bukatyne:
Nigerian society measure the headship or 'goodness' of a husband based on his pocket.

They also see the headship as a license to do as they wish aka unquestionable

A typical Nigerian husband wants to be the 'head' So his pockets has to be heavier than that of his wife.

A number of women do not want to marry a husband that is not the 'head'

Some of the women who earn higher are also very heady too

Your head is correct!
Well said.

If it was abroad, I would say no problem. But Nigeria? Common people, peer pressure won't allow the guy go out with her, family of the lady will scold him continously. He will be labeled a golddigger. To make it worse, the lady's friends will start acting mushy towards him. If you consider these factors , my dear you won't consider dating such a lady. I have seen it happen countless times and I know what those guys pass through on a daily basis. Look it's not a bad thing, but feel the Nigerian society is still not ready for that. It has never been a case of inferiority complex. It's just the picture the society paints it that scare men. And that's why we are having very pretty and successful ladies still single and aging, while the low earning girls are getting married every Saturday.

RedBenson:
Not really about possessing inferiority complex. Most atimes, such women are very rude in their manners and no man wants to be with a woman who lacks respect for her.

Even a poor girl sef can run her mouth anyhow at the slightest opportunity. That alone is enough headache then you want me to go for a super rich one again. You want to kill someone of high blood pressure. I know a friend of mine back then in school who was broke(always broke lol* and his GF offered to help him with recharge card, now after the card sent the friend used some to call friends and family members and also call the GF, the said GF complained that "shabi she's the one that sent him the credit, that he's suppose to call her more with it" now can you just imagine just because she helped him with 400 naira recharge and this happened several times always cursing quarrel. Now tell me what such girl would do if she earns way more than the guy.

I have an uncle who married a village girl,brushed her up,took her abroad and somehow he found himself doing d dishes n homechores after she started earning some income.She even demanded payment b4 he gets his conjugal rights every night.Today,they are divorced.Hav anoda aunt who her hubby took abroad too n today,they are divorced.Finally,I remember a humble but rich female colleague of mine,who refused to buy a car because she was still single n over 30. She persevered for a while,begged for lifts and used public transport till her humility paid.A man noticed it,liked her and married her.She later bought one of the most sophisticated Jeeps I have ever seen after marriage,of course with the love and consent of her hubby. what I can coin from these 3 experiences of mine is that a lot of foreign culture has corrupted our once-humble women.Only a few still keep their heads low after getting richer than their hubbies,very very few.

cococandy:
my dear you will only feel inferior if you're really inferior as a person compared to Your partner. Money or not.
So if a guy feels inferior to his woman, he's probably truly inferior.

If you're a great quality person, even the one with money will respect you willingly or unwillingly.
You will just command the respect without trying to.

It is not inferiority. A man is the head of his family, and wants respect and submission from his wife. Most women who are successful financially find it very difficult to be submissive. Its not fear or inferiority, no man wants to marry a woman who will eventually want to rule him.

selfmade22:
am intrested in dis n i have my reason

Absolutely bro. D fact is u r not ready for a successful woman unless u ooze of confidence, charm,charisma and make a decent living. From my observation, d average successful woman wants a man who can take charge and command respect from her and others alike, if d description above does not fit ur profile then trust me, Even if u ve money u would not attract classy women

Owliver:
Even a poor girl sef can run her mouth anyhow at the slightest opportunity. That alone is enough headache then you want me to go for a super rich one again. You want to kill someone of high blood pressure. I know a friend of mine back then in school who was broke(always broke lol* and his GF offered to help him with recharge card, now after the card sent the friend used some to call friends and family members and also call the GF, the said GF complained that "shabi she's the one that sent him the credit, that he's suppose to call her more with it" now can you just imagine just because she helped him with 400 naira recharge and this happened several times always cursing quarrel. Now tell me what such girl would do if she earns way more than the guy.

Gbam! You've said it all bruv. It's far much better a man earns money and control the lady with it than the other way round.

Twaci:
There was this story I heard one time, a guy saw a girl in a shopping mall and approached her. They talked...gisted was more like it and even exchanged numbers.

The guy didn't call back and refused to pick her calls later on. Why?

"She paid my bills -" he had replied.

And I asked myself, so what? But then he finished his sentence. "- it was worth N52, 500"

More to that, another thing that had got to him was the fact that the girl drove off in a sweet ride while he had hailed a taxi.

Thanks for the info Rapmoney, hope guys read and understand this.

And you think it is inferiority complex? Probably not. The guy may just be thinking 'if i marry this girl, she will not be submissive ". No man can endure being didrespected

Men oooooh answer me, Can u move into a nice mansion built by ur wife just after marriage.....

.

Jagabanthelion:
I have an uncle who married a village girl,brushed her up,took her abroad and somehow he found himself doing d dishes n homechores after she started earning some income.She even demanded payment b4 he gets his conjugal rights every night.Today,they are divorced.Hav anoda aunt who her hubby took abroad too n today,they are divorced. Finally,I remember a humble but rich female colleague of mine,who refused to buy a car because she was still single n over 30. She persevered for a while,begged for lifts and used public transport till her humility paid.A man noticed it,liked her and married her.She later bought one of the most sophisticated Jeeps I have ever seen after marriage,of course with the love and consent of her hubby. what I can coin from these 3 experiences of mine is that a lot of foreign culture has corrupted our once-humble women.Only a few still keep their heads low after getting richer than their hubbies,very very few.

I hope the OP and other soldiers of his are seeing these. If they like let them shout inferiority complex no one bloody cares. Naija girls are too not cool. You will see a broke girl calling a broke guy "broke"(you will even see such in romance section)... Imagine what she'll do if she was rich. And some rapmonkey is talking trash.

cococandy:
my dear you will only feel inferior if you're really inferior as a person compared to Your partner. Money or not.
So if a guy feels inferior to his woman, he's probably truly inferior.

If you're a great quality person, even the one with money will respect you willingly or unwillingly.
You will just command the respect without trying to.

compare nd research every man u know nd ask them will they move into a mansion built by a newly wedded wife?

RedBenson:


Gbam! You've said it all bruv. It's far much better a man earns money and control the lady with it than the other way round.

you see those "feminist ladies" rallying around the OP. They are up to no good. Most of them don't live here in naija and they spew out ridiculous advises which contradicts the real situation on ground here in naija. I don't just like it. Girls don show me pepper so I know what am saying. I wouldn't want to marry a poor uneducated girl but marrying a rich girl(who has no respect) would worsen the situation. An average Naija girl's attitude is just to dangerous when topped with riches. I can't relate

Mehn I,need a humble girl plz no matter how much she,s got in her account I,m in charge,,I,m not a control freak though,hehe no woman is complete without a man,

I think I love the other guys to be like me. One of my rules and conditions for marrying a lady is, She MUST NOT BE DEPENDENT. I can't be there working all alone to make ends meet. She MUST have something doing o. So I don't care if she is financially buoyant than myself.

cococandy:
So it's all about head huh?

Yes oooo, its all about ''head'' dear [color=]

cococandy:
So it's all about HEAD huh?

Yes oooo, its all about ''HEAD'' dear [/color]

cococandy:
So it's all about head huh?

Yes oooo, its all about ''HEAD'' dear

Twaci:
There was this story I heard one time, a guy saw a girl in a shopping mall and approached her. They talked...gisted was more like it and even exchanged numbers.

The guy didn't call back and refused to pick her calls later on. Why?

"She paid my bills -" he had replied.

And I asked myself, so what? But then he finished his sentence. "- it was worth N52, 500"

More to that, another thing that had got to him was the fact that the girl drove off in a sweet ride while he had hailed a taxi.

Thanks for the info Rapmoney, hope guys read and understand this.

You are free to draw your own conclusion. But the truth is you fo not know the guys intention. I have dated a girl who is very rich. Her father was a politician, she was a successful doctor. I never felt inferior, even if i was a fresh graduate with no job. I even drive her car sometimes. She was more than ready to sponsor our wedding too. But i had to end the relationship at a point. Why? She forgot that she is a woman, and that her man is supose to be in control of the family. She is never open to suggestion, and she tries to give me instructions! Even my parents warned me. Did i break up with her because i felt inferior? Far from it. She was just not wife material, and her money made her so. So my dear, the truth is that for most wome, as ttheir social status grows, so does their ego. If a man percieves that your ego has grown to the point were you cannot becontained, he will walk away. A man would not marry a woman who he cannot control period!

cyprus000:
[size=15pt]

I will never feel intimidated by her wealth,cos I control my lyf and will take full responsiblilty of my home,without any help. [/size]

And this is one thing guys should learn

I want my wife to be successful...but she should learn to be humble along with the success...that is all...

Tallesty1:
Married? I think No?

Dated an independent woman? I guess NO too and yet you are talking?

Isn't experience the best teacher?

Do you think wife and girlfriend are thesame thing?

Do you have friends that are married to richer women? Have you visited them at home to see how they are being treated?

FYI, Nigeria men are not scared of successful women rather they are scared of control freaks. The type of woman that only feels good about herself if she makes you feel less than her. These are the women that my brothers are scared of.

I have said this before and I will say it again, every man prays for his wife to be successful too. That's why most Igbo men I know open shops for wives once they marry them so that they will start hustling. Are you saying that they open shops for these women and then turn around to pray against their success?

You amaze me op.

Most men insist that their wife must be a graduate, why?

Don't just jump from nowhere and start writing stuffs just to get likes without researching your topic properly. Sha, you have given some half-baked-feminist on here something to talk about but who cares?

NOW LISTEN.

Picture a woman who has personality disorder, someone who automatically become enraged or sullen and withdrawn if she doesn’t get her way. Someone who needles you endlessly until you capitulate, someone whose mood becomes buoyant as she cuts you down. Someone who makes you feel useless, disoriented and helpless.

Then picture where this woman is richer than her husband.

What Do You See?

LISTEN AGAIN.

There are things one needs to succeed in business and work. These things are direct opposite of what we need to have successful marriage and most of these successful women do not know where to cut the line.

To succeed in business, you have to be stubborn, in control etc. Bring these things into your marriage and you are fuked. Some successful women would rather blow the house up and everything in it than compromise or take personal responsibility. Who Wants This?

Women Naturally want to exert control over everything. They enjoy to make those around them feel inadequate, insecure, nervous, angry, anxious and physically sick.

Go to married men that have richer wives and ask them, they will tell you that the message their women pass in everything they do is I don’t trust you to be able to do it right; I don’t respect your judgment; I don’t think you are competent; I don’t value your insight. I can do it all alone

Money brings out the demon in everybody and most women do not know how to control this demon yet.

I Have A Feeling That You Are Eyeing A Rich Sister.

To sum up ur post, we should get married to poor women that we can order around abi?

IzonOwei:
I want my wife to be successful...but she should learn to be humble along with the success...that is all...

Well spoken!

theplanmaker:




You are free to draw your own conclusion. But the truth is you fo not know the guys intention. I have dated a girl who is very rich. Her father was a politician, she was a successful doctor. I never felt inferior, even if i was a fresh graduate with no job. I even drive her car sometimes. She was more than ready to sponsor our wedding too. But i had to end the relationship at a point. Why? She forgot that she is a woman, and that her man is supose to be in control of the family. She is never open to suggestion, and she tries to give me instructions! Even my parents warned me. Did i break up with her because i felt inferior? Far from it. She was just not wife material, and her money made her so. So my dear, the truth is that for most wome, as ttheir social status grows, so does their ego. If a man percieves that your ego has grown to the point were you cannot becontained, he will walk away. A man would not marry a woman who he cannot control period!

you did great man. Keep the points rolling in. Let's shame that azz licking OP. What they fail to understand is that there must be A head of a family and by nature and by God's approval it is the right of a man. The bible also says we should respect the wife as a partner. Any lady who faults this laws is insane. #MyOpinion

bukatyne:


Absolutely!

Their reasons might be:

She will be heady
She will be uncontrollable
He will not have a say
Etc. Etc.

All back to 'headship'

My dear it's not about her pocket or the headship

When a man knows how to treat a woman ...No matter how reach she is ..She will play her role as the woman ..tho few exceptions

benuejosh:
I think I love the other guys to be like me. One of my rules and conditions for marrying a lady is, She MUST NOT BE DEPENDENT. I can't be there working all alone to make ends meet. She MUST have something doing o. So I don't care if she is financially buoyant than myself.

Right man! This is the same reason some men have ended marrying parasites because they want someone they can control easily!

bukatyne:


Absolutely!

Their reasons might be:

She will be heady
She will be uncontrollable
He will not have a say
Etc. Etc.

All back to 'headship'

and what's wrong with headship? Who says headship is about being a "control freak"? In every institution there must be a head? Like it or not. Just like you have you president, manager, governor, name them? Are you a xstian? If so then your bible gives room for such, same bible also says we should honor and respect our wives. oh I guess you want " total equality" abi? Ohyh tell me about how you toasted your husband, and also tell me how you knelt down to propose? Tell me how you showered him with gifts and flowers!!! Are you in Nigeria?

Rapmoney:
Right man! This is the same reason some men have ended marrying parasites because they want someone they can control easily!

you know some prefer to eat and drive cars than to live as a man and be in peace. I prefer peace

bukatyne:
Nigerian society measure the headship or 'goodness' of a husband based on his pocket.

They also see the headship as a license to do as they wish aka unquestionable

A typical Nigerian husband wants to be the 'head' So his pockets has to be heavier than that of his wife.

A number of women do not want to marry a husband that is not the 'head'

Some of the women who earn higher are also very heady too

h


you just nailed it...

My mother's type is very scarce, successful career woman, despite her busy schedule , she still used to find time to cook very delicious soup. And when my dad stopped being the breadwinner for a while, she supported the house very well. In today's society, such women are very rare.

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Having fun with some comments here

Rapmoney:
So why do men in other climes not having same thinking if it is not a false trashy societal belief held by Nigerian men?

Stop being judgemental. It's part of an average man to want to provide for his wife and the African culture only made it traditionally conspicuous because almost all the responsibilities fall on the man.

In the west, the responsibilities are shared between the couples which remove pressure on the men unlike in Africa or Nigerai where the man has to do all the spending even when the woman has her own money. It's not really about inferiority complex but the feeling of damnation as regards not being able to perform his roles as dictated by African settings.

PS- if you want to know how it feels, stop working and let your wife takes all the responsibilities. Come back and tell us who's the boss.