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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: (64785 Views)
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Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by lurlah2014(f): 4:57pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse? Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you're not putting your best foot forward? 2. Do we really accept one another? There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren't allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are. 3. Who am I? How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are? 4. Am I happy to be in this relationship? The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let's face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you're always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn't mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea. 5. Am I feeling trapped? Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you've invested time or are you really invested in your mate? 6. What am I doing to hold us back? Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up. 7. Is this relationship balanced? Do you feel you're both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out? 8. Can we have fun together? Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun. 9. Can we have fun apart? Co-dependency ain't cute, y'all. 10. Why am I in this relationship? Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you're afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you're scared to leave? 11. Where is this going? Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious. 12. Do I really trust my partner? For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance. 13. Am I with a good person? Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend? 14. Am I attracted to my partner? Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you're not attracted to — just because it's comfortable or "perfect on paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected. 15. Am I a parent or a partner? Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom? 16. Does my partner have my back? Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate? 17. Are we looking in the same direction? Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work themselves out." By the time they realize they won't, they're in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped. 18. Are we growing together? Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals? 19. Am I still me? Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level. 20. What is my gut telling me? You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself. http://citifmonline.com/2015/05/29/dont-marry-someone-until-you-can-honestly-answer-these-20-qs/ 77 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by jamex93(m): 4:59pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
u don set jamb question b4 ni F.T.C ![]() ![]() 26 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by resty4(m): 5:02pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Chai questn time 1 Like |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
lurlah2014: You forgot to add the link. http://citifmonline.com/2015/05/29/dont-marry-someone-until-you-can-honestly-answer-these-20-qs/ At least people will know that you were not the one that wrote it. 70 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Mhizizzy(f): 5:07pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Marriage counsellors everywhere Nice one op 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by koligs: 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
And if i do nko? OP? You people just wake up and type "10 dis, 20 dat, 25 dose"... wetin? and if you look very well, una go see say most of this bloggers wey sabi list out many things about relationship, dem never marry o... at the age of 35, the OP is still quarelling with his siblings at home over groundnut meant for garri o. Haba, pityy our ecosystem na bros and let the next generation take over. Arrrrrgggghhhh Inshort, I Don vex!!!! 32 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by papercoin(m): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
If you answered all those questions with YES I'm sorry to burst ya bubble "YOU AINT GETTING MARRIED" #fact 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by holicalpha(m): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
I've said it before, Marriage is not for everyone. But the average Nigerian thinks you've not lived well if you're not married. What happens to Living life.?? Life it self is a bondage,Person go come carry marriage matter for head like Dandruff.?? ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Nobody: 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
and if i do nko? OP? you people just wake up and type "10 dis, 20 dat, 25 dose"... wetin? and if you look very well, una go see say most of these bloggers wey sabi list out many things about relationship, dem never marry o... at the age of 35, the OP is still quarrelling with their siblings at home over groundnut meant for garri o. Haba, pity the ecosystem na babe, you are causing hold up o. Ahh |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by CR77(f): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Correct question even ask me more i will answer you. 1 Like |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by CR77(f): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Your name na Gobe soe: 1 Like |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Dollyak(f): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Op won't marry any time soon ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by jamex93(m): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
misssclassy: lolx |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Big4wig(m): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Ggh |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by leftyansh: 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
6 Likes |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by xdunamis(m): 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Be ready for marriage 5 Likes |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
jamex93: That's nice...serious matters reduced to a joke. Keep on joking son. |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
i will read it when am ready to get married |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Helkayklassic(m): 5:29pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Can someone please invite Osho Baba and Lara Fortes to this thread? |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by clefstone(m): 5:29pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
What if u stuck at no 1 and you r a 35yrs old woman? |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Ymodulus: 5:30pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Agree with most of these.. Yet if your partner is using you for an end result, marriage or babies, and not in it 100% because they just enjoy your presence and consider you their true partner, then you are just serving a purpose for them and they do not know how to appreciate you as their partner. Don't plan what you and your partner will do before you meet them... just be happy you are in love and what you decide to do together should be enough. I see way too many happy couples, ruin it, by moving into their "pre-planned ideology" and turn from happy to divorced, miserable, with kids, and feeling like they are both losing out on enjoying life. Marriage/ Living a married life is easy as A-Z. But we ourselves complicate issues. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by pansophist(m): 5:30pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Na only God de save person jare. Na make God give you better partner. |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by chuka5000(m): 5:30pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Walahi marriage need more questions |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Nwtptx(m): 5:31pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Marriage counsellor.hope say u don marry? |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by CR77(f): 5:31pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Copy and paste misssclassy: 1 Like |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by pocohantas(f): 5:31pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Someone created this thread before you. https://www.nairaland.com/2355461/dont-get-married-till-honestly |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by hotgunz(m): 5:31pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Wat nw? !! |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by jamex93(m): 5:32pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
bushdoc9919: who is your son and who told u dat i am joking 1 Like |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by Estimable(m): 5:32pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Are u a parent in this relationship??
No. Be small thing |
Re: Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: by doneyor(m): 5:32pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
You guys are so funny.The number one question is the baddest |
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