We were on a vehicle, conveying us all to an event, a TM to be precise. Since we didn't know the route and direction, the amiable groom arranged us a vehicle to convey us there.

All that was in my thoughts was how to control the hottest girl in our neighbourhood when i was i jolted out of synch as i crashed into the backrest of the seat fixed in my front. The vehicle swerving left, then later regaining it lost balance as it went the middle tarred road again.

The outrage that accompanied this dangerous episode intimidated the "blood of Jesus" sponsored by the lips of the passengers in the bus.

Some passengers belaboured our driver for over speeding, others defended and threw him glory for an excellent show of professionalism, for if he didn't control the vehicle the way he did, we would have been plunging deep into the chasm of hell, and some righteous ones began rendering prayers.

I wanted to give my comment too but the girl by my side was muttering ungodly curses and i was forced to give a listening ear.

" thunder fire you for dey, if na devil send you tell am say e never see me, e no go happen for dis bus, na you and your generation go die"

what an outburst, i concluded. And who were those curses directed to? I was about making my enquiry when her next batch of tirade came, she was totally berserk.

" na people you dey carry no be animal, you should know how to drive before entering that place. I no blame you na ikpo and ufofop cause your madness" she concluded with no signs of remorse for such words.

She was too vocal to be a lady, i concluded as i turned to give her a thorough assessment. My brothers the girl fine no be small. Her fresh laps in view as her shorts skirt revealed them the way it could. I was snapped out of my reverie when another words leathered with missiles exploded.

"madman, your type dey yaba and you dey here the drive. I no know who entrust people life into your hands. Na you go die no be me"

The driver was too far to hear her, and i nearest to her became her victim. She turned to me and shook my shoulders.

"brother you see as this madman nearly destroy us? "
My attempt to pacify her, that God is in control proved abortive, after much persuasion, she obliged.

And so the journey went on. We crossed a bridge when a good samaritan driver alerted us that smokes were finding it way out of the cars bonnet, only meaning that the bus was on fire.

On this latest information, and the sight of smoke oozing from the car, the driver eased the car to a halt as shout of " fire o " rented the calm atmosphere in the bus and replaced it with a rowdy one.

In a frenzy move, the girl by by my side pushed me, frantically searching for the door as she belaboured the driver again. Seconds later, all the women at the backseat jumped over to ours, pushing and stepping on others.

Unfortunately for me, i sat close to the door. I was matched upon, the men and women all wanting to be the first to escape the snares of death.

We were all stucked in the bus, struggling, screaming and shouting as the smokes evoluted into fire.

Not until the driver came to our rescue when he opened the door from outside. Chai! Come see rushing. Every one scampered out, in the process, many tripped and sprawled on the ground and efforts of extinguishing the fire were made.

The lady as i came to know as Linda began her curses, only this time to the very hearing of the driver who only awarded her with a quizzicall demeanour.

" i swear you no go kill me, na you go die first, you wan set me on fire? Na ur papa go first burn" ranted she.

My clothes were rumpled and my new wrist watch got broken. It wasn't only i that suffered such fate. Infact a guys IPad was stepped on and other suffered from minor bruises due to the struggle that ensued when everyone wanted to get to safety first.

No one agreed to enter the bus when the fire was extinguished and the problem conquered as the fear of the just passed scene was still fresh in our memories .

Two guys went in and i joined no be me go be first na . Soon all the males were in but the females refused coming along with the hunch that the event might repeat itself. Not until the driver threatened to leave them behind before they conceded to the adjure.

Once inside, Linda made me a victim again.

" brother you see what i told you"

" sister the lord is in control " i reiterated.

" i know, but why always me? "

" it happened to you before ? "she conceded and went ahead to give her story.
Soon, We reached the event ground and the women rushed out. Typical of them.

I on my part vowed never to go to marriages i dont know the directions and routes so as not to encounter such situation again I don't know how to keep these promises, i might renege them, because Paul my cousin is having his TM in few months and i know nothing about the routes. I just pray i should have the courage to tell him i won't be an attendant.

XavierBlue

Share your funny experiences too.


XavierBlue

dharay88:

all i need is a summary,
& I'll read.

my brother, i understand...


XavierBlue

XavierBlue:
my brother, i understand...


XavierBlue

☺

dharay88:

☺

:-)


XavierBlue

Lwkm!! Op so You sabi Write Stories like this

Slimzjoe:
Lwkm!! Op so You sabi Write Stories like this

i try ba?


XavierBlue

XavierBlue:
i try ba?


XavierBlue

I swear! Your narration Skills are Tight

Slimzjoe:

I swear! Your narration Skills are Tight

thanks. Am elated.


XavierBlue

[/center][center]finaly i got to the bottom*yawning*[/center][center]

Andrew114:
[/center][center]finaly i got to the bottom*yawning*[/center][center]

were you forced?


XavierBlue

XavierBlue:
were you forced?

XavierBlue

no not really

Funny post though. But i think this should be in the literature or jokes section. Ishilove or farano pls do the needful. Move the thread.