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Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) - Family (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) (89269 Views)

Any Married Lady Who Never Had This Is As Good As unmarried. / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians / Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by 2kris(m): 10:34pm On Apr 23, 2015
freecocoa:
Mschew.
hmmm freeecocoa.love diz name.....just like the song cocoa banana
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nicepoker(m): 10:34pm On Apr 23, 2015
Am happily divorced.

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Dragonking: 10:34pm On Apr 23, 2015
bbjummy:
Hmm! Parents and their you can't marry that man until you have your PHD undecided. Thank God I was vindicated after several plea, though at 31.

so u are a victim?
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by GodMode: 10:35pm On Apr 23, 2015
$

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by eagleeyez: 10:35pm On Apr 23, 2015
[quote author=tupacshakur post=33040424]

...stup!d B!tch!

How are you so sure I'm a teenager?

E be like say na one teenage guy dey fucck your smelly Pussyy!

Ashawo like you![/quote


Did u go over your words?

How could u have used such words for goodness sake?is this how u go about in public disgracing your self and spoiling your family name?


Haba!! Let's be mindful of our choice of words.

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by AmakaDNB(f): 10:35pm On Apr 23, 2015
tupacshakur:


...stup!d B!tch!

How are you so sure I'm a teenager?

E be like say na one teenage guy dey fucck your smelly Pussyy!

Ashawo like you!
Oshe!

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by harry509: 10:35pm On Apr 23, 2015
saaedlee:
When unmarried girls reach a certain age, depending on the societies they live in(tho it differs from society to society) people begin to refer to them as “old cargo" etc.

Especially here in Nigeria, people still look upon a young unmarried girl as though she were to blame for her state. Fingers are pointed accusingly at her regardless of the reasons or her own circumstances. The girl soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations, and meddling by those around her and even those closest to her.

The reasons for the girl’s delay in getting married or in not getting married at all are many and varies. But the most prevalent delay of a young Nigerian girl getting married is insecurity, especially financial security. However, there are social circumstances and pressures that also create delays in getting married for the ladies.

There are also other reasons such as high dowries, which may make some young men run from getting married on time. Little wonder why most marriages you see today are consumated by older men and women . Then there are families which demand that a prospective suitor have certain characteristics or else they will not allow their daughters or sisters to marry him.

What do girls in Nigeria say about why they are not married?
How much do they suffer because they are not married?
Can "RUNS" decide on when a girl gets married?
[b]Can a girl begin a new life and start a family no matter how late?

Ekaette, who is 38 years old, said: “I tried to imitate some girls in my family by carrying the banner of ‘No To Marriage’ — at least not until I had completed my education, graduated and worked as a accountant. As time passed, I became increasingly involved in trying to achieve this goal and to be fair, I received many proposals at that time from North, East, and Western parts of this country but the men did not meet my standards. And my friends and family agreed with me because they wanted me to have what I wanted in a partner. My mother, however, God rest her soul, disagreed and used to try to convince me to take the proposals more seriously. She told me over and over not to imitate my cousins since they had not received proposals as good as mine in the first place. But I didn’t listen to her and thought that as I was still young and attractive, I had plenty of time to consider different options and choose the right man. The days and months flew by and with the deaths of my mother and father, I was left alone. Most of my friends are married now; I’m still alone and my looks are fading with time. I realize too late that I’ve wasted my life setting impossible conditions for the men who wanted to marry me.”

Dr. Nkechi, a single woman in her 40s, said: “I wronged myself by going along with my mother’s decisions. My mother refused every suitor on the basis that he wasn’t worthy of us. And what made things worse was that my father was so much weaker than my mother that she had ‘the’ say in everything related to my sisters and me for more than 20 years. My sisters and I never had the courage to disagree with her or challenge her. And if the suitor was up to our standards, she would make up conditions that were impossible to fulfill. We never knew what she wanted from a prospective husband. The situation continued until we were no longer young but were still being called ‘Miss’. Now whenever anyone asks us why we are not married, we justify ourselves by saying that we are too involved with our professional lives. Our mother still dreams of a perfect husband for each of us; in her eyes, we are still ‘little girls’ even though we are all highly qualified adults.”

Temilope from Ogun state, who is 35 and still single, said: “Yes, it is not easy being an unmarried woman in our society. Girls who refuse to marry don’t do so without a reason. Very often the reason is her family’s attitude and that is the reason in my case. Today I’m 35 and I’ve been getting proposals since I was 19; my father, however, refused them all since he was influenced by my stepmother who accused every man of being a gold digger, greedy for our money and social status. At the same time, she managed to marry off her own daughters to men who were not always up to the standards she set for me. The result was that I focused on my studies since I had no other outlet. I had to dodge the queries about my being single. People pitied me and said how strange it was that with my looks, education and status that I was still unmarried. Even after I graduated and began working, suitors approached my family but all were turned away. We have reached the point where no one will ask for me since it is well-known that everybody will be refused.”

Kudirat, who is over 30, said: “My love for children surpasses everything in the world. I was so eager to get married and have a family but my mother refused every man who proposed to me or my sister. When I asked my mother why she refused them even though many came from prominent families, she answered that this was in accordance with our late father’s will that we not marry anyone outside our tribe The years passed by and our younger brothers and cousins got married while we have remained single.”

Kemi and her sister are teachers and together earn more than NGN 1,200,000. every month. They say their father refuses to let them marry because of what they earn; if they marry, he will lose access to their money. He treats every man as someone who wants only his daughter’s salary. He does not want to lose it.

Leyefa from Bayelsa, who turned 34 only recently, said: “My chances of getting married are decreasing if not already ended. In this day and age, young men are unlikely to marry a girl they’ve not seen — or at least one which their relatives have seen. After all, this is how girls get married; someone from among the man’s family or friends sees the girl and recommends her. Since I’m not allowed to leave the house or go out or work, no one will see me and so I remain unmarried. These conditions are the ones I have lived under since childhood; my mother didn’t allow me to go anywhere but school and so I didn’t make many friends. In order to have friends, you must be able to come and go and that is what I was not allowed to do. And even after I graduated, I wasn’t allowed to work. This made me ask my family what had been the point of my education and my degree if I was not to be allowed to work? They said both would be an advantage when I raised my children. I have now gone to a matchmaker in hopes that she can find a husband for me.”

Blessing, who is 37, said: “My not being married is a matter that is out of my hands; I am the firstborn in my family and we aren't rich so I cannot settle down now, I have to work to provide for them, I travel a lot, Abuja, Lagos, Kano etc. I just hve to make money!!! If I just agree to marry a man now, will he be providing feeding money for all my siblings and poor parents?

From the above explanations, I can draw my conclusion;
People differ in the age at which a woman is considered an ‘old cargo’. Much depends on the practices and ideas of the society the girl lives in. We often see today that the marriageable age is linked to the stages in finances because of the responsibilities of making a living and supporting a family. Women no longer feel that their worth or status is dependent upon their husband. Another factor in delaying marriages is the recent craze of "runs" a lady prefers to hang out with Politicians and others just to make ends meet then in the long run, no sensible man will want to approach her for a relationship talking more of marriage.

Also that it is now possible for women to having children when they want rather than getting married first, thereby earning the title "Baby Mama"!

According to latest statistics from The Federal Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development 4 in every 10 ladies aged between 26 - 39 are unmarried!
mayb they wil strt blamin witches. Old cargo's mtcheeeeeewwww.

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by eagleeyez: 10:36pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


I'm an atheist..




Please can u then tell us how u came about and ho sun moon sea soil came about? Then where u go to when u die?

Better still solve the mystery of dreams
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by ailehwise(m): 10:38pm On Apr 23, 2015
Adaezeagu:
Typing............

Am online.
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by eagleeyez: 10:38pm On Apr 23, 2015
AmakaDNB:

Oshe!


God bless u for not stooping low to his self destructive, inferior,ignorant,possessed,confused,angry,depressed state

3 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by GodMode: 10:38pm On Apr 23, 2015
$

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nobody: 10:39pm On Apr 23, 2015
Why wouldn't it be so when they keep turning down approaches from guys with good intentions?

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by koyyess: 10:39pm On Apr 23, 2015
youngalex:
Don't think Men value marriage like women,I for one am not interested in Marriage but am compelled to do it 1) For Kids 2) To fulfill family and societal expectations...So most men my age are more interested in making money than marriage
So why are folks here so concerned about single ladies? If really all dudes have your mentality, then we shouldn't be seeing threads like this(created by males especially) or unintelligent/clueless comments made by angry struggling dudes pointing accusing fingers at single ladies.

3 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nobody: 10:39pm On Apr 23, 2015
Nice reply


AmakaDNB:

Oshe!

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Dragonking: 10:42pm On Apr 23, 2015
Ihuomadinihu:
I don't take this kind of threads serious anymore. It's a big shade on the womenfolk and single sisters. I wonder how and why our society automatically blames a woman for being single. Will the woman marry herself? More single ladies mean more single men. I know many virtuous born again sisters that still unmarried. Is it a woman's fault if she is unmarried at a certain age?
The bible says,'He that finds a wife finds a good thing'. It is the responsibility of men to find wives. More single ladies mean that single men are not doing what should be done.

I believe that u are a Christian so go and read this passage Isaiah 4:1 ..you will have a better understanding why there are more single ladies...also u will understand that polygamy is the only way out or else its gonna get worse.

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Dragonking: 10:43pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


I'm an atheist..

ok
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nobody: 10:44pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


Stop saying s:hit to my one and only cococandy..


I no just know why some men dey think with there dick!!


For your jointomus mind now, you dey think say she go gain your approved by

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by AdeniyiA(m): 10:46pm On Apr 23, 2015
koyyess:

Sorry to burst your bubble but that verse was a prophecy meant for the people of jerusalem. It will never occur in africa and even if it occurs, it would take the demise of a lot of males as it occured back then in jerusalem. Did you read the surrounding verses at all? Is that what you want? Don't delude yourself and bring rains of curses on you and your male offspring.
Your comment is spiritually shallow, many men are bn 'killed' emotionally, materially nd socially by misgovernance orchestrated by the dark forces.
check out the evil in the world today, if a man is far more qualified than a lady, she'd be picked because of her sêx. Do u know that many career women are not married because no man wants to be subjugated in his home?
whether you like it or not, it'd happen nd it's happening. I can up to 5 ladies in my workplace who are unmarried
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by ailehwise(m): 10:46pm On Apr 23, 2015
bennyrazz:


Lastly, some women are the architect of their own marital woes. They are too high to maintain, nothing pleases them, it is never enough for them, they have this proud look, their taste is too high, they are very wasteful, they cannot endure circumstances, they complain & nag at the same time, they are very disrespectful, they dress like harlots etc

For this and those I cannot read, you are very correct.

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by koyyess: 10:46pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


What is marriage
Really? So you can poke holes at my own perception right? Lol. Its a sacred institution for mature men and women not selfish, clueless people who continue to bring the issue of age into it.
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by b0rn2fuck(m): 10:46pm On Apr 23, 2015
cococandy:
The more single women out there, the more single men.

I know plenty of guys that age who are still single.
Why is nobody on their case?
Abi the ladies go marry themselves?

#rolls eye.
come, make I marrry you
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Ihuomadinihu: 10:47pm On Apr 23, 2015
Dragonking:


I believe that u are a Christian so go and read this passage Isaiah 4:1 ..you will have a better understanding why there are more single ladies...also u will understand that polygamy is the only way out or else its gonna get worse.
Abeg,people are talking about monogamy relationships between a man and a woman. We don't need any polygamy stuff.
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by GodMode: 10:48pm On Apr 23, 2015
$
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by GodMode: 10:49pm On Apr 23, 2015
$

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by AdeniyiA(m): 10:50pm On Apr 23, 2015
harry509:
mayb they wil strt blamin witches. Old cargo's mtcheeeeeewwww.
So u had to quote the whole passage inorder to make this statement??
it's annoying bro angry

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nobody: 10:51pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


gringringrin I'm cococandy 's hype man..

I don learn lesson for all this online girls


Most of them ma 99.99%fake

2 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by GodMode: 10:54pm On Apr 23, 2015
$

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by koyyess: 10:55pm On Apr 23, 2015
AdeniyiA:

Your comment is spiritually shallow, many men are bn 'killed' emotionally, materially nd socially by misgovernance orchestrated by the dark forces.
check out the evil in the world today, if a man is far more qualified than a lady, she'd be picked because of her sêx. Do u know that many career women are not married because no man wants to be subjugated in his home?
whether you like it or not, it'd happen nd it's happening. I can up to 5 ladies in my workplace who are unmarried
And are they all begging you for your surname? You are the one who is spiritually shallow. If the opposite were the case, you would know exactly the kind of 'jew' women would flock around and you would also know the type of women that would do such. Do yourself a favor and read your bible well before you come here and lay curses on your entire family instead of innocent single ladies.

3 Likes

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by koyyess: 10:56pm On Apr 23, 2015
GodMode:


Lies...

Marriage is relationship prison...
I knew it. grin
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Dragonking: 10:56pm On Apr 23, 2015
Ihuomadinihu:

Abeg,people are talking about monogamy relationships between a man and a woman. We don't need any polygamy stuff.

So are u insinuating that prophet Isaiah is lying or didn't know what he was saying?
Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Nobody: 10:57pm On Apr 23, 2015
cococandy:
The more single women out there, the more single men.

I know plenty of guys that age who are still single.
Why is nobody on their case?
Abi the ladies go marry themselves?

#rolls eye.

The difference is ladies at that age are going beyond the age bracket where they can find a husband whereas men at that age have ages 18 till infinity still available for them to marry

1 Like

Re: Alarming Number Of Unmarried Ladies (28 - 39 Yrs) by Dragonking: 10:58pm On Apr 23, 2015
Viciyus:


I don learn lesson for all this online girls


Most of them ma 99.99%fake

u no know b4? many of them are liars and pretenders as long as it is a faceless forum.

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