babyosisi:


You are right to a large extent
Marriage is good who wouldn't want a man to love and be loved
It feels good to know that there is a man that has my back and will lay down his life for me and the kids,that will work long and hard to keep a roof over our heads.
I like the security marriage brings and the companionship too and the family unit it creates
Marriage is honorable,I hope to be married to this same man till death do us part
It is so important that the bible likens the relationship of Christ to the church to a marriage between a man and a woman
I advocate marriage and respect the marriage institution between one man and one woman which is my definition of marriage
However,I don't believe that one has to be married and stay married at all costs
That is where my idea of marriage differs from that of many Nigerians.I don't subscribe to that philosophy

The Christ you mentioned, what about his opinion on the bold?

Has Christ ever abandoned his church despite the church's incessant misbehaviour?

Don't be selective dear.

centjamie:


I see.

But don't you think it's a wide spread epidemic? It rains every where bro.i advise you hold any good woman any where you find her, be it Ghana,Nigeria,Us......anywhere.

I can tell you categorically that it is an endemic issue peculiar with many Nigerian ladies and it boils down to the economy factor.

Trust me, no matter how cute you are or how caring you can be,a typical Nigerian lady will prefer a wealthy jerk to a broke decent guy and i am talking from years of experience.

It is in Nigeria that you wil see a lady juxtaposing her being with a man with the type of job or business he does.
Tell a Nigerian lady you are a bar tender and you would like to date her and see her response but outside Nigeria, these ladies will hardly ask you "what you do for a living"

In Benin rep or Togo, a marriage can be organized with as little as 50k and these ladies are young,decent,humble and as hot as you can think with zero affinity for money and honestly i can continue to enumerate the decadence with most Nigerian ladies who can not weather a storm with their men but would love to experience bliss all through and those who ever agrees to date you when you have nothing does so only with hope that you make it big soonest and many will not hesitate to leave you if they do not see improvements as at when they expect.

Yes there are some Nigerian ladies who give no damn about guys money but i hope i find those.

yinkeys:
But I really want to ask you 1 question. A problem that never gets solved for more than 20years because 1 party just simply refuses to listen. Isn't it better to walk away rather than risk your life. Especially when the person unknowingly once poisoned your food & you were in a state of coma for days

In relationship, you make sacrifices but you don't sacrifice yourself especially when the other person is being unreasonable and just out to harm you. If there is an obvious threat to life (as in this case), it is not advisable to continue such a relationship. No one keeps his hands on a burning coal for long. It is normal human survival instinct.

It takes two to make a relationship work after all.

To prevent or minimize the chances of falling into a situation like this, people who are not yet married should be careful in choosing their partners and they should learn to love with their heart while not forgetting their head.
Love can blind someone from properly assessing the danger that a particular character in their partner poses to them on the long run. Many persons see certain bad behaviours that they may not be able to live with in their partner, but because they are blinded by love, they tell themselves that it doesn't matter or that the person will change. They are often wrong.

Because they got married for the right reasons then. Now, publicity and materialism and misplaced priorities are taking sway. From the time the guy proposes it is on bbm, fb, instagram, twitter, flicker, you tube, bella naija, nairaland, linda ikeji, etc, then the pressure mounts.

They get married and realise the realities of marriage are different from all the silverbird romance they were doing before. Many people hardly took time out to learn the ropes and study the basics and just got married, then later on in life...wahala.

Also the prevalence of babes who do not want to start up with a guy is one of the problems. In the past, our folks would say we could not afford to pay the first rent or we didnt have anything, we did this together, then they grew into wealth together. Now, if the guy yam never done, babe nor go follow am. Hardly do they want to start, they want to enter ready made life. There is more to life than that. When or if he ever hits tough times many wives find it hard to cope.

precisionindepth:
the olden daz marriages produced the modern days husbands and wives..what went wrong?

The modern day husband and wives decide to eat the forbidden fruit

TS2:
Because they got married for the right reasons then. Now, publicity and materialism and misplace priorities are taking sway. From the time the guy proposes it is on bbm, fb, instagram, twitter, flicker, you tube, bella naija, nairaland, linda ikeji, etc, then the pressure mounts.

They get married and realise the realities of marriage are different from all the silverbird romance they were doing before. Many people hardly took time out to learn the ropes and study the basics and just got married, then later on in life...wahala.

Also the prevalence of babes who do not want to start up with a guy is one of the problems. In the past, our folks would say we could afford to pay the first rent or we didnt have anything, we did this together, then they grew into wealth together. Now, if the guy yam never done, babe nor go follow am. Hardly do they want to start, they want to enter ready made life. There is more to life than that. When or if he ever hits tough times many wives find it hard to cope.

I am happy im not the only one with this mindset.

brownlord:


The modern day husband and wives decide to eat the forbidden fruit

if so, wats d threads on " can u b in a 2 years no sex relationship? non virgins r more experienced Dan virgins thread ? will u do sampling b4 marriage thread? and so on

precisionindepth:
if so, wats d threads on " can u b in a 2 years no sex relationship? non virgins r more experienced Dan virgins thread ? will u do sampling b4 marriage thread? and so on

You can start one.

precisionindepth:
if so, wats d threads on " can u b in a 2 years no sex relationship? non virgins r more experienced Dan virgins thread ? will u do sampling b4 marriage thread? and so on

Why is this about sex?

And yes, i can if the girl is worth it and a virgin.

precisionindepth:
hummmm, I really disagree. men tend to feel wat some women want most is money but men believe women shd b deir slaves as if marriage is a master- slave relationship

As a woman,when you marry for the wrong reasons, you will end up being treated as a slave.you hardly see an independent woman being treated as a slave by her husband,why is it so?
Today's relationship only revolve around money and materials.women of nowadays only accept men with heavy pockets neglecting the most important qualities which are necessary for a successful relationship/marriage.

Women should stop seeing getting married to rich men as an escape route from financial crisis.they should strife to earn there own money so as to earn respect from their men.

tpiadotcom:


why did the olden days scam last longer and better than the modern day ones?

Ask them

vfactor:
Cos modern day people too get sense! And too much sense....hmmmm....well the end justifies whether too much sense is a good thing or not!

You are not far from the truth. The main reason is women in the past were pretty much properties to be owned. It was no different than owning a slave. Communication was not key. Of course in that kind of scenario the marriage would last forever. Since the woman was bound to the man, willingly or otherwise. Since the advent of women rights, women have become more independent and very willful. The average Nigerian man, who is intellectually docile, finds it difficult to subjugate or communicate without using force. The economy does not help either. The husband is supposed to be the traditional bread winner, but that role has diminished considerably over time. In summary; times have changed and the inability of the male/female species to change with it is the root cause divorces.

Because modern women realize that they are human just like men and demand to be treated as such, which some men still don't agree with, as is evident on this thread.

CIVILIZATION!!!

Toks2008:


So you are so gullible to believe guys that said they don't want virgins? in as much as we know virgins are rare to find but trust me, no sane guy will give up a virgin for a thoroughly battered p*nny.

Why do ladies have so much attachment to the guy that first broke them? Show me one man that will divorce a wife he disvirgined except for an extremely serious case.

I was the man who made my wife a woman and trust me, this is a big plus because despite her shortcomings and immaturity,i still have this respect for her and while many ladies may not believe this, no matter how sweet your hubby may present you, there is this maximum respect a lady gets if she marries the man that made her a woman and this is why the Bible recommends bride price on only virgins.

If i will ever have to remarry, i am not looking for a virgin not because i don't want it but because its like trying to pick a diamond from the floor.

If you are a lady and a virgin reading this, just try and preserve it fore your hubby and watch if he will not respect you to the highest limits.

Ladies should get this straight, men will tell you plenty rubbish just to have a taste of your goody bag and even me as a mare mortal despite my spiritual inclination might take advantage of a virgin girl even if i have no vivid plans for her so it boils down to you as a lady to wise up.

If you are not a virgin,no wahala, a man will still love you and respect you but there is a big plus in you marrying the man who made you a woman and this is an unequivocal fact.

...The fact that you had a bad marriage which you say was caused by your ex does not mean you should heap all the blame on todays failed marriages on women...there are countless marriages which failed because the man was essentially a monster,or do you doubt that?...The fact the women are not here crying daily does not mean they do not exist.


....and please virginity in females does not guarantee a happy marriage.There are millions of happily married women who were not virgins when they got married but they are doing just fine.While some virgin bride are even divorced as we speak..Marriage entails so much more than an intact hynen to make it work as i am very sure you know,cos your ex whom you deflowered wouldnt have been an ex if it was all about an intact hymen would it?..i rest my case.

Very simple....... Dos days pple get married 4 love but naw na ur pocket go decide if u go marry or not!!

centjamie:


As a woman,when you marry for the wrong reasons, you will end up being treated as a slave.you hardly see an independent woman being treated as a slave by her husband,why is it so?
Today's relationship only revolve around money and materials.women of nowadays only accept men with heavy pockets neglecting the most important qualities which are necessary for a successful relationship/marriage.

Women should stop seeing getting married to rich men as an escape route from financial crisis.they should strife to earn there own money so as to earn respect from their men.

wen u talk abt D's side of life, also tk d pain to talk abt d other side. let's take all form bias out and tackle and real issue.
men too marry for very wrong reasons. until we all.... BT sexes...look deep and marry our partner cos we respect and understand, then can things b a little normal...let all take D's issue of love out and choose to marry one we can respect and treat like a queen and king respectively

RickRichards:
Because Romancelanders have complicated everything with: 10 Reasons Why Married Men Fart; 0.5 Ways of Telling if Your Wife is Your Wife; 20 Types of Conversations Married Couples Should Avoid While Watching a Plasma but not LCD TV in 3D and not 4K.
You get my point now? Phew!!!

Bobo u funny no b lie.... Na NLanders use style spoil everything abi

Toks2008:


You can start one.

I was referring to some of those threads to a person who quote wat I wrote.

Bollinger:


You are not far from the truth. The main reason is women in the past were pretty much properties to be owned. It was no different than owning a slave. Communication was not key. Of course in that kind of scenario the marriage would last forever. Since the woman was bound to the man, willingly or otherwise. Since the advent of women rights, women have become more independent and very willful. The average Nigerian man, who is intellectually docile, finds it difficult to subjugate or communicate without using force. The economy does not help either. The husband is supposed to be the traditional bread winner, but that role has diminished considerably over time. In summary; times have changed and the inability of the male/female species to change with it is the root cause divorces.

Times have changed, but basic human needs such as love and mutual respect are still the same through generations. The problem with marriage today is that couples have become more selfish. Women go into marriage with the hope of "showing" the man, if he tries it. I wonder if the husband is a partner or a rival. Men marry with a mindset that they re in it to prove that they are men, and would do anything they think its necessary to prove it, including harsh words , beating and cheating. I wonder if one needs to marry to prove he is a man. Whatever happened to marrying for partnership and companionship!

People no longer see their marriage mates as partners but rivals. They don't ask what they will bring to the marriage, rather what they can get out of it (be it financial security, prestige or even children). There is no longer a sense of commitment, that will to make it work. Prior to this time, people were more committed. They didn't date much, but entered marriage with the notion that they will accept whatever comes, except an abomination. Though there were men who were harsh, the women just took it that that's how all men are. Women still nagged back then, but the men just accepted and ignored it.

So my brother, people feel they know many things. While having knowledge is a good thing, there is a kind of pride that sets in if not checked. And I am afraid that pride and selfishness has taken over.

In the olden days, men did not kneel to beg a woman to marry them with a diamond ring in their hands, in public.

That alone gives women the unnecessary 'Pride' which they refer to as being "romantic". Iffa hear!

Until you hear from your wife..."I never bargained for this, after all you were the one that knelt down in public and asked me to marry you".

Stories that hurt.

Toks2008:


I can tell you categorically that it is an endemic issue peculiar with many Nigerian ladies and it boils down to the economy factor.

Trust me, no matter how cute you are or how caring you can be,a typical Nigerian lady will prefer a wealthy jerk to a broke decent guy and i am talking from years of experience.


It is in Nigeria that you wil see a lady juxtaposing her being with a man with the type of job or business he does.
Tell a Nigerian lady you are a bar tender and you would like to date her and see her response but outside Nigeria, these ladies will hardly ask you "what you do for a living"

In Benin rep or Togo, a marriage can be organized with as little as 50k and these ladies are young,decent,humble and as hot as you can think with zero affinity for money and honestly i can continue to enumerate the decadence with most Nigerian ladies who can not weather a storm with their men but would love to experience bliss all through and those who ever agrees to date you when you have nothing does so only with hope that you make it big soonest and many will not hesitate to leave you if they do not see improvements as at when they expect.

Yes there are some Nigerian ladies who give no damn about guys money but i hope i find those.

Oh! Really?

I never knew.very well then.
I wish you luck.

In simple terms, the recent marriages have expiring date owing to some factors responsible...most importantly, no fear of God and parent any longer. Besides, our girls are to smart for themselves, wants to copy from one another, and most of our guys are just too solomoic in nature.

adexsimply:
LOL..Keep deceiving yourself. Most of those marriages lack love. The wives are mostly in bondage, they just avoid divorces because of societal ridicules and shame...

this is the answer and nothing else comes close. if you cud go back in tym and give the same options to the olden day woman...you know, be a career woman, date after divorce etc without ridicule....it'll even be worse den cos men those tyms were equal to slave masters.

no movies then....now we want to live like wat we see in movie

i see it as... the olden days marriage put more effort in building their Marriage than their Wedding but nowadays people put more effort in their Wedding than their Marriage.

Summary:- If we could put more effort, time, dedication in our marriage, we will have less issues.

precisionindepth:
wen u talk abt D's side of life, also tk d pain to talk abt d other side. let's take all form bias out and tackle and real issue.
men too marry for very wrong reasons. until we all.... BT sexes...look deep and marry our partner cos we respect and understand, then can things b a little normal...let all take D's issue of love out and choose to marry one we can respect and treat like a queen and king respectively

Alright!

You have a point there.

centjamie:


Alright!
You have a point there.

thks

jnrbayano:


The Christ you mentioned, what about his opinion on the bold?

Has Christ ever abandoned his church despite the church's incessant misbehaviour?

Don't be selective dear.

You are now twisting the scriptures to excuse abuse
Let me start by stating that not all marital unions started with God in it so you don't expect that God will keep something he was not invited into.

Now read this

How many times has Christ who signifies the husband beat up,punched,knocked out teeth from or cheated on the bride?
The bible says men love your wives as Christ loved the church
So if the man is not doing that he has already violated that command and principle that guides marriage
Christ is not abusive to his church,if he were,the church will not be under obligation to follow his lead.

Secondly the same bible gives a condition where marriage becomes null and void and that is adultery or if the spouse walks away
Go read your bible
Just like if a man or woman chooses to get away from under the leadership of Christ,they are not part of this bride arrangement ,in the same vein, if a man chooses to leave the marital union to cheat and abandon his family,the covenant is broken by that choice of his.
You folks should stop teaching people what the bible didn't teach so as to keep women in bondage.

Taylor86:
y e no go crash

wen ur husband go dey untop of u dey do everything humanly possible to satisfy u


u dey ping dey reply message

Because these days,

* women want to be the men of the house(feminism shey!).

* you almost can't have a happy home without money(money sha).

* in Africa(Naija),men can cheat, buh for the women, it spells a visit to your parents(cheating is xclusive to men, women don't try this in Naija).

*Telemundo, lol! I reserve my comment.

To mention buh a few...

honeric01:


You mean the men in the west are not acting accordingly-modern?

i meant there should be 100% gender equality and the men in thewest should do more to tow that line.