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Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by ApexTitan(m): 5:45pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: My comment was for when you said what are the chances of the woman getting married again in that area. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 5:46pm On May 28, 2015 |
eddychis: Only a naive wife will fall for this scam and intimidation Sorry A woman errs and flirts with a man and then she should run home and say honey by the way I flirted with one man when she has desisted from that foolishness. Why are you giving people pills you can't even swallow yourself Eh Why! 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 5:51pm On May 28, 2015 |
Our parents all told us to keep away from boys Did I go telling my mom when I got with a boy Certainly not Does that mean I lied and deceived my mother and father and ought to confess because the bible says obey your mom and dad and until I did that no forgiveness? That is what people are saying here because it is about women People use your common sense please You disobeyed,you made amends and turned from it,you moved on in a mature way |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 5:52pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: Sincerely, if to say the nigerian society is not so judgemental and hypocritical as it is, absolute openess would not be a prblem at all. The slut shaming rampant nowadays ehn.... damn too much! Go to instagram and see how peeps embarrass themselves with slut shaming. Once you arm someone with dirty secrets, just have it at the back of your mind that they are now public knowledge. Once things go sour between you two, your story will be all over the place. Just imagine girls opening their mouths so fast even when they are nt asked WA WA WA like parrots then the dude will just be staring at you like WTF then start plotting his 'chop and clean mouth' move after which he will disappear into the thin air!! Then they start to wonder why the dude broke up with them. No wonder! This our brain should be used as a sieve. No be everything person dey talk o. Only talk when its neccessary abeg. 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 5:53pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: Its possible that all men have impregnated a woman, and caused an abortion............highly plausible....... So all men men have the same dirty secrets and are bloody hypocrites.. So all ladies shouldn't bother to come out clean even if the man in question regards it as important..(for his own reasons whatsoever).since there is a 100% chance he's a hypocrite......... It all makes sense now....thumbs up babyosisi. ( have you ever considered been a marriage consultant, u'd do very great ) 4 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kenex4ever(m): 5:54pm On May 28, 2015 |
1stCitizen:bros u see fake for wetin I write? U wan tell me say throughout ur university (that's if applicable) u never ask ur friend question for test or exam (or any other form of minor cheating like copying assignment)? So for dat reason u go reject ur cert n start afresh. If na so then d lightening of the thunder wen go fire alone go burn bush. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 5:57pm On May 28, 2015 |
oseod: People misquote me and misread me and add pepper to my posts Men are keeping their stories,women please keep yours That is my message The consequences are grave in our society Talk less Come clean to your God and end it there for the most part don't give any information that was not asked and if asked,you have a right not to answer or answer it in your own way Babyosisi were you an ashawo ? Answer Azubuike what type of question is that,I was not a virgin when I met you,I have a past just like you do and the important thing is that I am faithful to you and will never step out on you Full stop That is the answer to that question 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by shrekandfiona: 5:57pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:. Babe, you are entitled to your opinion / views how be it weird. I still love you. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 28, 2015 |
shrekandfiona: I said if there are chances he knows your past then by all means come clean when asked Wisdom is the key 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 6:02pm On May 28, 2015 |
Chei lunch time Make una continue I have wasted my office time on this stupeed nairaland Chai |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 6:02pm On May 28, 2015 |
kenex4ever: Bro I be primary 2 drop out. I no know book at all so my papa no let me go school. Even teasher no gree teash me sef, but I smart enough to know the difference between an analogy and whether statement dey directed at you. Peace! |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Acidosis(m): 6:06pm On May 28, 2015 |
What if the woman damaged her womb with abortion drugs? Truth will always come to light my sister. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by shrekandfiona: 6:07pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:note that at the time I was answering his questions, I didn't even know there were rumours about me in the org. It was when he told me later I knew and by the way the rumours weren't even true. So my stand is irrespective of chances of him knowing your past or not, come out clean. The truth liberates. Can't stress that enough. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kenex4ever(m): 6:10pm On May 28, 2015 |
1stCitizen:bros dsame here, mine no dey directed at u, na analogy. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Harmony10: 6:12pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: The mistakes that a lot of people make about relationships is to generalize. That is my options. I think your actions and inactions in any relationships should depend on the two people involved. Human beings is the most difficult concept to study because of the dynamism to our life. So it is very difficult to guide and steer our lives based on catchy, straightforward Rules. We are usually poor when applying rules. A times we get it right. Other times we over apply the rules and therefore get it all wrong. One thing we leave concerning Rules is CIRCUMSTANCES. Circumstances makes some actions inappropriate. So basically, I believe that people should consider a lot of factors when making decisions about their relationship. These includes: The Persons of the two People, The ideals of the People, the way they have chosen to relate with each other etc. No two individuals are the same. Hence, No two Relationships can ever be the same. My Opinion!!! 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Kimoni: 6:14pm On May 28, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Na so o I was shocked when I saw Oshobaba advising people to stop messing around And nearly fainted when he said he married a virgin For im mind now, he is very smart Chop orisirisi, clean mouth, come marry virgin Hahahhahahahhahahaha The wildest of them forming alpha males are usually the most gullible but they never realize it 2 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Edusouls(m): 6:23pm On May 28, 2015 |
nothing can be hidden from under the sun forever, one day it will one way or the other leak, women and their secretive and dirty lives they lead makes them live in deception and chains of lies and lies to cover up past deeds, and why should everywoman beleive in lying to cover their pasts? This shows that most women lead a dirty life,and thats why its difficult for these extremely deceptive species to see heaven,they are born deceptive and they die dirty,sinful,secretive and super deceptive.. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by BlackOnassis(m): 6:29pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: Ashawo and abortions are "worthless tales"? OMG! Guys, are you listening? We are in deep soup 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by cococandy(f): 6:31pm On May 28, 2015 |
BlackOnassis:if you guys want to stop being in deep soup, zip your pants. Your penisses contribute to ashawo business and is the main reason why abortion takes place. You have part of the blame too. 6 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by BlackOnassis(m): 6:33pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: I will tell u what purpose it serves. It gives him the option to quit the relationship or stick with you pimples and all. I think that's better than conning each other into a relationship. 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 6:37pm On May 28, 2015 |
cococandy: 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by nicerod(m): 6:39pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi:i ddnt say she's foolish o. It doesnt mean i'l dump her |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by BlackOnassis(m): 6:41pm On May 28, 2015 |
cococandy: I think we should try to stick to the topic here. The topic is about coming clean to your spouse about the things you've done in the past that can affect your long term relationship. If a lady is going to hide an abortion and involvement in prostitution as "worthless tales", I really want to know what counts as worthy tales in your books. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Nobody: 6:43pm On May 28, 2015 |
cococandy: Gbam! They are complaining of ladies being runz babes. who patronise them? The same men shaming them. Who gets ladies pregnant? the same men shaming them. Who supports abortion? The same men shaming them. You want virgins or ladies with no dirty secrets? Then be clean and control the third leg. Simple!! Will they listen? NO!! So let the unfortunate men marry the a.shawos and ladies without wombs. Make una marry una selves. Karma for real. Nothing can be done. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by cococandy(f): 6:55pm On May 28, 2015 |
BlackOnassis: Ok So would you confess to your wife how many times you have patronized prostitutes or told your ex to have an abortion because you weren't ready to be a father? That just serves no purpose. As far as I'm concerned, there are no worthy tales as such except if you have cause to believe you're infertile or have a health problem that can affect your marriage. If you knew about it before marriage, then definitely tell or else the marriage is null and void. But if there's no such dangers and you're just blabbing because you want to offload your guilt on another person and put them in a tight corner, there's no need for that. The old me is the kind of girl that would probably confess all because I have this nagging voice in my head whenever I'm in love that makes me want it to be as pure as possible. And to me that meant confessing all no matter how minute because I thought it would help. But Maturity has taken over. Now I know such things don't pay. Serves no purpose. Doesn't make the relationship better and worse of all hurts the man you love. If I did it before I met you, if it has no way of affecting our health or childbearing possibilities, if it won't come back to be in your face (eg things like dating your husband's old friend can come back in your face. So that I'd tell him.) if it is not any of those,it belongs in the past. I'll leave it there. Ces't finis. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by ApexTitan(m): 6:56pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: Madam you are under the impression that the same rules apply to men and women alike. When it comes to inter-gender relations different rules apply to the different genders. This is something that many modern day people refuse to come to terms with. A man with a past, let's say a vast history of previous sexual encounters is not castigated on account of that fact (like a woman), he is not looked down upon even by his prospective wife because of this. Once he has demonstrated his provisioning ability to a woman he is romantically involved with she still remains attracted to him even if she is aware of any past that he has. Take a look in the society around you and see if this isn't true. The woman on the other hand is best served if she comes clean at the beginning of the relationship with regards to her past. Many a man will rethink his decision to enter into a monogamous relationship with a woman after learning of her "adventurous past" (whereas women tend not to). If her past is hidden then later brought to light he feels he has been defrauded. Advocating that women play the game the same way as men when they themselves are aware of the different rules that apply to them is a mistaken approach. 4 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by Beemhan(m): 7:03pm On May 28, 2015 |
mehn I don read comments tire! well bak to the post. I agree with all the OP's points except one. that is, if a married lady 'errs' by cheatin on her husband once she shud not tel him since its a one time thing, as long as it doesnt repeat itself. ok, that sounds safe, but the question is how about if/when he finds out? still safe? I dont think so. a man who finds out about his wife's infidelity himself, will in most cases find it harder to 4give her than if she had told him herself. am sure if the OP's husband 'errs' by cheatin on her and then confesses voluntarily, she'll be more likely to forgive him than if he kips his mouth shut and she eventualy finds out herself, abi OP I talk lie. Truth is, its easy to be tempted to kip shut when such errors occur but the big question remains; HOW ABOUT WHEN/IF YOUR SPOUSE FINDS OUT? |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by harveyspec: 7:05pm On May 28, 2015 |
babyosisi: so ma, what happens when he discovers later that she was a hooker, isn't that deceit? What happens in that awkward moment when her long time customer runs into both of them or if he stumbles into her profile online or her nude pics? what happens after marriage when it is discovered that she can't conceive due to damages in her reproductive system as a result of an abortion? I hope you are different from the OP of the thread on marital advice for newly weds & intending.... I thought a serious relationship should be built on trust let me get this straight, you deceived me as a man & denied me the opportunity to have weighed my options before marrying you, not only that, you expect me to join you in proffering a solution to the consequences of your past 1 Like |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by BlackOnassis(m): 7:07pm On May 28, 2015 |
cococandy: You make a lot of sense. |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by dinachi(m): 7:12pm On May 28, 2015 |
Three women stand out here defending the indefensible. Telling other women to keep secrets from their husbands! Babyosisi, Cococandy,Sophyrocks. Nairalanders you can now see the kind of female relationship experts these women are! It is very clear they are either not married or they are married to strangers . Two people keeping secrets from each other are not deep in love but deep in self deception. Both are wearing masks. Both do not trust each other enough to be themselves around the one they claim to love! That is why we have so many married singles! People in a martial relationship yet they are very LONELY. And ofcourse this kind of advice encourages unmarried women to see marriage as a game where you try to outsmart the other. 4 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by kpolli(m): 7:13pm On May 28, 2015 |
Dear future wife, If you believe anything this OP has said or anyone has added and you decide not to tell me, it's fine. But if I learn it from a 3rd party, just take it as our marriage is as good as being over. If you believe I can't accept your past then just know our future won't be bright.... Signed, Your future (might-be-ex) husband 5 Likes |
Re: Things Your Fiancé/ husband Is Better Off Not Knowing. by bukatyne(f): 7:23pm On May 28, 2015 |
1stCitizen: That is the ideal However, it is easier said than done. I could come here and say bear it all in minute details yet I have never been in that corner before. When you are bearing it out, it should be when the relationship is getting to marriage level. @ least, the person knows you to a certain extent. What I will say is mind What you do today So you are not ashamed of anything tomorrow. This is to both parties |
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