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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating (1141 Views)
My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce / My Husband Wants Divorce After Taking My Late Husband’s Possessions – Wife / Man Seeks Divorce After Accusing Wife Of Pulling His Manhood & Theft (2) (3) (4)
Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by cutieberie1(f): 9:35pm On May 10, 2015 |
It is a common knowledge that the rates of marriages and divorces in the country are rising. While marriage is a beautiful thing, divorce is not; that I why I do not wish for it for anybody. I am not an advocate of divorce; however, there are certain circumstances such as abuse (yes, I call cheating an emotional abuse), that may force one to think about it. Considering a divorce does not necessarily mean getting one; it depends on the situation which I decided to break down. Now being some sort of a geek that I am, I used the 3 ‘W’ and the ‘how’ questions to analyse the conditions. Of course this is merely a hypothetical situation and if one were to be in a real one, other thoughts might come into play including the time left to make a decision. Some of you may or may not agree with my reasoning but here they are anyway: WHO? – The question here is who did he/she cheat on me with? To some this might not be very important but it matters a lot to me as it can help me determine the next steps. Personally, it’s harder to work things out if the ‘culprit’ was a relative, friend, sex worker or someone of my opposite gender (what’s the point if I can’t give you what you need?). It might be easier to get over a secretary affair; all we need to do is to avoid ever having that gender of secretary again; or over a church member, we are changing church the next Sunday but the aforementioned earlier are harder to get rid of, especially from my memory. WHERE? – Where did you meet your ‘partner in crime’? Where did you do your evil act? Where were you caught? These questions are concerned about the places where the cheating event took place. I am quite a conservative person and so it is completely defying to cheat on my matrimonial bed. I would not say that it is unforgivable but it will be very difficult for me to forgive. Also where you both met might determine how to avoid future mistakes if I eventually decided to remain in the marriage; for instance if you met in PH, we might move to a secret part of Abuja (hopefully we don’t get stalked). WHY? – Why did you do it? I don’t think there is a good reason for cheating whatsoever but we are all humans and capable of mistakes so I guess my real question here is: Why did you not say NO? HOW? – This question has to do with the evaluation of everything. How many times did you do it? Again, this monitors the frequency of events; a one night stand might be less unacceptable. How many children do I have for you, if any? We all know that it is much more difficult to leave when you have children and not just because of financial reasons but for their emotional development. I have not attached any weighting to each question or the answers (and I hope that I never need to) but obviously if most of the answers do not seem favourable, the marriage might not go very well. At the end of the day, regardless of answers, everything depends on whether I really want to remain in the marriage and if the feeling is mutual.Before I conclude, I must warn you that I am no marriage counsellor or shrink and these are solely personal thoughts that I have shared. You may use them if you wish to but completely at your own risk. cc:royalroy,lalasticlala
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Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by Twaci(f): 10:26pm On May 10, 2015 |
Nice one dear! |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by KanwuliaJara: 10:46pm On May 10, 2015 |
To whom it may KONSINE! |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by kinglekan: 11:19pm On May 10, 2015 |
Cutieberie1 you need to arrange your post well and give paragraphs to make it catchy and a easy read. I went through it though and I must say that this really wouldn't apply much in reality. Reason being that, one would be too emotionally broken to start asking questions like a lawyer or a crime scene investigator. The major question would be who and why? Not opting for a divorce would depend on certain things like forgiveness, love, absolute remorse and a sincere apology by the partner who cheated, commitment by the partner who was cheated on to make things work and move past it, etc. |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by Opiosko: 11:28pm On May 10, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara: |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by GANJAFARMER: 11:30pm On May 10, 2015 |
If my wife cheat on me ,I go just open cry on top that toto, die put. |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by Opiosko: 11:31pm On May 10, 2015 |
Sound like Gitmo interogation manual. |
Re: Factors That May Influence The Decision To Divorce-after Cheating by cutieberie1(f): 7:41am On May 11, 2015 |
kinglekan: ok...tnks 1 Like 1 Share |
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