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Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by CSTR2: 9:14pm On Apr 22, 2015
Nursy:
Abeg na who dey give dem belle?
I can only spare u from this statement if u have never had premarital sex. Like the girls impregnate themselves, right?
Are the girls "babies" , that they can't take responsibility for their actions?
99"% of the time, the unprotected sex was consensual.
Any mumu girl that gives me this excuse in real life will get a full embarrassment.

1 Like

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by VickyRotex(f): 9:16pm On Apr 22, 2015
Do I continue with the marriage? : YES

Do I accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ? : angry lipsrsealed undecided

Do I insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ? : NO

Do I just go ahead and marry her with a positive : YES
mindset ?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by zionBB(f): 9:16pm On Apr 22, 2015
If guys dat get these girls pregnant marries dem der will nt be all these abortion tale well marry the girl bc is not easy 4 a girl to reveal such a sad experience and abortion cannot hinder her from being pregnant jst pray and make sure ur heart accept her b4 any futher arrangement datz my advice
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by ekiloui(f): 9:18pm On Apr 22, 2015
I don't get all this talk about trying u and testing you.

It's easy...simply take her for a fertility test. It can be done in any hospital, not expensive and all couples are even advised to do it before marriage.

If she can have children proceed with the marriage and if she can't I'll advise you to go for someone who can since you obviously want children. I can't ask you to stay with her if she can't have kids cos it'll lead to frustration and unhappiness. But then, you alone know how strong your feelings are.

Best bet OP is that she might still be fertile, abortion only renders women barren if it's not properly done or when complications occur..that's why u hear of some having 9 abortions etc.

Do the test and follow your heart
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by carterkelly1(m): 9:19pm On Apr 22, 2015
agarawu23:
she knows about your past relationship and she still open up to you ,then I give her 3 gbosa!!!

1. her story might be false to know how much you care because her boldness for telling you such is what's strange to me

2. Guys are adviced dis days to make sure your wife to be is at least 1month pregnant before you start marriage arrangement(that's if you are financially ready to settle down)


ladies and abortion these dayslipsrsealed

noted sir
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by CaptPlanet(m): 9:19pm On Apr 22, 2015
This right here is what pisses me off with people.

You get me to come clean with my sh*t because "if I love you" I should do it, only for you to keep your sh*t to yourself till we start talking marriage! What are you trying to do, bait me into that stage so I can't back out?

Well, she's you're fiance, you either stick with it or be done with it.

Dammed feelings, they get in the way of everything!
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Trustworthiness: 9:19pm On Apr 22, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Shey, because she told him? Do you know how many babes that have done worse yet they act like saints? See, what matters is the repentance and thatz what God is looking at too. Besides, do you know many times you have sin against God yet He's not mad at you. We ask God to forgive us our sins yet we are so harden to forgive those that have wronged us.

I don't think you are getting the message from the op. The guy wants marriage that will produce children not marriage without children.

Moreover, you can't asked a man to just carry on his head the damage done by someone else. The only reason the op could be getting such girls without womb or damaged womb is If he as well has done some damage on some other girls and God want to pay him back in his own coin.

From what is happening these days, it is high time for girls to know that it is better preserve their virginity untilthey got married and not during courtship. As not all courtship leads to marriage.

So, girls don't get yourself lured to sex before marriage because a guy promise to marry you or being desperate.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by 9jatatafo(m): 9:19pm On Apr 22, 2015
Simple, take her to a doctor and let the doctor check her womb status and fertility status or you do it your way by planting your seed in her, make sure the seed is a month old and proceed with the wedding. I hail the girl too for opening up. Some girls are dangerous.
I have a friend who got married to his girl not knowing that the girl have been married before and she ran away from her first husband. Never told the guy until the bubble burst.
Remember that a woman is like a horse any guy can ride on her
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by luckman20(m): 9:20pm On Apr 22, 2015
Man no fit water fruit wey God plant
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by gbenga4my(m): 9:20pm On Apr 22, 2015
JustBB:
Afterall she's not your first girl. She opened up to you I think you should appreciate that. I have a cousin you got married as a virgin, she has been married for like 14years and till now she has not conceived and I knoe someone who has lost count of abortion and within a space of 5years of marriage she has had 4 children. Pregnancy is not a matter of she has aborted before or not as long as no damage is done to her womb.
I understand your argument dear nd I understand Wat dis guy is saying. Remember we all Av limit to Wat we can handle. It takes a mature mind to handle such without using it against the lady in future.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by ryd3(m): 9:21pm On Apr 22, 2015
Hedybee:
How much does it cost to run Fertility test.. Na wao
How much does it cost to influence the test result with a bribe? After all if they can bribe for election...

1 Like

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by anathemiamia(f): 9:21pm On Apr 22, 2015
agarawu23:
she knows about your past relationship and she still open up to you ,then I give her 3 gbosa!!!

1. her story might be false to know how much you care because her boldness for telling you such is what's strange to me

2. Guys are advised dis days to make sure your wife to be is at least 1month pregnant before you start marriage arrangement(that's if you are financially ready to settle down)


ladies and abortion these dayslipsrsealed


I'm beginning to think its the guy. How can only he, past and current girlfriend. That statistic is like God's will for him. lol. She might be pranking him sha
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by ifex370(m): 9:22pm On Apr 22, 2015
cabjoy:
dey tin d swt na:::::::::::::::::sex::::::::::::::
.




seriously ehn... sex is overrated
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by cocokiller1(f): 9:24pm On Apr 22, 2015
Bonapart:
if I was the op, i won't marry her....
She's a murder...
Why didn't she keep the baby. Wat dis the bay do wrong... the baby was innocent
lol
what if it was her den boify dat mounted pressure on her to abort
I knw of sum1 her boify threatened to kill if she doesn't abort
he evn beats her wenever he meets her
she delivered d baby tho nd guy doesn't give a hoot abt d baby
mayb later he will
but u can't totally call d girl a murderer
d boy is worse dan a murderer
that's d kind of pressure some girls face coupled with societal pressure b4 nw nobi nw wey baby mamaism dy trend
I am not in support of it tho
but I can only sympathise wen it's only d girls dat get tagged with names whereas most times d boys contribute evn more so the abortion can take place
what do u call sum1 dat traps children in rubber bags?
they don't evn get to see d brk of light.
moral of the story.....fleee 4rm fornication
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by bejeria101(m): 9:26pm On Apr 22, 2015
Trust a woman to mess things up,so you kept this frm him during courtship abi,if he throws you out or doesnt go ahead with d wedding he would be a bad guy abi? Your ancestors bit the wrong side of the apple.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Nursy(f): 9:27pm On Apr 22, 2015
Hehehe.... That's their business. Sincerely speaking I don't and won't support abortion but I hate it when guys come here to pour all the insults on ladies. Sometimes these ladies who are blinded by love are cajoled into having unprotected sex and then the guy tells u 'I'm not ready to be a father'. Its annoying mehn.
CSTR2:
Are the girls "babies" , that they can't take responsibility for their actions?
99"% of the time, the unprotected sex was consensual.
Any mumu girl that gives me this excuse in real life will get a full embarrassment.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Ushiefrank(m): 9:28pm On Apr 22, 2015
Why will u swear for people if u no spread ur mat would they sleep and ejaculate to form Foetus?
Mprex:
Op prolly that lady is just trying you. What lady in her right mind would tell you that after hearing your story.


Maybe she is just bieng sincere


all thesame, i will advice you to go on with the marriage


all those guys shouting ladies and abortions on this thread, thunder fire you JTs


whether those ladies took in through sachet water
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by KAYD007(m): 9:28pm On Apr 22, 2015
MRBrownJ:


why should you? all what you have with this lady was build on deceit. this lady knew fully well that you were against such practices and why you broke up with ex..... so she has only herself to blame for where you guys are now. its called RESPECT and she should have respected your stand and told you then about her own abortion so you could decide (then) if you want to continue with her or not.
dont change for anybody, if that is what you are against then you cant continue with this lady.



No you dont. you have just been unlucky in that aspect....and you have to remember that unfortunately many out there have done it, but there are gems out there and you need to keep looking and not act out of desperation to be called a husband.



why are you against abortion? is it because you are afraid she cant get pregnant or just that you are against the act? if you are just afraid that her womb is damaged then tell her that this is the only way you can marry her. remember that you can only accept to marry her after the baby is born, not after a positive pregnancy test......but beware as this can lead to many hurtful outcomes.




there are no positive mindset here, and there would never be, especially if she does not get pregnant quickly.
you have to sit down and ask yourself what is important in your life, what you are seeking, what you desire...... and when you do know, come and let us in on it
Good to have you back MR BROWNJ!
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Nobody: 9:29pm On Apr 22, 2015
ammyluv2002:

God is the giver of children! I'm not saying kudos to the lady but you shouldn't judge her from her past/mistakes. We are all human so why not just forgive her and tell her to ask God for Mercy and move on with your wedding plans
What is this one saying? undecided
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Gbengard(m): 9:29pm On Apr 22, 2015
Mprex:
Op prolly that lady is just trying you. What lady in her right mind would tell you that after hearing your story.


Maybe she is just bieng sincere


all thesame, i will advice you to go on with the marriage


all those guys shouting ladies and abortions on this thread, thunder fire you JTs


whether those ladies took in through sachet water

Lol take am easy na, no vex... dem no fit 4low u na joke again? pretty bae like u
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by bigl: 9:30pm On Apr 22, 2015
nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

Guy, deception too much. If she confessed of her own volition, and not that u caught her by yourself, you may forgive and ensure you go for comprehensive pregnancy test. I don't mean just scan o! Do hsg, laparoscopy etc and ensure she doesn't have pid which most times lead to blocked tubes.

May God help us guys
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Nobody: 9:30pm On Apr 22, 2015
nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..
I feel ur pain. I just wonder why she waited all this while b4 revealing such to U? afterall person wey go marry her go stiill go ahead no matter d circumstance. but i hate make someone wey i dey in relationship wth hide things frm me sha oo. such person fit kill person b dat o.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by RiffRaff: 9:30pm On Apr 22, 2015
Before her, u had your standard for the kind of girl you want to be with.
Why is everyone sayin "She told him, hence he should pity her and marry her like that?"
I dont understand that part. If an abortion is a deal breaker for u, dont marry anybody out of pity oh.
Will the girl marry you if you told her u had HIV or Low sperm count? Dont let anybody guilt trip you into marryin a 'Damaged Good'.
Its deceptive that she waited till after your introduction to tell you this. just make sure u make up your mind before walking down the aisle with that girl.
For those saying is it not a man that impregnated her? Ehen make she go marry the man who give am belle now. Why should the OP pay for another guys mistake?
In a world where condom is cheap, she took the hard way of abortion.
The OP has a standard he has set for the kind of girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with so he has the right to continue or not if he chooses.
Dont let the fear of what will people say scare u... Make your decision by yourself and stick to it.
I wish you goodluckman.

On the flip side.. If fertility is your problem, here are what you can do:
1. Go to the hospital & run a fertility test.
2. Try getting her pregnant before the wedding and see for yourself.
On the flip side..
A. What if she is just joking and trying to test you? Some people have a sense of humour like that..

Marrying a Nigerian Woman is like a wrapped box.. U never truely know what you are marrying into till you get home and open the box.
Guys, beware of Naija girls.

3 Likes

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by mexyk(m): 9:36pm On Apr 22, 2015
ifex370:
Hian...











Nigerian girls and abortion
undecided








its becoming alarming oo
U mean the girls get pregnant out of the blues? What of the men responsible for it? Men are always quick to give blame to women because they think they are superior. Real men are not sexists. They take responsibility
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by Nobody: 9:37pm On Apr 22, 2015
My advice for you is to go and do a fertility test,if the test result shows that her womb has been damaged thereby she cannot conceive a child..

Leave her and look for someone else...

You can't marry her out of pity and regret it later in life....don't think of her happiness alone,think about how you will retain your name,sustain your lineage..

You did not ask her to go and be fvking without condom or using drugs...

Fvking hoe....

Hoes everywhere My advice for you is to go and do a fertility test,if the test result shows that her womb has been damaged thereby she cannot conceive a child..

Leave her and look for someone else...

You can't marry her out of pity and regret it later in life....don't think of her happiness alone,think about how you will retain your name,sustain your lineage..

You did not ask her to go and be fvking without condom or using drugs...

Fvking hoe....

Hoes everywhere
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by hansbad: 9:38pm On Apr 22, 2015
Op hw many girls av u pregenet ? B4 u judge another person judge ur self first. For her to knw abt ur past wit ur ex and still come up wit it bros she won knw ur mind set.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by kinibigdeal(m): 9:38pm On Apr 22, 2015
undecided

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by mymissingrib(m): 9:38pm On Apr 22, 2015
u beta live with it one of every ten ladies is guilty of abortion.Fear Woman
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by pretty050(f): 9:40pm On Apr 22, 2015
Op what if she didn't mention it to you? It's God that gives children, some women marry as virgin and still ttc for some time. Follow your heart.

1 Like

Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by CSTR2: 9:42pm On Apr 22, 2015
Any lady that is stupid enough to get pregnant pre-maritally in this day and age must have some seriously low IQ.
I wouldn't want such moronns to pass their genetic material for "retardity" to my children.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by bigass123(m): 9:44pm On Apr 22, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Shey, because she told him? Do you know how many babes that have done worse yet they act like saints? See, what matters is the repentance and thatz what God is looking at too. Besides, do you know many times you have sin against God yet He's not mad at you. We ask God to forgive us our sins yet we are so harden to forgive those that have wronged us.


Madam ammy, with all due respect.. are you asking this guy to enter "one chance" in the name of forgiveness? Later in life if they have issues with reproduction (God forbid) and the guys shares this experience, abeg who will be blamed? People won't even mind the woman anymore, they will blame the man for he has been forewarned. This man shouldn't be forced to pay for another man's sins. You were talking about fertility tests...that is not even a guarantee that she will conceive oh. In this part of the world, a lot of things happen to promiscuous men/women that science can't explain. Those who understand the system know what I'm talking about.
The only option as it is if the guy truly loves her is to ensure she gets pregnant and then speed up the wedding process.
Re: Please Help Me..... She Openned Up To Me After Our Family Introduction. by PreciousGem(f): 9:45pm On Apr 22, 2015
God is d giver of children don't enter your home with doubt. God is a merciful God there are many women who have done series of abortion yet they give birth when they want to easily and they are those who have not done single abortion or even have sex with a man before marriage yet it would take them years to have their own children with series of prayers and fasting. bros just be grateful to God that's all I can say to u

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