Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,204,888 members, 7,990,281 topics. Date: Thursday, 31 October 2024 at 12:57 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / NYSC / NYSC 2015 Batch B House (4159997 Views)
NYSC 2015 Batch B Oyo / NYSC 2015 Batch A Call Up Letter Is Up / NYSC 2015 Batch A States' Of Deployment Library (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (307) (308) (309) (310) (311) (312) (313) ... (3378) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by flexingPAPA: 2:22pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: those with the nysc certificate dont even have the job. just build a high profile connection and having a job wont be difficult. this isnt intentional.... |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by iykebesbt1(m): 2:23pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial:On Y va textbooks, transafique1 will give u a spring board.. I still learn on my own.. Even now. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by benebaby77: 2:26pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
khul: Plenty of people who dey here graduated from ABU, Zaria... If we may know, which dept did you graduate from? |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by babatawa(m): 2:28pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
jemimaa01: Babe believe me i know nothin about the post Someone is tryin to pull us apart .... |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 2:30pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Truckpusher: In Kzed voice. YOU ALREADY KNOW |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by iykebesbt1(m): 2:31pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark:Non. Je m'enseigner ..et toi? |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 2:33pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: Yaa Salam ... Asalam Aleikum to My brothers and sisters in ISLAM. Asanlaye |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by theSpark(m): 2:36pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
iykebesbt1: Je etudiez francaise a l'ecole secondaire. Je ecrivez waec en francaise aussi |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by babatawa(m): 2:39pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Ayima: yaaay! Be rest assured I'll make you a minister my cabinet |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Venom104: 2:42pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: I dey sir.. Anything for boys?? |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 2:43pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
khul: Ok nice, u see i tot u were a guy self. U can as well tell ur course incase dia are professional colleagues here. I can see u smartly skipped state of origin. Is ait. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by babatawa(m): 2:43pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Ayima: Are you sure you touched every aspect? how many departmental babes you date |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 2:45pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
iykebesbt1: I used to be good in my Js stage, we used dos materials, i will go search for dem, i hope i can learn dem again. Tanx |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by theSpark(m): 2:47pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Venom104:Stop to dey wash me for public dey call me Sir. We dey look up to God then una |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 2:50pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
flexingPAPA: Hahaha. In OBJ voice be smart, if u suceed we chop but if u re caught u re OYO, |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by theSpark(m): 2:51pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial: Shey na you wan roll for AfDB and IRDB you better get to it quick. Abi na Portuguese you wan sabi? You have more chance with French cos you have a little knowledge. knowing French is a plus if you want to work with these International bodies. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by iykebesbt1(m): 2:51pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark:me too, secondary level..u got some nerves by writing it in ur waec. Let's revert back to English for our viewers pleasure. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by iykebesbt1(m): 2:53pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark:so true.. It was only when I learnt the real importance of french that I started to learn it with all zeal. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 2:55pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial: Yeah,its DONE as well with mine..... Haliluck,I don do am ooooo but will not last more than a day..... |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by iykebesbt1(m): 2:57pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial:also it is not enough reading or writing french but speaking it too.. Most times they aren't pronounced the way they are spelled. So I recommend a video tutorials too.. Alexa is a great tutor. I'd recommend her anytime |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Venom104: 2:57pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: See this my egbon.. We all dey God hand.. Waiting patiently for NYSC |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by boboLIL(m): 3:04pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Here d0n bcm chatr00m.....everyday page de increase.... |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by horladmejy(m): 3:06pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
babatawa:baba....technical no how.....what's on ground I will do... U don't know me sha.... |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by theSpark(m): 3:17pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
I SEE YOU BATTLING FOR THE LADIES ON THIS THR3AD WHO ARE MINE TO TRAIN GUIDE AND GUARD. BEFORE YOU START TOASTIÑG FILL THIS OLD LONG FORM. ALL TOASTING MUST STOP LIKEWISE ALL MARRIAGES UNTIL I GRANT PERMISSION. THANK YOU. Gazaliah Babatawa Hilsocial take this form and make photocopies for other guys. APPLICATION FORM FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from a doctor of my choice. NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA Grid_____________ INCOME TAX FILE NUMBER _________________ DRIVERS LICENCE ________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________y STATE___________ POSTCODE______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No C. A waterbed? __Yes __No D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No E. A tattoo? __Yes __No F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church/Mosque/Shrine you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: Father? _____________ Mother?_____________ Priest Pastor Imam or Babalawo? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ________________________________________________________ E. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _______________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ________________________________________________________ G: What is the current going rate of a motel room? __________________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS ________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, slowpoke!) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi/ Babalawo/ Imam State or Federal Government Representative _______________________________ (Their stamp goes here ) Notary Public Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write, If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (You might watch your back) To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating. Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy): Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a carton of beer, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.' Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Cricket games are okay, Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all- knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 3:18pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Gazaliah: Gazaliah nice dp. Maybe mine will last for a wk. Haliluck we ve done our promises. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by theSpark(m): 3:24pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Who has seen miccoy? It's like he has been exiled by the mods oh |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 3:28pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial: I want Haliluck to do her own as well |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 3:29pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: Wetin nah |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 3:30pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
theSpark: Y do u think i decided to revisite it again. |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by Gazaliah(m): 3:30pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Where is dossylvanus |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by hilsocial(m): 3:31pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
Re: NYSC 2015 Batch B House by babatawa(m): 3:31pm On Jun 03, 2015 |
hilsocial:my friend wee you close your tit |
(1) (2) (3) ... (307) (308) (309) (310) (311) (312) (313) ... (3378) (Reply)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 98 |