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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? (4361 Views)
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Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 10:27pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
This question has been lingering in my thought for a while and I have not gotten a suitable response. Girls who dares such are quick to be labelled greedy or better still golddiggers. Dr A.B.C has been my lecturer since my second year in the university and his a very intelligent and accomplished man. He told me he has an interest in me when I graduated from school, he has proposed marriage since 3 years ago but I kept saying no. He's in his late 50's very young at heart. After interacting with him I found he's got my best interest at heart and loves me genuinely. He is very keen on my development and growth. He wants me to accomplish much as a woman and take on fields and career paths where you naturally see men thrive. He travels a lot and on a visit to the school he lectures he offered to take me and a friend round the campus and even round the town showing me historical sites and even the tourist attractions. He gives me maximum attention and he's even advised me to start my masters degree and if I do well I can write a fantastic paper that can be featured in an international journal and can launch me into the world of academics. I actually forgot I feel safe and secure around him and he doesn't seem to be worried about any issues. He's calm He's caring Loving Kind and also concerned about my intellectual and psychological growth I watched Mr Ben who parked into our house last year. He's 48 years old and auntie Vivian his wife is 32. After all I see the way he truly cares for her and I haven't heard him raise his voice on her ever. So I ask should I marry an older man? Are they truly more caring? Why is the society quick to label ladies who dare it gold diggers? Will I become an outcast within family and friends? Are they more matured and handle issues better? Do they offer a sort of emotional, mental and financial security than younger men? What are the pros and cons? Do the pro outweigh the cons? Many feel ladies marry older guy for their money but is there some sort of extra satisfaction involved? I storified this cos i want it to be an interesting read. Actual names have been changed I would appreciate mature comments please and please this is not a women bashing thread. Keep your response within the subject matter. Lalasticlala Ishilove please I would like this post to grace frontpage. I really want to have diverse views of what nairalanders think on the issue. Thanks |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by jamex93(m): 10:27pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
both among the old and the young we have the good and bad ones just pray to meet the right person your soul desire now he treats you the way u want if you know that is really wat you want if u know u are rest assured in him then you are free to have him all to your self since you belive that the old men are better than the younger ones to your own thinking o |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by SeverusSnape(m): 10:33pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
I see, Does it mean you can't find a younger man who has all these mouth watering qualities this man has?...He's a widower, right?... Do you want to be an early widow, Cause going by his age... You know what I mean. But if you believe and you know you love him genuinely and vice versa, then you can go ahead. By the way, How old are you? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by sinaj(f): 10:35pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
till it grace fp. Commentu dum Reservoir 1 Like |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by jmoore(m): 10:36pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
If you want to marry, go ahead and marry. Stop subtracting. adding and dividing. 1 Like |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by zigger(m): 10:38pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Wait oo u neva marry? |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by tpiadotcom: 10:38pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
did someone say you cant marry an older man? if older men are your choice, then i dont see why you have to bring it to nairaland. just dont be jealous when you see people who made different choices than you. i must say though, there's something ghoulish about women who scout for widowers or divorcees to marry- beware of karma. |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by tayoxx(m): 10:39pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
ermmmm |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by agarawu23(m): 10:40pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
sinaj:I have never see you make relevant comment must you comment? if you have nothing good to comment ignore and let ppl comment. guess u shld use your data on 2go where u can toy around with kids like u 2 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Toks2008(m): 10:49pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
just follow your heart |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 10:50pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Who says you can't? Did you ever advise anyone not to marry whom they chose to marry? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 10:51pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Emmm... Asking if you should marry an older man is over the top. I believe that inadvertently, at a point in lady's life she might not be attracted to 'youth' but confidence, emotional/financial security , power...etc, older men come with these qualities. So, when she meets this man _ he becomes her definition of sexy. His age becomes as irrelevant as the (ueue) in queue. Which shouldn't be our business in anyway. On the part of the men, they are actually caring. These older men don't really care if the lady is in love or on some gold digging quest, unlike the youngsters that would keep whining like a broken record. All that matters to them(the older men) is that they have a beautiful/intelligent woman to call their own. They would practically do your bidding. As for the lady, you don't have to bother about getting old, he would always be older...lolz I didn't say you should marry your ancestor o, but an older man isn't a bad idea. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 10:58pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
standd: Well I see some sort of phobia around it and I have seen some older men versus younger women relationship that the Nigerian society frowns upon. What prompted me to create this thread was a conversation I had with a friend on the issue after watching George clooney and amal alamuddin's wedding. My friend said if na naija dey go say na because of money but the babe too in this case has a thriving career. I just wanted people to dissect the topic and give their views on the workability of the marriage in this much stereotyped part of the world. Thanks for dropping by |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by sinaj(f): 10:58pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
agarawu23: nigga plz add 'n' to ya see to make it 'seen' u shud bother more on English grammar nd bother less bout me 1 Like |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 10:59pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Kachisbarbie:Thanks ma'am for dissecting the topic 3 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 11:02pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
tpiadotcom:Well I gave two scenarios up there. I only wanted people to share their thoughts on the workability of this types of marriages in this part of the world |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by tpiadotcom: 11:03pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Kachisbarbie: this is rather insulting though, are you implying such older men lack sense despite being older? their only reason for marrying someone would be because of beauty and cunningness of which the former can be found in practically anybody with a makeup kit? 3 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 11:04pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
SeverusSnape:Well you can go through the thread again, read my posts and actually give your thought on the workability of these marriages. I gave two scenarios up there and I want people to relate it to this part of the world. |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by tpiadotcom: 11:05pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
remsonik: your choices are yours, you dont really need anybody's opinion for your decisions insofar as you are not violating any ethical or moral codes. live and let live. |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:05pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
remsonik: See, if you listen to all the noise that people make, you will never achieve anything worthwhile. The people who call ladies gold diggers don't even have iron talk much of gold. Have you ever heard a matured, confident and well-to-do man insult a lady? Pls, I will advice that you do whatever makes you happy. You will never do anything worthwhile if you keep listening to all the noise, I repeat. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Tashaamania(f): 11:06pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
I like the whole older men marriage but then I think there should be a limit, jeeez 50years? And you fancy him? Well ofcourse you should because he shows you all the cares and interests but doesnt mean you should marry him just to return his favour of caring about you We dont want our kids referring to their fathers as Grandpas! Asides that, I wanna be proud to walk around anywhere with my man! And ofcourse I heard far older men are.. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:07pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
tpiadotcom: Gbam!! In addition, do not let it appear like you do not have a mind of your own. Marriage is between two people and no matter what anyone says, you will always be responsible for any choice you make. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:09pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Sinaj haba u be agbaya ooooo sinaj: |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 11:09pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
tpiadotcom:Yes but this isn't about me. I am with a much younger man and my wedding is coming up soon, I only storified it and even gave two scenarios. It was just a thought running through my mind after a discussion I had with a friend. Thanks for your contributions |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:10pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Tashaamania: Lol As you can see, this is Tasha's opinion, Tasha will make her choices based on this. What of you Remsonic, will you make your choices based on what everyone feels/say/do or what you actually want. Your life, your choice! 2 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:11pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Agba ko kon ogbon Agba wa ninu omokeekere Omode wa ninu agba OP tell someone to translate it |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by sinaj(f): 11:11pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 11:13pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Tashaamania:Well thanks for your contributions I know those marriages might not be as sweet as it seems with old age advancing. |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Nobody: 11:15pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by remsonik(f): 11:15pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
olaxco2f:Well I understand what you mean perfectly. I just wanted people to discuss the topic and share useful opinions/ insights. Thanks for dropping by |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Tashaamania(f): 11:24pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
remsonik:Spot on! Trust me, older men are never as romantic as the younger guys.. I dont know about you, but I like my man with the whole swaggs, we play like kids, do fun stuffs, take funny face selfies , throw things at each other, steal each other's icecream, play PS with each other and then I try to cheat him while we play, and so on... Even in marriages, we still act like bf and gf, he calls me 'babe', I call him 'dude' Thats what I call a funfilled and romantic relationship, it gets better everyday and I love it!!! An older man can never do this, Where's the energy? They are boring.. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Can't I Marry An Older Man? by Tashaamania(f): 11:26pm On Apr 25, 2015 |
standd: |
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