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Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by nanalady(f): 2:29pm On May 28, 2015 |
[quote author=babyosisi post=34162706] Exactly Especially if you know he will use it against you,you don't need to tell him about every man that has poked you Unnecessary detail If you worked as a hooker( ashawo) and has turned a new leaf,you are free to keep that detail to yourself It's not necessary to share all that worthless tale in order to appear honest Old things are passed away,leave them that way He isn't telling you all of his so you need to keep yours too Don't show out yourself in a terrible light and destroy your reputation by blabbing about details of your past,destroying yourself with your own mouth. If you had 5 abortions ,must you talk about them with your man? What for? Has he told you how many abortions he sponsored? O ho So why the deta... ....kai..lwkmd |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by jeo4u(m): 2:29pm On May 28, 2015 |
WHY SHOULD SHE DO ASHAWO IN THE FIRST PLACE? :PWHY SHOULD SHE DO ASHAWO IN THE FIRST PLACE? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Originalsly: 2:31pm On May 28, 2015 |
Life never was... and never will be fair when it comes to men and women issues. What a man can get away with a woman would be condemned for the same. No sane man readily admits to cheating..... and even when he does no stigma is attached. So why are we expecting men to be fessing up? Get real. Women need to fess up from jump... about everything...because should the man ever find out on his own....he becomes deaf to explanations and pleas for forgiveness...and the woman immediately is seen as a ehmmmm...bishhh...and treated as such. Is it fair?...no but like I said.... life was and never would be fair...that's just the way it is. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by FluffySucre(f): 2:31pm On May 28, 2015 |
it's best u don't keep secrets, ur spouse or spouse to be should knw. whatever it is, even issues u think that are embarrassing or so bad in ur birth family. truth is, u and ur family aren't living in ur own little world and words spreads like wild fire, plus u can never tell who would tell him. A nairalander told a story of a lady's aunt who told her husband to be, 2days before their wedding abt the lady's past, hoping to pour San San for the girl garri but failed cos the lady already told the guy herself. so whether it's a secret from ur past or ur family's u should tell cos u can never tell who will leak it out, and if u check very well it's usually a relative or friend who leaks those secrets you want kept to ur spouse or spouse to be. you and ur spouse will be all lovey dovey, then suddenly he hears from someone abt those secrets, I don't think it will be pleasant, even after u apologise and seems to ve settled, your spouse will always wonder what monster secrets u re still keeping #myopinion. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by bukatyne(f): 2:34pm On May 28, 2015 |
LuvSwollenPussy: You are right, only Bill could say |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 2:40pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: My GF whom I take seriously had a somewhat wild past which she told me about, and I respect her for that. A year after she did, we are still together. She even had casual sex with someone I knew & she never dated back in school. She was that wild, but it's beneath me using it against her. I'm her exact opposite, but I still respect her for her honesty. If I had heard it from someone else, it would have been disastrous. Really disastrous. If you must keep such details from your man, keep it well & be sure he never finds out. If he's someone like me & he eventually does, he will kill you... slowly, a divorce won't even cut it . Even you will be surprised how much of a beast he has become. Honesty & openness is key in sustaining any kind of relationship. 4 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by ApexTitan(m): 2:40pm On May 28, 2015 |
Timbuktou: You obviously hold on to a rudimentary definition of virginity that is why you can still refer to anyone who engages in oral or ànal sex as a virgin. That's a form of foolishness that can only avenge itself with heartbreak and disappointment. Men must hold their women to the highest standards if they choose to marry or they should hold aloof. Marriage is not for everyone. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by dBard: 2:41pm On May 28, 2015 |
BABE3: Beautiful..well said Respect.. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 2:52pm On May 28, 2015 |
With the kinda comments I've read here, Lord knows if anything happens to my current relationship, I'll have to marry a virgin or stay single for the rest of my life. Some ladies are just monsters. 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kinglekan: 2:58pm On May 28, 2015 |
Ploutos: [b] Hmmmm!! Interesting stuff! I want to play the "devils advocate" here by agreeing with the OP to some extent. Her first point is right on track. Why would you want to tell your hubby silly gossips by another woman talking ill of his parents. Whether they are true or not, those details should stay with you. Revealing them to your hubby might just bring about repugnance and hostility towards the person. Trust me we don't need all that negative vibe around us. First off, the information might be an entire farce and if not, of what importance would that information be to her hubby? A virtuous woman would rather stay away from her friends mum, as such company only reeks of silly and negative gossips. Point two isn't out of place also. Yeah it sounds somewhat controversial, but I think certain things should be rather left unspoken. The family integrity should be kept intact. Certain issues wouldn't make any difference if left undisturbed. I would like to lay emphasis on the part where the OP said; [/b] "...So don't go around painting your parents and siblings in a terrible light." [b] Again I ask the question, of what good would such information do to your hubby? Well except you are sharing an information so as to learn from past experiences, sharing something that paints your parents terrible is totally wrong. The bible categorically states honour your father and mother......." It didn't of course put any clause to that. So honour your parents in absentia. Her third point, hmmmm highly controversial I must say. But of course like I said earlier, I would play the devils advocate and agree to an extent also. I do not in anyway support infidelity or any sort. Plus I believe in openness, trust and sincerity. Therein lies the foundation of a true christian marriage. But for the sake of this discuss and considering the fact that not all are devout christians. I would like to say if a woman happens to cross that line, the first place she should seek counsel would be through her pastor. He would be able to guide her as to how to go about telling her husband. But then again looking at the OPs angle to it. The truth might end the marriage. The deed has been done and that cannot change. If they have kids, they would probably be subjecting them to a broken home. If you ask me, raising children in a broken home has dire effects on the kids, their beliefs, ideologies, etc, as they grow up. So ask God for forgiveness and move on for your kids sake. Cc:Babyosisi [/b] |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by PreciousBro: 2:59pm On May 28, 2015 |
I man once asked me if told to choose between a wise woman and an intelligent one ,I said I'd go for the wise one because the wise woman is an intelligent woman. Sorry there is no sense or ounce of wisdom in this advise because it doesn't in any way represent the truth. The truth is what will set you free, forgiveness strives in openness. You can't cheat on your spouse or have a bad past record and not tell your spouse about it,it is deceit. That will mean you aren't remorseful, a repentant mind/soul is a free one and a free person sees other opportunities, if you're truly remorseful,another closed door will open. Nothing stands against the truth,its a bold step further to unwind the future barricades. How do you ask God for forgiveness when you aren't true, if you did abortion in ibadan, married someone in Enugu, that same womb is what followed you from Ibadan and stayed with you in Enugu with your spouse. This thread reflects a clear case of you trying to eat your cake and still having it when you say he doesn't have to know and that you could lose him by telling him,why should that bother a repentant heart owing to the fact that you agree you are guilty,surely still keeping your spouse should be the least of your worries so long as you have done what is required by your God. Don't think for men, using that as an excuse that men don't talk so why should you talk. You exist on your own and should take responsibilities for your own self. Do what is right please! 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by BABE3: 2:59pm On May 28, 2015 |
9jatatafo: what is wrong with you people? ? What has this got to do with me? I asked, is it true everyone has secrets? Yes or no? It's hard having a conversation with you lots. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Fourwinds: 3:00pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:I will know. I see things thru various means but not diabolical. by d. special grace and gift bestow on me by God. hmmmm is a mstter of time it will reveal |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by oshe11: 3:04pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:imagine her say 'lucky' advice lyk dese leads to divorce...... If U cnt confess y do it abi to use mouth konfess hard pass to Open Pu.ssy 4 sum1 dats nt ur husband? SMH(slowly) 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by berbajiday(m): 3:06pm On May 28, 2015 |
Too much sense u made. God bless u Gaborone: 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 3:07pm On May 28, 2015 |
kinglekan:We're not talking about the involvement of kids here. What's on ground is a situation where two guys are about to get serious with their relationship. You don't see it necessary to be open?? A case where one's spouse(man or woman) has an ugly past and keeps it to him/herself thereby building the marriage on lies and fraud. I like to know the person I am marrying - both past and present. It wouldn't be a funny experience to find out later that she made you commit to someone you really didn't know. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Orkpekyandega(m): 3:08pm On May 28, 2015 |
The message here is deductive and similar to what the bible says in Ecclesiastes 11:9 King James Bible version: Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these [things] God will bring thee into judgment. Its quit unfortunate that so many people especially the youth, go about behaving any how, forgeting that the would always come a day of judgement/giving account. The message is simple- live a faithful life. A life that you can always share with people and God's name will be glorified than living carelessly and looking for ways to hide or maintain the hidding cocroaches in the dark cupboard. Remember one day most of us will be fathers and mothers. Will you be bold enough to look your children straight in the face to correct them when they go wrong? 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by oshe11: 3:09pm On May 28, 2015 |
kilode100:y U go cheat b4, U neva c anytin sef 3 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by berbajiday(m): 3:10pm On May 28, 2015 |
Lmao nice analogy such a braniac Gaborone: 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by lastpage: 3:17pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: Crap! There is NO SECRET UNDER HEAVEN as they say! Just imagine after keeping that secret for years, only for your Hubby to "find Out" accidentally or otherwise, BY HIMSELF! That means whatever integrity you have tried to build over the years, is destroyed and wasted.... moreso, h enow begins to wonder "what else" he is yet to find out? Basically, you have destroyed the TRUST within your own household..... and most likely your marriage is a goner at that point. For me, l will rather "confess" and be scolded or even suffer the consequence, than try to hide it. Any 'reasonable man' who actually loves and trust you will, in his own quiet time (after the anger and disappointment has subsided) realize he is better-off with the Devil he knows, than the Angel he does not know or trust. It might even serve as a point of 're-connection and stronger bond' between the two partners. The TRUTH will always preserve you, in the long run. Confessing to "God" while not confessing and seeking forgiveness from the "victim", hiding it in a corner of your heart while you profess love to your husband/wife is nothing but filth in the sight of God and reeks of hypocrisy! You cant mock God, which is how it pans-out Marriage is based on "absolute trust", not some "make-believe, half-truth smartness" .......because unless you dont do it, it will one day come to light! But then, not all men are reasonable......... So, telling fellow women in this "blanket form" to lie and deceive their hubby, is just border-line wickedness, IMO. The elderly women (figuratively) should teach the younger ones and impart good values in them.... but if they dont have any good value to impart, they are better-of keeping quiet so as not to infest the younger ones with their own corruptibility and malfeasance. Having said allthe above, a serial cheat needs not confess because your confession becomes meaningless, once you keep repeating the same thing over and over. You are better-of bailing out and staying with the person you prefer to cheat with. No be by force except you are one of the greedy types who want to "Still have their Cake,.... after Eating it"! Marriage as defined and prescribed by God and our Forefathers, is supposed to be the most blissful thing for humans and l feel sad when l see what some have turned it into, due to their "Arrogance, Greed and Selfishness". We need to retrace our steps, parents..... especially Mothers, need to impart good values in their daughters (if it is in them as well, ab initio), fathers need to inculcate discipline, responsibility and love in their children, especially Male children so that when a man from such home, meets another woman from another home with similar moral values, their Union would be lasting because it is based on "solid foundation", ... .......not all these ones that "teach their gender or younger ones how to "cheat and survive" in their marriage! Yea, my ten cents. Lastpage! 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by charles316: 3:17pm On May 28, 2015 |
TooNoisy: thank you jare. you see why people like the op and her likes shouldn't be allowed to give advice on this forum. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by oshe11: 3:19pm On May 28, 2015 |
TooNoisy:she is jst tryin to remuv d guilt of holdin on to ha past n kipin it 4rm ha hubby by confusin(nt convincing) hasef 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kumbalo2014: 3:19pm On May 28, 2015 |
Mynd44: this is my best comment. I don't want to believe i can't trust her. She should tell me before I find out 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by delishpot: 3:20pm On May 28, 2015 |
Mynd44: Kai, that aunty na winch o. See how persons enemy dey cone from his/her own blood? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kenex4ever(m): 3:22pm On May 28, 2015 |
Gaborone:this is just Like telling ur university to withdraw ur certificate after years of post graduation just because u cheated in one of the exams. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 3:23pm On May 28, 2015 |
lastpage: I believe my posts are self explanatory No need huffing and puffing dear 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kenex4ever(m): 3:24pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:u just made lies to look enticing 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 3:24pm On May 28, 2015 |
delishpot: That is the stupidity of women I speak of We talk too much and it is destroying people's lives What right has an aunty to go blabbing about a girl's past Who asked Her Is her nephew a saint? 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by VintageCocktail(m): 3:25pm On May 28, 2015 |
hopeforcharles:Nananana....extreme openness breeds contempt , resentment and the likes Wonder how many guys that have told their wives the number of cult killings they have engaged in while in the higher institution, the number of abortions they have sponsored, their favourite ashawo and number of ashawo and brothels they have visited.....the rituals they are planning on etc You don't spill until it is absolutely necessary, spill at your own expense. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by zubby29(m): 3:28pm On May 28, 2015 |
oh my God!u are so so brillant.thumbs up Setaje: 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Jwhizzy(m): 3:29pm On May 28, 2015 |
People don't judge the sins that favour them. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 3:30pm On May 28, 2015 |
VintageCocktail: This is especially for people who have deep things they did in the past Digging it up is fruitless For what? So the man can call you honest or pity you or what I never asked my husband how many abortions he sponsored,I don't wanna know, I never had any abortions and he didn't ask either If I had any abortions, perhaps I wouldn't divulge that info Not necessary People should be mature and reason like mature people ,especially women,we talk too much Man touch you for waist,you begin to even spill secrets you swore to friends you won't reveal about them Very foolish Keep some things in your heart Many Women go through several boyfriends and suitors before marriage so every boyfriend you meet,you will be telling your abortion stories and your sexcapades ,ruining your rep with your own god given lips kwa Mbanu That is sheer foolishness |
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