Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 8:35pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
Does your girlfriend scream & swear at you? Is your relationship making you feel like you’re slowly going crazy? If so, you’re probably involved with a woman who is an emotionally abusive bully. Do you recognize any of the following behaviours? SIGNS THAT WOULD LET YOU KNOW YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE BULLY 1. Bullying. If she doesn’t get her way, there’s hell to pay. She wants to control you & resorts to emotional intimidation to do it. She uses verbal assaults & threats in order to get you to do what she wants. It makes her feel powerful to make you feel bad. People with a Narcissistic personality are often bullies.
Result: You lose your self-respect & feel outnumbered, sad & alone. You develop a case of Stockholm Syndrome , in which you identify with the aggressor & actually defend her behaviour to others.
2. Unreasonable expectations. No matter how hard you try & how much you give, it’s never enough. She expects you to drop whatever you’re doing & attend to her needs. No matter the inconvenience, she comes first. She has an endless list of dem & s that no one mere mortal could ever fulfill.
Common complaints include: You’re not romantic enough, you don’t spend enough time with me, you’re not sensitive enough, you’re not smart enough to figure out my needs, you’re not making enough money, you’re not FILL IN THE BLANK enough. Basically, you’re not enough, because there’s no pleasing this woman. No one will ever be enough for her, so don’t take it to heart.
Result: You’re constantly criticized because you’re not able to meet her needs & experience a sense of learned helplessness. You feel powerless & defeated because she puts you in no-win situations.
3. Verbal attacks. This is self-explanatory. Result: Your self-confidence & sense of self-worth all but disappear. You may even begin to believe the horrible things she says to you.
4. Unpredictable responses. Round & round & round she goes. Where she’ll stop, nobody knows. She reacts differently to you on different days or at different times. For example, on Monday, it’s ok for you to ping, chat or work in front of her. On Wednesday, the same behaviour is “disrespectful, insensitive, you don’t love me, you’re a self-important jerk, you’re a workaholic.” By Friday, it could be okay for you to ping, chat or work in front of her again. Telling you one day that something’s alright & the next day that it’s emotionally abusive behaviour. It’s like walking through a l & mine in which the mines shift location.
Result: You’re constantly on edge, walking on eggshells & waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is a trauma response. You’re being traumatized by her behaviour. Because you can’t predict her responses, you become hyper vigilant to any change in her mood or potential outburst, which leaves you in a perpetual state of anxiety & possibly fear. It’s a healthy sign to be afraid of this behaviour. It’s scary. Don’t feel ashamed to admit it.
5. Emotional Blackmail. She threatens to abandon you, to end the relationship, or give you the cold shoulder if you don’t play by her rules. She plays on your fears, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, shame, values, sympathy, compassion & other “buttons” to control you & get what she wants.
Result: You feel manipulated, used & controlled.
6. Rejection. She ignores you, won’t look at you when you’re in the same room, gives you the cold shoulder, withholds affection, withholds sex, declines or puts down your ideas, invitations, suggestions & pushes you away when you try to be close. After she pushes you as hard & as far away as she can, she’ll try to be affectionate with you. You’re still hurting from her previous rebuff or attack & you don’t respond. Then she accuses you of being cold & rejecting, which she’ll use as an excuse to push you away again in the future.
Result: You feel undesirable, unwanted & unlovable. You believe no one else would want you & cling to this abusive woman, grateful for whatever scraps of infrequent affection she shows you.
7. Withholding affection & sex. This is another form of rejection & emotional blackmail. It’s not just about sex, it’s about withholding physical, psychological & emotional nurturing. It includes a lack of interest in what’s important to you; your job, family, friends, hobbies, activities & being uninvolved, emotionally detached or shut down with you.
Result: You have a transactional relationship in which you have to perform tasks, buy her things, “be nice to her,” or give into her demands & s in order to receive love & affection from her. You don’t feel loved & appreciated for who you are, but for what you do for her or buy her.
You don’t have to accept emotional abuse in your relationship. You can get help or you can end it. Life is too short to spend one more second in this kind of relationship. If your lady won’t admit she has a problem & agree to get help, real help, then it’s in your best interest to get support, get out & stay out. An extract by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by CountDracula(m): 8:37pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
In other word, how to knw if ure d pvssy and she's d man of d house... |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 8:42pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
CountDracula: In other word, how to knw if ure d pvssy and she's d man of d house... now that's another way to look @ it |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by sinaj(f): 8:45pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
text too long someone shud summarize it for me ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif) where is cutehector ? |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by CountDracula(m): 8:49pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
or3gon: now that's another way to look @ it When someone bullies u, it means ure a pvssy... There's no two way to look at it |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by fuckshit: 8:55pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
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Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 8:57pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
sinaj: text too long
someone shud summarize it for me ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif)
where is cutehector ? hmm, could this be an example ![](/faces/huh.png) |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by Nobody: 9:02pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
Signs that tell me to end the fvck outta that relationship.
Once she starts to exhibit any of these, it's over. Life is too short to manage such nonsense.
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Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 9:17pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
Blackett: Signs that tell me to end the fvck outta that relationship.
Once she starts to exhibit any of these, it's over. Life is too short to manage such nonsense.
your right, for me, it's not really advisable to continue in an abusive relationship, especially if the person chooses not to change |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by Cutehector(m): 9:19pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
sinaj: text too long
someone shud summarize it for me ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif)
where is cutehector ? lol jus came bak frm work... Urm wears eye glasses Clears throat Ekaette! Ekaettte!! Bring me my juice I kept in d frige fast... ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by sinaj(f): 11:13pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
fuckshit: fücking hope this is not a fücking example of an emotional bully ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) lol... f**k dat shiit nigga ![cool](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cool.png) |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by sinaj(f): 11:17pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
or3gon: hmm, could this be an example ![](/faces/huh.png) du u av a match stick |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by fuckshit: 11:42pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
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Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 12:03am On Apr 24, 2015 |
sinaj:
du u av a match stick make we share, where is the weed? |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by sinaj(f): 12:26am On Apr 24, 2015 |
or3gon: make we share, where is the weed? u too beg sef ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) |
Re: Signs That Your Girlfriend Is An Emotional Bully by or3gon: 9:36am On Apr 24, 2015 |
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