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Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? - Romance - Nairaland

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Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Sleeky4u: 4:08am On Jun 07, 2015
I had an opportunity of asking this girl out a couple of years ago when I had so much love and respect for her, but instead she chose to date a dude far younger than myself cos according to her, i wasnt showin any sign of seriousness then which is not true tho. This kept me psychologically down for a while and I got to know later on that they broke up after 7 months. We later met again after 2 years and we rekindled our relationship, but each time I remember wat transpired in d past, it takes our love backward. 6 months into d relationship, she was diagnosed of an ailment that demands her to give birth urgently or she might find it difficult to do so in the long-run. Now, she is demanding for marriage or she leaves. I have ask her for more time 2 help me get over wat transpired in d past and also seek d face of God, but she has remained adamant. Though i have a good paying job and same applies to her, i just have this feeling she is only after what she can get from this relationship as 6 months is quite a short time for the urgency even though we have been friends for a while. Please I need ur advise. Do I allow her go?

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by omoelu1(m): 4:10am On Jun 07, 2015
looks more like a script to me

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by agarawu23(m): 5:05am On Jun 07, 2015
what kind of ailment are we talking about? how did she came across it? hope the current situation will not affect both of you in future?

what broke up her ex boyfriend should be your first research.

why didn't she get married to the guy she left you for?

why the rush ?

this are question I want us to treat before jumping into conclusion because you can't just let her go without making findings of my listed above.

good morning

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by GeneralQuamdeen: 5:12am On Jun 07, 2015
What kind of ailment demand urqent birth?
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Nobody: 5:16am On Jun 07, 2015
Op from everything you just stated it seems you don't really love this girl. At least not like you used to.
What she did to you took a toll on you and you find it hard to see her the way you formerly saw her.

One thing I always advise is that people should never marry out of a need to satisfy the need of just one of the partners.
Marriage should always be based on mutual consent and true, unbreakable love between the two partners.

I won't advise you to marry this lady. She is desperate to get married because of her ailment and she wants to use you.
She doesn't even care if the two of you are well grounded and have reached the point where you both are ready.

I just read your comment below me and it just became all glaring that this lady doesn't really love you but because she was jilted by the guy she loved, she considered you as a back up of some sort. She felt that since she is in a delicate condition as this, you are her only lifeline, hence her coming back and desperately urging you to marry her.

Marriage is a very crucial aspect of ones life and one has to think really carefully before dabbling into it.
I have a question for you op.
When you think of you future do you see this lady in it? Do you imagine her the mother of your kids? Is she someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with?
You should answer this questions and be true to yourself.

If you believe you are not ready for marriage, please do not go ahead with it.
Do not let this lady force you into something that you are not ready for.

You should also bring this case before your God. Seek His face and pray for direction.

Thanks.

11 Likes

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Sleeky4u: 5:26am On Jun 07, 2015
Thanks guys. I will just answer few of d questions posed. She was diagnosed of multiple fibroid and d doc. Thinks she has to give birth first before an operation might be considered. According to her, her ex just decided that he wasn't interested anymore and jilted her.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by pretydiva(f): 5:43am On Jun 07, 2015
If u no u truly luv her n u want her as ur wife n mother 2 ur kids, I c no reason y ur delaying since u said u ve a well paying job.

She shouldn't rush herself because of d fibroid. I believe it's not a life threatening disease. She can exercise little more patience. When she finally get married,den go 4 d operation n tk in immediately 2 avoid a re growth
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by BeeBeeOoh(m): 5:45am On Jun 07, 2015
Marriage is a life imprisonment, so u have 2 choose ur cell mate carefully or else ..........





Ka chineke mezie okwu!!

3 Likes

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by agarawu23(m): 5:46am On Jun 07, 2015
Sleeky4u:
Thanks guys. I will just answer few of d questions posed. She was diagnosed of multiple fibroid and d doc. Thinks she has to give birth first before an operation might be considered. According to her, her ex just decided that he wasn't interested anymore and jilted her.
It's now clear to us the lady kept you as her plan B. She left you for another guy despite you showing how much you love and care for her but now that she is having a condition tagging her future along, she is back to you.

Though are present condition is not that worst and I believe God have the power to change situations(she should start praying to God).

marriage is forever and life is too short to marry someone you don't love from all your heart(you once loved her but I am not sure the love is still there ).

i just have this feeling she is only after what she can get from this relationship as 6 months is quite a short time for the urgency even though we have been friends for a while.

this your observation alone will not let you enjoy the marriage if you go ahead due to her pressure.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Tallesty1(m): 5:53am On Jun 07, 2015
misssclassy:
Op from everything you just stated it seems you don't really love this girl. At least not like you used to.
What she did to you took a toll on you and you find it hard to see her the way you formerly saw her.

One thing I always advise is that people should never marry out of a need to satisfy the need of just one of the partners.
Marriage should always be based on mutual consent and true, unbreakable love between the two partners.

I won't advise you to marry this lady. She is desperate to get married because of her ailment and she wants to use you.
She doesn't even care if the two of you are well grounded and have reached the point where you both are ready.

I just read your comment below me and it just became all glaring that this lady doesn't really love you but because she was jilted by the guy she loved, she considered you as a back up of some sort. She felt that since she is in a delicate condition as this, you are her only lifeline, hence her coming back and desperately urging you to marry her.

Marriage is a very crucial aspect of ones life and one has to think really carefully before dabbling into it.
I have a question for you op.
When you think of you future do you see this lady in it? Do you imagine her the mother of your kids? Is she someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with?
You should answer this questions and be true to yourself.

If you believe you are not ready for marriage, please do not go ahead with it.
Do not let this lady force you into something that you are not ready for.

You should also bring this case before your God. Seek His face and pray for direction.

Thanks.
You made plenty sense here........



Good morning.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Nobody: 5:55am On Jun 07, 2015
Tallesty1:
You made plenty sense here........


Good morning.
Good morning to you too.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by justmag(m): 6:14am On Jun 07, 2015
This is some nice nollywood type movie. OP let's find some directors and producers to make this a reality. Good movie.

angry
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by agarawu23(m): 6:27am On Jun 07, 2015
justmag:
This is some nice nollywood type movie. OP let's find some directors and producers to make this a reality. Good movie.

angry
why do you guys take everything as fake? you don't know what's happening presently in peoples life. I pray you don't experience situation that will make people think you are a fool.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by sweettease(f): 6:34am On Jun 07, 2015
Sleeky4u:
Thanks guys. I will just answer few of d questions posed. She was diagnosed of multiple fibroid and d doc. Thinks she has to give birth first before an operation might be considered. According to her, her ex just decided that he wasn't interested anymore and jilted her.
You better run, she is trying to blackmail you emotionally into marrying her. Depending on the size of the fibroid, she might not even be able to get pregnant before doing the surgery and if she does, the baby might not even survive, sometimes it is still difficult to get pregnant after the surgery, it's really a 50/50 thing; and to think she is blackmailing you with it. About her choosing someone else before, it happens! I think it's high time you moved pass that; but the blackmail is unacceptable. She can even be making it all up? Did you go with her to see the Dr? If you did, is it a Dr you can trust?


Wait o, did the threat actually scare you? If she leaves you, she will go back to square one - starting a fresh relationship, maybe even bottom square one - single and searching with the fibroid baggage. Either she isn't so smart or you aren't, no offense.

1 Like

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Omotayor123(f): 6:43am On Jun 07, 2015
Sleeky4u:
I had an opportunity of asking this girl out a couple of years ago when I had so much love and respect for her, but instead she chose to date a dude far younger than myself cos according to her, i wasnt showin any sign of seriousness then which is not true tho. This kept me psychologically down for a while and I got to know later on that they broke up after 7 months. We later met again after 2 years and we rekindled our relationship, but each time I remember wat transpired in d past, it takes our love backward. 6 months into d relationship, she was diagnosed of an ailment that demands her to give birth urgently or she might find it difficult to do so in the long-run. Now, she is demanding for marriage or she leaves. I have ask her for more time 2 help me get over wat transpired in d past and also seek d face of God, but she has remained adamant. Though i have a good paying job and same applies to her, i just have this feeling she is only after what she can get from this relationship as 6 months is quite a short time for the urgency even though we have been friends for a while. Please I need ur advise. Do I allow her go?
If you can't forget what she did before why go back to her again in the first place?

And how do you intend to make her help you forget
Forgetting is your decision alone.

And six months is not too short for courtship besides u ve known her before. So don't use that as an Excuse.



The yam & knife is in your hand so do the needful#
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Richy4(m): 7:01am On Jun 07, 2015
Sorry to say this but you sound like a sugar daddy... the time wasters most girls tries to avoid.

She woke you up from your slumber of un seriousness in terms of relationship. She took you back and you still want more time.

Bro without mincing words, tell her that you are a commitment phob.(ie phobia for commitment) let her move on. Don't waste her time.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Cutehector(m): 7:02am On Jun 07, 2015
misssclassy:
Op from everything you just stated it seems you don't really love this girl. At least not like you used to.
What she did to you took a toll on you and you find it hard to see her the way you formerly saw her.

One thing I always advise is that people should never marry out of a need to satisfy the need of just one of the partners.
Marriage should always be based on mutual consent and true, unbreakable love between the two partners.

I won't advise you to marry this lady. She is desperate to get married because of her ailment and she wants to use you.
She doesn't even care if the two of you are well grounded and have reached the point where you both are ready.

I just read your comment below me and it just became all glaring that this lady doesn't really love you but because she was jilted by the guy she loved, she considered you as a back up of some sort. She felt that since she is in a delicate condition as this, you are her only lifeline, hence her coming back and desperately urging you to marry her.

Marriage is a very crucial aspect of ones life and one has to think really carefully before dabbling into it.
I have a question for you op.
When you think of you future do you see this lady in it? Do you imagine her the mother of your kids? Is she someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with?
You should answer this questions and be true to yourself.

If you believe you are not ready for marriage, please do not go ahead with it.
Do not let this lady force you into something that you are not ready for.

You should also bring this case before your God. Seek His face and pray for direction.

Thanks.
nice.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by XavierBlue(m): 7:05am On Jun 07, 2015
This is a very delicate case, and i implore you to follow your heart and not your mind. If you truly love her which i doubt, then nothing stops you from doing her wish.
Try to have a conversation with her, discuss about her past. I think you were her planB. Just follow your heart and seek direction from God.



XavierBlue
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Cutehector(m): 7:05am On Jun 07, 2015
Tallesty1:
You made plenty sense here........



Good morning.
lol if misssclassy can be directin more of her energy in makin constructiv comments like this in nairaland and drop the attitude, she will gain a lot of respect.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Nobody: 7:11am On Jun 07, 2015
Cutehector:
lol if misssclassy can be directin more of her energy in makin constructiv comments like this in nairaland and drop the attitude, she will gain a lot of respect.

I don't give a fvck about anyone's respect.

I make comments, voice out my opinions through words and basically just do my thing on this forum.
If anyone isn't okay with me or anything I do, it's their problem not mine.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Cutehector(m): 7:14am On Jun 07, 2015
misssclassy:


I don't give a fvck about anyone's respect.

I make comments, voice out my opinions through words and basically just do my thing on this forum.
If anyone isn't okay with me or anything I do, it's their problem not mine.
smiley its well my sister, its well
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by publicenemy(m): 8:18am On Jun 07, 2015
Sleeky4u:
I had an opportunity of asking this girl out a couple of years ago when I had so much love and respect for her, but instead she chose to date a dude far younger than myself cos according to her, i wasnt showin any sign of seriousness then which is not true tho. This kept me psychologically down for a while and I got to know later on that they broke up after 7 months. We later met again after 2 years and we rekindled our relationship, but each time I remember wat transpired in d past, it takes our love backward. 6 months into d relationship, she was diagnosed of an ailment that demands her to give birth urgently or she might find it difficult to do so in the long-run. Now, she is demanding for marriage or she leaves. I have ask her for more time 2 help me get over wat transpired in d past and also seek d face of God, but she has remained adamant. Though i have a good paying job and same applies to her, i just have this feeling she is only after what she can get from this relationship as 6 months is quite a short time for the urgency even though we have been friends for a while. Please I need ur advise. Do I allow her go?

She will leave u in the long run again... A lady that chose someone else over you before,isn't some one you want to spend ur life with. If she wants to go let her go.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Tallesty1(m): 9:32am On Jun 07, 2015
Cutehector:
lol if misssclassy can be directin more of her energy in makin constructiv comments like this in nairaland and drop the attitude, she will gain a lot of respect.
Tha would be difficult nah, especially now that Charley Boy and Tonto Dike are officially her mentors.



Neither of them gives a fuk
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Cutehector(m): 9:37am On Jun 07, 2015
Tallesty1:
Tha would be difficult nah, especially now that Charley Boy and Tonto Dike are officially her mentors.



Neither of them gives a fuk
lol.. Some people are now proud of what they ought to be ashamed of. They glady wear stupidity as garments in d streets. grin
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Kasimaramma2(f): 10:21am On Jun 07, 2015
Sleeky4u:
I had an opportunity of asking this girl out a couple of years ago when I had so much love and respect for her, but instead she chose to date a dude far younger than myself cos according to her, i wasnt showin any sign of seriousness then which is not true tho. This kept me psychologically down for a while and I got to know later on that they broke up after 7 months. We later met again after 2 years and we rekindled our relationship, but each time I remember wat transpired in d past, it takes our love backward. 6 months into d relationship, she was diagnosed of an ailment that demands her to give birth urgently or she might find it difficult to do so in the long-run. Now, she is demanding for marriage or she leaves. I have ask her for more time 2 help me get over wat transpired in d past and also seek d face of God, but she has remained adamant. Though i have a good paying job and same applies to her, i just have this feeling she is only after what she can get from this relationship as 6 months is quite a short time for the urgency even though we have been friends for a while. Please I need ur advise. Do I allow her go?
the idiot chose another person to you,and you still dated her?she dated you by chance nt by choice.You were her second option;she only dated you because things didnt work out.How are you sure this ailment she claims is true?Girls pay doctors to lie.I have seen cases.My guy you deserve more than this....follow your heart n your guts...lots of love
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by beautycrush24(f): 10:31am On Jun 07, 2015
GeneralQuamdeen:
What kind of ailment demand urqent birth?
It happens. I have a friend that is in that situation.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by MrCork: 11:13am On Jun 07, 2015
misssclassy:


I don't give a fvck about anyone's respect.

I make comments, voice out my opinions through words and basically just do my thing on this forum. I will cuss & cuss & cuss & I don't give a fuk about u nairaland b!tches coz y'all b!tches.
If anyone isn't okay with me or anything I do, it's their problem not mine.

^^^^ther she goes again.. ....DRACULA FINALY AWAKE!!

Cc cutehector embarassed

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by chibwike(m): 11:20am On Jun 07, 2015
MrCork:


^^^^ther she goes again.. ....DRACULA FINALY AWAKE!!

Cc cutehector embarassed
We now know the person behing this monicker.....this should be three to four years now.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by chibwike(m): 11:24am On Jun 07, 2015
misssclassy:


I don't give a fvck about anyone's respect.

I make comments, voice out my opinions through words and basically just do my thing on this forum.
If anyone isn't okay with me or anything I do, it's their problem not mine.
Madam its too early to start not giving a fvck.....wait till evening.
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by MrCork: 11:28am On Jun 07, 2015
chibwike:
We now know the person behing this monicker.....this should be three to four years now.


...CONGRATS... GO BAK TO BED & STOP DERAILIN THE THREAD JOR.. GOAT!! angry

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Nobody: 11:50am On Jun 07, 2015
@sleeky4u

The only advice I can give to you, is 'follow your heart'
Re: Advise Needed....... Is She Worth It? by Nobody: 12:46pm On Jun 07, 2015
MrCork:

^^^^ther she goes again.. ....DRACULA FINALY AWAKE!!
Cc cutehector embarassed
You edited my post abi? What's your stress? Just back off anything that concerns me.

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