", i'll like to state this:

if you would let every unhealthy relationship go, then on the long run you'll hardly stick to any healthy relationship because all relationship have an iota of unhealthiness, which needs love as its medicine..


#LOVE CONQUERS ALL

d persons DAT liked this post needs to rethink.cos love is not the most important thing in relationship.

emusmith:

Relationships are a necessary part of our existence. However, relationships can be healthy or unhealthy. Healthy relationships contribute to our overall well-being while an unhealthy relationship does the exact opposite. There are different things that point to whether a relationship is healthy or not. To tell if your relationship is healthy or not ask yourself these questions:

1. What does he/she bring out of me?

The quality of your relationship revolves around what you become by it. How is the relationship impacting you? Note this is not about the other person forcing you to change who you already are. In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel forced to change who you are but rather inspired to make needed changes. In other words, it does not try to fix you but rather help you fix yourself. A true partner knows your weakness but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disability, but emphasizes your possibilities.

2. What does he/ she think of me?

What your partner thinks of you really matters. It tells or determines the value he or she places in such a relationship. And we usually give quality attention and care to whatever we value. Does he/she see you as a plus in his/her life? Relationship works when it involves mutual contribution. If your partner does not see you as a value or at least a potential value in his life, the intimacy and closeness will likely diminish with time.
Also, people tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. That’s why people in abusive relationships are usually self-critical and timid.

3.What does he/she think of my future?

Every true relationship invests in your future one way or the other. Your relationship should contribute to your dreams and aspirations. Does your partner support and consider God’s plan for you. Does he/she help it or hinder it?
This emphasizes the need for you to determine the direction of your life. If you know what you want in life and where you are going, it is easy enough to figure out who fits into the picture.

4. How does he/she behave towards me in difficult times?

The real test on the quality of your relationship comes during difficult times not when the goings are smooth. If he/she turns abusive or one way or the other makes it look like you are the cause of his/her problems, that’s a negative signal.

5. What does he/she thinks about my values and beliefs?

If you are in a relationship where you have to sacrifice your core values, beliefs and things that really matter to you, you may need to re-consider that relationship. It is true that we are to adjust and sacrifice certain things in a relationship. However, when it involves relegating things that really matter to you; you are likely to end up unhappy in such relationship. One thing peculiar with couples in healthy relationships is the fact that they have similar values, beliefs and focus.

6. How does he/she reacts when issues arise?

Disagreement occurs every in any relationship. What matters is how it is handled? If he/she holds grudges for days and drags every little issue or disagreement to the extent that a third party need to be involved before it can be resolved, it does not tell well about that relationship.

7. How much do I trust him/her?

A relationship without trust breeds insecurity, heart breaks and emotional instability. It is impossible to have a relationship if there is no trust in such relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship are quite open to each other. That’s why communication is very important in relationships. If he/she allows you to wonder or try to guess what he/she has in mind; If you constantly sense insincerity from him/her, then there’s bound to be trust issues in such relationship.


Have a lovely night rest.

Owners of NL fp have just posted straight to fp

My personal is paramount. that of the relationship is something else because there is actually no healthy relationship existing anywhere.

Mistaarhlohki:


I appreciate your advice....problem is we started out as best friends so its just so hard for me to let go... I tried one time disconnected her from evey social media platform but I saw her again and I had no choice to start where we left off..

Well, like u adviced talk to her in person...and if she's still not showing interest gotta walk away..

Gracias

I understand you 100% I feel your pain. I have been in the same situation in the past. what I will advice is to talk to her in person about all her misdoings after that if there is no change, you have to let her go. She does not love you again. The spark is no more there. no matter how hard you try I don't think it will ever work.

kingstylo01:
After booking space, i'll like to drop this:

Although i agree with your points, i'll like to say that love is the most important factor in a relationship..
If your relationship is unhealthy, love is the medicine.. It will heal everything..


Love is important because it is very difficult to find a relationship slightly unhealthy..

In as much as i agree with your last point "let it go", i'll like to state this:

if you would let every unhealthy relationship go, then on the long run you'll hardly stick to any healthy relationship because all relationship have an iota of unhealthiness, which needs love as its medicine..


#LOVE CONQUERS ALL

Love conquers all: but money and quality sexual life can make your wife to behave, submit and cooperate with you as if she is your creator in the long run. In fact, she would remain as loyal as dog

Guys, please make money
More money, I mean
Make more more and more money I say...

Hmmm.... 'My account has been credited' the only word that matters most in the hearing of every woman than 'I love you'.

God please bless me and the works of my hand too..

Na wetin she wan tink of?

Apart frm shw me d money

emusmith:

Relationships are a necessary part of our existence. However, relationships can be healthy or unhealthy. Healthy relationships contribute to our overall well-being while an unhealthy relationship does the exact opposite. There are different things that point to whether a relationship is healthy or not. To tell if your relationship is healthy or not ask yourself these questions:

1. What does he/she bring out of me?

The quality of your relationship revolves around what you become by it. How is the relationship impacting you? Note this is not about the other person forcing you to change who you already are. In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel forced to change who you are but rather inspired to make needed changes. In other words, it does not try to fix you but rather help you fix yourself. A true partner knows your weakness but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disability, but emphasizes your possibilities.

2. What does he/ she think of me?

What your partner thinks of you really matters. It tells or determines the value he or she places in such a relationship. And we usually give quality attention and care to whatever we value. Does he/she see you as a plus in his/her life? Relationship works when it involves mutual contribution. If your partner does not see you as a value or at least a potential value in his life, the intimacy and closeness will likely diminish with time.
Also, people tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. That’s why people in abusive relationships are usually self-critical and timid.

3.What does he/she think of my future?

Every true relationship invests in your future one way or the other. Your relationship should contribute to your dreams and aspirations. Does your partner support and consider God’s plan for you. Does he/she help it or hinder it?
This emphasizes the need for you to determine the direction of your life. If you know what you want in life and where you are going, it is easy enough to figure out who fits into the picture.

4. How does he/she behave towards me in difficult times?

The real test on the quality of your relationship comes during difficult times not when the goings are smooth. If he/she turns abusive or one way or the other makes it look like you are the cause of his/her problems, that’s a negative signal.

5. What does he/she thinks about my values and beliefs?

If you are in a relationship where you have to sacrifice your core values, beliefs and things that really matter to you, you may need to re-consider that relationship. It is true that we are to adjust and sacrifice certain things in a relationship. However, when it involves relegating things that really matter to you; you are likely to end up unhappy in such relationship. One thing peculiar with couples in healthy relationships is the fact that they have similar values, beliefs and focus.

6. How does he/she reacts when issues arise?

Disagreement occurs every in any relationship. What matters is how it is handled? If he/she holds grudges for days and drags every little issue or disagreement to the extent that a third party need to be involved before it can be resolved, it does not tell well about that relationship.

7. How much do I trust him/her?

A relationship without trust breeds insecurity, heart breaks and emotional instability. It is impossible to have a relationship if there is no trust in such relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship are quite open to each other. That’s why communication is very important in relationships. If he/she allows you to wonder or try to guess what he/she has in mind; If you constantly sense insincerity from him/her, then there’s bound to be trust issues in such relationship.


Have a lovely night rest.

Bross,this ur Hypothesis ar too Theoretical and western,in Africa,we run things things don't run we,The failure or success of African reletionship depends on the enviroment

4 me, jez get d cashes clear. Evry oda will fall in place

emusmith:

Relationships are a necessary part of our existence. However, relationships can be healthy or unhealthy. Healthy relationships contribute to our overall well-being while an unhealthy relationship does the exact opposite. There are different things that point to whether a relationship is healthy or not. To tell if your relationship is healthy or not ask yourself these questions:

1. What does he/she bring out of me?

The quality of your relationship revolves around what you become by it. How is the relationship impacting you? Note this is not about the other person forcing you to change who you already are. In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel forced to change who you are but rather inspired to make needed changes. In other words, it does not try to fix you but rather help you fix yourself. A true partner knows your weakness but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disability, but emphasizes your possibilities.

2. What does he/ she think of me?

What your partner thinks of you really matters. It tells or determines the value he or she places in such a relationship. And we usually give quality attention and care to whatever we value. Does he/she see you as a plus in his/her life? Relationship works when it involves mutual contribution. If your partner does not see you as a value or at least a potential value in his life, the intimacy and closeness will likely diminish with time.
Also, people tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. That’s why people in abusive relationships are usually self-critical and timid.

3.What does he/she think of my future?

Every true relationship invests in your future one way or the other. Your relationship should contribute to your dreams and aspirations. Does your partner support and consider God’s plan for you. Does he/she help it or hinder it?
This emphasizes the need for you to determine the direction of your life. If you know what you want in life and where you are going, it is easy enough to figure out who fits into the picture.

4. How does he/she behave towards me in difficult times?

The real test on the quality of your relationship comes during difficult times not when the goings are smooth. If he/she turns abusive or one way or the other makes it look like you are the cause of his/her problems, that’s a negative signal.

5. What does he/she thinks about my values and beliefs?

If you are in a relationship where you have to sacrifice your core values, beliefs and things that really matter to you, you may need to re-consider that relationship. It is true that we are to adjust and sacrifice certain things in a relationship. However, when it involves relegating things that really matter to you; you are likely to end up unhappy in such relationship. One thing peculiar with couples in healthy relationships is the fact that they have similar values, beliefs and focus.

6. How does he/she reacts when issues arise?

Disagreement occurs every in any relationship. What matters is how it is handled? If he/she holds grudges for days and drags every little issue or disagreement to the extent that a third party need to be involved before it can be resolved, it does not tell well about that relationship.

7. How much do I trust him/her?

A relationship without trust breeds insecurity, heart breaks and emotional instability. It is impossible to have a relationship if there is no trust in such relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship are quite open to each other. That’s why communication is very important in relationships. If he/she allows you to wonder or try to guess what he/she has in mind; If you constantly sense insincerity from him/her, then there’s bound to be trust issues in such relationship.


Have a lovely night rest.

The list of what one would expect is endless so for that reason,I disagree with almost everything you wrote as being tests of a healthy relationship even though I agree they are all good in themselves and expected.
The only singular test IMHO is to ask yourself
" How does he/ she make me feel"?
Not what he/she thinks or feels or does but how does it feel to me,the recipient.
No matter what the intentions of the other person is, if I am not getting it, it is worthless to me.

falconey:
wonderful.

Guys: I know this already.

Girls : he should do it first he is the man.

Any affair is a potential healthy or unhealthy one,it depends on the two pple involved.

emusmith:


That's where WISDOM beats KNOWLEDGE: Wisdom is the right application of knowledge.

What I know is inept without application.

Bros, I greet you. Are u a member of Salvation ministry.ph?

make sure she has a source of income or else you would be dealing with a parasitic female.

Festorich:

Bros, I greet you. Are u a member of Salvation ministry.ph?

Kinda, I'm a visitor...let's not derail

well said

Mistaarhlohki:
I am in pain.....

Been dating this lady for almost 3years now... Then she caught me cheating and we had a BIG fight.... I did her wrong, she said I broke her heart into pieces...and now she has no heart.

All these happened late last year...so this year we came back slightly and she made me have sex with her and I thought she has forgiven me..

But, sometimes wen I try to be nice to her, she makes me feel unwanted....my romantic advances and playfulness are usually cut short. I'm being treated like I'm chasing her for the first time and it hurts so so bad.

Every time I want us to talk she says she's not in the mood...or she's feeling sleepy or she's busy or some flimsy excuses that drives me insane.

The only thing I thank God for is that I have never ever raised my hands in beating her and I have never manhandled any lady before its not in my nature.... But she is really pushing me and the more she does the more I tell my self u are stronger than that, keep calm.

Recently, I borrowed her Fone to make a call and I saw her chats wif some guy... Reminding d guy dat she left her pant in his room and he should keep it for her...

Good lord, I asked her and she told me they went to the beach and sand got into her pant and she took it off to get cleaned..

You know the story was very shallow and untrue....I didn't take it lightly with her but still made her feel comfortable around me despite knowing she may be seeing different guys now cos I caught her again with another married man during the Presidential elections in a chat and via phone calls...I wan go mad when d bastard tell am after election make dem hook up for evening, and she deh with me....evening reach she dress up and tell me say she deh commot, I had to stop her and we quarreled till late at night.. Still d bastard deh call say where she deh?..Omo thunder begin spark for my brain my people...

I know maybe she is trying to get back at me for cheating on her....the pain is I love her too much and I feel awful I cheated Becos of some stupid lust for one chick who shouldn't have gotten my attention in the first place.

To be honest, this girlfriend of mine is tormenting me emotionally, I have asked her, begged her to let me know why she does what she does....if she's tired of us she should let me know so I can stop wasting my energy and time...her response is nothing is wrong with us I'm d problem I'm RUDE, FULL OF PRIDE AND A PRETENDER.

She sent me all these words in a chat... So I'm planning to see her and have her tell me all these in person....to be sure she meant it, cos whenever I'm with her she finds it very hard to talk and its very unhealthy for me or us.

Like I said from the top, I need your advice y'all....cos I'm really in PAIN.

While I blame you for your fornicative attitude, but you have done a great job by begging her and made her to realize that it is a mistake. But afterwards, you have started behaving like a sheep being lead to alter for sacrifice to be candid.

Move faraway from thi lady and maintain your 'new man' by refusing to mingle with any lady for just a month or more: watch her from afar off but pretend as if you are not watchful.

If she continues in her newly found behaviour, make sure you that any lady you move closer to as even an ordinary friend is better than her in the following months.

If she ask you who she is? Tell her she is your platonic friend, and watch her reaction in a week. If she didn't change, delete her from your life and stop behaving as if world begins and ends with her.

I have a lot to say but I am felling sleepy, but remember that lady likes a player if you know how to play your card: until you stop running after her, she WILL never run after you. Ladies are confused being and they like a smart guy who can compound their confusions. Cheer up guy and start making use of your sense.

'If you want to know whether you are truly a owner of a calabash, throw it on the surface of the ocean: the current of the ocean will bring it back to you if you are the real owner". A word is enough for the wise.

I was all of that to him,it was easy because I loved him and was willing to stick around for as long as it takes...And to be honest,it was perfect! Or so I thought,he was my one weakness and at the same time my strength!

We teased each other when broke..."Na your mate dey go shop without bargaining o" and lots of other crazy stuffs...I can go on and on on how amazing it was,until all of a sudden,I was in a relationship with myself!

He cheated! He knew I'll never cheat on him,yet he did and as if that was not enough,he told me to my face he loves her as much as he loves me! Wow! I cried! yes I did! And I tried to forgive him,I tried to just turn a blind eye,but how can I?

My heart was broken into a million pieces,I knew it was time to move on! It was tough,it still is...I miss everything we had,I miss laughing and telling ourselves how soon we are gonna secure our jobs,and of cause shop without bargaining at all..lolz...but I guess that was all me!

We often pray we find love,but sometimes when we do,it threats us like trash!...still healing.

No one asked me,but I needed to get all that emotion outta my head before it explodes

Love is painful,pointless and overrated BUT i'll never quit on love,NEVER!