The general myth is that men are usually predatory when it comes to sex and simply cannot get enough whilst it's the women who have reduced libido.
However speaking to a few friends in relationships/ marriages has revealed that this not necessarily the case. It appears that there are many instances where women are unhappy because their men aren't just giving it up often enough and in some cases not at all.
Before anyone cites infidelity on the part of the male, this is not the reason as in those relationships, their men do not philander, always home, make time for their women etc ... Do everything a man is supposed to do apart from wanting intimacy. The usual reasons, they are tired, stressed, not in the mood and the list goes on. Obviously it is not as simplistic in all cases as some men have erectile dysfunction, retarded ejaculation and other medical issues. The bottom line is they are not meeting the sexual needs of their partners and are reluctant to discuss this.
So ladies, in an ideal relationship where all is well, how important is sex or the lack of to you? Is it a deal breaker?

Sex is important to ladies I guess. Just that society does not give room for ladies to show that they like sex. Inshort a woman involved in a sexkess marriage is expected to suck it up and look at the good part of the marriage and be happy with those and not dare ask for more. where as, if it was a man in the same situation, society expects him to complain and even freely indulge in sexual affairs with any other woman he fancies. They blame the wife and wonder what she was expecting from the man if he wasnt getting it at home.

Interesting!

delishpot:
Sex is important to ladies I guess. Just that society does not give room for ladies to show that they like sex. Inshort a woman involved in a sexkess marriage is expected to suck it up and look at the good part of the marriage where as, if it was a man in tge same situation, society expeczs him to complain and even freely ibdulge in sexual affairs with anyother woman he fancies. They blame the wife and wonder what she was expecting from the man if he wasnt getting it at home.

What I don't understand is that it's something that is hardly spoken of. Outward appearances are very deceiving but I know of a lot of women who are in this situation and very unhappy yet feel like they cannot complain whilst the men go on acting like it is normal which they obviously know it's not otherwise they'd share with their mates.
I rarely hear of men saying openly that they do not like sex because it is something they are ashamed to open up about. Yet, if only men can be more open, it would save a lot of women the heartache of being with someone who they believe just does not desire them and believing the fault is theirs when in reality it has nothing to do with their desirability.
I also blame men for fostering this idea that they have high libidos when in reality they don't and shift the blame on to women.

Thou shalt not deprive his wife of the sweet thing

TrishaP:
Interesting!

It is indeed. I have a mate who is happily married by all account yet sleeps in desperate rooms with her hubby( he says she snores, lol) but the consequence is no sex. She talks to other men online because she feels undesired by her man. Not condoning that, it is wrong. But what is the solution where the man refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem in the first instance?

Moana:
Thou shalt not deprive his wife of the sweet thing

what is d sweet thing? Sugar

Moana:
Thou shalt not deprive his wife of the sweet thing

Lol! It more than just being a sweet thing. There is the sense of intimacy it brings, that closeness that it forges. Take that away and it soon starts to damage other aspects of the relationship. Would love to hear the guy's take on this.

Cutehector:
what is d sweet thing? Sugar

that sweet thing that she got married to enjoy na

shaybebaby:

Lol! It more than just being a sweet thing. There is the sense of intimacy it brings, that closeness that it forges. Take that away and it soon starts to damage other aspects of the relationship. Would love to hear the guy's take on this.

I agree with you 100

Moana:
that sweet thing that she got married to enjoy na

lol hav u experienced the sweet tin?

Cutehector:
lol hav u experienced the sweet tin?

I'm not married. So I can't enjoy the sweet thing

shaybebaby:
So ladies, in an ideal relationship where all is well, how important is sex or the lack of to you? Is it a deal breaker?

Damn!! is this an easy way to find a lady that loves to f**k?! good god!!
*spreads mat*

Moana:
I'm not married. So I can't enjoy the sweet thing

dats good... At least thr r virtuous women in d land... Pls enjoy it wit ur husband.. Likewise me also..

Enegod:
Damn!! is this an easy way to find a lady that loves to f**k?! good god!!
*spreads mat*

You want a woman that doesn't? Besides answer the question, you are a bloke. Is your libido as high as generally purported and if it isn't, would you admit it?

All this sex talk is sickening mehn, from lil kids, teenagers, adults ah ah *Besides after Beyoncé, Sex is the most overated shiit.

I also blame men for fostering this idea that they have high libidos when in reality they don't and shift the blame on to women

Inasmuch as there are men out there with low libido, they are in the vast minority and should not be used as a yardstick. Our testosterone levels(responsible for sex drive /libido) is 16times higher than those of females. This is a biological fact and has nothing to do with social ideologies.

shaybebaby:

You want a woman that doesn't? Besides answer the question, you are a bloke. Is your libido as high as generally purported and if it isn't, would you admit it?

hmmmm... someone is looking for a man with high libido

Don't come crying to us later that all the men you have dated are only looking for sex...

Enegod:
hmmmm... someone is looking for a man with high libido

Don't come crying to us later that all the men you have dated are only looking for sex...

Even if I were, nairaland is not the place for any sane minded person to come looking for love, sex or otherwise. But your silence on the question is telling in itself.

shaybebaby:

Even if I were, nairaland is not the place for any sane minded person to come looking for love, sex or otherwise. But your silence on the question is telling in itself.

the question is for the females

Enegod:
Damn!! is this an easy way to find a lady that loves to f**k?! good god!!
*spreads mat*

Whats wrong with a lady that loves to f.uck bro? Abi na sin for a woman to love to f.uck her husband? If she nor love f.uck she for face convent go become Rev. Sister Mary.
Woman f.uck before marriage na wahala, she Want f.uck after marriage na wahala again....... I dont gerrit o.

It happens in marriages but from what I have read women are the ones who are usually bored with their husband after 3 years of marriage especially after giving birth.

5minsmadness:


Inasmuch as there are men out there with low libido, they are in the vast minority and should not be used as a yardstick. Our testosterone levels(responsible for sex drive /libido) is 16times higher than those of females. This is a biological fact and has nothing to do with social ideologies.

how won't some married men have a low libïdo when the wives stopped taking care of their health? you married a size 8/10 in 2013. fast forward 2 years, she's now size 22. of course, that would affect the sëx drive of the man involved.

most black women don't take care of their fitness. they would rather spend money on cosmetics than spend it in a gym. if you buy a car.....you expect some wear & tear over the years, you don't expect it to double in size.

tmosco:
It happens in marriages but from what I have read women are the ones who are usually bored with their husband after 3 years of marriage especially after giving birth.

I would love to read that book

tmosco:
It happens in marriages but from what I have read women are the ones who are usually bored with their husband after 3 years of marriage especially after giving birth.

I would love to read that book

delishpot:


Whats wrong with a lady that loves to f.uck bro? Abi na sin for a woman to love to f.uck her husband? If she nor love f.uck she for face convent go become Rev. Sister Mary.
Woman f.uck before marriage na wahala, she Want f.uck after marriage na wahala again....... I dont gerrit o.

I love women that love to fvck.... Do you love fvcking?

coogar:


how won't some married men have a low libïdo when the wives stopped taking care of their health? you married a size 8/10 in 2013. fast forward 2 years, she's now size 22. of course, that would affect the sëx drive of the man involved.

most black women don't take care of their fitness. they would rather spend money on cosmetics than spend it in a gym. if you buy a car.....you expect some wear & tear over the years, you don't expect it to double in size.

you always sound so objective, sometimes i wonder if its really a woman behind your posts

Nmeri17:
you always sound so objective, sometimes i wonder if its really a woman behind your posts

woman ke?
what gave you that idea? oh i get it.....the moniker.

coogar:


woman ke?
what gave you that idea? oh i get it.....the moniker.

probably. over the years that has been the notion o. na women dh always dey active for family section

shaybebaby:


What I don't understand is that it's something that is hardly spoken of. Outward appearances are very deceiving but I know of a lot of women who are in this situation and very unhappy yet feel like they cannot complain whilst the men go on acting like it is normal which they obviously know it's not otherwise they'd share with their mates.
I rarely hear of men saying openly that they do not like sex because it is something they are ashamed to open up about. Yet, if only men can be more open, it would save a lot of women the heartache of being with someone who they believe just does not desire them and believing the fault is theirs when in reality it has nothing to do with their desirability.
I also blame men for fostering this idea that they have high libidos when in reality they don't and shift the blame on to women.

Your points are duely observed. Sounds more like it's a personal thing, rather than a representative opinion or experience.

Nevertheless, the male animals play dominance in sex whether with high libido or not than their females. Depravity does not make them play open easily to be fvcked or complain as your points suggest.

By the way, sex involves a lot of things. From body chemistry, physiological, psychological conditions of both parties and more. It's just not as you have succinctly put to generate emotions from our women. Some contributions made here are pointers to elucidate on the reasons. Take for example, a man that suffers from erectile dysfunction with his wife and does not feel so to an office secretary? How do you explain that?

Jonwesley:


Your points are duely observed. Sounds more like it's a personal thing, rather than a representative opinion or experience.

Nevertheless, the male animals play dominance in sex whether with high libido or not than their females. Depravity does not make them play open easily to be fvcked or complain as your points suggest.

By the way, sex involves a lot of things. From body chemistry, physiological, psychological conditions of both parties and more. It's just not as you have succinctly put to generate emotions from our women. Some contributions made here are pointers to elucidate on the reasons. Take for example, a man that suffers from erectile dysfunction with his wife and does not feel so to an office secretary? How do you explain that?

Then the reason for this must be explored. I guess I am advocating for more openness and dialogue, not finger pointing.
The point here is that it exists and there are women and men suffering for this reason. But yet it is rarely talked about.
It is a key reason why some women resort to infidelity. I am saying that women have needs too and such is the world today where if those needs are not being met and there isn't dialogue to work through the problem, they will be met elsewhere.

Enegod:
I love women that love to fvck.... Do you love fvcking?

Wait let me go and buy JAMB past questions and answers and practice. When I finish, I will return and try to answer your JAMB Question.

coogar:


woman ke?
what gave you that idea? oh i get it.....the moniker.

Hahahahahahaha