Today my focus shall be on the PICK UP LINES! U know the ice breaker, conversation starter (or ender) dat most dudes apply whenever dey are in the presence of a hot new chick! Not all guys are blessed wit the gift of gab or unending charm but still as any man over the age of "14" knows by now experience is the best teacher when it comes to spitting hot flows @ honeys! Unfortunately some guys seem 2 get more foolish than wise wit age so dey are still stuck in reverse mode when it comes 2 pick up flows! some of us have dem as friends or relatives so please let us use dis medium to educate and enlighten these poor suckers of love! As for the guys please don't make the mistake of using dis lines @ all and also add yours to the thread for reference purposes, and as 4 the ladies feel free to add sum of the terrible ones dat sum of us may not have jammed yet! Fire away!!!
1. "You'll do."...2 a babes ears, dis sounds or means dat u are actually doing her a favour by selecting her out of the other contenders or As if yur going 2 smash her out of pity and she has no choice! Dis can only work if u roll like jay z or bill gates, so expect a heavy 6 inch nail to swiftly follow dis line @ least evry single time u utter dis tripe 2 women!
2. "I've got a more money than u can spend"
... so how come @ dat very moment u are saying this, U are spending dis. YA MONEY @ a beer parlour, or an average lounge or club and not in "miami
, paris or ibiza surrounded by models,champagne and bodyguards? Cash no dey lie,so it does not need 2 make noise, saying crap like dis 2 sharp babes just makes u look poorer and also full of B.S! Bone am! Expect her to ask immediately 4 something u can't afford just 2 embarrass U and end yur forming!
3. "So, how many kids do you have?"
..Dis is not charming. Dis is not cute. It is not
even a little bit endearing. It is, however, just a
wee bit like you're an ass. She never sabi u reach dat level! If she tells u by herself then better but don't becum desperate wen u are running out of topics! Dis line is just rude! Or are u searching 4 a babymama or u want 2 adopt 1 of hers? Expect her 2 make a polite excuse and cut out!
4. "Please! I know I am just laying eyes on you
but I am so much in need of you. Would you
consider me?"..Lol! CONSIDER ME! I thot dis line died after high skool but sum jegudujera homies still dey drop am from time 2 time! Consider U 4 what? Employment? Admission? Or visa? Guys e neva bad like dat! Dis is J.S.3 standard stuff so please avoid it! It reeks and stinks of archaic,ancient desperation mixed wit Lies! By the way she would also be wondering how frequently dis yur eyes get laid on tins dat u suddenly need! Expect looks of pity from her and evil laughter from yur goons!
5." Hello! You are not married are you? If you are
then we have to very careful. I don't want
trouble!"...ha ha! Dis one makes u look like a world class polygamy loving philanderer and also like unfaithful husband material! Going after married babes is bad enuff but by anticipating trouble u have shown her dat u have prior home breaking experience! and how r u sure she wants the same experience wit her own home! Expect a slap wit dis line!
6. " So How do we see?"...are u both blind? Or did she say she was studying 2 become an optician? Dis is a very immature way of asking for a babes follow up contacts! A real boss would confidently remind her of how u enjoyed chatting, dancing or doing wotever wit her and simply ask 4 her phone number! If she's down u will get it if she says she has no phone or her battery is dead, most of the time dat means she no send u! So asking straight 4 her digits saves time and if she starts making it a long ting, let her be and don't drop yurs or a card! Save dat for a babe dat sends u bak! Expect d unexpected!
7."Who was dat guy/ is dat your man"? Wtf? Wetin concern u? Or are u gay? Whoever she was talking 2 or came wit should never be your bizness! U just come off sounding immature or afraid wen a girl shows u attention and u start wit crap like dis! If she was wit any man dat she wanted to come bak then she will tell u trust me! If its her bros,bf or cuzin allow her let u know! Yur attention shud be on her and her alone, who she's with or sitted next 2 is Not Yur Biz! Allow her do the intro or wotever else! Expect nothing nice!
8."Is there something wrong wit me?"...chei! U have finally ended yurself wit dis 1! Of course dia is something wrong wit u! U lack confidence and u are insecure about something! It also shows u are good @ failing wit babes regularly hence dis pitiful line is part of yur armoury! U have also handed her the initiative 2 jabo yur ass! U shud never give a babe d chance 2 think dat anyting is wrong wit U, rather make her tink dat sumting is wrong wit her 4 rejecting u! Expect pity and noting else!
9. "What tribe are U or Are u a muslim/christian?"..damn! Does it even matter? What should matter 2 u @ dat point is how u have just displayed yur "ethnic,jingoistic, fanatical insecurities" 2 her all @ once! After all if the same girl offers u sex dat night I doubt if u would tell her.."Sorry I only smash igbo girls"! Tribe and religious affiliations are social factors and should never stand in d way of u meeting or getting 2 know someone new who may be all u r looking 4! These questions should come later later, dats if u will even get d chance @ all! Expect sum minor abuse in her native language dat u won't understand!
10."Hey baby/ Hey U Or SSSSS(snake call)"! ....have u ever met any woman called baby? Or are u in a wheelchair dat u need dis tactic to get her attention? Or are u trying 2 speak sum sort of new python language to a human being? Men have a tendency to approach babes in bars or on the street in completely the wrong manner Whether it’s out of a fear of rejection or just general stupidity, sum dudes often come off as being crude and insulting making u look like an agbero! The reason is becuz most guys don’t want 2 leave themselves open to ridicule and, therefore, often act pompous and arrogant when approaching good looking babes. Either we say something obnoxious just to provoke a reaction and make our friends laugh or we tend 2 take the pickup line so seriously that it’s bound 2 fail. If u tend 2 get straight faced while trying to use a pickup line, you'll inevitably be rebuked or worse, laughed at. Confidence is a good ting but acting like a doofus gets u nowhere unless u are chasing a "local, bush, queen of the damned" wit limited social skills! Always approach babes wit the g.q etiqutte! Learn yur ABC's (Always Be Cool) Expect a classy babe 2 ignore yur arrogant ass but a jenifa wud definitely answer u out of fear!!!!!!

interesting

How often does it work for you?
I will also like to know your assest
:-XHow often does it work for you?
I will also like to know your assest

U don talk finish? Wrong way to teach! After telling of 10 lines guys should avoid, you should given an example or more of the correct things to say. Instead of correcting, u have only succeeded in confusing and leaving in a quandry, guys who may have been using these lines.

Solid!

toasting in 2015

SleekyP:
toasting in 2015

.....na only prostitutes u dey tear? So u no dey talk to babe 4 street or 4 club? Or u no dey hear english again?

funlord:
.....na only prostitutes u dey tear? So u no dey talk to babe 4 street or 4 club? Or u no dey hear english again?

fck or pass!

SleekyP:


fck or pass!

.....lol!

The importance of paragraphing cannot be over emphasized.

MzNelly:
The importance of paragraphing cannot be over emphasized.

.....take this your suggestion and post it on every thread ever created on nairaland! Since you have so much time on your hands Mrs soyinka!

redhook:
.....take this your suggestion and post it on every thread ever created on nairaland! Since you have so much time on your hands Mrs soyinka!

~ She's right. Arrange that sshit well and stop stressing our cornea ...

redhook:
.....take this your suggestion and post it on every thread ever created on nairaland! Since you have so much time on your hands Mrs soyinka!

....epic! Lmfao!

redhook:
.....take this your suggestion and post it on every thread ever created on nairaland! Since you have so much time on your hands Mrs soyinka!

Lol, don't take it personal.

I'm just saying I'd understand your point clearer if you spaced it out a bit.

That isn't hard, is it?

Anyways its gud for the toasters, as for me i use the easiest way out which is 'hello baby do you love me?' if the girl says yes then i say 'ok i love you too' as easy as that and dating kick starts ASAP. Its working for me.

MzNelly:


Lol, don't take it personal.

I'm just saying I'd understand your point clearer if you spaced it out a bit.

That isn't hard, is it?

.....nothing personal madam, maybe a little bit of sarcasm but all in jest sha! Btw I don't take or need requests or suggestions from random strangers on NL! Things like that matter only in the real world not in cyberspace! Hug it out! Cheers!

redhook:
.....nothing personal madam, maybe a little bit of sarcasm but all in jest sha! Btw I don't take or need requests or suggestions from random strangers on NL! Things like that matter only in the real world not in cyberspace! Hug it out! Cheers!

#I dislike guys hissing like snakes just to get a girl's attention. #You need to use style ask the girl if na Muslim she be for some parts of North, if not you go collect!

Number 7 and 10

Men just stop that menh stop it!

to my naija dudes, in case u try all d tori from number 1 to 10 n d chic still no gree. pls, don't take any shi.t cos of some number. if she's rude n trash talks u, simply get a 'shovel' n load her up wit a whole pile of shi.t. it is very important that u forget a 'bad market' quickly cos b4 u walk another 50meters u'll see another fine chic n this time u'll be in a good frame of mind to lauch another attack.


na wa o. all this stress cos of a chic

no spacing
op too lazy ...........SMH

tosyne2much:
OP, remind me when this gets to the HQ

I dedicate this plot of land to Twaci

Awww sweedy

Pls kindly ff on twitter , @yungjahil. will ff back, thanks