M.

level10:
I have been dating this girl for 2years.We have had our wonderful times together.But my problem is that my gf is too full of herself. She behaves like one special human being.She feels I can't do without her . She even told me recently that if I'm tired of the relationship, I should let her know.its a free world..
We don't communicate well.she has mood swings too often.i dont know what to do..help me please. Is this the way love is

This one is strong. Respect yourself to know when things ain't going the way you want them. She obviously doesn't respect you. I know how much you love her but it's better to be alone than deal with these problems. She feels too proud and pompous like you said. Am quite sure she feels she's only doing you a favor by dating you. A lady who truly loves and respects you wouldn't say such things. Try to calm her down and talk to her. Check for subtle signs of anything out of the ordinary. If you feel you can't handle it anymore, it's better you dump her and move on with your life. It's very hard to come with a pompous lady. Just know that. Good luck.

symbian123:



This one is strong. Respect yourself to know when things ain't going the way you want them. She obviously doesn't respect you. I know how much you love her but it's better to be alone than deal with these problems. She feels too proud and pompous like you said. Am quite sure she feels she's only doing you a favor by dating you. A lady who truly loves and respects you wouldn't say such things. Try to calm her down and talk to her. Check for subtle signs of anything out of the ordinary. If you feel you can't handle it anymore, it's better you dump her and move on with your life. It's very hard to come with a pompous lady. Just know that. Good luck.

sometimes it's just so difficult to leave.the feeling of starting a fresh . The feeling of not having her in my life..The feeling of a wasted investment of time . I really want out..but when I think of all these and something pops in my head that *nobody is perfect*...

adanduka:
MOVE ON SHE'LL END UP MAKING YOUR LIFE MISERABLE

miserable and stock is how i feel now bro..the fear of starting over..

level10:



sometimes it's just so difficult to leave.the feeling of starting a fresh . The feeling of not having her in my life..The feeling of a wasted investment of time . I really want out..but when I think of all these and something pops in my head that *nobody is perfect*...

Snap out of it, bro!

You're setting yourself up for emotional abuse.
If you value yourself, never be in a relationship with someone who's acting like they are doing you a favor by being with you.

level10:



sometimes it's just so difficult to leave.the feeling of starting a fresh . The feeling of not having her in my life..The feeling of a wasted investment of time . I really want out..but when I think of all these and something pops in my head that *nobody is perfect*...

That's true but nobody being perfect doesn't mean they should treat you like shyt.
There's no human being without a fault (temperamental, wasteful, sloppy, etc) so while you make efforts to accommodate each other's short-comings, always draw a line at the point where you're made to feel like you're worthless and being with you is an act of charity from them.

cococandy:
You're setting yourself up for emotional abuse.
If you value yourself, never be in a relationship with someone who's acting like they are doing you a favor by being with you.

thanks for your contribution, I appreciate....please, I need you answer on this second question. from a lady's point of view.

I called her yesterday and her line was on *call waiting for about 10mins..I asked her who she was on phone with..she said it's a friend. ..so, today I went tru her phone and saw a particular guy's number...he calls her like 3times a week...(long calls).....

question

1) is it a norm, that a girl receives long calls from other guys when she claims to have a bf..

2) do u think I have anything to worry about.

I can't sincerely answer that.
Maybe she's seeing him, maybe she's not at the moment. Maybe he's still wooing her and she's considering dating him. I don't know without any FACTS.

But I must tell you that you should not be checking her phone. That's her privacy.
Quit it.

I do think you've something to worry about and it is not another guy(because you can't prove it yet).
What you have to worry about is that you find her full of herself and treats you with contempt.
So even if there's no other guy in the picture and she's all for you, that attitude is not something you should swallow especially if you intend to settle with her.
She may wreck your self esteem if you let her.

Have you tried to talk to her about it?

level10:




thanks for your contribution, I appreciate....please, I need you answer on this second question. from a lady's point of view.

I called her yesterday and her line was on *call waiting for about 10mins..I asked her who she was on phone with..she said it's a friend. ..so, today I went tru her phone and saw a particular guy's number...he calls her like 3times a week...(long calls).....

question

1) is it a norm, that a girl receives long calls from other guys when she claims to have a bf..

2) do u think I have anything to worry about.

cococandy:
I can't sincerely answer that.
Maybe she's seeing him, maybe she's not at the moment. Maybe he's still wooing her and she's considering dating him. I don't know without any FACTS.

But I must tell you that you should not be checking her phone. That's her privacy.
Quit it.

I do think you've something to worry about and it is not another guy(because you can't prove it yet).
What you have to worry about is that you find her full of herself and treats you with contempt.
So even if there's no other guy in the picture and she's all for you, that attitude is not something you should swallow especially if you intend to settle with her.
She may wreck your self esteem if you let her.

Have you tried to talk to her about it?

thanks again..I would stop going tru her phone..

I haven't talked about it on serious terms with her..I am trying to avoid being tagged as *needy*..You know dats one easy way some ladies trivialise issues..how do I go about it.

level10:


thanks again..I would stop going tru her phone..

I haven't talked about it on serious terms with her..I am trying to avoid being tagged as *needy*..You know dats one easy way some ladies trivialise issues..how do I go about it.

there's no science to it. Just pull a straight face and tell her you deserve better.
If she insists on her stance that you're free to check elsewhere, by all means check elsewhere.

It may only take her being left by you and being treated like shyt by someone else to realize what she's lost.

level10:




thanks for your contribution, I appreciate....please, I need you answer on this second question. from a lady's point of view.

I called her yesterday and her line was on *call waiting for about 10mins..I asked her who she was on phone with..she said it's a friend. ..so, today I went tru her phone and saw a particular guy's number...he calls her like 3times a week...(long calls).....

question

1) is it a norm, that a girl receives long calls from other guys when she claims to have a bf..

2) do u think I have anything to worry about.

I really don't know what you want to hear o. Is it that your scared of facing the truth or what. Are you a MAN or a boy If you are a boy then stay in the relationship BUT if you are a MAN then please ACT like one and make things right.

Try talk to her again and again. She can still change for good. I pray all things work out for good.

Please check my signature too. Thanks.

we talked at length today . She said she was sorry for everything . But added that I have become insensitive to her over time. .that i made her feel useless when she told me about her sex life with her ex...she attributed it to the reason why she told me *to quit the relationship if I am tired*..
(I never made her feel useless, I only expressed some surprise,)

after listening to all she said, I apologised too and told her that we need some time apart. .it was like a big shock though..but I think that's a step in the right direction.


cc. coccandy
mavany
taryour

level10:

we talked at length today . She said she was sorry for everything . But added that I have become insensitive to her over time. .that i made her feel useless when she told me about her sex life with her ex...she attributed it to the reason why she told me *to quit the relationship if I am tired*..
(I never made her feel useless, I only expressed some surprise,)
after listening to all she said, I apologised too and told her that we need some time apart. .it was like a big shock though..but I think that's a step in the right direction.
cc. coccandy
mavany
taryour

Hmm, it seems like a step in the right direction. It looks like you recently than 2years ago got to know about her past sex life. Guys usually dont handle this bit well more especially if your sex slate is clean. Going by what i know from experience, you unknowingly treated her as she complained. Look back at all the things that your heart conceived when she told you, they expressed themselves to her without your permission. Not making excuse for her, may be it created a void that led her to considering that other guy... With breaks like this, there maybe emotions and words that pride may not allow expressions so that parties involued only get to suffer for nothing, realise too late. You are already missing her. Be sensitive, if you notice green lights from her, step forward a little to be sure she is trully remorseful and ready to amend, even at this dont rush it, give the break a considerabe 3 to 4 weeks atleast. You too be carefull with your words and actions regarding her past, you have no guarantee you will find a good girl with a clean sex slate, so atleast dont dish a good girl if she is one.

op pls run for ur sanity. Right now she is confused and doesnt know what she wants. she will destroy ur happiness and confidence talking from experience

Floodgater:
Hmm, it seems like a step in the right direction. It looks like you recently than 2years ago got to know about her past sex life. Guys usually dont handle this bit well more especially if your sex slate is clean. Going by what i know from experience, you unknowingly treated her as she complained. Look back at all the things that your heart conceived when she told you, they expressed themselves to her without your permission. Not making excuse for her, may be it created a void that led her to considering that other guy... With breaks like this, there maybe emotions and words that pride may not allow expressions so that parties involued only get to suffer for nothing, realise too late. You are already missing her. Be sensitive, if you notice green lights from her, step forward a little to be sure she is trully remorseful and ready to amend, even at this dont rush it, give the break a considerabe 3 to 4 weeks atleast. You too be carefull with your words and actions regarding her past, you have no guarantee you will find a good girl with a clean sex slate, so atleast dont dish a good girl if she is one.

thanks for your response. .it was deep though. ..seemed more like you where in my mind when she told me about her past...thanks once again. ..I would heed to your advice.

you'v got great advices sir,but i dnt subscribe to the one about not checking her fone,there should be nothing private between you two as you have dated for 2years,it means when u married you cant even hold the fone/play with it.if none of you have ad any issues checking each other's fone,pls dnt stop now unless its d way u want it in marriage,God forbid that i cnt play/SEARCH my hubby's fone to c if any sisi has bin oogling him

. . . .And you think the next woman will be better?
All you can do is IGNORE HER. . . and LEAD BY EXAMPLE WITH LOVE AND PATIENCE!
Nothing comes easy.

Either you work with her IMMATURITY. . . till she learns about HUMILITY, or get out of the relationship BEFORE YOU SIGN on the DOTTED LINE OF DOOM!