Babytil:
Ur so on point

Tnx

If only guys wud stop sleeping with girls before marriage there wont be a need for abortion cus it all starts frm the guys sleeping with the girls nd then mistakenly or delibrately releasing inside the girls So before u judge others judge urself. dnt just stay there and play the hero bcus u guys dnt get pregnant.

YUNGLURD:
I see sense in ur post but gals too should limit this abortion of a thing.

girls do not make themselves pregnant. Rather, it should be 'guys should limit making girls pregnant' On the other hand, if girls should limit abortions, will you be comfortable marrying a lady with a child? No woman under normal circumstances will ever ask for an abortion. But, when they are faced with unbearable challenges like, stigmatization for being an out-of-wedlock-mother, denials from partner, lack of family support and etc. Never the lest, no suitor in his right senses, would prefer a mother over a spinster given the right circumstance. However, girls can only limit abortion, when we take up more responsibilities in relationships.

ammyluv2002:
Hahaha! Do you know why I'm laughing? 2 out of 5 girls have done something like dis. They won't you the guys but tell their follow babes. A lot of babes are guilty of dis which is very disturbing but why punish someone who accepts she's wrong and asked for Mercy? I tire for una o

Forgive at whose expense na? why not go back to the person who she terminated the pregnancy for... you keep preaching forgiveness like its something from the cloud. abeg oh!
You're free to reason like a female, I'm a male and I'm built to reason clearly and objectively. Most girls are guilty of this crime at this age and time.
So, I have to be sure I'm not marrying a basket ..I have to be very sure oh.
Preaching forgiveness after a lifelong damage has been done, so an innocent husband is to bear brunt abi? You try!!!! Let's assume he's your brother. You'll change tune quickly I know.
I don't pray you experience the trauma of childlessness. I fear ladies of these generation pass Satan oh.

Nursy:
Abeg na who dey give dem belle?
I can only spare u from this statement if u have never had premarital sex. Like the girls impregnate themselves, right?

You cannot be impregnated without you knowledge

ammyluv2002:
Guys sha *smh*

Tell them the truth before marriage ......problem
Hide the truth till after marriage ......problem


Most Guys are so difficult to please ie guys like the poster

Dude, pls stop looking for excuses and settle down with somebody. Most ladies pretend and lie a lot and you're lucky to have met a lady who isn't a liar

God is the giver of children! I'm not saying kudos to the lady but you shouldn't judge her from her past/mistakes. We are all human so why not just forgive her and tell her to ask God for Mercy and move on with your wedding plans

So wat if ur blood broda or a relation falls in d same situation like d op… u wil giv him d same advise?

MrsChima:


I was waiting on you to slip! Lol.

If the relationship is based on deceit then he needs to run like hell. However, we have to be realistic if she was never asked about her medical history and she doesn't disclose that information then no deceit has been preformed. It is no one business of how many abortions she had.

Mrs C, the guy wrote that:"I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex" ....... what that means is that she fully well knew that this guy was against women who have had abortions, therefore at that moment , she should have been honest and let him know her past. not doing so was just a way to delay the obvious. it is her "possible" future husband business to know if this lady has done things in the past that can hurt their future together. just like a man has got to know if his future wife was an ex ashewo, so that he can decide if he wants to be with such woman, since people (friends family neighbours) would surely know about it with time.

If she has a life threatening disease and can cause harm to him then she has legally bound to disclose that information because that is a deadly weapon and attempted murder.

you are right about that.

Abortion is not a life and death case nor it doesn't Mean she can't get pregnant again.

it depends who you are talking to.... some overly religious people would NOT want to be with a gal who had an abortion, while others wouldnt care. some people care deeply about such things, some much so that they not want to marry such person. its all down to each and everyone of us to decide what is best for us all

He doesn't love her unconditionally because that is not something to leave a relationship for especially if he never inquired about it!

sista, you can only love someone unconditionally, as long as they still have what you desire/require in a mate. the minute she does not meet any of your criteria, you have to re-evaluate your r/ship, and take a decision as to whether stay together or move on.

Women don't go around telling the world they have had abortions and she told him before marriage! He has a choice to deal or deal....many don't even get an opportunity before marriage!

she should have told him the same day he told her he was against such practice? why say it now that they he has made the introduction?! THAT to me is even a bigger deceit, because she waited when he had already made a big step to reveal such nonsense. just because many get fooled this way does not mean that this man should automatically accept her because she revealed it now, because the outcome would be the same whether before or after marriage.

KAYD007:

Good to have you back MR BROWNJ!

thanks man

Bonapart:
if I was the op, i won't marry her....
She's a murder...
Why didn't she keep the baby. Wat dis the bay do wrong... the baby was innocent

U r very on point

emmadinoyi:
i married as a virgin and we waited 4 yrs before God blessed with our first now we have 3 wonderful children, i know of many friends of mine who are still waiting and they all married as virgins, some 4yr some 5yrs and even more, now i know a lot of girls who lived "wayward" lives got married and instantly God blessed them with children, i know of one who had 2 set of twins, and she was the real defination of 'runs girl', yet she got married and within 3yrs she had 4 children.....so my point is GOD does not think like MAN, he makes all things beautiful in his own time and his own way, make sure you get clearnce from God himself who sees what we cannot see and knows what we dont know and go ahead and marry the love of your live. i have learnt in my few years on earth never to judge anyone by his or her past or present, God in his infinit mercies has said he will always have mercy on whom he will have.
thats my 2cent!!!

Wow so true. God bless u and ur home ma,God is not a man & doesnt see things as men do. So many marry as virgins and had 2 wait 4 some yrs to have their own children. I'm totally against abortion but sincerely God shows mercy to whom he want to show mercy, He's d giver of children. Ensure u have God's backing in ur choice of life partner

preetyb:
If only guys wud stop sleeping with girls before marriage there wont be a need for abortion cus it all starts frm the guys sleeping with the girls nd then mistakenly or delibrately releasing inside the girls So before u judge others judge urself. dnt just stay there and play the hero bcus u guys dnt get pregnant.

n must u spread ur legs to evry man dat cms ur way if u truly av a future u r protecting? Nobody is judging anybody ere, its pure common sense

"Abortion is the killing of two. The baby and the mother's conscience" Mother Teresa. No woman goes for an abortion given the right circumstances and No woman remains the same after it. The unholy memory will haunt her for the rest of her life. Even men are not left out in the struggle. If you have not committed an abortion before. Throw the first stone. @OP, no two women are the same. I once heard a story of a woman who had eleven (11) abortions. When she was married, she also had eleven children. There was also, another woman who had just one abortion and became barren all her life. Do not see my story as a threat, rather, let it be an encouragement to you. If you truly love that lady see a specialist. While, you are on her own, do not forget to also test the quality of your sperm, a weak sperm can also cause unfruitfulness. Like some suggested, it could even be a joke to unveil the 'other side' of you. Above all, remain blessed.

nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

If you continue the marriage, you be fool.


If you settle down with the lady, you be fool



If you insist she get pregnant for you before your wedding, you be the biggest fool.
If you go ahead and marry her with a positive mindset,
Fool of the highest order.



Forget those eeeediot girls were dey say na test she dey test you. This age test of love no dey work.


Brother!!! Go out there and find clean girl.

If you no see, find foreign girl marry.


Nigeria girls don damage finish.


Na the finish goods dey Walker up and down just to catch good product like you

Mprex:
Op prolly that lady is just trying you. What lady in her right mind would tell you that after hearing your story.


Maybe she is just bieng sincere


all thesame, i will advice you to go on with the marriage


all those guys shouting ladies and abortions on this thread, thunder fire you it's


whether those ladies took in through sachet water

I no just know why women no dey think well,


Say she dey test me,for true love or weti?


But if them put new topic about rape. You go open your eeeediotic mouth dey shout,


thunder fire you, your papa and mama.


Eeeediotic

stonecoldcafe:
Shut up and take it as you see it. How many chicks got pregnant and aborted 4u? Karma is real

Rubbish

stonecoldcafe:
Shut up and take it as you see it. How many chicks got pregnant and aborted 4u? Karma is real

Rubbish

ammyluv2002:
Guys sha *smh*

Tell them the truth before marriage ......problem
Hide the truth till after marriage ......problem


Most Guys are so difficult to please ie guys like the poster

Dude, pls stop looking for excuses and settle down with somebody. Most ladies pretend and lie a lot and you're lucky to have met a lady who isn't a liar

God is the giver of children! I'm not saying kudos to the lady but you shouldn't judge her from her past/mistakes. We are all human so why not just forgive her and tell her to ask God for Mercy and move on with your wedding plans

LET ME ASK YOU SOME SIMPLE QUESTION

1.can you marry a serial killer?

2.can you marry an arm robber?


3. Can you marry an illiterate?

4.can you marry a juju man?

5.can you marry a secret cult person?


For your chicken mind, you go say hell no. But you want other person to marry a murderer.


HYPOCRITE

Shut up and take it as you see it. How many chicks got pregnant and aborted 4u? Karma is real
Rubbish

Viciyus:



LET ME ASK YOU SOME SIMPLE QUESTION

1.can you marry a serial killer?

2.can you marry an arm robber?


3. Can you marry an illiterate?

4.can you marry a juju man?

5.can you marry a secret cult person?


For your chicken mind, you go say hell no. But you want other person to marry a murderer.


HYPOCRITE

Biko, park well make i see road

ammyluv2002:
Biko, park well make i see road

Mumu.

Park well jorr

You go dey preach rubbish.

Who knows how many pinkin you don flush.


Nonsense

Don't believe thy story
How can she know you detest something and still own up to doing it.
She's either tired of the relationship or she's testing you.

MRBrownJ:


Mrs C, the guy wrote that:"I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex" ....... what that means is that she fully well knew that this guy was against women who have had abortions, therefore at that moment , she should have been honest and let him know her past. not doing so was just a way to delay the obvious. it is her "possible" future husband business to know if this lady has done things in the past that can hurt their future together. just like a man has got to know if his future wife was an ex ashewo, so that he can decide if he wants to be with such woman, since people (friends family neighbours) would surely know about it with time.



you are right about that.



it depends who you are talking to.... some overly religious people would NOT want to be with a gal who had an abortion, while others wouldnt care. some people care deeply about such things, some much so that they not want to marry such person. its all down to each and everyone of us to decide what is best for us all



sista, you can only love someone unconditionally, as long as they still have what you desire/require in a mate. the minute she does not meet any of your criteria, you have to re-evaluate your r/ship, and take a decision as to whether stay together or move on.




she should have told him the same day he told her he was against such practice? why say it now that they he has made the introduction?! THAT to me is even a bigger deceit, because she waited when he had already made a big step to reveal such nonsense. just because many get fooled this way does not mean that this man should automatically accept her because she revealed it now, because the outcome would be the same whether before or after marriage.

Abortion is a personal matter she doesn't need to tell him anything regarding that and if we are going to get technical then we need to SHARE EVERYTHING private and public...no one will do that including OP.

MrsChima:
Abortion is a personal matter she doesn't need to tell him anything regarding that and if we are going to get technical then we need to SHARE EVERYTHING private and public...no one will do that including OP.

but since abortion has to do with a woman's womb (possibly damaging it), that womb that is needed to start a family, that same family that most Nigerians wouldnt value unless a child is born.......then i would understand why a future husband care that much about his wife's past abortions.

ammyluv2002:
Guys sha *smh*

Tell them the truth before marriage ......problem
Hide the truth till after marriage ......problem


Most Guys are so difficult to please ie guys like the poster

Dude, pls stop looking for excuses and settle down with somebody. Most ladies pretend and lie a lot and you're lucky to have met a lady who isn't a liar

God is the giver of children! I'm not saying kudos to the lady but you shouldn't judge her from her past/mistakes. We are all human so why not just forgive her and tell her to ask God for Mercy and move on with your wedding plans

Just a simple question.. Can u simply explain wot it actually takes for a lady to "shut her vjay" until after her wedding...

MRBrownJ:


but since abortion has to do with a woman's womb (possibly damaging it), that womb that is needed to start a family, that same family that most Nigerians wouldnt value unless a child is born.......then i would understand why a future husband care that much about his wife's past abortions.

There is no hard clad fact that abortion cause infertility. SORRY....it is still her business regardless. Even if she didn't have an abortion....it still doesn't mean she is fertile.

Many women had multiple abortions and still able to.conxieve.

MrsChima:
There is no hard clad fact that abortion cause infertility. SORRY....

never said there was any facts like that nor that it caused infertility, but since most of these ladies have abortion through quack docs, the chances of getting damaged womb are higher. a damaged womb could leave a lady infertile.

it is still her business regardless.

it would be if she did not plan to marry and start a family with the OP. the minute she decides to "share" her life with someone, then her business is also his (and vice versa). it's like buying an used car, you want to check the VIN history to make sure that all is in order. most women without any skeleton in their closets would have no problem with disclosing their past.

Even if she didn't have an abortion....it still doesn't mean she is fertile.

correct.... but its all about taking all the precautions to make sure that your family does not start on the wrong foot. marriage is a big deal and you dont want to discover (after marriage) that your new spouse is damaged good.

Many women had multiple abortions and still able to.conxieve.

and some women out there had ONE through some quack doctor and could never conceive ever again. if you are a gambling person then so be it, but some people dont believe in luck and prefer to never gamble, especially not with such subject.

ammyluv2002:
How you take know? You be God?

Na wa o, which kain question be that na?
You feel say na every guy go fit dey careless like the average dudes?

cocokiller1:
with or without condom
diseases can stl b transferred
u should b preaching abstinence to show u truly against abortion

I am not truly against abortion per se, it can be done to save the life of the mother, what I am against is young girls willing to open their legs for guys that don't want to wear condom. I am not against premarital sex.. Everything should be done in moderation

why tell u after the introduction? Why not before? Insincere sincerity.....smh