coogar:


no man desires to marry a dullard!
of course, we want women to take important decisions. men can't always be home every time & they need to be sure the woman they left at home is intelligent enough to make decisions that would secure lives & properties in the home.

it's not like men don't want women to take decisions. there would be decisions she would take that would also suit her hubby. the main issue is when hubby wants to take road A & wifey believes road B is safer & quicker. in this instance, wifey should let her hubby take the lead.

the only reason she chose to marry him out of the 500 toasters that asked her for marriage was because she saw him as an intelligent guy. if your suitor isn't more intelligent than you are then do not marry him cos you can never submit to his daft opinion. it's as simple as that.

We seem to understand each other, but the problem is that, you make it seem like men are generally more intelligent than women.

Two intelligent people should know who's more intelligent between them.

freecocoa:
I like you more and more.

I will have to answer as if this is just about me. If I find myself in that place, I have never been in this place where this was a problem, but I know that, the best would be for who knows better to make the call and a reasonable man/woman knows when to back down.

since we are assuming women are naturally hypergamous, we can conclude your husband should be more intelligent than you are. if that is the case, he's the one that knows better so you should naturally let him take the decision. if, however, he confesses that he's clueless about the situation then you should come to his aid.

freecocoa:
We seem to understand each other, but the problem is that, you make it seem like men are generally more intelligent than women.
Two intelligent people should know who's more intelligent between them.

it's called natural selection.....

you naturally desire a more intelligent man. you want him taller, richer, more exposed, more enterprising, more leadership skills, etc. that was the reason you chose him out of the lots in the first place so why shouldn't you let him lead you?

or am i missing something?

submission here is the dictionary meaning.

Submission

I don't think its a bad thing when its done by the two parties involved and done sometimes when required. For marriage to work, we have to submit to each other sometimes.

What I don't agree with is absolute submission which is done every time by one spouse. That is slavery. Most people will deny this but most women who believe in submission are not absolutely submissive and that is because it's almost impossible.

https://www.nairaland.com/2178653/marry-man-cant-trust

Submission easily comes with Total Love and Trust.

When you don't trust your spouse why & how the heck did you end up with him?

For Mrs title or his money?

coogar:


since we are assuming women are naturally hypergamous, we can conclude your husband should be more intelligent than you are. if that is the case, he's the one that knows better so you should naturally let him take the decision. if, however, he confesses that he's clueless about the situation then you should come to his aid.

Lol, we've had this argument before.

Not all women do and the fact that most women marry up, doesn't mean the man is intelligent, he just has more money, and last I checked, having some dough doesn't mean you are intelligent.

freecocoa:
Lol, we've had this argument before.

Not all women do and the fact that most women marry up, doesn't mean the man is intelligent, he just has more money, and last I checked, having some dough doesn't mean you are intelligent.

if there's any woman out there that married because of his money & not because of his intelligence then she deserves every crap she gets in her marriage.

if i marry a witch with my 2 eyes wide open then i should never complain she's sucking my blood once we are married. intelligence & wisdom are very important when choosing a partner.

Ewuro4:
https://www.nairaland.com/2178653/marry-man-cant-trust
Submission easily comes with Total Love and Trust.

When you don't trust your spouse why & how the heck did you end up with him?
For Mrs title or his money?

it beats me.....
why would any woman marry a man she cannot trust to make intelligent decisions? if he decides to take a 2nd & 3rd wife, the woman shouldn't complain. she knew from the outset that the man wasn't the sharpest tool in the drawer so she deserves every abuse she gets from him.

Ewuro4:


sorry bro

Been there done that

Lol. The clown that banned me did it biitch way, though. She's forgiven.

bukatyne:

---

https://www.nairaland.com/1933513/love-submission[/hr]

Na work you give me so

Check If it would work.

Tenk mami. on the cheek o. Ehen

Interesting.

Why would a woman marry a man she can't submit to?
That in itself is a recipe for disaster.

coogar:


if there's any woman out there that married because of his money & not because of his intelligence then she deserves every crap she gets in her marriage.

if i marry a witch with my 2 eyes wide open then i should never complain she's sucking my blood once we are married. intelligence & wisdom are very important when choosing a partner.



it beats me.....
why would any woman marry a man she cannot trust to make intelligent decisions? if he decides to take a 2nd & 3rd wife, the woman shouldn't complain. she knew from the outset that the man wasn't the sharpest tool in the drawer so she deserves every abuse she gets from him.

Don't misconstrue me, all you want to say is, that men are more intelligent than women, and I don't agree with you.

A woman being more intelligent than her man doesn't make him not intelligent, he can be more intelligent in some aspects just like him, let him know when to back down, same for the woman.

freecocoa:
Don't misconstrue me, all you want to say is, that men are more intelligent than women, and I don't agree with you.

i didn't say men are more intelligent than women. i am saying women should be very careful to choose a more intelligent man to marry. obviously, there are daft men out there but would you choose a dullard to marry?

A woman being more intelligent than her man doesn't make him not intelligent, he can be more intelligent in some aspects just like him, let him know when to back down, same for the woman.

read my lips.....
a woman should never marry a man that is less intelligent than her. if she does, the marriage is doomed!

teambuck2u:


Tenk mami. on the cheek o. Ehen

You are.welcome

coogar:


i didn't say men are more intelligent than women. i am saying women should be very careful to choose a more intelligent man to marry. obviously, there are daft men out there but would you choose a dullard to marry?



read my lips.....
a woman should never marry a man that is less intelligent than her. if she does, the marriage is doomed!

And I am telling you that, women should marry a man who sees her as someone he can talk about it with, before reaching a conclusion, he should listen to her reasons, analyse and if he's deemed fit, by all means, let the decision be his, he just should be able to do same for you.

Two intelligent people can find themselves, it's also okay if the woman is more intelligent in any way, it doesn't make you less a man, she knows this, any intelligent woman does.

freecocoa:
That's not true.

Unless you are speaking based on religion, then I don't know why submission can't be flexible.

The Pilot has a co-pilot, the pilot's the one that flies the plane, not because he is a man but because he knows better.

young lady,im not sure i mentioned anything abt religion oo...submission cant b flexible..its either yu give it or you are being given,its not like loyalty which is a 2 way street according to harvey spector ,respect,love, can go both ways..its just like telling buhari to b submisive to osibanjo..he wud respect his ideas and contribution,but d submission has to go to 1 person

dubylhover:


young lady,im not sure i mentioned anything abt religion oo...submission cant b flexible..its either yu give it or you are being given,its not like loyalty which is a 2 way street according to harvey spector ,respect,love, can go both ways..its just like telling buhari to b submisive to osibanjo..he wud respect his ideas and contribution,but d submission has to go to 1 person

So Osinbajo can't take some decisions? Buhari doesn't consult Osibanjo before taking decisions?

Is Buhari not the president for a reason?

teambuck2u:


You would be my lady, which kain queen be dat And I will only do what you want when I don't want to see you cry, which might be once in seven years.

Don't be so sure. I can be addictive.

Sorry, you are not the man for me.

freecocoa:
So Osinbajo can't take some decisions? Buhari doesn't consult Osibanjo before taking decisions?

Is Buhari not the president for a reason?

yes it cud happen..buhari can consult osibanjo,then its now left for buhari to decide whether he wud heed d advise given or do otherwise..but its buhari"s decision..it happens in all walks of life..like in a board meeting pipo wud bring up dier diff ideas,den d head wud finally decide,based on whats has been tabled..someone has to have a final say na..there needs to b a sort of hierachy,cos without rank nd hierachy,there wud b chaos

freecocoa:
Sorry, you are not the man for me.

I've heard that more times than I care to remember. You people always capitulate eventually.

I don't want him more exposed and the rest you put on the list, I want him to be as exposed, you are there talking one thing one thing.

I don't care how much he has, he just should have enough, if he has more than me fine, if have more than him okay.

If I am attracted to a man, it is because he meets my criteria, not because of how much he has.

I can't ask him for what I can't get myself.

teambuck2u:


I've heard that more times than I care to remember. You people always capitulate eventually.

You haven't heard it from me.

freecocoa:
And I am telling you that, wome should marry a man who sees her as someone he can talk about it with, before reaching a conclusion, he should listen to her reasons, analyse and if he's deemed fit, by all means, let the decision be his, he just should be able to do same for you.

men do this all the time.
i can bet most men put every matter in the open for debate.......but in most cases, the women would find it hard to present a superior argument. they just tell you their intuition tells them so so decision is right or wrong.

intuition? so you expect men who are naturally logical to go with an opinion that you can only back up with intuition? why should we take road B? wife would answer - "my mind tells me road A would have armed robbers & kidnappers."

abeg, that's not good enough!

Two intelligent people can find themselves, it's also okay if the woman is more intelligent in any way, it doesn't make you less a man, she knows this, any intelligent woman does.

if the woman is more intelligent, how would she submit to her man? he's not intelligent - he will most likely make wrong choices so why do you think a woman would trust a man that makes wrong choices to lead her?

there's no mickey-mouse in this.
the day a woman decides to marry a dullard is the day she accepts all kinda abuses & rubbish women go through in their marriage.....and she would have deserved it.

this is why people say women should marry up. don't marry your age mate.....he should be older, more mature & more intelligent. that's the only way the balance can be preserved.

It is when couples give each other respect. Doesn't have to be dongo turenchi fa.

coogar:


men do this all the time.
i can bet most men put every matter in the open for debate.......but in most cases, the women would find it hard to present a superior argument. they just tell you their intuition tells them so so decision is right or wrong.

intuition? so you expect men who are naturally logical to go with an opinion that you can only back up with intuition? why should we take road B? wife would answer - "my mind tells me road A would have armed robbers & kidnappers."

abeg, that's not good enough!



if the woman is more intelligent, how would she submit to her man? he's not intelligent - he will most likely make wrong choices so why do you think a woman would trust a man that makes wrong choices to lead her?

there's no mickey-mouse in this.
the day a woman decides to marry a dullard is the day she accepts all kinda abuses & rubbish women go through in their marriage.....and she would have deserved it.

this is why people say women should marry up. don't marry your age mate.....he should be older, more mature & more intelligent. that's the only way the balance can be preserved.

You are just going round ni.

Well, I don't know the kinds of women that you have met, who tell you "it's based on only intuition"

You should change your type of women.

freecocoa:
You haven't heard it from me.

Hear one, heard 'em all. Been hearing that thing since Primary 3. Do you really think I don't know what's up by now?

freecocoa:
You are just going round ni.

Well, I don't know the kinds of women that you have met, who tell you "it's based on only intuition"

You should change your type of women.

when women can't match your argument - they hide under the mask of intuition. if a woman presents a logical argument, the hubby wouldn't even disagree one bit with her. you have to understand hubby cannot be perfect or know everything.....in such cases, the woman should naturally take the decision.

no man would object to this. how many times have you seen hubbies arguing when salt or pepper should be added to a pot of stew? we know that's your area of expertise and you would not use intuition to back your decision up when cooking, you would have facts & logic.

teambuck2u:


Hear one, heard 'em all. Been hearing that thing since Primary 3. Do you really think I don't know what's up by now?

I see.

If you really believe this, then why am I arguing with you? You believing it doesn't make it true, why should I care?.

Intelligence has nothing to do with whom you submit to...I think it'd be a dumb assertion to surmise that intelligence is the determinant factor in deciding submission.

What would happen to people like us who are only attracted to intelligent women huh ?

Usually I tell people I don't argue with people who don't believe in God hence the religious standpoint of things aren't their perspective.

But let's say we don't wanna argue from a religious aspect now, we all know no two different things are entirely equal (religion and even science proves this),but a balance is assured still. Yes, even in equality,one party has a slight edge over the other which draws the conclusion of the hierarchical order of the presiding party asserting authority over the other.

freecocoa:
I see.

If you really believe this, then why am I arguing with you? You believing it doesn't make it true, why should I care?.

You not believing it doesn't make it untrue, does it?

coogar:


when women can't match your argument - they hide under the mask of intuition. if a woman presents a logical argument, the hubby wouldn't even disagree one bit with her. you have to understand hubby cannot be perfect or know everything.....in such cases, the woman should naturally take the decision.

no man would object to this. how many times have you seen hubbies arguing when salt or pepper should be added to a pot of stew? we know that's your area of expertise and you would not use intuition to back your decision up when cooking, you would have facts & logic.

What more can I say? It's obvious, what you put it down to, in the end, it ends in the kitchen.

Welldone, you na African man indeed.

This thread of submission na nairaland talk.

Nobody in real life will say she submits totally to her husband.
Story.

It's unreal

Why? Because even your own kids don't submit all the time. They may grudgingly do as you command but they show their own free will as little as they are.

Even loving couples fight and make up. If all it takes is submission to make the marriage work, why were they even fighting to start with? The lady should have been willing from the beginning to do anything the man says without question because that's the true way of defining total submission.

Me I refuse the ones I don't agree with (sometimes). We will always reach a compromise that we are both happy with. That's for sure.

I'd imagine that's how most people are too.
Even the nairaland guys are submissive. Don't mind them

babygirlfl:
submission here is the dictionary meaning.

Submission

I don't think its a bad thing when its done by the two parties involved and done sometimes when required. For marriage to work, we have to submit to each other sometimes.

What I don't agree with is absolute submission which is done every time by one spouse. That is slavery. Most people will deny this but most women who believe in submission are not absolutely submissive and that is because it's almost impossible.

PreciousBro:

Intelligence has nothing to do with whom you submit to...I think it'd be a dumb assertion to surmise that intelligence is the determinant factor in deciding submission.

What would happen to people like us who are only attracted to intelligent women huh ?
Usually I tell people I don't argue with people who don't believe in God hence the religious standpoint of things aren't their perspective.

But let's say we don't wanna argue from a religious aspect now, we all know no two different things are entirely equal (religion and even science proves this),but a balance is assured still. Yes, even in equality,one party has a slight edge over the other which draws the conclusion of the hierarchical order of the presiding party asserting authority over the other.

so what's the determinant factor? dullness?
submission certainly centres on making key decisions. why would you submit to a partner that is clueless about certain situations?

if intelligence isn't linked to submission then i dunno what is....

freecocoa:
What more can I say? It's obvious, what you put it down to, in the end, it ends in the kitchen.
Welldone, you na African man indeed.

no vex!
i can rephrase.....

no hubby would argue with you which foundation works with which lip gloss. that's your expertise.......we know f@ck all about such topics so your opinion definitely matters.

happy now?

teambuck2u:


You not believing it doesn't make it untrue, does it?

The fact still remains, you haven't met all women, and the fact that women around here are still bound by culture/tradition, doesn't make your argument right, you just have to keep your superiority complex aside to see that.