Ewuro4:
Stillfire ... I can boast on behalf of my Westernized but traditional Nigerian husband does;2,3,5,6,7&8 regularly in your Chivary list

Stillfire:


This is the definition of chivalry

chiv·al·ry
ˈSHivəlrē/Submit
noun
the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
historical
knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively.
"I fought against the cream of French chivalry"
the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women.

The word is not ours. So what you listed are not chivalrous acts. But cultural demands that need to be scraped and as a Feminist its either we both pay brideprice or scrape the system with immediate alacrity. Also, maybe you can start by telling me how African society has helped the 'weak-vesseled' African woman! Maybe I will change my views...

coogar:


if i were female, i would be very happy that the only being i am inferior to is my husband. i mean, what if God made women as spinach.....you would have about 300 living things to see as your superior. you should be grateful that only one man is superior to you.

Stillfire:


Lol, the operative word has been bolded. Not many women can boast their husbands do half of them.

coogar:


a woman is beneath her husband!
an unmarried woman isn't beneath anyone until she marries. every scriptural book on the planet explained this bit in details......

Stillfire:


Buhahaha, you are not serious!
We should see ourselves as opposites but equals.

freecocoa:
Ok then, so only married women aren't equal to men and those men being their husbands, guess this means that, so long as a woman isn't married, she is not lesser than a man.

coogar:


who made it seem so?

women are the ones benefitting from this illegal trade the most. ask cococandy - she's an ada. in 20 years time, she would go back to her village and become the chief tax officer for any groom that intends to marry in her borough. it's a cycle!

it still applies - background check is still alive & kicking.

you see?
this is what yoruba men go through week in week out. his dignity must be laid bare before they can deem him worthy to own a wife. how is that not hardwork?

i am sure they would rather prostrate than pay for that long list of things to buy for the traditional wedding. prostrating is evil but it's the lesser evil here.

VictoriaBee:

Man made culture not woman.

Trash!
Which state is she from?
I'm from Owerri, Imo state and I haven't heard all these, as my cousin elder sister never did it.

For Village girls mostly/only.
Mind you, Village girls are very submissive. Find one for yourself.

Good.
Only Yoruba girls can be submissive.

Lastly, fathers gain mostly from that endless list.It's men that gain from their fellow men for selfish reasons.

VictoriaBee:
Coogar, check again!
Our Igbo men are not complaining.
Most of the men that frequent this section and argue about submissiveness are not Igbo except that dude Njokusomething.
Our Igbo men love us.

Chillisauce:


I didn't read this your literature. But I'm sure you are right. I even shared and liked it without reading. That shows how much I trust you

coogar:


women are the major drivers of this archaic culture. widowhood & marriage are left for the women of the village to handle. men don't have a say in this matter.

so who are the umuadas?
men?

in this 21st century where village girls are watching pörn on their mobile phones? tell that to the birds. village girls are notoriously corrupt these days - much more than the city girls

every woman should be submissive to her husband. if submission isn't in her dictionary then she shouldn't marry - abi na by force?God constructed marriage with terms & conditions. if you can live with the conditions, fine. if you cannot, leave the institution alone.

i disagree.......
women are the major benefactors of this list & they are the ones who continue to let the culture thrive in eastern nigeria. this is why they stylishly make fun of the girl who isn't married yet......they don't do that for the mockery alone, they do it for the purpose of their bellies.

how can they complain ?
they have fled the villages to marry yoruba women in lagos. i cannot count the number of times i have seen igwes begging that the laws should be removed so that senior village maidens can marry.

VictoriaBee:

Village submissive women.
You mean my mum would leave her house and travel to attend that rubbish in the village?

In this Nigeria where there's no network connection? except you mean live porn.

Submissive? Respect a man? I agree
Boss me around? Never

You are from where?

Be deceiving yourself.

Even Men that don't earn more than 20k in a month, get married in an Igboland.
These NL rumour about how Igbo women are expensive is trash.

coogar:


so not letting women carry dane guns to fight the fulani soldiers isn't chivalrous? that to me was courageous of the men in those villages. they sacrificed themselves to preserve the women & children. it can also be seen as the readiness to help the weak(women & children)

thank you - this is what african feminists should thrive to scrap instead of concentrating on inferior or superior gender. there are areas where women are overprivileged already & there are areas where they are underprivileged.

fairness to me = african feminists reducing the excess privileges women already have & adding more privileges to where women came short. however, you will find out that feminists don't seem to care about the areas where men are shortchanged.....they just want more & more rights without responsibility.

cococandy:
this smacks of an underhanded effort to ... Do what? I don't even know.

Let me indulge you anyway.

How important is marriage to women?
Very important.
Is it also important to men?
Yes. Very important.
It is important to all of us. But not everyone should be required to get married. And their worth shouldn't be dependent on it.

While I can be fine being single and by myself, I'd very much prefer to share my life with someone who loves me and has my back and I his.
On a social platform, I don't consider marriage important for me to be accorded any form of respect or elevation that I have not earned by my own merit over a single woman.

Let me for a moment believe that you're truly oblivious to the subtle discrimination single women face in certain places because of being single.

Have you ever heard someone say "don't talk to her like that. She's a married woman?" Well I have. The message it gives is that it is ok to belittle the single one there after all her status hasn't been elevated to that of a Mrs.

In Igbo land There's a slang used to mock older single ladies "oto na aka Nne"
Loosely means 'the one nobody married'.
Meaning A woman's ability to get a to man desire and marry her determines her worth. If she doesn't get married, then there must be something less worthy about her.
All it teaches is that her value as a person is validated the moment a man sees her worthy of being "under his roof".

Do you still not understand why marriage must not be held as value placement for women?

coogar:
stillfire.....
this is an example of what i am saying. look at this list very well & tell me a man who pays this would not lord over his wife.

[img]http://3.bp..com/-dVPKWuTtr6Y/VUHaueXKhMI/AAAAAAABaMg/hVoK_tsBTU4/s1600/Igbos.jpg[/img]

Stillfire:

That is not a determinant of chivalry. Someone had to take care of the kids during war-times . The rationale was that since women took care of the kids during peace-times, then it is sufficient for women to care for the kids during war-times. And since we still practice a patriarchal system in Nigerian, men shall continue to be conscripted to war. When men start investing in their time and patience in the home-front, thennnnnnnn will I support the automatic conscription of women in the army.

We are focused on where we are disenfranchised at the moment and on how femininity is viewed. Today in Nigeria, women cannot go to a hotel without the accompaniment of a man. That is a slap to my face.

Privileges has not killed anyone and I don't see anyone dying from it, that is why you are fighting to maintain your male privileges . We hat done our SWOT analysis and weighed our risks and what is likely to wipe out womanhood in the form of violence and disenfranchisement is our focus at the moment and weighs more risks than fighting to curb privileges.

Stillfire:


This is the definition of chivalry

chiv·al·ry
ˈSHivəlrē/Submit
noun
the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
historical
knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively.
"I fought against the cream of French chivalry"
the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women.

The word is not ours. So what you listed are not chivalrous acts. But cultural demands that need to be scraped and as a Feminist its either we both pay brideprice or scrape the system with immediate alacrity. Also, maybe you can start by telling me how African society has helped the 'weak-vesseled' African woman! Maybe I will change my views...

coogar:


good & evil are opposite......are they equal?



she's not!
this is why some women don't even marry. without marriage, she won't have to cook for any man or suffer any sort of domestic violence. she can buy sëx if she needs one or buy a vïbrator.

apart from marriage, there's no other sphere in nigeria where women are treated differently to men. women go to school, women work wherever they want, women have the rights to vote. so what is the problem?

Stillfire:


I agree bride-price should be scraped and if it isn't women should pay a groom-price too. I think I even prefer paying a groom price so I can own a man. lol Coogar will be my wife hahahaha

freecocoa:
The problem is that you are wrong, I gave examples the last time.

coogar:


i disagree.....
too much privileges actually screw things up. it was when some drunk caucasians decided to implement the human rights act that the world got really screwed. look at the world around you - can you tell me everything is well with the way people are now marrying animals & objects?

TooNoisy:


So you have said marriage is very important to women - and also men. But who does a woman marry? A man. So you have stated that it is very important for a woman to have a man in her life. Yes or no. I take that as yes, however, this is something most feminists will disagree with. If it is very important, then why castigate women who really want to get married.

Secondly you have said you would rather be married and I believe you are married to a guy to love. For you, love is the main thing in choosing a partner. Love is actually very difficult to define but that is a topic for another day. But another woman may choose to marry for a different reason. Must love (that we can hardly define) be the only reason in choosing a partner? Can there be other reasons like profile of the potential spouse, family background or cultural similarities? Financial ability, procreation etc? Some of these are valid reasons.

Then you bring up another igbo adage that says "the one that nobody married" as one of your reasons for feminism. I equate that to calling a man poor. So if someone says - that man is very poor; would you now become very bitter, sad and form a movement around it. That someone mocks an unmarried woman does not mean she has zero value. It's similar to calling a man poor. You have just decided that the adage means the woman is entirely worthless and has zero value.

coogar:


so you can lord over me and i can submit to you? i think feminists are just jealous of men. they want to be men.



the example you gave also happens to men. women aren't the only ones who suffer sex discrimination. men are constantly discriminated against on a daily basis....why don't men complain?

if you need a housemate today, you would choose a female housemate over the male. how's it different from an employer that prefers a male job applicant in his company?

both cases are gender discrimination!

NifemiOlu:

Women need to place themselves highly in terms of image. Look around, which gender walks almost naked and demands respect? Women! Look at music videos, girls shamelessly throw themselves up and down I remember before my grandma died, we were watching a musical video, she shook her head and said “that’s why girls need to be circumcised”

freecocoa:
Probably you don't complain because it's been ingrained into your head that, a man isn't supposed to complain about 'any little thing', so you keep quiet.

You don't know that I'll choose a woman, if I know a man who can really do the job, i'd hire him.

These are the types of things that feminism is fighting, it just so happened that, women have always had it harder, that's why there's more focus on women.

coogar:


she's not in the village.
if she's in the village, she must take part. it's her duty to take part. they all belong to one age group or the other. they hold meetings & discuss things that would develop their environment.



there's no network everywhere, abeg!



so you are ready to be submissive in a relationship that has mutual respect? so why have you been arguing since?



enugu south!
1.3km(due west) from moca's village.




that's not true!
bride price is a big problem in the east. this is one of the ex-governors begging for the tradition to be scrapped so that men can afford the girls rotting away in their father's houses.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/04/reduce-bride-price-akonobi-ex-military-governor-of-anambra-pleads-with-igbo-parents/

cococandy:
this smacks of an underhanded effort to ... Do what? I don't even know.

Let me indulge you anyway.

How important is marriage to women?
Very important.
Is it also important to men?
Yes. Very important.
It is important to all of us. But not everyone should be required to get married. And their worth shouldn't be dependent on it.

While I can be fine being single and by myself, I'd very much prefer to share my life with someone who loves me and has my back and I his.
On a social platform, I don't consider marriage important for me to be accorded any form of respect or elevation that I have not earned by my own merit over a single woman.

Let me for a moment believe that you're truly oblivious to the subtle discrimination single women face in certain places because of being single.

Have you ever heard someone say "don't talk to her like that. She's a married woman?" Well I have. The message it gives is that it is ok to belittle the single one there after all her status hasn't been elevated to that of a Mrs.

In Igbo land There's a slang used to mock older single ladies "oto na aka Nne"
Loosely means 'the one nobody married'.
Meaning A woman's ability to get a to man desire and marry her determines her worth. If she doesn't get married, then there must be something less worthy about her.
All it teaches is that her value as a person is validated the moment a man sees her worthy of being "under his roof".

Do you still not understand why marriage must not be held as value placement for women?

blublahd:

. I observe its mostly ibo women that cling on to these feminist ideologies. An escape from the scars of their chauvinistic males had wrought on them.