Only God knows why they have to wait till they're 50 before getting married

coogar:


what if i stay there?
would it not be logical for me to be fearful about marriage especially when i tend to lose almost half of my assets should divorce ensue?

Lmfao! I was right after all. Fear is the factor. I'm happy to be African then.

TheFLIRT:

Lmfao! I was right after all. Fear is the factor. I'm happy to be African then.

and there's no divorce in africa?

africa is actually worse. majority of the people still pretending that they are in a marriage are not happy. they are just scared of the stigma the society would attach to them if they walk out of the marriage.

TheFLIRT:

Lmfao! I was right after all. Fear is the factor. I'm happy to be African then.

the divorce in Lagos and the north alone is greater than that in U.S. And UK out together

coogar:


the means isn't even enough.
he has to be mentally ready for it. marriage isn't child's play. a lot of stuff are involved...he has to consult his other half in every decision he's about to make.

Where i half come from,men marry as young as 25,26.It is a culture,it has been like that for ages....

They grow together and most of all,parents are always present to guide them until they are capable of handling family matters on their own.

coogar:


and there's no divorce in africa?

africa is actually worse. majority of the people still pretending that they are in a marriage are not happy. they are just scared of the stigma the society would attach to them if they walk out of the marriage.

U just hit the right nail on the head! And the main cause of this are the gossips. If a lady who can't endure a bad marriage walks away they label her 'a prostitute' and our myopic men would consider her a 'tokunbo', and discourage any attempt to marry her. Worse still, the pastor would quote the bible verse of 'for better or worse'. So for this reason, the African wife would have to remain a slave in her own home

How late is late?

edwife:


Where i half come from,men marry as young as 25,26.It is a culture,it has been like that for ages....

They grow together and most of all,parents are always present to guide them until they are capable of handling family matters on their own.

the generation before us married even earlier than 25/26. most of them had built their own houses at this age with dependent relatives to cater for.

these days......just forget it.
most nigerians are just about completing their degree at 25/26, staying under their parent's roof. everything down to salon visits or sanitary pads, the parents provide.

na these kind ones go marry?

Joromi1:

U just hit the right nail on the head! And the main cause of this are the gossips. If a lady who can't endure a bad marriage walks away they label her 'a prostitute' and our myopic men would consider her a 'tokunbo', and discourage any attempt to marry her. Worse still, the pastor would quote the bible verse of 'for better or worse'. So for this reason, the African wife would have to remain a slave in her own home

so do you still think the "fear" isn't justified?

coogar:


what if i stay there?
would it not be logical for me to be fearful about marriage especially when i tend to lose almost half of my assets should divorce ensue?

this is the UK divorce stats, by the way.....
it's 42%.

Is 27-28 late? For male.....
Is 26-27 late for a female?


Candid advice, a beg.

coogar:


so do you still think the "fear" isn't justified?

Lol! Sure it is

tempem:


Is 27-28 late? For male.....
Is 26-27 late for a female?


Candid advice, a beg.

to each his own.
no age is late for male/female. the crux is getting it right. what's the essence of marrying early & getting kicked out of the marriage?

if a man waits till age 40 to get the right partner, he's better than the guy that married at 25 who is facing divorce or domestic abuse. it's not about how long, it's about how well!

kelvyn7:
Yes ooo. the earlier the beta. U will watch ur children get married and have children sef, and their children have children too right before ur eyes.

but if u wait too much, hmmmm. U will be like some men I know, 62yrs and their first child is in primary sch

I know someone who got married at the age of 18. She didn't live long to see her first child get married or see her first grand child. Life is not a competition. It's filled with uncertainties that one cannot foresee.

coogar:


to each his own.
no age is late for male/female. the crux is getting it right. what's the essence of marrying early & getting kicked out of the marriage?

if a man waits till age 40 to get the right partner, he's better than the guy that married at 25 who is facing divorce or domestic abuse. it's not about how long, it's about how well!

YES SIR

koyyes:

I know someone who got married at the age of 18. She didn't live long to see her first child get married or see her first grand child. Life is not a competition. It's filled with uncertainties that one cannot foresee.

and we have aged parents in Nursing homes without a single visit from their numerous children they had @15 in years.

Children are blessings and should be seen as one .... Not a cogent determinant factor of 'Early Marriage'.

cococandy:
the divorce in Lagos and the north alone is greater than that in U.S. And UK out together

How did you arrive at this?

coogar:


and there's no divorce in africa?

africa is actually worse. majority of the people still pretending that they are in a marriage are not happy. they are just scared of the stigma the society would attach to them if they walk out of the marriage.

Don't make it sound like African women in marriage are in living bondage. There's no law restricting women from filing for divorce if the marriage is unfavourable to them. And why would the society stigmatise a divorcee when her reason for leaving is clear? Do you think we're still in the 1800's? We've outgrown that age a long time ago

TheFLIRT:

How did you arrive at this?

I don't know

Aren't we allowed to make up data?

Ok seriously do some research.

TheFLIRT:

Don't make it sound like African women in marriage are in living bondage. There's no law restricting women from filing for divorce if the marriage is unfavourable to them. And why would the society stigmatise a divorcee when her reason for leaving is clear? Do you think we're still in the 1800's? We've outgrown that age a long time ago

You wish.

coogar:


divorce rate currently stands at 50%
if that does not cause you to fear, nothing else would. that's like tossing a coin. would you board a plane that has 50% probability of crashing?

hahhhaahhhaaaa, na wa 4 u, ur illustrations are so funny

All things being equal, I would say it is. No gainsaying. It gives you that much more time and leeway to do pretty much everything.


TV

TheFLIRT:

Don't make it sound like African women in marriage are in living bondage. There's no law restricting women from filing for divorce if the marriage is unfavourable to them. And why would the society stigmatise a divorcee when her reason for leaving is clear? Do you think we're still in the 1800's? We've outgrown that age a long time ago

be deceiving yourself.....
african women live & die for marriage. it's the single-most important achievement in their lives & it cuts across. getting married is almost seen as more important than bagging a doctorate degree.

the women are coached/trained by parents & pastors to stay in the marriage. they are told to persevere & not worry so much about whatever the hubby is doing. there's always a worse example to bring up whenever a woman complains of the abuse she's suffering in her matrimony.

the solution is fast & pray.....

Joromi1:
It's a Nigerian phenomenon that when u marry at a very young age, u'll avoid the stress and pain of raising ur kids at old age. If that is only reason then the idea is useless because one needs to be mature and financially strong enough before taking decisions towards that

that tells u how God is superior 2 man,our parent can't knw how d future..they're jst speaking out of dia humanly xperience

coogar:


be deceiving yourself.....
african women live & die for marriage. it's the single-most important achievement in their lives & it cuts across. getting married is almost seen as more important than bagging a doctorate degree.

the women are coached/trained by parents & pastors to stay in the marriage. they are told to persevere & not worry so much about whatever the hubby is doing. there's always a worse example to bring up whenever a woman complains of the abuse she's suffering in her matrimony.

the solution is fast & pray.....

Hahaha! What is this guy saying? Do u think it's like one of those Nollywood movies where an igwe or oba controls the affairs of his subjects? Na wa o! After all the education and civilisation. Sorry, bro, it doesn't happen that way anymore

coogar:


be deceiving yourself.....
african women live & die for marriage. it's the single-most important achievement in their lives & it cuts across. getting married is almost seen as more important than bagging a doctorate degree.

the women are coached/trained by parents & pastors to stay in the marriage. they are told to persevere & not worry so much about whatever the hubby is doing. there's always a worse example to bring up whenever a woman complains of the abuse she's suffering in her matrimony.

the solution is fast & pray.....

GOD bless you for your comment

kelvyn7:
Yes ooo. the earlier the beta. U will watch ur children get married and have children sef, and their children have children too right before ur eyes.

but if u wait too much, hmmmm. U will be like some men I know, 62yrs and their first child is in primary sch

Jeez, na curse

Early marriages I think mainly favours the woman and probably because women age faster than men, it's better to marry someone who is at least 10 years older than you.

TV01:
All things being equal, I would say it is. No gainsaying. It gives you that much more time and leeway to do pretty much everything


TV

Hi TV long time, how's family and work?

@bold , Care to develop that into examples (in simple terms too, I'm working so can't really browse synonyms )

whatever has an advantage, also has a disadvantage.....so take your teeth count your tongue.

YES

my mom is a great grandmother at the age of 59 because she married early at the age of 15.....yea early marriage has it advantages.

yes www.tonyhawttalk..com says: 1. You have time to DISCOVER yourself. The emphasis is on "discovery" because a lot of people go through life not knowing who they really are, the more you wait before getting married the more you're likely to discover yourself, your ideal career and generally the type of life you want. 2. Perspectives change as we get older. What I liked and wanted when I was 19 totally changed when I was in my mid twenties-even though I could swear say na like this I like my own thing at 25, I ended up not liking at 27. People change, give yourself allowance to grow and change. 3. You have time to be "free". Make decisions without real consequences. Travel. You can even afford to live from alert to alert without any sense of responsibility. Why do you think there's the term "responsible married man/woman" ? You can buy anything with your last dime. Sleep over at your friends house 3 times a week...you no send anybody. Go on soun, explore! 4. You grow up. Maturity for some people is not about age, but with age comes experience and experience teaches you how to handle life. Your expectations are more realistic-you don't believe marriage is about taking selfies, seksing and living happily ever after. Marriage is not for children. 5. Build your future. If you're smart, the time before you get married is time you can use to focus on your career, start a business, even it it fails, you start again all because of point 3. Invest your self in building and saving for your future because marriage may "slow you down" career wise if you're a woman. 6. You know what you want. Not because you know it all but because you've had time to discover yourself, what you like and what you refuse to deal with (I use the term "refuse" because it's a choice you're making to deal with something or not). You basically know yourself and now you know yourself you know what you who and what you want in a relationship and marriage. 7. You are grateful. When you eventually get married you appreciate it more because you remember all the times you spent catching bouquets at all your friends weddings (not that it's a terrible thing). Single? You've been there, done that and you are 100% in this phase of life you're in now. You do not feel like you missed out on anything. These are some of the many advantages of getting married later so if you're still single...enjoy it while it lasts and appreciate every season of your life. Let me know if you got married later and the advantages and disadvantages you faced in the comments section.

TheFLIRT:

Like the one you mentioned: raising kids in time to avoid old age stress. I know early marriage doesn't guarantee giving birth to kids in time but late marriage too doesn't! It's all about being mature at heart. Do you know some people marry late because they can't tolerate their partners? Guy, I can advise any man to get married even before 25

finaly sumone dat thinks like me

I'm just 24 and I have a well paying job, currently on my MSc. So if I decide to marry next year na crime? Don't talk maturity because age doesn't guarantee that you're mature. Different things can provide various kinds of reactions in different people, depending on so many factors. I feel that the success of any marriage lies in the decision of the parties involved to make it work. Many guys are just afraid of responsibility. Anyone that works for your kind of person, go for it. For me, I have big plans and marrying early is one of them. You're all invited