Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,209,791 members, 8,007,167 topics. Date: Tuesday, 19 November 2024 at 04:49 PM

My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please (35201 Views)

Relationship Is For Those Who Are Willing And Ready To Forgive Each Other / Mature Minds . Strictly For Adults / What Is Your Craziest Sexual Experience? Mature Minds Only (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by believer01: 4:42pm On Jun 10, 2015
queensmith:
You need to think about what is important you you - clearly marriage is, but have you listened to what he has said? Are his excuses sound?

I know alot of women only have marriage in their minds because we are conditioned so, but sometimes we have to asses things for ourselves.

I don't think you should wait for him forever, and if he isn't clear on the length of time it will take him to be ready I think you should stop turning potential suitors down. He is not ready doesn't mean another man is the same. but i understand you've invested time so it's not easy to let go.

All in all I think you should make it clear that you won't wait around, you can't force him to marry you and if the idea of marriage only sends him into a rage I think the message is clear. Maybe he really doesn't want to commit.
your comment is so simple and straight thank you

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Deefuray(f): 4:45pm On Jun 10, 2015
7 years? shocked
@op pls leave him alone and move on nd quit waiting for any wedding that isn't visible. Your biological clock is ticking.

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jun 10, 2015
Are you still interested in this guy? Because he seems to be tired and is hoping you will leave him so he won't be responsible for any heart break.

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by pwerrymansion(f): 5:07pm On Jun 10, 2015
Mistake women make. How in petes' name can you cohabit or date a guy for 7years? Don't you realise that he's bored of you? Even legally married people get bored with each other let alone mere courtship! Sweetie you know the answer to your questions bt u r just scared of living in that reality. If you are a risk-averse person, I suggest you give other guys attention b4 you end up in yaba left. Enough said.

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:21pm On Jun 10, 2015
Time waits for no one,especially ladies.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by odeku457(m): 5:23pm On Jun 10, 2015
No time

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by adorablepepple(f): 5:25pm On Jun 10, 2015
mrklean:
Please advice me I received this txt from my girlfriend. AYO AM SORRY, BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. TILL WE MEET AGAIN. GOODBYE THANK 4 EVERYTHING. AM GOING TO MISS U. MY PARENT DONT WANT U, IN MY LIVE .
She just dumped you, cry her a river

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by kbams241: 5:27pm On Jun 10, 2015
Ask him if e Has plans of getting married to u before ur tym runs out...if truly e loves u..e wld let u knw

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:28pm On Jun 10, 2015
A woman does not wait for a man, Its the other way round.

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by ikombe: 5:28pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous.
tell me ur real account or no advice for u undecided

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jun 10, 2015
Nice story and wonderful comments. I finally registered on NL cos of this thread after being a guest for 5 years. Abeg, dash me some likes to welcome me here. Thanks

38 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by BuddhaPalm(m): 5:29pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek

Make hay while the sun shines...

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by ikombe: 5:29pm On Jun 10, 2015
Deefuray:
7 years? shocked
@op pls leave him alone and move on nd quit waiting for any wedding that isn't visible. Your biological clock is ticking.
leave him maka y na undecided
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by DoTheNeedful: 5:30pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
26yrs

He is probably 26 too or 27 angry. Okay,please dont rush him. Not many guys marry at that age. Dont turn other guys away outrightly.
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:30pm On Jun 10, 2015
my dear,if sumone serious cums again to ask for ur hand pls accept. leave the guy let him chase his dreams.u mite nt b part of his dream. ..

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by ikombe: 5:31pm On Jun 10, 2015
adorablepepple:
She just dumped you, cry her a river
River

wicked gal grin
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Sanchez01: 5:32pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek
Sorry Dear, @ the bolded, it is not inevitable. It's a choice and this is why he has chosen not to talk about it. I think is all that is required here. If you don't agree with his dreams of making millions before marriage, then simply walk out, explain your reasons to him and move on. You of all persons know how old you are now and it would be unwise to keep mute just because he doesn't want it or want to talk about it.
Besides, relationships are not cult that you cannot walk out of it willingly. Seven years and you're not trying to rush him? My dear, it's a relationship and not a degree programme.

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Kennywills7(m): 5:32pm On Jun 10, 2015
mrklean:
Please advice me I received this txt from my girlfriend. AYO AM SORRY, BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. TILL WE MEET AGAIN. GOODBYE THANK 4 EVERYTHING. AM GOING TO MISS U. MY PARENT DONT WANT U, IN MY LIVE .
Hehehehe bro, u hv just bn dump
Take heart cool

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by NoRetreat(m): 5:33pm On Jun 10, 2015
Obviously you are not growing younger anymore, pray for the Lord's direction and talk to him on:
(1) His means to get millions
(2) When is he getting the millions
(3) His plan for you
You need all these to know if you are important in his life or millions or else in his bid to get millions,you might be either abandoned or become a sacrifice!!!

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by SpeedyConnect(m): 5:33pm On Jun 10, 2015
Nne no dull yaself cos you will be the onw to bear the brunt ultimately. You guys should talk seriously about this. Let him know your stance, know you are having suitors, that we prove if he has plans at all for you since the excuse of having millions could be a decoy.
So if you tell him you have suitors and it doesn't startle him a bit then methinks he doesn't take you the way you take him.
He may be tired and looking for a break but doesn't know how to communicate that to you.
Just take a bold step since you are not getting any younger.
Granted you guys have been for a very long time and can still be tenacious to see if tjings will work out. But then again, wisdom equally consists in knowing when to quit.
Wish you well.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by danduchi(m): 5:34pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
26yrs
27yrs should be the maximum for u to decide...give him one more year sister and make ur decision....if he remains adamant abt it pls leave him...at 27yrs,u are at ur prime and more admirers will come and willing to settle. Wish you the best
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 5:34pm On Jun 10, 2015
mrklean:
Please advice me I received this txt from my girlfriend. AYO AM SORRY, BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. TILL WE MEET AGAIN. GOODBYE THANK 4 EVERYTHING. AM GOING TO MISS U. MY PARENT DONT WANT U, IN MY LIVE .

do not reply....

try as much as you can not to reply or call her..... make her feel u r comfortable with the idea.


just try I understand how hard you have to fight.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by happney65: 5:34pm On Jun 10, 2015
You want to get married to him abi?Does he have a Job?and i guess you also have one too abi?If both of you get something doing,Abeg do as our Yoruba Ladies dey do..Make hin inpregrante you asap..Get pregrant for him joo and no story again..Simple
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by RiffRaff: 5:35pm On Jun 10, 2015
Tell him of all ur fears the way you just told us... Let him know you might consider leaving him.
From his answer and reaction.... U will know wassup...


**I wish u wouldnt throw away a relationship with a good man just becuz he is not ready to marry yet.

Guys: Your life ambition VS Love...
Which would u choose?

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by believer01: 5:36pm On Jun 10, 2015
nnamdiokere45:
my dear,if sumone serious cums again to ask for ur hand pls accept. leave the guy let him chase his dreams.u mite nt b part of his dream. ..
andromida:
Are you still interested in this guy? Because he seems to be tired and is hoping you will leave him so he won't be responsible for any heart break.
Deefuray:
7 years? shocked
@op pls leave him alone and move on nd quit waiting for any wedding that isn't visible. Your biological clock is ticking.
thank u @all
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Acidosis(m): 5:36pm On Jun 10, 2015
This is the reason I feel LOVE is a scam.


All women want is marriage, not love.

7 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by zubby29(m): 5:36pm On Jun 10, 2015
life itself is a risk,hmmm.dis seems hard o.call him aside and tell him ur fears.its ok to entertain fair at times,assure him of ur love and ask him abt his plans concerning marriage,if his fear is money tell him u r willing to foot part of d bills for marriage and support him der after.if he dosnt gv u a concret plan or promise plz my dear run for ur life.forgt d 7 yrs nd start a new 1,boys wnt beg u forvr dnt forgt dat

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by omaji53jeremiah: 5:36pm On Jun 10, 2015
love is wat we all need
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Lilimax(f): 5:37pm On Jun 10, 2015
Sis., the earlier you call this relationship quit, the better for you.
The guy is absolutely not interested in marrying you... he wants to use you and dump you embarassed
Remember that age does not wait for ladies in marriage but guys can get married even at their old age.
Better wise up and move on with your life.
Your missing rib is somewhere waiting for you.

I wish you well as you discover him in the nearest future. smiley

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by 190theclown: 5:38pm On Jun 10, 2015
I-de-laff grin grin

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

Secondary Students Were Having Sex In The Class / My 1-week Girlfriend Is About To Turn EX. / Pastor Kaycee Proposes To His Girlfriend At The Cinema In Warri (Photos)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 56
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.