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eightsin:
Hello. I'm here to seek advice for a friend of mine who has found himself in a fix and inn need of serious advice. He asked me but I couldn't give a reasonable one.

He is 27 dating a 23 year old girl who works as a secretary. She is a graduate but yet to go for service cos her school has not processed their result. The guy is a civil servant.. a colleague of mine. He earns roughly 80k a month. Now this guy got this girl pregnant and they are confused on what to do. She is about 3 weeks gone. He isn't sure his salary would be able to take care of himself, the girl and the baby cos the girl would likely be sacked when her belle becomes obviously. Not to forget she also take care of her lil sis that schools in one of these universities. Now, would you advise they keep it or look elsewhere?

he needs to find out if she's really pregnant & who's really responsible for the pregnancy.

his salary should be the last thing on his mind for now.

When he was doing things that will lead to pregnancy why didn't he think of this ?


Please tell him to give that child a chance to live.

if you are man enough to have sex you better be men enough to take care of your baby.

coogar:


he needs to find out if she's really pregnant & who's really responsible for the pregnancy.

his salary should be the last thing on his mind for now.

do not introduce strife where there is none

OP yay you're gonna be a dad.

If it's a girl, I call dibs on godmother duty.

cococandy:
do not introduce strife where there is none

strife?

cococandy:
OP yay you're gonna be a dad.
If it's a girl, I call dibs on godmother duty.

he should just accept he's the father of the child just like that?

how well do you know the chic to believe she's speaking the truth? what if there's no pregnancy at all & she's doing this to make money? what if the pregnancy belongs to another dude?

cococandy, you need smoothies.

coogar:


he needs to find out if she's really pregnant & who's really responsible for the pregnancy.

his salary should be the last thing on his mind for now.

what do you mean by find out if she's really preggy and who's responsible. She be Mary?

E no get wetin them do before the pregnancy arrive abi 2 men dey give 1 woman belle ni? Nawa o.



Op don't listen to this person above me o . that's not the next thing.

Ha an. Coogar did they send you?

See this young man may go home and start acting cold to his girlfriend now. Mind you he may not be able to afford a DNA test and all he will have is doubt but no way to prove and no way to even ask without risking ruining his relationship with his child's mother.

Coogar. (Puts on my stern face while pointing in the direction of the door)
Back off!

coogar:


strife?



he should just accept he's the father of the child just like that?

how well do you know the chic to believe she's speaking the truth? what if there's no pregnancy at all & she's doing this to make money? what if the pregnancy belongs to another dude?

cococandy, you need smoothies.

SAMBARRY:
what do you mean by find out if she's really preggy and who's responsible. She be Mary?

E no get wetin them do before the pregnancy arrive abi 2 men dey give 1 woman belle ni? Nawa o.

Op don't listen to this person above me o . that's not the next thing.

if 6 men sleep with a chic, only one of them can be held responsible should a pregnancy ensue. are you going to name all the 6 men as the father of the baby?

translation - having sex with a woman doesn't make one automatically responsible for the pregnancy. this is the 21st century, stop thinking like you are still in bethlehem when mary was having her labour in a manger.

cococandy:
Ha an. Coogar did they send you?
See this young man may go home and start acting cold to his girlfriend now. Mind you he may not be able to afford a DNA test and all he will have is doubt but no way to prove and no way to even ask without risking ruining his relationship with his child's mother.
Coogar. (Puts on my stern face while pointing in the direction of the door)
Back off!

so because he may not have the resources to prove the paternity of the child, he should take responsibility for what may not be his child? i don't get that logic.

it's better to find out now than later. sambarry should start a TV show like jerry springer where randy young men & touchy-feely girls who get pregnant indiscriminately can do DNA tests for unexpected embryos.

coogar:

if 6 men sleep with a chic, only one of them can be held responsible should a pregnancy ensue. are you going to name all the 6 men as the father of the baby?
translation - having sex with a woman doesn't make one automatically responsible for the pregnancy. this is the 21st century, stop thinking like you are still in bethlehem when mary was having her labour in a manger.
so he because he may not have the resources to prove the paternity of the child, he should take responsibility for what may not be his child i don't get that logic.
it's better to find out now than later. sambarry should start a TV show like jerry springer where randy young men & touchy-feely girls who get pregnant indiscriminately can do DNA tests for unexpected embryos.

Yes.

cococandy:


Yes.

lolololol.....

Nawa o coogar so you are stylishly suggesting baby making factory . It is an abomination. We don't do such in our side and moreover the Op said they've been going out for sometime and so dna is not necessary. It will only breed suspicion

coogar:


if 6 men sleep with a chic, only one of them can be held responsible should a pregnancy ensue. are you going to name all the 6 men as the father of the baby?

translation - having sex with a woman doesn't make one automatically responsible for the pregnancy. this is the 21st century, stop thinking like you are still in bethlehem when mary was having her labour in a manger.



so he because he may not have the resources to prove the paternity of the child, he should take responsibility for what may not be his child? i don't get that logic.

it's better to find out now than later. sambarry should start a TV show like jerry springer where randy young men & touchy-feely girls who get pregnant indiscriminately can do DNA tests for unexpected embryos.

SAMBARRY:
Nawa o coogar so you are stylishly suggesting baby making factory . It is an abomination. We don't do such in our side and moreover the Op said they've been going out for sometime and so dna is not necessary. It will only breed suspicion

lord of mercy!
so going out for a long time automatically makes him the dad?

somebody should punch me in the face, please

coogar:


lord of mercy!
so going out for a long time automatically makes him the dad?

somebody should punch me in the face, please

of course na. If she was sleeping with another guy chances are that the main guy will discover before long
Mr man every body cannot be you. That you do the same thing doesn't mean every other person is like that

Certainly, I'd pass the messages across.

SAMBARRY:
of course na. If she was sleeping with another guy chances are that the main guy will discover before long
Mr man every body cannot be you. That you do the same thing doesn't mean every other person is like that

and what if he's too busy to keep track on the girl & there's indeed another man helping the girl on the sides?

eightsin:
Certainly, I'd pass the messages across.

All this 'my friend', 'my friend' is getting played out. Just admit you're the one in a fix so we can appreciate the gravity of the situation and point you in the right direction.

coogar:


and what if he's too busy to keep track on the girl & there's indeed another man helping the girl on the sides?

There's no extra man man servicing the energy its your mind messing with you

cold:

All this 'my friend', 'my friend' is getting played out. Just admit you're the one in a fix so we can appreciate the gravity of the situation and point you in the right direction.

Abi o

eightsin:
Hello. I'm here to seek advice for a friend of mine who has found himself in a fix and inn need of serious advice. He asked me but I couldn't give a reasonable one.

He is 27 dating a 23 year old girl who works as a secretary. She is a graduate but yet to go for service cos her school has not processed their result. The guy is a civil servant.. a colleague of mine. He earns roughly 80k a month. Now this guy got this girl pregnant and they are confused on what to do. She is about 3 weeks gone. He isn't sure his salary would be able to take care of himself, the girl and the baby cos the girl would likely be sacked when her belle becomes obviously. Not to forget she also take care of her lil sis that schools in one of these universities. Now, would you advise they keep it or look elsewhere?

The important question to ask here is this: Do they both love each other?

If they do, then they should seriously consider getting married. A court / registry wedding should do for now. They should also have a very, very, simple, low-key traditional ceremony or introduction with just the main players, and nothing fanciful, to keep the expenses down.

With them being married, she gets to keep her job, avoids the stigma of being an unmarried single mother, and the embarrassment of having an illegitimate child out of wedlock. Afterall, na Naija una dey, so play by the rules.

Not to mention that they'll be killing three birds with a single stone.

I know this pregnancy's come as a shock but they shouldn't panic. He's 27 and she 23. They're both adults. So they need to sit down like responsible adults, discuss, and weigh their options.

Goodluck, and congratulations Papi

You will marry that lady and have that child. I've seen baba akin with 3kids and less of what you earn living just okay.

You've got to be shrewd manager of scarce resources. This is your business and you've got to take care of it as a Man. You can do this only that you underrate your true capabilities. I've done stuffs and walked the valley of the shadow of death and looked death in the face and came through. Nothing scares me now. Simplify and take first things first. I can borrow you my 1 minute manger meets the monkey.

You earn 80 Grand and cannot afford to buy a condom.. A whole cartoon way u go use for almost a year go for as low as N300...

Man.. I'd say you really wanted the baby and you are ready for fatherly duties.
You are in no fix.. What were u expecting when you were shagging unprotected? You made your bed, it's time to lie on it.
Look around, People who earn less can take care of a child.
Nigeria is a country where lot of people without financial capability give birth to a child without plan, so you are right on track man...

Let me scare this dude a bit... Do not abort that Child! Never mind about people who try to downplay the gravity by calling it a foetus.. It is breathing and a human. You will be commiting murder! The blood will be on ur head and will hunt you forever!!!
Keep it or Else... God will never forgive or forget it.. You dont want to mess with baba God!

Since cococandy already called dibs on godmother duties... Abeg invite me for the naming ceremony. I dont like missin free food.

Congrats to the new daddy in town... God.. I Bleep!n love it when people have unprotected sex.. Its magic!!

RiffRaff:
You earn 80 Grand and cannot afford to buy a condom.. A whole cartoon way u go use for almost a year go for as low as N300...
Man.. I'd say you really wanted the baby and you are ready for fatherly duties.
You are in no fix.. What were u expecting when you were shagging unprotected? You made your bed, it's time to lie on it.
Look around, People who earn less can take care of a child.
Nigeria is a country where lot of people without financial capability give birth to a child without plan, so you are right on track man...
Let me scare this dude a bit... Do not abort that Child! Never mind about people who try to downplay the gravity by calling it a foetus.. It is breathing and a human. You will be commiting murder! The blood will be on ur head and will hunt you forever!!!
Keep it or Else... God will never forgive or forget it.. You dont want to mess with baba God!
Since cococandy already called dibs on godmother duties... Abeg invite me for the naming ceremony. I dont like missin free food.
Congrats to the new daddy in town... God.. I Bleep!n love it when people have unprotected sex.. Its magic!!

Harsh, but true - and a lesson for others out there doing what he did.

But the deed is already done. Let's encourage him on the way forward now

It is only the poor child that didnt commit any crime i pity... I hate it so much when poor people give birth without proper planning.

Like i said... Let him get his act together..
People earn less than 80Grand and give birth to kids.

Its just one for now.... Please y'all should keep it that way till you can elevate your financial status. Its a minor bump for now.

2 people should be able to take care of a child if they are responsible. So talk to your babe & start making plans.
You can do it...
Turn this lemon into lemonade... Someday when that child is growing up, you will look back and be glad you kept it.

Other question the dude should be askin is:
Does he have marriage plan for the lady he impregnated abi na Hit & Run thingz?

EfemenaXY:


The important question to ask here is this: Do they both love each other?

If they do, then they should seriously consider getting married. A court / registry wedding should do for now. They should also have a very, very, simple, low-key traditional ceremony or introduction with just the main players, and nothing fanciful, to keep the expenses down.

With them being married, she gets to keep her job, avoids the stigma of being an unmarried single mother, and the embarrassment of having an illegitimate child out of wedlock. Afterall, na Naija una dey, so play by the rules.

Not to mention that they'll be killing three birds with a single stone.

I know this pregnancy's come as a shock but they shouldn't panic. He's 27 and she 23. They're both adults. So they need to sit down like responsible adults, discuss, and weigh their options.

Goodluck, and congratulations Papi

. I subscribe to this.make some financial adjustments. Before you know it, you will be happy you kept the baby. Don't subject this lady to the pain of abortion.The Lord is your strength.

If she's truly pregnant, she may have done so in a bid to not lose her bobo. Of course, pregnant women will to their boyfriend's bedrooms if they so desire it.

Get a paternity test carried out, though.

Timbuktou:
If she's truly pregnant, she may have done so in a bid to not lose her bobo. Of course, pregnant women will to their boyfriend's bedrooms if they so desire it.

Get a paternity test carried out, though.

that's the second step.

his first step is to get a pregnancy test carried out in a clinic of his choice. she might be scheming to get money from him.

the second test is the paternity test.... if all fingers point to him then he can start worrying about his income & how much of it should go to child cost.

coogar:


that's the second step.

his first step is to get a pregnancy test carried out in a clinic of his choice. she might be scheming to get money from him.

the second test is the paternity test.... if all fingers point to him then he can start worrying about his income & how much of it should go to child cost.

Yeah, I totally forgot that. Nna, OP, get a full medical report on the particulars of this pregnancy. I'm very sure this babe is trying to tie this niccur down.

Timbuktou:


Yeah, I totally forgot that. Nna, OP, get a full medical report on the particulars of this pregnancy. I'm very sure this babe is trying to tie this niccur down.

. You and coogar are trying to say that the possibility of a fertile 23year old last with an active sexual life been pregnant is slim? what's all these about paternity test. An adage says " only the pregnant woman knows who the father of the baby is"
Op's friend didn't deny bleeping this lady.

Adaobi12:
. You and coogar are trying to say that the possibility of a fertile 23year old last with an active sexual life been pregnant is slim? what's all these about paternity test. An adage says " only the pregnant woman knows who the father of the baby is"
Op's friend didn't deny bleeping this lady.

how did you deduce this from what we said? of course she could get pregnant but we have to be sure she's really pregnant....she could be telling a lie to pinch money from the dude.

OP's friend sleeping with the babe does not automatically make him the father of the baby. what if she is sleeping with other men while dating OP's friend?

When una dey dig the thing without condom . Una no think of the effect.
now the deed has been done, you suddenly remember lack of finance.