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Did I Make A Mistake - Family - Nairaland

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Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? / I Made A Horrible Mistake With My Lovely Wife / Did I Do The Right Thing In This Situation?? (2) (3) (4)

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Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:18pm On Jun 26, 2015
I have two kids now 4yrs and 2yrs+. i decided to stop having children becos of financial problem and to get a job to suport my husband. he works in an oil company bt they dont pay them well.

I have been searching for a job since march and nothing has happend. now an thinking if i should just go ahead and have my children (two more) or continue searching.

Before i got maried i have always wished i woud finish having children before am 35 and now am 33. If i had
gone through with my initial plan, my third baby would be 9 months now and i will have one more and i will be done.

Am just thinking if i made a mistake.
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by thorpido(m): 1:22pm On Jun 26, 2015
Did you and your hubby agree you will have four children?Your financial status has not really changed so why do you want to churn out more children?

What i believe is most important now is how you can supplement the house income by getting a job or doing some trade.If income increases and you and your hubby want more children and you both can take care of them,then go ahead and have the kids you want and stop bothering about whether you made a mistake or not.
There's nothing you can do about it now anyway.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:24pm On Jun 26, 2015
yes we did
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Dyt(f): 1:25pm On Jun 26, 2015
Mistake?

Clears throat
Well
Please stick to those two wonderful kids biko
Give them the best, when you have enough money, you can have 10kids if you want.

And oil company that's not well paying, that I haven't seen.

We have all had our plans but one thing or the other disrupts it, don't bite yourself over that.

Go out
Get a job or find something doing and stop thinking about having another child NOW

4 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:27pm On Jun 26, 2015
thanks for that wonderful comment

1 Like

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:31pm On Jun 26, 2015
You have been looking for a job since march to support you husband and you haven't yet gotten and you are thinking of having more children? Not even one but two?

Listen young woman, what's the point of giving birth to children when you don't have sufficient funds to take care of them?
If you do that, you would be submitting them to a childhood where they won't have the necessary things needed for growth and development both physically, social, mentally and academically.

Asides that, you would be putting too much pressure on yourself and your husband.

Just cool down and wait till you and your husband are financially stable and have a steady source of income, then you can go on and have your children.

8 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:34pm On Jun 26, 2015
Dyt:
Mistake?

Clears throat
Well
Please stick to those two wonderful kids biko
Give them the best, when you have enough money, you can have 10kids if you want.

And oil company that's not well paying, that I haven't seen.

We have all had our plans but one thing or the other disrupts it, don't bite yourself over that.

Go out
Get a job or find something doing and stop thinking about having another child NOW

Abeg , she can't have 10 kids. This country is already well overpopulated. grin

3 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 1:38pm On Jun 26, 2015
grin
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by apolonius(m): 2:22pm On Jun 26, 2015
It is a decision you need to take with your hubby.You need not bring such issues here;communicate these thoughts and your anxiety to your hubby and work with him to achieving what is best for you two.
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by nwaanambra1(m): 2:23pm On Jun 26, 2015
Gracie4Ugo:
I have two kids now 4yrs and 2yrs+. i decided to stop having children becos of financial problem and to get a job to suport my husband. he works in an oil company bt they dont pay them well.

I have been searching for a job since march and nothing has happend. now an thinking if i should just go ahead and have my children (two more) or continue searching.
[b][/b]
Before i got maried i have always wished i woud finish having children before am 35 and now am 33. If i had
gone through with my initial plan, my third baby would be 9 months now and i will have one more and i will be done.

Am just thinking if i made a mistake.

you dont have job, your husband is not making enough money to take care of himself, you and your two kids then on top of that you still want to add another 2 kids! Damn it! some people truly love being poor! shocked shocked

tufiakwa! if poverty na ration, abeg make una take my share! cheesy cheesy

7 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Chaulay1: 2:47pm On Jun 26, 2015
You just started looking for a job in March, 3 months ago and you have already given up because no job is forth coming. Like seriously shocked shocked shocked! Abeg you need to be persistent. Of course, nobody prays for a prolonged job hunting, but I mean 3 months is too short to start complaining.

If you are having financial challenges with 2 kids, how much more four kids. Bearing kids and working can be combined, it is not a must you must sit at home to have kids. Mind you, a pregnant woman looking for a job has slimmer chances of securing a job as most employers will be considering 3 months maternity for a very new staff. That is just the reality except it is a government job. So it is advisable to secure a job first and continue with child bearing.

Another thing you may also consider is if you have plans to work (I mean paid employment) but decided to put off working till you are done with child bearing, you will be about 36years+ without any work experience. Nothing bad with this if you plan to be self employed but most HR will think twice before employing such but again except for government agencies.

It is well.

1 Like

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Kimoni: 2:50pm On Jun 26, 2015
Gracie4Ugo:
I have two kids now 4yrs and 2yrs+. i decided to stop having children becos of financial problem and to get a job to suport my husband. he works in an oil company bt they dont pay them well.

I have been searching for a job since march and nothing has happend. now an thinking if i should just go ahead and have my children (two more) or continue searching.

Before i got maried i have always wished i woud finish having children before am 35 and now am 33. If i had
gone through with my initial plan, my third baby would be 9 months now and i will have one more and i will be done.

Am just thinking if i made a mistake.


What has changed from the bolded above? Do you or your husband now have other sources of income?

It's okay to desire 4 kids but reality should supercede wishful thinking. Why do you want to bring more kids to the world when you are still struggling to maintain the ones you already have undecided undecided

Pls focus on how to get a job or start a business albeit small to support your husband so you guys can have better lives.
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by rolled: 3:00pm On Jun 26, 2015
Just March ?
You are not serious
I pity the poor guy

2 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by ElFenomeno1: 3:05pm On Jun 26, 2015
Gracie4Ugo:
I have two kids now 4yrs and 2yrs+. i decided to stop having children becos of financial problem and to get a job to suport my husband. he works in an oil company bt they dont pay them well.

I have been searching for a job since march and nothing has happend. now an thinking if i should just go ahead and have my children (two more) or continue searching.

Before i got maried i have always wished i woud finish having children before am 35 and now am 33. If i had
gone through with my initial plan, my third baby would be 9 months now and i will have one more and i will be done.

Am just thinking if i made a mistake.

You want to bring more children to the world to come and suffer and cause your family some unnecessary hardship?
You need to be flogged in the backside with a cow skin belt!

1 Like

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by helovesme(f): 3:09pm On Jun 26, 2015
ElFenomeno1:


You want to bring more children to the world to come and suffer and cause your family some unnecessary hardship?
You need to be flogged with in the backside with a cow skin belt!

word !
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by helovesme(f): 3:11pm On Jun 26, 2015
nwaanambra1:


you dont have job, your husband is not making enough money to take care of himself, you and your two kids then on top of that you still want to add another 2 kids! Damn it! some people truly love being poor! shocked shocked

tufiakwa! if poverty na ration, abeg make una take my share! cheesy cheesy

word !

even people wey chop belleful remain (both husband and wife) with access to subsidized child care, free school for kids, free healthcare, and even state benefits (if they decide to tow that line) are not having 4kids these days.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by raumdeuter: 3:13pm On Jun 26, 2015
Are you planning to use of the new kids for jazz money? Cos thats the only logical explanation

Money no reach for 2, and you plan to have more or would your state govt pay you for having more kids?

2 Likes

Re: Did I Make A Mistake by damiso(f): 3:21pm On Jun 26, 2015
Kimoni:

What has changed from the bolded above? Do you or your husband now have other sources of income?
It's okay to desire 4 kids but reality should supercede wishful thinking. Why do you want to bring more kids to the world when you are still struggling to maintain the ones you already have undecided undecided
Pls focus on how to get a job or start a business albeit small to support your husband so you guys can have better lives.
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by DollyParton1(f): 7:48am On Jun 27, 2015
Why have more kids when its hard to take care of the ones on ground?
You should be thinking of ways to empower yourself instead. Jobs are hard to come by these days. There are people on job hunt for several years now.

My advice is that you face your two kids squarely and take care of them to the best of your ability.

I thought most people give birth to only two kids these days. Times are hard.
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by mutter(f): 9:59am On Jun 27, 2015
helovesme:


word !

even people wey chop belleful remain (both husband and wife) with access to subsidized child care, free school for kids, free healthcare, and even state benefits (if they decide to tow that line) are not having 4kids these days.

I have more than 10.So that is not quite right.
Having kid's is something you have to be convinced about . You also need your husband to want it too.
Left to some people we would soon have forced sterilisation. angry
Re: Did I Make A Mistake by Nobody: 2:43pm On Jun 27, 2015
thanks

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