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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? (6538 Views)
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Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 1:22am On Apr 21, 2015 |
I've been talking to this Black American guy for about 2 months now and we have allot in common, he's funny I really like him and he seems very serious about dating and getting married. He's been there for me when I had a death in my family, we talk everyday and we've talked almost 12 hours a couple of times. He's really sweet, I do feel I can tell him anything and not be afraid of judgment, so all in all I do see potential in him. My mother HATES the idea and she will have no part in it. I understand her reasons, she feels she will lose me if i marry out of our culture but I don't think that is fair or reasonable. The guy has developed strong feelings for me over a short period of time which I did express concerns over but I do believe that they are genuine, he said he wouldn't let me go so easily and has even considering moving closer to home for his masters so he can be closer to me. I just want the freedom to be happy with who I choose to be with not because I want to please my parents, I don't want to disappoint them but I also don't want my parents telling me who to be with. We've met in person he drove a few hours to come see me during spring break we spent an entire day together, we will also be attending summer classes at the same community college so this entire summer we should be able to get to know each other more. This situation is stressing me out and is completely unfair I understand Naija culture being raised in a Nigerian household but spending most of my life here in America has made me more open minded and I wish my parents would feel the same way. I don't want to disappoint or bring shame to my family but I dont want to jeopardize my happiness because of it, Advice ![]() ![]() |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by stephenqueen: 1:24am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Follow your heart 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 1:34am On Apr 21, 2015 |
stephenqueen:Follow her heart |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by kinibigdeal(m): 1:36am On Apr 21, 2015 |
And you call him "akata" ![]() |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by ronald4lif(m): 1:38am On Apr 21, 2015 |
And you had to use the "Akata" slang to describe him? How does that even sound. That blacks are referred to as Akata in the States doesn't mean one should call someone she claims to love such a demeaning name. I couldn't read this story coz of that blunder. Learn to address people you hold dear appropriately. 8 Likes |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Pheals(f): 1:49am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Make a pledge to your mom that she won't lose u! Culture dey change o ... 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 1:50am On Apr 21, 2015 |
stephenqueen:which heart |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by stephenqueen: 1:57am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Ipledge: ![]() |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:00am On Apr 21, 2015 |
ronald4lif:You So on point.I wish to know where her akata comes from |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:01am On Apr 21, 2015 |
stephenqueen:I dont know what u mean |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Doortun(m): 2:03am On Apr 21, 2015 |
From the description above he appears to be someone with direction in life.However, I have few questions. What is his family dynamics? Single mom raised or stepfather raised? Does he have any thug-like attitude like piercing, tattoo and sagging? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by ronald4lif(m): 2:04am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Ipledge: Don't mind her, she can't address someone she intend to have a relationship with properly. So much for love. Akata ko apapa ni. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:06am On Apr 21, 2015 |
ronald4lif: I don't see it as demeaning unless it's used in a negative context, that's how everybody around me refers to them and I assumed not everyone here would understand me unless I used the word. Do not attack me for doing what I know, it's not nice. |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:07am On Apr 21, 2015 |
ronald4lif: You're very aggressive. |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:09am On Apr 21, 2015 |
At op,Please which city is ur akata from... |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:10am On Apr 21, 2015 |
kinibigdeal: Oh lord, forgive me for using the word okay.... I just want some good advice now because nobody in my family wants to hear me, can I get a break somewhere? |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:12am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Ipledge: He's from Texas, USA |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:13am On Apr 21, 2015 |
trending words these days: texas, ondo. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:14am On Apr 21, 2015 |
ronald4lif:Thé Word akata scare me self At op,i dont think you can get thé right Answer here,because many people dont how their behaviour...Maybe You should seek advice for someone that have lived with akatas...Maybe a Nigerian that have many akata co workers 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:14am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: take him to nigeria and see if he's still interested after that. not set in stone though. alternatively, take him to nigerian functions and see if he copes. |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by ronald4lif(m): 2:15am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: The context to which it's used is irrelevant. Akata is inappropriate and that's for a fact. How are they perceived and regarded in the U.S? Blacks are referred to as negros as well so how does that sound to you? Can there ever be a good context referring to someone as a negro. That everybody around you refers to blacks as Akata is another baseless ground to tag an acquaintant with same brush. This is a Nigerian forum. We would have understood "black guy" better than Akata. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:16am On Apr 21, 2015 |
Doortun: His father was in the air force for many years and is now a correctional officer, his mother works for homeland security. His sister is a psychologist. He wants to be a counseling psychologist, he'll be graduating in December, and will do his masters shortly after than. He has no tattoos or piercings, he doesn't sag. He's very clean cut and a gentleman. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:16am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO:I think you should ask of people living texas,We have many Nigerians living in texas,maybe u should ask them.But If your Akata is from NY.I will advice u to court him for a long time |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by ronald4lif(m): 2:18am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: No, I am not aggressive. I'm one of the least aggressive person on this forum. But I just had to point out that blunder. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:19am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO:I think from thé description,your guy have good background.thé fact that he was raised by both parents...one thing i know common to them is aggresiveness 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:19am On Apr 21, 2015 |
ronald4lif: Thankyou for the lecture and your passion, but I asked this question for advice on what to do about my situation not to be attacked and made to feel even worse than I already do now simply because I used a word that I hear every time Black Americans are brought up, good day. |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:20am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: oh geez. what's your own field? |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:21am On Apr 21, 2015 |
tpiadotcom: Okay, thankyou |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:21am On Apr 21, 2015 |
what does akata mean?:/ anyway, i suggest you get your parents to like him or at least acknowledge him. wait . . . are you white yourself? 1 Like |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:22am On Apr 21, 2015 |
tpiadotcom: Can you please let me know what your "Oh geez" means?? and I'm studying to become a Nurse Anesthetist |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Doortun(m): 2:23am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: My initial concern was poor family orientation and up-bringing. African Americans with sense of direction are rare to find. You have one right on your feet so what are you waiting for? Enjoy before he grows wings and fly away and be a good Ambassador to other Nigerian ladies. |
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:24am On Apr 21, 2015 |
TobiBabiOO: what are his reason/s for wanting to date you? what's his marital status? any kids/baby mamas? what's your own marital status? any kids? these are probably some of the reasons why your parents arent enthusiastic |
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