Kimoni:
First, this is not about feminism. Not at all. Topic for another day.

Kimoni:
I disagree with your first five paragraphs. It contains a lot of sweeping statements with no empirical evidence (Ekwesili speaking)
Seriously, a lot of what you wrote up there are what I regard as myths.

Kimoni:
Is there any shame in single motherhood these days? I don't think so. Babymamas, side chicks are now trending more than ever

Kimoni:
Women catch STDs 7 times more than men? I need proof

Kimoni:
Effects of abortions? Little or no effect these days. It's almost as easy as shaiting now and besides, hardly will you even find them getting pregnant.

Kimoni:
Less marital satisfaction for women as a result of a high number of exs'
Wake up TV!!!!!!! It's the 21st century, a new millennium.
Let's not even argue this, this is a fable

Kimoni:
TV, whether you agree or not, there is a whole new generation of girls out there and they are not smiling. They live by their own rules and have no time for conscience or physiological effect. Something they copied from the menfolk.

Kimoni:
Now back to my point, it's high time men realize whats going on around them and trace the origin of this mess to themselves. For centuries, different rules have always applied to men and women.

Kimoni:
~ It's okay for a man to cheat but it's at a taboo for women
~ a married woman found cheating should be divorced immediately but a man found cheating should be constant prayed for and pampered more (like seriously)
~ babymamas should be shamed but baby daddies should be accorded the right of marriage
~ girl should spill her past before marriage but guys must never kiss and tell

Kimoni:
We are never going to move forward if we continue to preach all these to the younger generation and continue telling them it's a man's world.
A male should be held equally liable for whatever atrocities he commits with a female.

Kimoni:
I quite agree with your ending paragraphs but with some little moderation.
Certainly, all parties concerned must come clean at one point or the other during their relationship but again, it should be all parties and not women alone.

Kimoni:
However, in doing that, wisdom must also be applied during disclosure. If I have a partner who tells his mother or friends anything to everything, I'll know where to stop.

Kimoni:
Or if he is the type that like to use what he knows about me as a weapon during marital spats, I'll disclose with maximum wisdom.
Materiality is also very key when spewing.

Kimoni:


Again my apologies

Proof of first ownership.

Seeing is believing. Show me the proof

coogar:


you want to see another woman's hymen? fear no even catch you?

Kimoni:

Fear? How? hymen?? Na today??

Everybody claim first ownership these days o, even those that got married to confirmed escorts.

I need to see clear empirical evidence

pickabeau1:
Coogaluta

Welcome back

You've not changed this your style of twisting my moniker...

coogaluta:


I ain't twisting anything
isn't that the right thing?

coogar:


my dear, everybody isn't coogar!
i have an awesome wealth of experience in these matters. this proof of purity is super authentic. i have a device called hymenömeter.

Kimoni:
Coogar, pls don't respond till evening. Nobody should respond to me till evening.

Pls help a sister

pickabeau1:

Why

What help do u need

coogar:


i guess the replies are distracting her. she wants to finish her assignment before coming back here to expose men's supposed double standards when it comes to sēxual history.

RoyalRoy:
Don't you just love this man-room?


Lollz.


A lot of ladies have come and go....now it seems they only read and pass.

Great tips in here.....nice analogies.

pickabeau1:



I guessed as much

What I don't get is her point

Is she advocating sexual license for all genders as a solution

coogaluta:


or sexual purity for all genders

pickabeau1:


Beautiful

So the message should be this rather than encouraging sexual liberty

coogaluta:


good luck in telling men to keep their diccks where God intended it to be-between their legs

pickabeau1:


Beautiful

So the message should be this rather than encouraging sexual liberty

bukatyne:


Who has encouraged sexual liberty?

pickabeau1:


The premise of that thread is simple in my opinon

Men sleep around and have secrets\
women you can sleep around too and keep secrets

1. what is your own take away from the thread

bukatyne:


Is that really the premise of the thread?

pickabeau1:



I guessed as much

What I don't get is her point

Is she advocating sexual license for all genders as a solution

coogaluta:


smh
We're here to stay

Of course you are one of us...
Or have you changed coat again?

coogar:


i guess the replies are distracting her. she wants to finish her assignment before coming back here to expose men's supposed double standards when it comes to sēxual history.

coogar:


her point is - what a man can do, women should also do.......which is quite funny.

Kimoni:


Correct!

Still didn't finish tomorrow is another day

not expsosing anyone though, men just need to stop the double standards.

Kimoni:

Errrmm, not exactly.
More like - if it's a sin for the woman, then it should be a sin for the man

TV01:

Feminism and it's precepts colour how many - male and female, feminists and non-feminists - approach the issue

I honestly don't know too much about feminism. But I'll share my views on my perception of it some other day.

Please search it out for yourself. Ask specifically and I'll try and provide links.

Ok but highlighted a few already

Shame or not, stigmatised or not, there is a societal cost as the outcomes for the children are typically poorer - do you need proof of this? It's one of the ways people these days miss it. It's about the greater good, not simply individual desire and satisfaction.

Typically poorer? One of the sweeping statements. We judge single mothers like it takes one person to tango, did she impregnate herself? Where is the single father in all of this? Why is he being let off the hook? should we continue to live like this cuz that's how it has always been? I don't think so. The consequences will hit us all alike


Not empirical I hope ! The rate of transmission between the parties if either is infected. Please read again.

The rate of transmission is greater in women, I agree, not 7 times though, 2ce is more like it. But ultimately, these women sleep with men right, and so on the long run, I believe it evens out. My point is this, yeah the woman gets it faster than the man, but eventually, the man gets it also. So, on the long run, the risk becomes the same

You'd do well to search this one out. One abortion increases a womans chances of a serious pathology later in life by up to 40%. And I mean pathologies like breast cancer etc. Oral/chemical contraceptives are also dangerous as these can have dangerous side effects on some women - and for many induce unpleasant day-to-day side effects.

I need to search this

Nope. It's true widely known and ApexTitan provided a link. Women tend to embed physical/emotinal experiences and are prone to romanticising them. It doesn't bode well for hubby, especially at times things are hard, he's struggling or there is a down in the marriage. It engenders "dissatisfaction" in women.

Myth. I need empirical evidence. You tend to underestimate women a lot. I'll check the link though

I sure everyone has spotted the not so sublte shifting of responsibility onto men !
Women adopting the pathological traits of men will backfire on us all - but mostly on women.

Wrong!! Mostly on the children, and consequently, equally on the parents (man and woman)

It's mens fault in as much as they fell for the equality ruse and shed age-old traditions for odd notions like equality, freedom and autonomy.

Pray tell, why does equality bother you guys so much?? A woman wants to share your responsibilities with you and you don't like it? I surely don't understand feminism.


I never said or championed any of those things. They are natural outworkings of the male female dynamic - and hence embedded into culture.

Nothing natural about it, cultural yes but culture evolves. We need to evolve pass this already


Agreed. But a male won't have to drop out of school when he gets a woman pregnant Niether will he face the risk of childbirth, single parent stigma or l/t consequences of an abortion.

Risk of childbirth applies to every woman. Doesn't apply
A woman does not have to drop out of school cuz she is pregnant.
Single mother stigma? Back then, yes but fast becoming a thing of the past. Ask Sunbo Ajaba(hope I got the name right)


It doesn't actually sound like you read it. Otherwise it would be gospel to you . In fact, your moderation is regressive as
1. I clearly stated "both parties".
2. It's not at "some point", but when marriage is in view or a distinct possibility.



I maintain "at some point" - the best time to tell is not cast in stone. Both parties will decide on the best time to spill. One cap does not fit all in relationships/marriage


If one settles for an immature man, that doesn't in any way negate my advice.

Well, the reality of life is - there is no perfect man anywhere. If that is your man's weakness, apply wisdom.


As above. All you are doing is making excuses for non-disclosure. It is not necessarily a bad thing to discuss your intended with at least one family elder. I took something about my wife to a trusted family member/condfidante for advice.

You say one, somebody else say two, some three, some ten yet others say none. Where is the yardstick?
Bottom line, no one cap fits all in relationships/marriage

Good attempt, but you have rebutted nothing. Neither have you presented more telling arguments. !



Judge TV, defendant TV, Plaintiff TV

TV

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10552-013-0325-7
http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/new-evidence-suggests-a-link-between-abortion-and-breast-cancer/16234

coogar:


there's no double standard anywhere.....
men need the education, women do not. before a man can confidently walk up to a woman and chat her up, there must have been several try-outs. so many rough edges until he becomes smooth & sleek with his game. a man is usually the chaser, the woman is his target.

nature designed it that way, it's not our fault!


it's a sin for both genders but the consequences are much more graver for the woman. she's the only one who can get pregnant & the one more susceptible to STDs. this is why the attention is much more focused on the woman than the man.

Kimoni:

You confuse me Coogar, Women don't need education?

I'm cool with men chasing and women being their targets. No issues with that.

Like I told TV, the woman getting STD faster does mean the man will not men it eventually. It's just a timing difference. So eventually, the risk evens out. Consequently, both genders need to be focused on equally.