raumdeuter:

Is it also uncommon in Nigeria for girls on their own to disqualify the suitors on their own

None of the girls disqualified the men on their own, It was the parents or someone who always disqualify the men for them

coogar:


read the article very well.....
they all took their suitors to their parents & they were all rejected. this is not uncommon in nigeria, abeg. parents setting high standards. is he a doctor, engineer or a lawyer is the most common question....

meanwhile, these parents have sons who are grossly irresponsible sitting at home doing nothing o.........but they want the daughters to pick a top man who works for an oil company, owns a flat in lekki & drives a bugatti.



that statistic is even conservative in my own opinion. it should be only 2 in 10 eligible nigerian women are married. do you really think all those beret-wearing ladies in the church don't desire marriage?

innervoice:

Having irresponsible sons is the more reason to desire a responsible son-in-law. And even if that is their mistake that their sons are irresponsible, why should their daughters pay for their mistakes?

If that is true, then the problem is with men and nobody else. You have just painted a bleak picture of the male gender and perfectly justified why a woman may not choose to get married at all.

freecocoa:
Smh.
Whether they desire marriage or not is not the issue here. Nigerian women get married every day.

coogar:


i strongly disagree....
if the sons are irresponsible, there's nothing to say the daughters wouldn't be far worse than the sons? how did the parents manage to train their daughters but then neglected the sons? highly unlikely.

this is like a female midget demanding a tall suitor. it is no longer her rights to demand such. she should just accept whatever life throws at her......she should never set any standard, that would be tantamount to hypocrisy.

how's the problem with men?
it's the women that should lower their standards to a reasonable range. where do you expect a 25-30 year old nigerian guy to find money to buy a car, get a house, and then fund a multi-million naira wedding?

the boy just probably graduated from a uni. he's just starting his life & some greedy parents are demanding things their own older sons have not achieved. hypergamy is fairly universal but nigerians take theirs to an astronomical level.

cococandy:
The more single women out there, the more single men.

I know plenty of guys that age who are still single.
Why so nobody on their case?
Abi the ladies go marry themselves?

#rolls eye.

innervoice:

As a matter of fact, there are plenty of families in which some kids are very responsible and others not. I am yet to see a family without at least one black sheep. If, however, you believe that their daughters are irresponsible too, then mention their shortcomings and leave out their brothers.

A woman does not need to be tall. I know plenty of tall men who have short girlfriends. Height is a male issue, not a female.

Haven't you just said eligible men are only to be found one in a million? You have answered your question yourself. I didn't know eligible equals very rich.

First it was about his profession and now it's about his bank account. What are we talking about now?

innervoice:

You are contradicting yourself. First you say that too many Nigerians believe that a woman can only be valued if she gets married and then you imply that something is wrong with a woman who is 30+ or 35+ and is not yet married. Then you continue saying that all or most men prefer young girls, which further implies that a woman loses her value if she does not marry in time. You have exactly the same mentality you were condoning in your first paragraph.

Stillfire:
There are more men than women in Nigeria. There would be more men in Nigeria not married than women unless you want to claim some dodgy statistics now. I guess focusing on women is more catchy when we talk about marriage cheesy. The economy is not viable enough for marriage so more Nigerian men than women are not getting married either.

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Stillfire:
Nigerian women you need to stand up to your parents. I have already re-trained my parents ages ago.

coogar:

nigerian parents take the blame 100%
the method some of them use to train their daughters is highly flawed. this is why the majority of nigerian women are socially awkward.

many of them were trained to flee from men & face their studies. some of them @21 still believe they can get pregnant by letting a man touch their arms. that was how most of them were taught by their parents.

then all of a sudden, the same parents who didn't want their daughters to smile at any guy would start pressuring the girls to find a husband overnight. nigerian parents need a huge dose of deliverance.

cococandy:
The more single women out there, the more single men.

I know plenty of guys that age who are still single.
Why is nobody on their case?
Abi the ladies go marry themselves?

#rolls eye.

MRBrownJ:


bwaaaaah, bro let me help.... slowly.
so the topic today is for us to look as to why so many +35 women are still single. i then suggested that it could be because of the following reasonS (focus on the S which means plural). it could be because:
A) these women have been preconditioned to believe that they need a man in order to be valued (and that their parents have the last say on who he should be).
or B) if you follow the stand i just mentioned above then you have to accept your fate if you end up a +35 single woman (or blame your parents)
or C) if you got to +35 and NO MEN has been interested in marrying you then possibly the problem is within YOU
or D) last i pointed out that at +35 there is too much competition, and INDEED these ladies can be referred as old cargo

so again, this is 4 different plausible reasons as to why a Nigerian woman could still be single at +35

coogar:


nigerian parents feel entitled and you cannot really blame them. i mean......what do you expect? they train the kids, house them, feed them, clothe them. an unmarried nigerian woman is highly likely to be staying with her parents.....why won't the parents feel like demi-gods?

coogar:


i said these parents have sons who are irresponsible. sons wouldn't qualify as one black sheep. pay attention to the details...



so a midget can demand to marry a tall man? do you know the meaning of a midget or are you just trolling?




according to the standards set by nigerian parents. eligibility wouldn't be such an issue of the standard applied by nigerian parents is the same as in other climes.

in my neck of the woods, teenagers get married. it's not about what the dude has or doesn't have. as long as they love each other, both families are ready to proceed with the marriage rites.




is profession not tied to bank account in nigeria or what are you trying to say?

Stillfire:


Lol. You are right about one thing. Nigerian girls are not trained to have social skills but trained to be homely, docile and studious.
I was watching African top model on youtube, you would just know the naija girls lacked social skills.

innervoice:

You have said it all. Millions of men are not husband material so the problem is with them and not with Nigerian parents who want the best for their daughters. Thanks.

kaboninc:

But these parents married at a very early age.

lalasticlala:


Source?

innervoice:
There are hundreds of reasons why a lady could be unmarried at 35+ but you chose to mention those. Interesting.

coogar:


the difference is nigerian males are breaking ranks and marrying across the racial lines. even when they cannot find foreign young women, caucasian grannies fly across the atlantic ocean to marry them.

there are more unmarried eligible single women in nigeria than their male counterparts. just attend any of the pentecostal churches in lagos......and see for yourself.

saaedlee:


None, excerpts from my M.Sc Project.

Stillfire:


Buhaha Caucasian grannies. Those numbers will still not upset pairing a Nigerian woman to a Nigerian man. More men are not eligible due to economic factors. So Buhari needs to do something to increase the eligibility pool of men.

Stillfire:


Buhaha Caucasian grannies. Those numbers will still not upset pairing a Nigerian woman to a Nigerian man. More men are not eligible due to economic factors. So Buhari needs to do something to increase the eligibility pool of men.

Stillfire:
There are more men than women in Nigeria. There would be more men in Nigeria not married than women unless you want to claim some dodgy statistics now. I guess focusing on women is more catchy when we talk about marriage . The economy is not viable enough for marriage so more Nigerian men than women are not getting married either.

Suitors will always come, so Nigerian women in Nigeria have a large pool of numbers to choose from. So it makes sense that it's their parents spoiling things for them and not because there's scarcity of men.

I always say it here that Nigerian parents will baby you till you or them die, especially as a female. Some people wanted to crucify one time because I advised one girl that she needs to start challenging her parents decisions when it comes to her life. This is the end result 30-40 year old girls that cannot stand up to their parents, bloody hell.

Nigerian women you need to stand up to your parents. I have already re-trained my parents ages ago.

coogar:


many of them don't even know how to reply when you say hi to them. some just smile & cover their blushing face or make faces like a buffalo just farted in their nostrils.

nigerian men are better-trained as far as social skills are concerned. they tend to go out more at their early stage of development while the female counterpart is still learning how to make every type of soup in the kitchen.

Stillfire:


Lol is that not the criteria you guys want in your wives? 'Very homely'. Something has to give dude. Boys have to join in the housework , so girls can play outside too.

Jman06:
Biology has made it easier to birth more female children than males. Read up the survival chances of the X and Y chromosomes. Also, it is much easier for an older guy to marry a younger girl (even teenagers) than for an older lady to marry a younger guy. That keeps older ladies at disadvantage. However, An older lady stands a chance of getting married even at 45 if she spent her years of spinsterhood developing herself career wise. I am saying this because I know a lady who just got married at 41, and she is a senior staff of one the oil agencies.

kaboninc:


And your inference from your thesis...

Stillfire:


Lol is that not the criteria you guys want in your wives? 'Very homely'. Something has to give dude. Boys have to join in the housework , so girls can play outside too.

coogar:


this is another strong point!
however, there are situations when these women are ready to fund all the expenses and yet no man wants to marry them. many of the women the OP cited are working professionals. why should the income of the suitor matter if it's all down to economy?