Hello my dear readers. How is the fine weather treating you. Hope Y'all are in good health. Am happy to write your way again and i hope you are happy to read from me.

Today i will be brief, but direct. A little research coupled with my own hands-on real life examples has completely left me with just one question.....why do ladies in their early 20's always want to rush into marriage??

Since i am no counsellor nor marriage therapist, my angle to the subject might be a bit undiercted which was why i resorted to opinnion sampling of expert in the field. So below is the summary of my research which is a blend of my thought and a couple of extra mind's.

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women who get hitched in their 20s, divorcing in the first couple of years has become a common pattern now, and most of them go through this horrifying phase even
before hitting 30. While the factors behind every relationship’s downfall are different, the underlying impetus behind marriage is similar
for some of the women. For women, who maintain a comfortable long- term relationship in their 20s, the next logical step is to get hitched, mainly because they find it convenient. For example,29 year-old accountant from New Jersey admitted to
marrying even though she didn’t feel ‘crazy love’, because was ‘content and secure instead’, imagine that!!!
.
Many times it is a previous relationship, which leaves a woman heartbroken and propels them to marry ‘Mr Wrong'. They say you never really get over your first love.
“I didn''t think I would ever fall in love again so I figured it didn’t matter who I married,” said a beautiful 26 year-old lady. Imagine that!!!!

There are many women who take the decision of getting married simply because they hope that marriage would change things. For instance, a 35 year-old travel correspondent thought that once she settled into newlywed
bliss, her ex-husband would be happier with his own life, will be able to hold a steady job and show her more affection. However, in due course Casey, who married at 24, found her ex husband “immature and insecure”. Imagine that !!!

Then there are instances when women hasten to tie the nuptial knot apparently because of low self-esteem. “I was a very insecure individual at that time. I was losing weight
from gastric bypass surgery and wasn’t happy with my appearance. He told me I couldn’t do any better and I believed him,” said a 30 year-old social worker.

There is not one main reason, which can be blamed for getting married. There are women who had a clue that their marriages were not meant to be but still went ahead with it
anyway. Most ladies also presume that immediately after the compulsory youth corps, the next thing in line is marriage. Yes i am quite aware of some over-aged ladies still in school and i wouldnt blame them for not waiting a second longer but my finger is pointed at ladies of 21, 22 even 23 years old rushing and gushing into the trade of marriage.

In my own honest opinnion, i think marriage is fast rising to the 'overated' chart just like 'sex' but i still believe in its sacredness. Now before you get me wrong, i dont detest a young lady getting married early to the man of her dreams....i just dont think the 'rush effect' was necessary. No one is concerned about your timing of marriage. You can still relax and shine your eyes.

I love to get married someday to the woman of dreams and i dont want the rush effect to be there. It gives the guy a sense of settlement and confidence. By the time you start pushing for it, he might start pulling away. Not minding the caustic effect of young age in marriage, it will still do both couple some good to come of age. You can be married and stil school but i tell you that aint joke. Be prepare for the worst.

So here you have my take on "why girls rush into marriage at a very tender age"....

Do well enough to supply answers to my troubled thoughts. I would love to know your perspective.


Contributor: husdatimes.com
By: scentmarlc http://scentmarlc.

Yorubaboi shey yu sef no dey wonder nii!?

Teempakguy:
ah. Okay.

okay?

naijaboiy:
still reading

wen r yu gona be thru wif reading

abeg mey pesin summarize dat article above fr me

pTomz:
abeg mey pesin summarize dat article above fr me

wait adeycome

In my own understanding



Summary......
ladies get married at age 30........35
and not 21...23
you are too young then.
y the rush anyway ?

MsBliss:
In my own understanding




Summary......

ladies get married at age 30........35

and not 21...23

you are too young then.

y the rush anyway ?

hahahhaaa yu almost got it. But let me help you. In my fouth year in the uni, there is trending eartquake of intros and engagements that rocked my class. Atfirst i tot they were all ripe and ready, but wen my gf started plotting ours, i almost fainted. I was 25 then and she was barely 22. We do still do silly stuffs not expected of adults. And above all, there is no source of income....hahhha, dis girl wan make i steal nii.

So i decided to inquire what spurned her new resolve, and she simply said all her four friends in other department has gotten married, at age 21. If you think maybe they married a correct ready made guy, then you are a joker. The friends i learnt, got wedded to a teacher, civil plumber, pastor and maybe a grad assitant or something. Now i dont intend to belittle those jobs, but is that all those girls ever wanted. Why the rush you would say right !!!!!

When you have trained your daughter, she'll just wake up one morning "I don't want to mary anyone", how many Nigerian parent can take that??

scentmarlc:
hahahhaaa yu almost got it. But let me help you. In my fouth year in the uni, there is trending eartquake of intros and engagements that rocked my class. Atfirst i tot they were all ripe and ready, but wen my gf started plotting ours, i almost fainted. I was 25 then and she was barely 22. We do still do silly stuffs not expected of adults. And above all, there is no source of income....hahhha, dis girl wan make i steal nii.

So i decided to inquire what spurned her new resolve, and she simply said all her four friends in other department has gotten married, at age 21. If you think maybe they married a correct ready made guy, then you are a joker. The friends i learnt, got wedded to a teacher, civil plumber, pastor and maybe a grad assitant or something. Now i dont intend to belittle those jobs, but is that all those girls ever wanted. Why the rush you would say right !!!!!

Is 21 not a good age to marry?








They are in love that's why .What happened to "for better for worse?

30? Are u joking? U think marriage is about the age? Its about maturity. My grandmother got married at d age of 14. Not that im saying its good but age is nothing. When you marry at 30.. When will u start having children, when will u start family planning. At d age of 40. U are still having kids? Common. When did omotola get married. 18.. A friend of mine got married once she clocked 20. By d time u reach 30,35. It will become prayer point. Some people even in dia 30's are still immature. Its about d mindset.

Blossom023:
30? Are u joking? U think marriage is about the age? Its about maturity. My grandmother got married at d age of 14. Not that im saying its good but age is nothing. When you marry at 30.. When will u start having children, when will u start family planning. At d age of 40. U are still having kids? Common. When did omotola get married. 18.. A friend of mine got married once she clocked 20. By d time u reach 30,35. It will become prayer point. Some people even in dia 30's are still immature. Its about d mindset.

abeg eee.. You spoilt it with talk about marriage at 14. No one is mature at 14, not physically and certainly not emotionally.

Em... Age has everything to do with it. All other conditions (genes, experience and environment) being constant (and equal for everyone), maturity is directly proportional to age (time). Even experience is a function of age and exposure.

While the op's 30 years estimate is off the mark, as people differ, no one should rush into marriage.

scentmarlc:
Yorubaboi shey yu sef no dey wonder nii!?

dey are still young ...so dey think marriage is a childs play....

MsBliss:

Is 21 not a good age to marry?








They are in love that's why .What happened to "for better for worse?

its not love dats sustains a marriage relationship....its simply FRIENDSHIP.....y wont u galx just gt dart into ur heads for once

Oahray:
abeg eee.. You spoilt it with talk about marriage at 14. No one is mature at 14, not physically and certainly not emotionally.

Em... Age has everything to do with it. All other conditions (genes, experience and environment) being constant (and equal for everyone), maturity is directly proportional to age (time). Even experience is a function of age and exposure.

While the op's 30 years estimate is off the mark, as people differ, no one should rush into marriage.

Did you read what I said? Didn't I add that 14 ain't right. Or u just want to quote me. What you will say is that people should know about marriage before jumping into marriage. What I meant was that my grandmother got married at d age of 14 nd she was happy in her marriage till 54 when she died so don't say girls are rushing into marriage when they are 21,22,23...... So after school nd getting a job she will start dating till 30,35.. Or she will reject the suitors cos she is not 30, 35.

yorubaboiy:
its not love dats sustains a marriage relationship....its simply FRIENDSHIP.....y wont u galx just gt dart into ur heads for once

friendship plus love

MsBliss:

friendship plus love

hun moti gbo

biologicaly, it has been proven that ladies hu marries late alwyz hav difficulty wit child bearin... Its adviceabl to get married as a young lady provided u ar sure of hu u ar tiein d knots with... Age isnt d determinant factor as to whether a marraige ll wrk out or not...it al boils dwn to maturity, friendshp, luv n oda ingridient dat makz relatnshipz wrkout...so its very much ok for ladies in deir early 20z to get married as long as dey ar ready for it...gbam!!!

BennyQuin:
biologicaly, it has been proven that ladies hu marries late alwyz hav difficulty wit child bearin... Its adviceabl to get married as a young lady provided u ar sure of hu u ar tiein d knots with... Age isnt d determinant factor as to whether a marraige ll wrk out or not...it al boils dwn to maturity, friendshp, luv n oda ingridient dat makz relatnshipz wrkout...so its very much ok for ladies in deir early 20z to get married as long as dey ar ready for it...gbam!!!

Perfectly said

yorubaboiy:
hun moti gbo

I didn't understand that

MsBliss:

I didn't understand that

lol....it simply means have heard

yorubaboiy:
lol....it simply means have heard

okw

Oahray:
abeg eee.. You spoilt it with talk about marriage at 14. No one is mature at 14, not physically and certainly not emotionally.

Em... Age has everything to do with it. All other conditions (genes, experience and environment) being constant (and equal for everyone), maturity is directly proportional to age (time). Even experience is a function of age and exposure.

While the op's 30 years estimate is off the mark, as people differ, no one should rush into marriage.

thanks for the bail. My main arguement is not even the age....all am trying to say is the "rush effect". The kind of attitude girls exhibit as soon as they are getting close to the final year in school. They tend to be aware of everyone getting married around them. That is, even thou they know within demselves that they are still psychollogically unprepared for marriage, their show of emotion, constant nagging and pretentious readiness might blackmail the guy into aceeding to their request. In light of this, some sheepish girl who doesnt have d prior knowledge of a typical school girl i just painted, will be so jealous and envious and begin to also exhibit the "rush effect" in her own presnt relationship as well. And the trend goes on and on.

Now, the caustic effect this trend has on the marriage institution is alarming. High rate of divorse, high case of matrimonial abuse, increase in cases of abadoned children etc.

So am not particular about the age, my focus is on the mentality. Thank you

Blossom023:
30? Are u joking? U think marriage is about the age? Its about maturity. My grandmother got married at d age of 14. Not that im saying its good but age is nothing. When you marry at 30.. When will u start having children, when will u start family planning. At d age of 40. U are still having kids? Common. When did omotola get married. 18.. A friend of mine got married once she clocked 20. By d time u reach 30,35. It will become prayer point. Some people even in dia 30's are still immature. Its about d mindset.

My main arguement is not even the age....all am trying to say is the "rush effect". The kind of attitude girls exhibit as soon as they are getting close to the final year in school. They tend to be aware of everyone getting married around them. That is, even thou they know within demselves that they are still psychollogically unprepared for marriage, their show of emotion, constant nagging and pretentious readiness might blackmail the guy into aceeding to their request. In light of this, some sheepish girl who doesnt have d prior knowledge of a typical school girl i just painted, will be so jealous and envious and begin to also exhibit the "rush effect" in her own presnt relationship as well. And the trend goes on and on.

Now, the caustic effect this trend has on the marriage institution is alarming. High rate of divorse, high case of matrimonial abuse, increase in cases of abadoned children etc.

So am not particular about the age, my focus is on the mentality. Thank you

jrerico1:
When you have trained your daughter, she'll just wake up one morning "I don't want to mary anyone", how many Nigerian parent can take that??

brozZz enlighten me on that angle you just took

yorubaboiy:
dey are still young ...so dey think marriage is a childs play....

abi ooo

Blossom023:


Did you read what I said? Didn't I add that 14 ain't right. Or u just want to quote me. What you will say is that people should know about marriage before jumping into marriage. What I meant was that my grandmother got married at d age of 14 nd she was happy in her marriage till 54 when she died so don't say girls are rushing into marriage when they are 21,22,23...... So after school nd getting a job she will start dating till 30,35.. Or she will reject the suitors cos she is not 30, 35.

no she wont. Lets assume bimpe is 21 and in her final year. Now bimpe can only marry if 1. She presently has a fiance and not a boyfriend. 2. If the fiance is working or has a regular source of income. 3. If both of them are sure and prepared. 4. Bimpe herself has a way of being independent in the marriage etc.

But all the listed above criterias are not always met when most of this girls are in school at age 20 21. Often times they sacrifice this enormous criteria for love and jump eyes-blinded in the ship without remorse. Afterall, they just want to married like nkechi and funke,every other factors remain constant

scentmarlc:
brozZz enlighten me on that angle you just took

some ladies will just decide not to get married, They're earning well, they don't have feelings for men because of their past experience, The parent of such won't be happy.

Age doesn't really matter.... It's all about maturity...

BennyQuin:
biologicaly, it has been proven that ladies hu marries late alwyz hav difficulty wit child bearin... Its adviceabl to get married as a young lady provided u ar sure of hu u ar tiein d knots with... Age isnt d determinant factor as to whether a marraige ll wrk out or not...it al boils dwn to maturity, friendshp, luv n oda ingridient dat makz relatnshipz wrkout...so its very much ok for ladies in deir early 20z to get married as long as dey ar ready for it...gbam!!!

the last statement is a summary of my "bone of contention"