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My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Lordave: 8:50am On May 18, 2015
Nnemuka:

I think am gay. Never been attracted to an opposite sex. At a point I had about two boyfriends but they couldn't undrstand why I am very frigid.

Took me years to arrive at a conclusion that I am gay and only attracted to women.
Do I want to get married, yes.
When I meet a man who certainly understands my predicament and wishes to help I will get married. society and culture frowns at it plus I am christian so idnt want to live my life as a lesbian
Don't worry, I'll always stand by you.
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by tucky200(m): 8:51am On May 18, 2015
XBLadez:

Go to the religion section and stop threatening our lives. It's too early

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by tiredface: 8:51am On May 18, 2015
SHE'S A BISEXUAL. YOUR CHOICE SIR
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by menxer: 8:52am On May 18, 2015
Bros, we all ve a past, some are darker and dirtier than others. if u know in ur heart u won't be able to digest and excrete what she told u about herself, and still love her with pride, shut down. grin
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by NZEGWUAGU(m): 8:52am On May 18, 2015
Run please. She's not good for you! If events had not twisted out of her control she would never have told you and I'm sure that love-vendor is doing her as well. For the love-vendor to call you to ask why you have not been talking her on the phone meant both of them are still in good contact. Please run for your life. She is a wh ore

4 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by francopido(m): 8:52am On May 18, 2015
My brother,if u love urself run for ur life. Cos lesbos never change. If at any point in time,u guys have any misunderstanding,she will always go to her lesbian lover to console her and u know what that means. So wise up bro,the ball is in ur court.

4 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Lordave: 8:53am On May 18, 2015
Joel3:
does of you talking about the past. that thing will followers this guy for eternity. he will never forget. what if there is still more secret he doesn't know about.

once you found a girl with one secret run. because they are many of it.

marred is bride and pride. if the woman you marry doesn't worth a bride or pride then how do you cope?

when people who already knows your wise as lesbian and prostitute. and what about your children? likely one of them will be lesbian. it flows in the gene.

Nobody will kill you if you write in your local dialect

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Nobody: 8:53am On May 18, 2015
Everyone has a past mehn so we can't be judgemental,but we mustnt have to deal and suffer the consequences of some peoples past,I'm not looking to find my wife in all these church meeting,women go useless their lives finish,you go come see dem for redeem camp hoping to find a descent guy. Ok na

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by tutucious(f): 8:53am On May 18, 2015
The problem is u... Think of ur own past before placing judgement... Everyone has a past including u... But if u cannot live with the information please don't go into the marriage and punish the innocent girl...

If God is to judge u I wonder if u will be here typing. Mtcheew
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by free2ryhme: 8:54am On May 18, 2015
pukena:
I met her in a church program in December last year. I proposed to her in January and she accepted. my life in the past 4 months with her has been a dream come true. I showed her off to family and friends at will even in facebook. We even attended a leadership training program for two weeks where we birthed a business dream we shall go into as a family. In fact there was no doubt she was in love with me. I spent on her within my capacity without feeling regret. giving to her was a delight. Everything was perfect until the phone call....

I was on a lunch date with her during a break from d office when a call came through her phone. Usually I dont pokenose into her calls or chats. she doesnt like it.

however, something was different about this particular call. I noticed she was uneasy and was kind of trying to pacify the caller with some excuses why she didnt pick his/her call ealier. I got more curios and demanded to know who called. she said it a nobody. I insisted in knowing who she was pleading with.

finally she spoke. my whole world came crashing before me. I was speechless for some time trying to understand the words I heard from a lady I have given my heart to.

she told me the call was a bolt from her past. that she has been looking for how to tell me about it. "I was into women untill three years ago. the guy who called has my pics and is threatening to publish them online to punish me. he wants to link me up to a rich woman but I told him I dont want so he is threatening to deal with me".

I was lost for words. was ds my lady? I was confused. I demanded to speak to d guy myself. she refused. I wanted to explode then she gave me d number. I called d guy and introduced myself and inquired of d guy if what my woman said was true. at ds point d guy flared up calling my woman unprintable words. he angrily told me that my woman came to him long ago and asked him to hook her up with a rich woman. that he wants to punish her for being a lesbian. blah blah blah......so many revelations I cant say her for respect to my woman.

well, the lunch date was ruined already. I coolly but sternly asked her to go home from the restaurant. I was boiling inside. she followed me back to my office. I turned to see her following and wanted to blow up when she calmly said " emmanuel, just know that all ds things happened in the past. am not proud of it but I hv moved on. I came to tell u about it today before d call came in". with that she turned and left. ofcourse d rest of the day wad spoiled for me.

for days I didnt call her. she wud call and end the call when I wouldnt talk much. I was still in shock. d best friend called and pleaded. she said my woman hadnt left her room for days. always crying non stop.

I still love her. I called d guy later and he claimed he was just playing around. dat the pictures he claimed to hv hv long been lost. dat I shud not leave my woman becos of that. that what he did dat morning was to check if my woman was still in that game. I didnt believe him.

anyway I tried to move on with my woman. though I must admit that things are not d way it used to be. I hv lost d enthusiasm.

I was watching man u match this afternoon when my phone rang. it was the same guy. I asked him why he called. he said called to know why am not talking to my woman. I got angry andtold him to stay clear of my life. I cut the call. he then sent me a message that he would like t send me a link to a website so I would get to know whovmy woman truely is.

I called my girl and warned her to ask her friend to leave me alone.

I want to break up from her. pls is ds the right thing to do?

pls I typed this with a phone to pardon some of my errors.


Guy try see reason not to
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by TheFilmmaker: 8:55am On May 18, 2015
Nnemuka:

I think am gay. Never been attracted to an opposite sex. At a point I had about two boyfriends but they couldn't undrstand why I am very frigid.

Took me years to arrive at a conclusion that I am gay and only attracted to women.
Do I want to get married, yes.
When I meet a man who certainly understands my predicament and wishes to help I will get married. society and culture frowns at it plus I am christian so idnt want to live my life as a lesbian



*sips petrol* grin

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by charlesucheh(m): 8:56am On May 18, 2015
That's not a past, it's her biological make up. She might still love you oooo and can also rescind. There's what we call "SITUATIONAL CRIME" or rather oppourtunity in criminology, it simply means that, when she's exposed to her lesbians folks, there's a 90% chance that she will go back to the old life. In essence, what i'm suggestion is that she should be rehabilitated(isolated from them) and re-integrated into a her normal sexual life.

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by ommo(m): 8:56am On May 18, 2015
pukena:
I met her in a church program in December last year. I proposed to her in January and she accepted. my life in the past 4 months with her has been a dream come true. I showed her off to family and friends at will even in facebook. We even attended a leadership training program for two weeks where we birthed a business dream we shall go into as a family. In fact there was no doubt she was in love with me. I spent on her within my capacity without feeling regret. giving to her was a delight. Everything was perfect until the phone call....

I was on a lunch date with her during a break from d office when a call came through her phone. Usually I dont pokenose into her calls or chats. she doesnt like it.

however, something was different about this particular call. I noticed she was uneasy and was kind of trying to pacify the caller with some excuses why she didnt pick his/her call ealier. I got more curios and demanded to know who called. she said it a nobody. I insisted in knowing who she was pleading with.

finally she spoke. my whole world came crashing before me. I was speechless for some time trying to understand the words I heard from a lady I have given my heart to.

she told me the call was a bolt from her past. that she has been looking for how to tell me about it. "I was into women untill three years ago. the guy who called has my pics and is threatening to publish them online to punish me. he wants to link me up to a rich woman but I told him I dont want so he is threatening to deal with me".

I was lost for words. was ds my lady? I was confused. I demanded to speak to d guy myself. she refused. I wanted to explode then she gave me d number. I called d guy and introduced myself and inquired of d guy if what my woman said was true. at ds point d guy flared up calling my woman unprintable words. he angrily told me that my woman came to him long ago and asked him to hook her up with a rich woman. that he wants to punish her for being a lesbian. blah blah blah......so many revelations I cant say her for respect to my woman.

well, the lunch date was ruined already. I coolly but sternly asked her to go home from the restaurant. I was boiling inside. she followed me back to my office. I turned to see her following and wanted to blow up when she calmly said " emmanuel, just know that all ds things happened in the past. am not proud of it but I hv moved on. I came to tell u about it today before d call came in". with that she turned and left. ofcourse d rest of the day wad spoiled for me.

for days I didnt call her. she wud call and end the call when I wouldnt talk much. I was still in shock. d best friend called and pleaded. she said my woman hadnt left her room for days. always crying non stop.

I still love her. I called d guy later and he claimed he was just playing around. dat the pictures he claimed to hv hv long been lost. dat I shud not leave my woman becos of that. that what he did dat morning was to check if my woman was still in that game. I didnt believe him.

anyway I tried to move on with my woman. though I must admit that things are not d way it used to be. I hv lost d enthusiasm.

I was watching man u match this afternoon when my phone rang. it was the same guy. I asked him why he called. he said called to know why am not talking to my woman. I got angry andtold him to stay clear of my life. I cut the call. he then sent me a message that he would like t send me a link to a website so I would get to know whovmy woman truely is.

I called my girl and warned her to ask her friend to leave me alone.

I want to break up from her. pls is ds the right thing to do?

pls I typed this with a phone to pardon some of my errors.



I do not comment on peoples' personal life, but, i will break this rule and plead with you to please FORGIVE her. We do so many things in the past we later regret in life and this is one instance. If promise to truly change, you need to help her in that regard. Leaving her might push her back to these acts again. Take this has your own contribution to saving her in particular and the human race as a whole.

Marry her is another subject altogether. That is a decision you have to sit down and weigh the consequences before taking, but, please forgive her from the bottom of your heart. We all have our pasts, and we always ask God for forgiveness and He always forgives us. Moreover, she did those things before meeting you, therefore, they are in the past.

For the feelings, they will come with time my guy. Thank you
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by dapsin999(m): 8:59am On May 18, 2015
eyeview:
Note that she did not confess directly to you. It was a coincidence that you were there when the love-vendor called. Had you not been there,she may not have told you. So there's no way of genuinely knowing if she was repentant.
Personally,I would advice that you back off cos marriage is not a daily rosy affair. There are times in it when you stretch each others patients to the point of giving up. So how sure can you be that such times won't lead her back to that era.
Lesbianism(and the likes) are more spiritual than psychological in nature. I hope you have what it takes to help her win this spiritual battle. Many who have tried to leave it later succumb to the greater force of the spirits behind it,unless they can get God to help.

But why do girls most times do things in the present which they won't be proud of in their future?

1000 likes. You spoke my mind

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Lillee: 8:59am On May 18, 2015
My dear brother. Make your choice. Don't marry her if u can't trust her. If u can forgive her and trust her, then marry her and move on. She is not different from most girls that sleep with men only hers was with women. Life is not fair. She is caught so every tom dick and harry is yarning poooh. Hmmm most ladies sleep out with men 4 money and the still are hapily married even wen their husbands were once their customers. Follow your heart.
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Nobody: 9:02am On May 18, 2015
Don't do it bro. We all av our past,hers just came hunting her. Its true what she did was a wrong thing bt the truth is that she seems to have regreted her actions. Moreso,i want to besiege u that their are things u need to know as a man so that u dont fall a prey. Demand meeting that guy in person and make enquiry into the scandal so that they don't use ur head. U might decide hire a secret investigator,that's my field anyway. U need it so as to get to the root of this matter.only if u truly love her like u pose

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by preetyb(f): 9:02am On May 18, 2015
Well my adivice to you is, you should break up with her if u knw you cant forgive her now. It will be better for her to move on without you now than to be with u and always feel guilty and ashame. Because unforgiveness will always bring down a relationship or marriage no matter how long and how well it had been.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by xcesswag(m): 9:03am On May 18, 2015
Bro.....u've got a past too.....just look past errytin nd take ur wife to d altar......u gotta av a forgiving mind keh.....peace
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by dacillin: 9:04am On May 18, 2015
i read with keen interest d OP post n comments of d NLanders.
D point is can d OP forgive n forget?
U may forgive her now, can u forget in d future. YES! We all have a past bt, a past u cant cope with in d future we dont go there at all. U cant marry out of pity. Let assume, u forgive her now n u marry her, if she misbehave attimes u may use her past to abuse her OR she came home late, uy mind will think she is back in her old way{if u abuse her in marriage will be more fatal than wen u r courting}.
OP think abt it very well, can u forgive n forget her past now n especially in d future. Remember, is better to have broken relationship than divorce marriage.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by tommywise: 9:06am On May 18, 2015
He is not marrying her past. Show me a man without a past.
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by einsteino(m): 9:06am On May 18, 2015
Its ur life sha. for me i cannot meet someone in december and start talking abt marriage in january. people pretend like madt, the only way to find out the true person is to have a long rship. i have dated an angel that turned out to be a demon later

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by yumyspiced(f): 9:06am On May 18, 2015
hmmmmm,not easy shaa...plz if you can't leave wit it,just move on,but you said you love her,anyway this is marriage,make the rit decision for urself...
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by einsteino(m): 9:07am On May 18, 2015
tommywise:
He is not marrying her past. Show me a man without a past.

wtf a man that is a gay or self services? Well it is his choice sha.
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by activefibre1(m): 9:08am On May 18, 2015
my guy , see in life there is always a pay back for all we do. To me i see this as someone with a scare tha vant be rubed off. So try to be her friend, and cut the relationship. Get someone else. Becos wen you both fight , i wont be surprised if you use her past against her again, just to drive home a point. Trust is dead in this. Pity is not to be excersied in this relationship. Be her friend, help her out, but deep in u , u knw you cant continue. This is the purpose why u came into her life in the first place.

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by situationroom: 9:09am On May 18, 2015
all this girls forming Oprah Winfrey and Trisha..if the guy was a bad ass cultists or a serial woman beater..Shea Una for run


now ur here pretending to understand the past..my guy if u no fit abeg free d babe

4 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Acidosis(m): 9:12am On May 18, 2015
Move on, OP.



Her past will always distort the relationship. That guy won't stop calling/threatening you.

3 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by scait(m): 9:13am On May 18, 2015
she told you about her past, that's sincerity, some others wouldn't. Try investigate her faith, salvation, if it's genuine. Pray to get a direction from God.
Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by eyeview: 9:16am On May 18, 2015
For all those making excuses that the op has a past too, they should be made to know that unnatural sexual preferences(lesbianism,homosexuals,bestality,paedophiles etc) is not a past. It is a past, a present and a future. Its not like a one-time accident.
And it is also worrisome that most girls on this thread are of the stand that everybody has a dark past and secrets. Please, they should change that impression as its the quickest way the devil is getting them to do things they will later regret in life. Its not everybody that has such. I can boldly play out my whole life for my kids to watch and won't be ashamed of it.

Always live a life you could be proud of when your kids say "mum,dad I want to live my life exactly the way you didl"

2 Likes

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Namzy(m): 9:16am On May 18, 2015
Don't usually give advice but in this case I'll be making an exception.......... Call the blackmailing dude and request for the site to see her pictures and get that over with, think long and hard and decide if you'll continue. I didn't believe her when she said she came to tell you her past life @lunch the truth i believe is the guy was already blackmailing her and she decided to come forward. You gotta see those pics man then decide. Forgiving her past life esp in this magnitude ain't easy forget all those telling you its in the past most wont marry prostitutes when they find out. Let the nature of those pics decide cos they might surface later and begin another phase

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by Nobody: 9:17am On May 18, 2015
Just end that relationship immediately.
She is deep into that shit even for a website to be mentioned.

She wants to 'retire' with you. That's bullshit.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by elantraceey(f): 9:19am On May 18, 2015
Like seriously , break up with her? undecided

To me you never loved her, it was just infatuation because if you really did , this will not spoil it, come on who is without mistakes and faults tell me? Is there not something you've done before that you're currently ashamed of? Or have you always being a saint?


Love forgives and forget, if you truly love her you'll forget about it and block that guys number.

1 Like

Re: My Fiance Was A Lesbian. Should I Still Marry her? by arsetalks(m): 9:21am On May 18, 2015
I don't want to be in your shoes right now. It is a sad place to be. One thing you should know is, we all have our past and it is only you who can tell if truly she has changed or not.

1 Like

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