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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. (89062 Views)
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Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kilode100(f): 6:38am On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles: Your type of man ![]() ![]() Wait until you lose your job, and your insecurities set in and then you start to wonder if your woman has been stepping out on you afterall she is a confessed philanderer... That is when you will know the type of man that you are ![]() ![]() 36 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by bellong: 6:42am On May 28, 2015 |
Madam, Coming clean is the right foundation for every relationship. There is nothing hidden that shall not be exposed, either now or later. It is better you suffer the shame early than suffer a lifetime pain of agony. It is unwise advising people to keep secrets from potential spouse. If issues later happen, same people would blame the victim for not coming out clean. You have aborted before in Japan and it affected your womb, because you married in Nigeria, you decided to keep it to yourself. Your end torture will be greater than if you had confessed. In any relationship, honesty, sincerity and openness are the foundational keys to success. Anything outside these is deceit and the relationship becomes a disaster waiting to happen. If you know that what you are doing may ruin your future relationship, why continue in it or attempt doing it? I don't advise keeping shut. However, wisdom and discretion are the principal things. @story one, what gives you the impression that your husband doesn't know about the sorry tales? 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by cococandy(f): 6:51am On May 28, 2015 |
You will be greatly misunderstood. And misinterpreted on this thread. It's a controversial one. Wait for it. 8 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kilode100(f): 6:58am On May 28, 2015 |
bellong: Coming clean you say ![]() ![]() It's only below average men that are interested in such nonsense.... What will it achieve to sit down with a man that there is no guarantee that he will be there till death do us part to tell him dirt's about my past... Anyway the truth is that there is no man born of a woman that can handle my past. 1,I have sucked many unwashed ass holes... 2,I used to like been beaten before getting fhucked. 3,I love foursome a lot... I take on three guys at once.. 4,I lost count of abortions but I ve two adorable kids to call mine now. 5,I ve repented completely. Do you still think I should spill ![]() 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by elantraceey(f): 7:00am On May 28, 2015 |
Nice but as for the third one, In some cases its better to tell than for him to find out himself later. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:02am On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:In as much as a agree to disagree with ur points, I am the one with the Ji and nmma and I am the one paying the dowry , every surprising surprise is not permitted, I have a high self esteemed and I wount tolerate some side talks like you see that one I don ******* If you tell me I already have a bumper and know how to address issues accordingly. So therefore any secret that I will eventually discover u better tell me. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:07am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100:What type of Man u asked, so you don't know that there are people who forgives the greatest of injustice, crime or harm done to them, do u think everybody is same? Remember she confessed of a deed done long ago not recent so therefore it doesn't count, remember forgiveness heals all if not most wounds. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:09am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100:Now I think or am forced to believe you have a very sick mind to conjure all these things, Smh. 9 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by bellong: 7:15am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100: Any man who can't handle whatever information you share is better to let go. What you will gain from talking about it is because there is likelyhood that he will get the info outside and he will lose the trust, faith and love he had for you. It is not Hollywood movie. Anyway the truth is that there is no man born of a woman that can handle my past. Another truth is that I know men who have handled worse cases than yours. At least you never lost your womb. You need to first understand why you are going into a relationship and the purpose. Anybody in relationship irrepective of gender should be given the opportunity to make an informed decision. Some may not be able to handle it but some will. There is always someone for someone. I have learnt to always sleep peacefully at night by not withholding information that may cause me grief if found out. And like I said in my previous post, if you know what you are doing is detrimental to future happiness or joy, why engage in it? 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kilode100(f): 7:16am On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles: You think ![]() Smh for you! Newsflash!!... There are people with worse crimes and BTW,there are more from where that came from.. I haven't even told him about the my canine experiences yet, and he is already on the run.. ![]() ![]() Woof Woof.... Yea right. 32 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kilode100(f): 7:19am On May 28, 2015 |
bellong: Letting go you say ![]() Hahaha.... With all these scarcity of averagely good husbands ![]() Nah... I will take my chances and take each day as it goes. 27 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:20am On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:And now for posting this I am scared of you, hope you are not what my mind is telling me right now, What makes u think every thing is a secret? Someone or something knows, I wonder when a woman that thinks one ways now feels she is smart in cheating, if u cheat and tell me there is an 80 % chances I will forgive u than when I found out. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:23am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100:Hahahahhahahahahhaha this jus made my morning, anyway as long as you only eat the meat and not mate the dog I am cool, because I don't condone mutants and mutations 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Moana(f): 7:23am On May 28, 2015 |
Thank you babyosisi You are a wise woman 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by bellong: 7:26am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100: Those you call averagely good husband can as well call you same. The law of life, life attracts life. Same attracts same. Iron sharpeneth iron. It is in science the case is reversed and few situations in life. 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Moana(f): 7:27am On May 28, 2015 |
cococandy:my thoughts exactly 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kilode100(f): 7:29am On May 28, 2015 |
bellong: I think you are right and I agree with you and that's why my secrets stays with me. Average man= Average information. 27 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Moana(f): 7:32am On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles:im not in support of any the things the poster said she did in her past, but neither will i judge her. What i would like to know is if you have been completely honest in every relationship you have ever had? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by thorpido(m): 7:36am On May 28, 2015 |
I won't agree that you keep all details of your past as a woman.A woman who has lived in the past as a prostitute should tell.If you have had an abortion too,you should tell(many sexually active girls must have done one at least from what i see in the hospitals). If a married woman cheats on her husband,she should confess and ask for forgiveness.For most women,their conscience wouldn't even let them rest though women are becoming hard-hearted nowadays. I hear guys asking a girl how many men she has slept with.I don't think I will answer that question if i was a girl as long as you didn't meet me a virgin. 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 7:54am On May 28, 2015 |
Moana:Do u know one funny thing about my relationships? They are any girl I am dating have this I am not the only one this guy is seeing, infact there is this new girl ( in fact two) that has this crush on me, each time we chat they will always ask me about my girlfriend which sometimes I am reluctant to discuss with them, the truth is that I noticed something about me, many things that might make some men angry hardly make me, it's only some small things that do, an ex told me that she has never seen me angry with her and want to see, but the day she saw it she was amazed because it was a simple thing (LIE) ask me about my past I will tell you because I know it's not out of the ordinary. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Moana(f): 7:57am On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles:so how well can you say, you have been practising what you preach about honesty? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 8:05am On May 28, 2015 |
dBard: ![]() Believe me, I don't enjoy the f v m fights too. Ya, I agree with you, most women...and men who have cheated only 'confess' after they're caught. I guess it's because telling one's spouse, "I cheated on you" should top the most difficult words to utter. It's good to know too that more than a few relationships have survived unfaithfulness. But I'm not so sure if by 'relationships' you meant marriage or dating/courtship though. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by InyinyaAgbaOku(m): 8:07am On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: it is even wicked to tell someone you cheated on her. like you said, it doesn't change anything positively. The union can never remain the same 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by totalhouse(m): 8:07am On May 28, 2015 |
It can't be anyway better than the way you have presented it. Well said gaborone.very well on point. [quote author =Gaborone post=34162909]I beg to differ...I don't agree with Number 3. You cheat on your spouse, you tell them, otherwise, every other day in the marriage would be a lie. If confessing sounds like a difficult thing to do, then stay away from the crime. It's one of those things that doesnt just go away, and confessing it to God alone isn't enough; you have to confess it to the other party who you swore to be faithful to. ^^^^ This is the message we should preach, not deceit through silence.[/quote] 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 8:08am On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100:@4, are you saying you won't tell your partner you have children elsewhere? ? ![]() We treated this topic at our marriage counselling class like two weeks ago, the counsellor concluded by saying that any past which will be detrimental to the future must be made known to your partner before tying the knot, eg fertility problems, children outside wedlock, an illness that runs in your family, Diseases you may hv currently. .. etcccc He equally said some things are better left under the rug except when asked, like how many men/women you've slept with, eetttccc... 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 8:10am On May 28, 2015 |
Moana:No one can claim perfection, But I have this thing with me, to some level I am honest Infact I tell myself and sometimes people that I hardly tell lies my word should be me. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 8:12am On May 28, 2015 |
If you're scared of consequences of an action, then why engage in it?? You should be able to take responsibilities for your actions. ... 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Moana(f): 8:14am On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles:can you say its easier to tell others to be something you are not yourself? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Momcherry(f): 8:15am On May 28, 2015 |
Yes..I agree there are things u keep secret but there are issues you don't keep secret. Eg. A friend of mine once told me of a friend whose husband of 6yrs doesn't know that her father is not really her father but her uncle. I was like 'what'?? Such minor issue? So, what if the guy happens to find out someday(which I'm sure he will)? Will there still be trust? 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Setaje(f): 8:20am On May 28, 2015 |
Mynd44: Sorry o that is just one in a million men. Honestly I have come to the conclusion that people hate the truth. Especially when it comes to body count and past relationships. I always say that if u never met a woman a virgin u can never no how many men she has slept wiv. That is a fact. The world is too big to count. Even if someone from somewhere no her wiv 5 to 10 guys, the others wey the person no no nko!. An average Nigerian girl who is not a virgin and the ones claiming no sex before marriage even when she no be virgin. Is either doing it because her body count don pass her age, or because of religion. An average Nigerian girl who is not a virgin will tell u she has slept wiv 3 to 4 men all her life. She will never add the mistakes, use and dump, the rape, the one night stand and the sugar daddies. Never ever!. Chances are u might never no any of the men or u might see just one or two of them. So it's her words against yours. If it's past it should remain there and never be said. Secondly I blame all this on deceit. A lot of people both male and female are not honest. I mean u meet a guy or a lady, u think he/she is the right one. U do things lovers do and suddenly one starts loosing interest and stops trying. The other cheats. Then no money, hatred sets in. Etc. Finally break up. U meet another one, the same thing. Ok o u decide to be celibate. U eventually marry and find out this men and women are not different from the old ones. They just have a ring on the finger. Life itself is a gamble. A very big and terrible gamble. We have been told that if u do something this way. U are bound to get a reply that way. Only for u to do the right thing and see your whole world crashing in front of u. That brings me to virgins. By all means necessary keep it but do not think u are entitled to a good man. This is what virgins say when their men finally betrays them. Virginity is for yourself and right to brag. Choosing a man is by your brain. The value of a woman is known by a man and your sex life or past relationship which u value might mean nothing to the man u eventually marry. If life was fair. Hoes shouldn't be getting wifed. Virgins should marry virgins and good things should only happen to good people. 22 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by dinachi(m): 8:21am On May 28, 2015 |
I had always known the Op to be a fraud on relationship issues! Imagine advicing spouses to keep secrets from each other so that one imaginary respect go dey. She forgets that the foundation of every relationship is openness. That is exactly why most marriages are based on fake assumptions and love that is not genuine. People keep vital information from each other yet claim they are deep in love! That is why you see cases where HIV positive individuals keep it to themselves, get married and infect their partners all in a bid to be "respected". Most sins kept secret will resurge again later in life. But if you tell your partner about your weaknessess, he/she will be able to even advice when he/she see you heading down that route again. A former prostitute who kept her life secret from her husband will likely relapse into the lifestyle again! If you are hiding information from your husband or wife, then know that is the biggest pointer that you are not with whom you trust and respect! You are actually lonely! 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by hopeforcharles(m): 8:29am On May 28, 2015 |
Moana:Now I have the feeling like I am been drilled, anyway, I have experience I advices or tell people things based on what I feel is truth and, or what I have done or what I would do if it's me. |
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