Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? - Family - Nairaland
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| Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 5minsmadness: 12:30pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
It is generally accepted that in any sane marriage institution the wife is meant to be submissive to her husband. Wether Christian or Muslim or pagan, the wife has to be a good follower to enable the man lead properly or else chaos ensues. Just as you can't have two drivers in a car, you can't have two leaders in a marriage. Even a team has a Team leader. So what does it mean for a wife to be submissive? And where does one draw the line between submission and slavery? Is there any difference between the two? 4 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Zi: 12:32pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Response to your husband's love is Submission.  3 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 12:35pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
I |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Being joyal,respectful and harking to his demand is submission bt i doubt if women are submissive these days. |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 5minsmadness: 1:04pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
gregzone:l for lesbian?  1 Like |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 2CatWoman: 1:07pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
It wasn't till I came to NL that I came across this submission stuff. I asked my hubby if he thought I was submissive and he just laughed. Then he went back to cooking the dinner whilst I watched my program. Your analogy of two ship captains or two car drivers doesn't really add up for me in the modern world. The wife may have expertise in what may have traditionally been the mans domain, this might have even been what attracted him to her in the first place. 8 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by coogaluta(f): 1:09pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
I've been looking for a way to de-stress this weekend Make I park my mat here 1 Like |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by hahn(m): 1:24pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
I believe in any relationship both parties have to be submissive. Basically, being submissive is about respecting the other person's opinion. I guess the reason why men make much of an issue about our wives being submissive is because women make a lot of emotional decisions and thus it is necessary for men, who are more rational in our decision making, to take the lead in most situations. Still, any man who intends to have a peaceful marriage will always seeks his wife's opinion on issues before taking the final decision and vice versa. Submission should be the ability to agree with your spouse's opinion even when you feel your opinion is better. Both ways 12 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Pineapp: 1:26pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Submission is Obedience … 1 Like |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by hahn(m): 1:30pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
2CatWoman: I guess the reason why "submission" is an issue in an African setting is because the woman is expected to be seen and not heard and should only be concerned about what goes on in the kitchen. But what most people have failed to realise is that most of these "opinions" originated at a time when women couldn't get basic education or didn't pursue careers and dreams of their own. Still, I guess you first have to understand what an unsubmissive wife is to get the whole picture 5 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 1:48pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
I think submission has to with giving in to one's husband. . Could be attributed to being loyal too. . One thing many guys forget while screaming submission is that love and submission go hand in hand in marriage. . God even instructed husbands first to love their wives before He instructed wives to submit. You don't treat a woman like trash and expect submission. . Submission will come naturally if you treat your wife like your own, infact she go dey adore you sef  3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Stillfire: 1:51pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Submissive Behavior Description submissive (or passive) behavior means shying away from saying what you really mean and not seeking to achieve your needs, particularly when someone else has conflicting needs. A submissive person is a shrinking violet, avoiding upsetting others either because they fear them or they fear to hurt their feelings. When things go wrong, the submissive person is likely to assume that they are to blame in some way, and accept culpability when singled out by other people. You can often see submissiveness in the use of such as floppy language, qualifiers and submissive body language, although these do not always indicate submissive behavior. Example A child is bullied at school but neither fights back nor tells the teachers. They may wish they could be stronger, like the bully. A manager tends to avoid giving complex work to one of their subordinates who complains whenever something becomes difficult. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I should have realized that you wanted to go elsewhere. Discussion The core assumption of submissive behavior is that you are inferior to others in some way, and hence that other people have greater rights and more valid truths than you. In Transactional Analysis, the adaptive child may become submissive when coping with the controlling parent. The submissive person will typically suppress their feelings and repress memories of being dominated, particularly early triggers that led them to their submissive state. They may also cope with the disappointment of not getting what they want by trivializing. The result of submissive behavior is that you get little of what you want whilst losing the respect of other people. You are also likely to fall into a spiral of failing self-esteem, internal anger and psychosomatic problems. **************************************************************************************** Evidently I do not have a Submissive behavior, I have an Assertive Behavior. Assertiveness is... Description Assertive behavior means standing up for your rights and expressing your truths in a way that neither shrinks from what you want to communicate nor assumes that they are the only valid truths. Assertiveness also includes recognizing and respecting the equality, rights and truths of other people. Example John, I don't like the way you said that. I want to stay at home tonight. I think Jane is not comfortable with the way you look at her. Discussion Assertiveness can be understood in terms of what it is not: it is neither Aggressive behavior and Passive behavior. In both persuasion and defending against persuasive efforts, assertive behavior is a powerful tool. The assumptions on which assertiveness is based are that: All people have needs that they legitimately seek to satisfy, including you. All people have equal and legitimate rights, including you. All people can contribute to conversation, including you. A critical aspect of this is an assumption of equality, which leads to a respect for others that moderates, but does not obviate, the seeking to achieve one's own goals. The result of assertive behavior is that you get much of what you want whilst retaining the respect of other people. With respect to winning and losing: Aggressive behavior assumes I win, you lose. Passive behavior assumes I lose, you win. Assertive behavior assumes I win, you win. In Transactional Analysis, the Adult uses assertive behavior and language, seeking equality rather than control or safety. My behavior has worked for me so far with my relationship with people. Everyone has a say. There's compromise, how can we meet each other half way, I mean we are not animals, I am the mediator. And I hope Nigerians can understand that. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by freecocoa(f): 1:58pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Is there supposed to be a different meaning from what the word really means? Submission is yielding or surrendering oneself to the will or authority of another. It is pretty much self explanatory, no need to twist anything. 3 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 2:22pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
coogaluta:  Care for a popcorn? |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 2CatWoman: 2:24pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
freecocoa: Yes that's what its supposed to mean I guess to the religious folks. But most guys here think it means they just get their own way. I don't think I submit to my man. |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 2:27pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 2:32pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
2CatWoman:Were you pregnant then? |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by crackhaus: 2:38pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
freecocoa:Lol, why did you remove "to a superior force" from that definition? |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by coogaluta(f): 2:39pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 2:41pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 2:42pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
2CatWoman: Clearly shows from his response that you are not a submissive wife----if indeed the scenario you painted actually happened  My analogy doesn't hold up for you... Well, you are entitled to your opinion. What I know is no matter how pretty you paint it, one of you is the head of the home and responsible for making the final decisions. In the example you gave above I can clearly see that it's you . Kudos!2 Likes |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by tender09: 2:51pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Yeh! wat sort of usernames are these, 5minsmadness asked a question, 10minsmadness is just above me, ha nairaland na wa o Modify: these pple r confusing me now now 10minsmadness is nobody  yeh but me im sure im okay  |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 2CatWoman: 2:55pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
10minsmadness: We work together for the sake of our home. There are things that I do better than him so he just lets me get on with it and vice versa. So because he cooked the meal that now makes me the head does it? 1 Like |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by bukatyne(f): 2:58pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
2CatWoman: It makes it sugar |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 3:11pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 3:13pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by 2CatWoman: 3:14pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
gregzone: No I wasn't pregnant but that was the kind of extreme example that gives the pro-submissives HBP. Now I come to think of it what has cooking got to do with being a submissive wife  . I direct this question to the OP |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by Nobody: 3:28pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Submissiveness! Hmm! |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by ifyalways(f): 3:39pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Submission = Respecting a husband that respects himself, wife and the vows he took with the wife. |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by freecocoa(f): 4:26pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
crackhaus:I don't know what you mean. People can submit to whom ever they want. The question is what submission means, not who to submit to. |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by dubylhover(m): 4:29pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
2CatWoman: do you stay in nigeria? |
| Re: Ladies, What Do You Understand By The Term "Submission"? by cococandy(f): 4:30pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Actually husband and wife have to be submissive to each other for the marriage to work happily. In each situation according to what works best. I know it sounds contrary but imagine a marriage where the man wants to have his way all the time. Are you imagining? Tell me how that works. It never does. He will come off as controlling and inconsiderate and the wife will be resentful. Any person who at some point in their life can't let the next person's wish be carried out instead of theirs all the time will never make a good spouse. 5minsmadness: 7 Likes 3 Shares |
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