Hi everyone, please I need your advice. I am an Igbo girl but my boyfriend is from Delta state (He is Delta Igbo). We've been dating for some months and now he really wants to marry me. He's 25 which my parents think is too early for him to get married and I'm a year younger than him. Speaking of my parents, they are not 100% in support, my Dad is ok with where he's from but my mum, not so much. Their incomplete support also has to do with the fact that my boyfriend is not yet very established so they are skeptical of his true personality. I also heard stories that deltans marry many wives and that sometimes they cheat and do not take it as anything serious. He is good looking and has a couple of girls running after him. He says he loves me and has promised me over and over again that he will never cheat and will do anything to make me happy. I'm seriously confused. I love him but sometimes I have doubts.
Just any information about how marriage in Delta state works could help. Information on their religious beliefs and tradition, the physical environment, and the place of a wife in the extended family, or personal experience/marriage with Deltans will be appreciated. since he is Delta Igbo, will my kids be regarded as Igbo too, (my boyfriend sees himself as Igbo), I have nothing against Deltans but I would love my kids to be seen as Igbos however, I wouldn't reject my boyfriend if he wasn't 100% Igbo.
Thanks in advance.. (pls don't be rude)

You ladies always have the deep deep down feeling if a man is meant for you.

Is delta not igbo... cos I am very very sure that igbo is spoken in the government house.


Where in Delta is he from?

HI

@OP pls dnt take what i have to tell u personal, "sorry but u reason like a child.

If only I knew where to begin...

Just any information about how marriage in Delta state works could help. Information on their religious beliefs and tradition, the physical environment, and the place of a wife in the extended family, or personal experience/marriage with Deltans will be appreciated.

this is what I call gathering information.


op are you Igbo from Nigeria or Igbo from outside Nigeria, ie original (or non-negroid) Igbo without black skin.

shakazuldadon:



You ladies always have the deep deep down feeling if a man is meant for you.

Is delta not igbo... cos I am very very sure that igbo is spoken in the government house.


Where in Delta is he from?

To tell u say u no get sense dey hungry me but am a christian,and I dnt curse.However,Never in ur lyf again say Delta is Igbo.We are Deltans: Uhrobo,Isoko,Ijaw,Anioma.

@Op...when u marry a Deltan,ur kids become Deltans.if u want IGbo kids,marry an Igbo man.

We are welcoming people.u'll love the extended family bonds,vry strong.

Hardworking people with a nice and very peaceful environment. But,u are ryt that we love women,still it depends on individuals.

What has character got to do with tribe and ethnic background however if he's unemployed then I can understand your parents fear. The rest is nonsense.




At 24 you should know better. You're an adult

You are confused

Do you have a job? Does your bf have a job/

sweetorgasm:
@OP pls dnt take what i have to tell u personal, "sorry but u reason like a child.

How do I reason like a child? I'm just a little confused. Do you have an opinion on the issue or not?

tpiander:



this is what I call gathering information.


op are you Igbo from Nigeria or Igbo from outside Nigeria, ie original (or non-negroid) Igbo without black skin.

Does it make any difference?

SAMBARRY:
What has character got to do with tribe and ethnic background however if he's unemployed then I can understand your parents fear. The rest is nonsense.




At 24 you should know better. You're an adult

Thank you. It's just that sometimes our environment can affect us.. Thanks for your input

shakazuldadon:



You ladies always have the deep deep down feeling if a man is meant for you.

Is delta not igbo... cos I am very very sure that igbo is spoken in the government house.


Where in Delta is he from?

Thank you. He regards himself as Igbo and speaks Igbo well too

Mishydoo:



To tell u say u no get sense dey hungry me but am a christian,and I dnt curse.However,Never in ur lyf again say Delta is Igbo.We are Deltans: Uhrobo,Isoko,Ijaw,Anioma.

@Op...when u marry a Deltan,ur kids become Deltans.if u want IGbo kids,marry an Igbo man.

We are welcoming people.u'll love the extended family bonds,vry strong.

Hardworking people with a nice and very peaceful environment. But,u are ryt that we love women,still it depends on individuals.

There are Igbos in Delta and Deltan is NOT a tribe although there are many different tribes in it. Just like Lagos is mixed with many different tribes and Lagosian is not a tribe. However, does your liking women involve Not being faithful to your wives? Extended family bonds are good but not when that "extended" involves a second wife.

lilmax:
You are confused

Well duhh, that's why I'm seeking a little advice here...

raumdeuter:
Do you have a job? Does your bf have a job/

I'm still in school and I work too. He has a job but his income cannot support a family now.

Afrobeau:
I'm still in school and I work too. He has a job but his income cannot support a family now.

You have answered your own question

You earn close to nothing, He too earns meagre, So how do you hope to support yourselves if you marry

Marriage is no child's play and sincerely from ur post u sound like a child(no offence pls).
If u love your kids to be seen as Igbo then marry an Igbo man, besides what has ds got to do with marriage. If u have doubts(like u said) about him then don't go ahead. Give urself plenty of time to know what u really want.

if u want IGbo kids,marry an Igbo man

If u love your kids to be seen as Igbo then marry an Igbo man

besides what has ds got to do with marriage

sums it up I guess.

Wendy80:
Marriage is no child's play and sincerely from ur post u sound like a child(no offence pls).
If u love your kids to be seen as Igbo then marry an Igbo man, besides what has ds got to do with marriage. If u have doubts(like u said) about him then don't go ahead. Give urself plenty of time to know what u really want.

Thanks for the reply. I probably sound like a child because I was trying to be polite. I am NOT a child. I just need tips on te general lifestyle of people from his area, that's all. That I choose not to come off as strong/bold doesn't mean I'm immature.

Afrobeau:
Hi everyone, please I need your advice. I am an Igbo girl but my boyfriend is from Delta state (He is Delta Igbo). We've been dating for some months and now he really wants to marry me. He's 25 which my parents think is too early for him to get married and I'm a year younger than him. Speaking of my parents, they are not 100% in support, my Dad is ok with where he's from but my mum, not so much. Their incomplete support also has to do with the fact that my boyfriend is not yet very established so they are skeptical of his true personality. I also heard stories that deltans marry many wives and that sometimes they cheat and do not take it as anything serious. He is good looking and has a couple of girls running after him. He says he loves me and has promised me over and over again that he will never cheat and will do anything to make me happy. I'm seriously confused. I love him but sometimes I have doubts.
Just any information about how marriage in Delta state works could help. Information on their religious beliefs and tradition, the physical environment, and the place of a wife in the extended family, or personal experience/marriage with Deltans will be appreciated. since he is Delta Igbo, will my kids be regarded as Igbo too, (my boyfriend sees himself as Igbo), I have nothing against Deltans but I would love my kids to be seen as Igbos however, I wouldn't reject my boyfriend if he wasn't 100% Igbo.
Thanks in advance.. (pls don't be rude)

It's quite obvious that the only thing about him that appeals to you is his good looks.
Remember, looks can easily fade away.
He's also too young and inexperienced.

Op, i was loved a delta guy frm ogwashi,, dey r nic,, generous nd gud pple bt get ready to av oda wives e dey der blood. I wud av marrid him, he is frm d royal famly bt u knw wat he too lie nd can womanize abeg i run for my lyf, boyfrnd/galfrnd no b marriag. Jos pray sha God wil hlp u

Ladybluecash:
Op, i was loved a delta guy frm ogwashi,, dey r nic,, generous nd gud pple bt get ready to av oda wives e dey der blood. I wud av marrid him, he is frm d royal famly bt u knw wat he too lie nd can womanize abeg i run for my lyf, boyfrnd/galfrnd no b marriag. Jos pray sha God wil hlp u

Thank you very much, I appreciate your comment. Thanks again.

steppin:

It's quite obvious that the only thing about him that appeals to you is his good looks.
Remember, looks can easily fade away.
He's also too young and inexperienced.

Thank you for your input. However, I'm Not attracted to him just by his looks. I simply didn't mention every other thing that attracts me to him.

Nne I didn't get the part about wanting your kids seen as Igbo. As long as the Daddy is Delta Igbo that's what will reflect on their local government certificate kini. Maybe you mean outwardly which doesn't really matter.

You guys might look young but if you are finanacially stable you're good to go but seeing you're not so stable then why the rush? You're still in school why not wait till you're done and can support your man better? I can't imagine how it'll be combining school, work/personal business and a young marriage and a child maybe? Take a breather and think things through Miss.

About where he's from, there will always be stereotypes and exceptions. That his tribe marry plenty wives doesn't necesarrily mean he'll follow same route. You know your man and only you can hazard the best guess if he falls in 'stereotype' or 'exception'. Don't let hearsay affect that judgement.

Afrobeau:
Hi everyone, please I need your advice. I am an Igbo girl but my boyfriend is from Delta state (He is Delta Igbo). We've been dating for some months and now he really wants to marry me. He's 25 which my parents think is too early for him to get married and I'm a year younger than him. Speaking of my parents, they are not 100% in support, my Dad is ok with where he's from but my mum, not so much. Their incomplete support also has to do with the fact that my boyfriend is not yet very established so they are skeptical of his true personality. I also heard stories that deltans marry many wives and that sometimes they cheat and do not take it as anything serious. He is good looking and has a couple of girls running after him. He says he loves me and has promised me over and over again that he will never cheat and will do anything to make me happy. I'm seriously confused. I love him but sometimes I have doubts.
Just any information about how marriage in Delta state works could help. Information on their religious beliefs and tradition, the physical environment, and the place of a wife in the extended family, or personal experience/marriage with Deltans will be appreciated. since he is Delta Igbo, will my kids be regarded as Igbo too, (my boyfriend sees himself as Igbo), I have nothing against Deltans but I would love my kids to be seen as Igbos however, I wouldn't reject my boyfriend if he wasn't 100% Igbo.
Thanks in advance.. (pls don't be rude)

delta igbo are pure igbo just like anambra igbo ...they have similar culture. With anambra and many anambra married delta igbo due to cultural similarity ....it depends on which part of igbo u r from ...as of ur children they will be pure igbo ..there are places in delta igbo that are more igbo than some anambra villages places like igbuzor ogwashi etc

But apart from that love isn't enough in marriage ..look at things like psychological and emotional maturity then compatiblity..cos when troubles comes love will for out ..then finance also ..if both of u guys are working then its okay. The age difference isn't an issue ...


Check if u can handle it.....

If u can ...then go ahead ...wish u success

Married a delta igbo lady also and we are cool .....IGBOS

Afrobeau:
Hi everyone, please I need your advice. I am an Igbo girl but my boyfriend is from Delta state (He is Delta Igbo). We've been dating for some months and now he really wants to marry me. He's 25 which my parents think is too early for him to get married and I'm a year younger than him. Speaking of my parents, they are not 100% in support, my Dad is ok with where he's from but my mum, not so much. Their incomplete support also has to do with the fact that my boyfriend is not yet very established so they are skeptical of his true personality. I also heard stories that deltans marry many wives and that sometimes they cheat and do not take it as anything serious. He is good looking and has a couple of girls running after him. He says he loves me and has promised me over and over again that he will never cheat and will do anything to make me happy. I'm seriously confused. I love him but sometimes I have doubts.
Just any information about how marriage in Delta state works could help. Information on their religious beliefs and tradition, the physical environment, and the place of a wife in the extended family, or personal experience/marriage with Deltans will be appreciated. since he is Delta Igbo, will my kids be regarded as Igbo too, (my boyfriend sees himself as Igbo), I have nothing against Deltans but I would love my kids to be seen as Igbos however, I wouldn't reject my boyfriend if he wasn't 100% Igbo.
Thanks in advance.. (pls don't be rude)

There will be stereotypes everywhere... just learnt that Lagoisans marry a lot of wives on NL. I haven't seen one Anyways (I know We are talking of a small pool). I am more concerned about the substance of the person here.

First your joint finances cannot cater for your home... How much is the aggregate? Where are you based? What are your plans? Kids immediately? Career first?

Second What do you mean by women are chasing him? If he is not giving them hope, they should back off after a while. What are his views with regards cheating? Love? Man - Woman relationship dynamics? How does he relate with other ladies? Who are his friends?

Third: What was the foundation of your relationship? It sounds like it did not start off serious... What changed? Why is he now interested in marrying you? Are you planning to becelibate till marriage?

Fourth: If you want Igbo kids, marry an Igbo man. Besides, Delta Igbos have Igbo names So your kids would have Igbo names.

Now is the time to find out who he is and he said, he said. Forget all those I want to marry you talk and learn more about him.

Goodluck

Na wa o.

So you are going to decide based on your findings about his tribe and not him as a person, you are not ready for marriage.

Afrobeau:
There are Igbos in Delta and Deltan is NOT a tribe although there are many different tribes in it. Just like Lagos is mixed with many different tribes and Lagosian is not a tribe. However, does your liking women involve Not being faithful to your wives? Extended family bonds are good but not when that "extended" involves a second wife.

What are u saying?!Is there anywhere u wont find igbos in ds country.

Am saying that there are NO INDIGENOUS igbos in Delta State. What u have are tribes lyk Ndokwa,UKwani,Osimili...they have their languages and they DO NOT call it Igbo.
And u cannot compare with lagos whc is a No man's land...every tribe has their differing culture they guard jelously.call an Ndokwa man Igbo and he'll skin u alive!

Mishydoo:



What are u saying?!Is there anywhere u wont find igbos in ds country.

Am saying that there are NO INDIGENOUS igbos in Delta State. What u have are tribes lyk Ndokwa,UKwani,Osimili...they have their languages and they DO NOT call it Igbo.
And u cannot compare with lagos whc is a No man's land...every tribe has their differing culture they guard jelously.call an Ndokwa man Igbo and he'll skin u alive!

My dear please for your peace of mind, do not bother explaining this. It's not worth it. I tried explaining that last week and got called all sorts of names. People generally don't like correction.

An0nimus:
Nne I didn't get the part about wanting your kids seen as Igbo. As long as the Daddy is Delta Igbo that's what will reflect on their local government certificate kini. Maybe you mean outwardly which doesn't really matter.

You guys might look young but if you are finanacially stable you're good to go but seeing you're not so stable then why the rush? You're still in school why not wait till you're done and can support your man better? I can't imagine how it'll be combining school, work/personal business and a young marriage and a child maybe? Take a breather and think things through Miss.

About where he's from, there will always be stereotypes and exceptions. That his tribe marry plenty wives doesn't necesarrily mean he'll follow same route. You know your man and only you can hazard the best guess if he falls in 'stereotype' or 'exception'. Don't let hearsay affect that judgement.

Thank you very much. I sincerely appreciate your response. He said he just want us to be engaged and then we'll get married when I graduate. I just don't want to jump from one guy to another. If I get engaged to him, that means I am determined to marry him that is why I wanted to do some sort of a background check. It doesn't really matter about the kids anyways, he has an Igbo surname... Maybe I shouldn't have put the being igbo part in the question but I appreciate the responses I got. Yours is exceptionally good though. Thanks again.