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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives (275191 Views)
Before you Interfere In Any Marital Scuffle. / Man Seeks Divorce Because Wife Ran Mad After Extra-marital Affair / I Always See My Wife Having Extra Marital Affairs In My Dreams: Husband (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 5:06pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 5:13pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
OnyeEgo1:Thanks man. I have actually healed today and that's why I could post at length. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 5:47pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
iwatch:I think you should find time to talk with her again, so you can bare your mind. Between your last meeting and the suggested time, now and the time, hoping she would have seen this, is enough time for her to make a final decision. If she says move on still, then she is happy where she is, so you should do same. I doubt you will cope well if i say be friends with her but reserve a good friend spot in your heart for her. Perhaps she happened to you to make you the better person you are and i believe she learnt something too. But seriously, i watch, all these your feelings are because it suddenly doned on you that you are loosing a potential good, more especially as another man has taken over (men dont take likely to this) not because you have tried and trusted that she is the one for you vice versa, so move on if she says so again, it is for the best. You know, your story is a great one for both sexes to learn so as not to assume things that are not what the other is thinking or meaning. It shows again how "one way" men thinks even with all the green light. Both sexes should risk saying their minds to make things clearer sometimes. I know with our society, it is not easy especially for ladies, thats why i dont fault her. With the way you were then, i mean your warped thinking about women you prolly would not have valued her if she spilled it out and you got her easily. It is still a sad fact that many guys still term cheap and value less, girls that openly express their feelings or take the lead. On a lighter note, nl girls watch out for those girls hating nl guys, a lil loving might be just what they need. Lolz. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 5:48pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
@ onyeEgo, I serious oooo but ur post brought laughter to my face. Does it mean phlegs don't show love and communicate well. I fear una oooo. Am still giving it a trial, don't just know how to go about it any longer. Help ur sister na #winks# |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 6:01pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Iwatch I feel your pain dearly. Your story is a confirmation that assumption does not no good in any kind of rship whatsoever. My MD can skin you alive for assumption thingy. When I broke up with my ex, I tot I wud never again be fine and that the male folks re in trouble, but na lie cos funny all the best friends I ve are all guys. All I will tell you if she is bent on letting go, try and let go too. Nobody is this life is indispensable, all it would take is time. Don't be hard on yoursef dude, she might just be placed on track to teach you this specific lesson that would be very useful in your subsequent rships @ all levels of lifeĀ„ There re better ladies ou there, so take ur time, heal up, forgive ursef and set out to find your soul mate again. Remember" Not everybody that you date, is good for you for a life time" sometimes what's best for us does not come in packages we envisage. Chill bro. Its well. Better days just ahead. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 6:22pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 6:30pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:27pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
@ iwatch, You said because of your past experience, you formed this mentality that girls have nothing to offer you, that was the warped mentality i was referring to or you still think i was assuming? Believe me, she would have displayed more "yanga" at the initial stage even after accepting you (its a girl's thing) and you wouldnt have handled it well not knowing what you know now. You know, its funny what you guys discuss amongst yourself and conclude is a wife material like if she spends on you. It could be your love language though, but i know it has not cross your mind that she could have done it not to appear cheap or not to be after your money or to prove a point. Again, you cant see the possibility of the other guy giving her the financial muscle to do the gesture she or some other girl though capability but wouldnt not have been able to do without the financial capability to wow you like this (and yes, it could be her money) but one thing is sure sha, she is the giver you cherish else she could have opt declining any offer instead. From what you said about her today, it seems you and the other guy are good offers, who knows she might reconsider but hope on this at your own risk. If you can cope, communicate with her once in a while and when you meet online but desist if you cant cope for your heart and life sakes. My advice is that you take time to get over her before going into another relationship so that a new girl will not pay for the crime committed by your ex the second time (before you go defensive, but for your past experience, you would have condoned her yanga). In this time, not at all hoping, if she comes, fine and if she does not, move on. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 8:43pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Floodgater:Thanks baba... I am done here. LEMME delete the OP. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:10pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
gleatz: Stop doing too much Yes you are doing too much How can a man be 38 and unmarried sef Are you sure his sumtin works ? 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:15pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
thorpido: Give who time? So that he clocks 40 plus He has no time o I will advise her to start looking elsewhere This man sounds high risk What will she teach a 38 year old man Bikonu 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 9:19pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Floodgater: Thanks |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 9:23pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by thorpido(m): 9:32pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:My bad.I was actually thinking of her and not him.Well he's gotten to 38yrs so I don't think he needs to rush anything now. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by gleatz: 9:37pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
@BabyMama, I am confused. The church thingy is masking so much. Can't still fathom it. babyosisi: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by veave(f): 9:42pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Iwatch. I really do not understand your post and couldn't make head or tail from the story. Maybe i cant read well.... maybe... |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by thorpido(m): 9:49pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by thorpido(m): 9:51pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
gleatz:What do you mean churchy thing? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 9:53pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
veave:hmmm... please calm down and read it again. or let me me know which part that is not clear. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by veave(f): 9:56pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
iwatch: Leme jooor I wee not tell you |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 10:06pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
Iwatch,such is life You live,you learn. Let it go 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 10:08pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
gleatz: If you are giving 100% and getting 10%, why should you continue? Mbanu |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 10:10pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:Thanks ma. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by veave(f): 10:27pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
I want to confess and shame the devil... |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 10:43pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
veave:lol... i wee telz ma mummy for u |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 10:44pm On Apr 16, 2015 |
veave:I am all eyes... confess your sins now or forever remain silent 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 3:10am On Apr 17, 2015 |
I have been a silent observer on this thread and learnt a lot. Although,I have issueS bothering me.I was in a relatinship with a guy (40yrs)for 6 months with marital plans involved,he introduced me to his family and also went with me to my church for marriage counselling,but I left him in dec.cos he had xter problems,he nags a lot,very suspicious always checking my phones,and talks anyhow like( me forcing him to marry him ,he is not convinced about marriage,and other things I can't mention here),I didn't see myself enjoying marriage with him so I left. Also,there is this guy that has been a friend to me infact like a brother,even when I was courting my ex,and he knows alll about my relationship,recently we started dating ,so I asked him who am I to him and where the relationship is leading to ,he Said I'm an intimate friend,he is not yet convinced I'm his wife,he is serious about me but I shouldn't take him serious and he wants to get married but need to sort out finances first before marriage and he prays for me to be his wife cos he loves me and see qualities in me,but if God says I'm not his so be it,and if someone that is ready to marry me comes along I should pray and make my choice. So I told him I want to stop dating him since he said I Shouldn't take him serious, so we decided to be friends like we were before ,but with reduced communication and closeness.On sunday he gave me a phone as my birthday gift and I told him I don't want it,the reason I gave him was dat I don't want to use a big phone again since my samsung galaxy just got stolen in my office and If I will use a big phone it will always be in my bag.From his facial expression I could see that he was not happy.But my real reason was that I am trying to cut off from him emotionally cos I really love him and he knows it and I don't want anything around me that will be a reminder of him.cos I decided to be single physically and @ mind,I don't want a man as an Idol in my heart which may prevent me from meeting the right man for me,but I didn't tell him all these. But,why I'm bothered is that I saw him yesterday and he acted cold towards me,avoids me and when he called yesterday to wish me happy birthday it was cold and he doesn't call me like before,I'm nt feeling bad or emotional,but I just wondered If I did the right thing,I am 29 and he is 32 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 3:28am On Apr 17, 2015 |
brunnette4real: You did well to the first. For the second one, it could be that his decision is hinge on finance. He really loves you, this dude loves you to want to marry you but finance is his major obstacle. I don't know what your ideologies are but if you guys had sat down to iron out the finance aspect and see how you can manage things, may be it could have worked. he has his fears and that is what is inhibiting him. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by thorpido(m): 7:17am On Apr 17, 2015 |
brunnette4real:This guy may want to settle but feels he may not be at the level he wants financially.You work and he works so i don't know why he may still feel limited financially.I think you should discuss with him to know what his financial goals are. Are you satisfied with his character and other things? He is trying to disconnect from you so you should expect him to be cold.You took the right decision since you want out too.It's good to move on if you don't see it working out. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by iwatch: 7:48am On Apr 17, 2015 |
thorpido:My thoughts exactly. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 7:52am On Apr 17, 2015 |
Finances,yes.he is a contract staff with an oil servicing firm,so he is looking at getting a permanent job or starting a bizness,he also said he is not convinced I'm his wife yet,that he needs to pray before taking that life decision.But,if he finds his wife this year,even if he doesn't have money for wedding he will pay her brideprice this year.that he really desire me for a wife but God has d final say. He has good xter and has being there for me always. I was thinking if I should call him&try to see him ,cos I don't want it to look as if I'm pushing him away or I don't care just to maintain our friendship,or should I leave him the way he is? 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 7:56am On Apr 17, 2015 |
Sometimes I think he maybe looking for a better option,although I may be wrong because he told me he is not @ all. |
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