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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / To Apologise Or Not To Apologise (3307 Views)
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To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:11pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
In relationships, there would definitely be moments of hurt. Apologising when you are wrong is one of the key ways to bring back peace and joy, another view on it talks about the matured person apologising first even if he/she is wrong or not. Even if you are not wrong, will you keep apologising over and over again while your spouse feigns or plays the victim just to restore peace? Or do you wait until the person who is wrong apologises first? Does apologising first not show you off as weak and desperate, does it reduce someone's worth? What are the reasons why we don't apologise in relationships? For me, I do both the apologising and playing the victim( not proud of it though) because I feel I may be taken for granted. Your views please |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by MRBrownJ: 1:24pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
i can only apologise if i have done something wrong and understand my mistake. there is no point in someone apologising if they dont mean it, or just to make someone feel better about themselves. saying sorry and not meaning it is pointless. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:28pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
MRBrownJ:I agree, what about if your spouse is not in the habit of apologising? |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:28pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
If you want to make things right again....you can still do that without apologizing. You don't have to butt lick your partner. I only apologize when am wrong. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:31pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
divAnnie:then you teach them that that is not how things work. You gotta lower their ego. Don't take that bullshIiiiiiiiiiiit. ..t. even if it means silent treatment play with them till they come to their senses. ![]() |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 1:32pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
Apologizing, when ur not at fault does not make u look weak, infact it a display of courage n maturity. Imagine u fighting/quarelling with someone who happens to b cause, n few mins later u walk up to the person to say sorry, u jst did one of the most diff things, cos many pple will prefer holding grugdes cos it easier to do. Always apologize even tho ur not at fault, but dont let ur partner take advantage of that 1 Like |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by izaray(f): 1:36pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
rokiatu:Seconded, cos some guys reason wit their anus instead of making use of d brain. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:38pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07:ok, so you believe apologising when you are wrong or not is ideal? So when do you know when to draw the line? |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by BluePearls(m): 1:39pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
When im wrong i apologize, thats a mature thing to do. Its stupidity when you take the blame for someone Else's crime/fault, i don't see the maturity in that. When you keep apologizing to your spouse for something he/she did you're not helping your relationship at all, rather you sending it to its early grave. Question is, how long will you keep ignoring the elephant in the room. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:46pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
rokiatu:ok, thanks |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 1:48pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
BluePearls:alright. About your question, I think I can ignore the elephant as long as it doesn't bite me or whatever it does ![]() |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by TheSonOfMark(m): 1:50pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
izaray: While MOST females are unintelligent. 1 Like |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by ronald4lif(m): 1:59pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
No one should apologise when they were wronged. Apologies should only be when you offended the person. The saying that he who apologises first even if they were wronged is mature is crap. Anyone who does so will keep repeating the cycle. One mustn't apologise to make up issues. There are other actions or steps one can take for reconciliation. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 2:04pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
divAnnie: In a rlatnship, when u notice ur d one always apologizing for his/her wrong, he keeps causing issues with d believe that u will apologise n takes pride in that. Apology in a rlatnship is jst to allow continuity n peace reign nothin else. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 2:05pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
ronald4lif:my thoughts exactly. Thanks for your contribution |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by mrkay101(m): 2:08pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
izaray: oh pls.. don't play the guys card here. most most girls do it more than the guys. even if a girl is wrong she won't apologize 70% of the time. they only time a girl will apologize is when they start to feel like the guy is no longer interested. 1 Like |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 2:08pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
How do u make up issues when both of u r not talking to each other ![]() |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Dygeasy(m): 2:12pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
Need anybody say more? The right answers have been provided already. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Dygeasy(m): 2:14pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07:From which thread did you land here Sir? |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 2:17pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
Dygeasy:GOOGLE ![]() |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 2:18pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by FLAWLES(f): 2:28pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
I apologize wen am @ fault>sometimes i apologize wen my partner s @ fault to prevent quarrels.....Its no biggy 1 Like |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by ronald4lif(m): 2:29pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07: There are many ways to reconcile an issue without saying I'm sorry. I've had a heated argument with someone which I was at fault and we stayed for 2weeks without saying hi. I just showed up at her place on weekend and knock and that was it. Of course she knew I was remorseful to have even showed up and I didn't have to say sorry. How about transferring money to her account or making an order of something as little as her favourite meal online to her address, without her consent or knowing.There are many of such moves to take but there's not so much time to narrate them. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 2:35pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
ronald4lif:nice one ronald, saying 'I'm sorry' can go a long way though |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by mcdokwe(m): 2:40pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
Sometimes we should let stuffs slide and not insist on an apology knowing fully well they won't be repeated or were intended. A lot of us show remorse in ways other than a verbal apology and that's cool. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by ronald4lif(m): 2:43pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
divAnnie: True, it goes a long way. Sometimes one can still say sorry after some days of making up. Some men's ego (and women too) limits them on how often they say sorry. This has affect me a couple of times and I'd to devise other means to making up for "I'm sorry". |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 2:50pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
ronald4lif: Nice moves, but based on wat u ve written, u did not say Im sorry with ur tongue, but u actually expressed it, u confronting her first n gettin her favorite. ur still indirectly telling her u r sorry |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by MRBrownJ: 2:51pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
divAnnie: then we have a big problem on our hands, especially if that means she always does something wrong, even though she knows it's wrong. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by ronald4lif(m): 2:55pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07: You're right to an extend. But you'll agree with me that being remorseful by actions is different from a verbal apology, which usually goes with I'm sorry. |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 3:01pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07:its just best to verbally apologise, the gifts can come later. Getting gifts over time just because you want to apologise means raising the stakes. Feels like you are 'buying' her. What do you think? |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by Nobody: 3:01pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
dulux07:That's a lie Bro!...I don't agree |
Re: To Apologise Or Not To Apologise by dulux07(m): 3:02pm On Apr 24, 2015 |
ronald4lif:I understand, it is a difficult thing to say, but less difficult to express, by so doing, u r not admitting to any wrong. Your steps r preferable. But d only fear i ve for u now is, she will continue picking up a fight, so that u can send her a favorite stuffs ![]() ![]() |
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