You know how frustrating a long and unexciting relationship can be. Plus, there are chick waiting to be boinked. It's like mental, emotional and sexual torture. Worst case is when the bae is still very much into you.

Follow these steps to end it without hurting her and feeling guilty. Don't rush all the steps together though. She must believe one step before going to the next.

Note: Only for naij girls.

1. We all saw this one coming. Tell her you are broke, ACT IT WELL (Watch Clemson Ohameze movies for tips) and nag about it a lot. Make up something like, you took a loan at your workplace or you made them lose a big deal and you have to work for a "long long long" time to pay up for it.

2. Constantly ask her for little things like N100 credit, change for transport (or ask her for fuel money), N1000 to help you eat for the week etc.

3. Let her catch you crying (figure a way), then beg her not to tell anyone. Tell her you were crying cause you don't see things changing soon.

4. Now, tell her how your friends laugh at you and mock you. You can get your friend to text you some humiliating strokings, then show her.

5. Start asking her if she still loves (I'm very sure she'll give you the "are you mad?" look). Randomly call her and beg her not to break up with you.

6. Start a serious argument, I mean, a really heated argument. A very recommended one is the "I know you're seeing someone else" argument.

7. Finally, after the argument, don't call her again. It's over, she'll not call you again either. She'll be happy not to hear from you again. If she calls you to make up...she's not Nigerian...and that's another ball game.

I know some of y'all will bash me but isn't it a f@#king memorable way to break up with a girl? YOLO!

Nice one... Counter-thread loadin..

Hahaha ... Very true ....

Brilliant!

So I'd have to feign so low just to initiate a break-up?

Asking for call times and crying? This is absurd.

I care so much about my reputation, so begging and crying prior to the break-up is more like building up stories that she would get to share with her friends.

Aint buying this approach.

Nice one but ITS OVER is enough for me. Why pass through those stress just to break-up when u'll probably pass tru another stress in getting a new babe.

Correct Baddex; u're on point! 9ic one.

sounds good on paper
@OPi guess u havent met those ones who will neva let go

Thanks guys. The idea just hit me at work and I thought I should share.

Afrok:
Nice one but ITS OVER is enough for me. Why pass through those stress just to break-up when u'll probably pass tru another stress in getting a new babe.

I get totally u but imagine you had the time and energy to pull this off...it'll be fun, I swear. The laffs u and ur goons will have knowing fully well she's chopping.

AirborneLacer:
So I'd have to feign so low just to initiate a break-up?

Asking for call times and crying? This is absurd.

I care so much about my reputation, so begging and crying prior to the break-up is more like building up stories that she would get to share with her friends.

Aint buying this approach.

You're probably one of those over-the-top serious guys. You don't have to take it take this seriously, it's just A FUNNY IDEA.

And btw, if anyone actually pulled this off including me, It's probably because he don't give a rat's ass about what some nosy girls will think about him.

CHIIIIIIILL!!!

Luvdmx:

Funny sheet.