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Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All - Romance - Nairaland

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Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:17pm On Jun 08, 2015
There is this lady I love so much, she is almost 26yrs and I'm 29. we met during our service year. In the first 5 to 8months of our relationship, it was like heaven on earth, so rosy, incomparable and worthy of emulation. I planned my life in such a way that there would not be any form of delay in business after service.
But as God may have it, man propose but God opposes when its not time yet, till now I've not been able to secure a job, nor even start up my business. She is just managing with the little job we secured for her, while I practice my professions (computer works, both hardware and software, IT & electrical works) and we make living small small through their, and I still try my best to support her with the little I get.

But as I'm talking to you, my lady changed to worst that we may even be in a room but hardly discuss, chat, play and laugh like lovers. Our romantic life is no go area, its dead so long ago. I always beg my woman to cheer up for me because I'm the type that love to play so much, especially with my loved one, i encourage her that things will be fine soon by God's grace. Her character towards me these days hurts me to my bone. But I don't blame her because she is the only daughter of her parents.

What should I do? I love her so much and she is all I desire in life even though she is hurting me & I don't get anything enjoyable in the relationship anymore because of how she ignore and treats me with less value.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by MEGGATRON(m): 10:18pm On Jun 08, 2015
this is the part I hate most about females, no communication?........what's her problem? Have you try talking to her about her new self?

Did she expect you to know what's on her mind telepathically?
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by amnesty7: 10:19pm On Jun 08, 2015
If I were in your shoes I would simply write her off. My opinion.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:25pm On Jun 08, 2015
You shouldn't blame her, nobody likes suffering. She is still with u because she believes God will make a way soon. Keep on praying, everything will be okay.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:30pm On Jun 08, 2015
MEGGATRON:
[color=#990000][/color]

She told me just yesterday that how many months have gone, yet I've no serious business or job, that I should use that time I use to talk & beg her to cheer up to go and do something better with my life. I told her that I'm trying my best except stealing, that in due time we'll balance. But she is not happy with me yet
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by IamLEGEND1: 10:34pm On Jun 08, 2015

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Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:34pm On Jun 08, 2015
tunnamania11:
You shouldn't blame her, nobody likes suffering. She is still with u because she believes God will make a way soon. Keep on praying, everything will be okay.
I'm not blaming her and I'll never do. I told her that if she can't wait for me that she can go & get married if she sees who she can love the way she loves me, but she said nothing about it. My mouth said that but my heart bleeds
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by MEGGATRON(m): 10:39pm On Jun 08, 2015
donlegend:


She told me just yesterday that how many months have gone, yet I've no serious business or job, that I should use that time I use to talk & beg her to cheer up to go and do something better with my life. I told her that I'm trying my best except stealing, that in due time we'll balance. But she is not happy with me yet


I'm sure you are doing your best to obtain a good quality of life and I know you are not happy with the situation either.


you just have to keep pampering her, but if she persist on this behavior I reckon you let her go.

No one enjoys struggling and I believe you have enough trouble dealing with the no good job/business for her to frustrate you more, Which might affect you psychologically.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:39pm On Jun 08, 2015
donlegend:

I'm not blaming her and I'll never do. I told her that if she can't wait for me that she can go & get married if she sees who she can love the way she loves me, but she said nothing about it. My mouth said that but my heart bleeds
Understood bro, let her make her decision, whatever the outcome, just believe God knows best.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Sexxkillz: 10:40pm On Jun 08, 2015
I blame you.

Why go into a serious relationship when you aren't ready? Also, you should have known that on the mind of every girl serving is marriage after service, and you have promised and assured her that you'll get a job and blah blah business would be alright. She's a woman, and her clock is ticking. You can't blame her for wanting to settle down soon. Moreover, she's the only daughter. There's no way her mother hasn't been preaching marriage to her. Now, there is also no way she'll present you to her parents as a fiance, because, let's face the facts here - you can't even properly take care of yourself, so how do you want to take care of her?

Look, she's fed up. Once a woman is fed up, you can't do anything to change her mind. It'll also shock you to know that she has someone else. . . Let her go. And then, face your hustle. In the next few years, things will be ok for you, then you can find another girl to settle down with. Do not expect this girl to keep waiting for you. That is not realistic. She is under a lot of pressure and you cannot currently help the situation. Besides, what's the assurance that you won't leave her in the few years coming? Let's face it, a lot of guys leave those girls who were there for them during their trial some years, so what's the guarantee that yours would be different?

Sometimes, we meet the right people at the wrong time. I only blame you for starting what you couldn't finish. You don't plan and build your future on "maybe" and "if I". You plan and build with what's on ground. You had nothing on ground before taking the relationship serious. Now you're hurting.

Let her go. That's the only way out right now.

8 Likes

Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by 2dice(m): 10:43pm On Jun 08, 2015
This is the phase would will know .. If she is the ONE .. Don't kill yourself... Baba God WEy dey cook never comot for kitchen
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 10:43pm On Jun 08, 2015
I'm happy I meet this set of guys here now! I appreciate your matured minds. May God reward you all
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by elantraceey(f): 10:45pm On Jun 08, 2015
Op you wanna know the truth?


You've lost her already , just prepare your heart for the moment she'll tell you.

1 Like

Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by jayedu108: 10:51pm On Jun 08, 2015
elantraceey:
Op you wanna know the truth?


You've lost her already , just prepare your heart for the moment she'll tell you.
why are u dat harsh take it easy @op dnt mind her jst keep praying God will see u through.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Nobody: 11:06pm On Jun 08, 2015
Sexxkillz:
I blame you.

Why go into a serious relationship when you aren't ready? Also, you should have known that on the mind of every girl serving is marriage after service, and you have promised and assured her that you'll get a job and blah blah business would be alright. She's a woman, and her clock is ticking. You can't blame her for wanting to settle down soon. Moreover, she's the only daughter. There's no way her mother hasn't been preaching marriage to her. Now, there is also no way she'll present you to her parents as a fiance, because, let's face the facts here - you can't even properly take care of yourself, so how do you want to take care of her?

Look, she's fed up. Once a woman is fed up, you can't do anything to change her mind. It'll also shock you to know that she has someone else. . . Let her go. And then, face your hustle. In the next few years, things will be ok for you, then you can find another girl to settle down with. Do not expect this girl to keep waiting for you. That is not realistic. She is under a lot of pressure and you cannot currently help the situation. Besides, what's the assurance that you won't leave her in the few years coming? Let's face it, a lot of guys leave those girls who were there for them during their trial some years, so what's the guarantee that yours would be different?

Sometimes, we meet the right people at the wrong time. I only blame you for starting what you couldn't finish. You don't plan and build your future on "maybe" and "if I". You plan and build with what's on ground. You had nothing on ground before taking the relationship serious. Now you're hurting.

Let her go. That's the only way out right now.
I understand you & why you sounded like this, because you may have made it. I can't be coward to let go what I desire because of money. Its better I tried, to God be the glory if I loose. God is the giver of money he can give within the interval of few days and the rich can even turn poor just in seconds. DON'T JUDGE ME.
Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Sexxkillz: 11:37pm On Jun 08, 2015
donlegend:

I understand you & why you sounded like this, because you may have made it. I can't be coward to let go what I desire because of money. Its better I tried, to God be the glory if I loose. God is the giver of money he can give within the interval of few days and the rich can even turn poor just in seconds. DON'T JUDGE ME.
There you go. . . The average conventional Nigerian. . . Always quick to bring in God in simple matters of common sense.

You can't be a coward to let go what you desire? Now, where is that object of your desire? Is it a matter of cowardice or being a realist? Stop calling God. He's a giver of money as at when due. Did you think rushing into a relationship because you didn't want to lose your desire will make God rush and give you money? Nigerians! Always thinking after the main event.

This isn't about being rich or poor. This is about common sense. Can you take care of yourself and that girl right now? If God says you'll marry in 2020, who are you to try and force it in 2015? I cannot judge you. I'm only applying the little sense God gave me.

Go on, keep on crying then. When this girl leaves you, jump to another girl instantly and God will give you money in 2 days to marry her. . . So impatient and headstrong.

6 Likes

Re: Please Help Me With You Advice, I'm Loosing It All by Pheals(f): 12:30am On Jun 09, 2015
amnesty7:
If I were in your shoes I would simply write her off. My opinion.
that's y u can't '' wear '' the op shoes


i could suggest patience..all we be well jare op

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