If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us - Education - Nairaland
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| If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(m): 10:12pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
The poem below is a condensed version of 'The Chaos' by Gerard Nolst Trenité , written in 1922. It features a ridiculous number of words that are difficult to pronounce, so don't feel bad if you have to refer to a dictionary. I certainly did! If you fancy yourself something of a professional linguist, then this challenge is for you. English is notoriously difficult to learn, as the language has so many exceptions to the rules. Even for a native English speaker, this poem presents quite a few challenges! Check it out and see how you fare. If you can pronounce all of the words, you speak English better than 90% of the population. Here we go! Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation -- think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough -- Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! 323 Likes 91 Shares |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by April07: 10:18pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
Wow! This is a really beautiful piece!  And... I read the whole poem without pausing.. yup! I didn't mix up any word  Bad asss  64 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 11:13pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
Beautiful. 1 Like |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by AfricanApple(f): 11:22pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
What's difficult there  26 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(m): 11:59pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
AfricanApple: There is this word I was sure I couldn't pronounce correctly when I read the poem. It is "victual" transcribed as \ˈvi-təl\. It is sounds more like "vital" and that got me scratching my head. Anyone can read but not everyone can pronunce words correctly. 138 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Oahray: 12:48am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Hehehehe... Not a word did I miss. My prize, whatever rhymes with this. Wait jor, not a kiss... *hiss* but solitary bliss. That's right, leave me in peace! 57 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by registration(m): 1:58am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Ok |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by April07: 5:00am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Oahray: Show off!! Solitary bliss? Oh please. In peace ke. What happens to our ticket? See how that rhymes not with wicked but cricket. Msttcheew I'll just go play golf and drink Smirnoff 56 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by zoonermm: 5:27am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Nice piece of work. No man can pronounce them all correctly, i should think we still have words nd pronounciation in our schools. Please dont decieve urself u got it right just becos u read it. 15 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by modskiller(m): 5:54am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Piece of cake. I even did it with my mouth closed  7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 7:03am On Jul 05, 2015 |
I read it with ease...oya front page Lalasticlala |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by AbuMikey(m): 7:18am On Jul 05, 2015 |
With Ease |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 7:29am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Make all of una up there dey lie to una selves. Including those that cannot make a complete statement without a single gbagaun. All liars? ..... ......Fill in the blanks. Story. 12 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Dubby6(m): 8:21am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Mtcheew e no hard self.... |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by pomporiking: 8:36am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Anyone who claims to have pronounced the words correctly is a liar 18 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by playboy99(m): 8:42am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Nice 90percent #ACE |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 8:55am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Nobody even the english can pronounce all the words correctly 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(m): 9:32am On Jul 05, 2015 |
modskiller: There is always someone who didn't pay attention to the post tittle. 9 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by orogodoganyin(m): 9:43am On Jul 05, 2015 |
not sure i found mch out of the ordinary. the fing wt english is mobility. the more u move around, the more ppl u cum across, the better ur pronunciation. this is 'cos different ppl 4rm different communities use different words 4 d same thing nd they're all correct 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by peezu(m): 9:46am On Jul 05, 2015 |
God bless whoever compose these,got my dictionary in other to pronounce some correctly. 5 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by datmix(m): 9:47am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Word play... Whoever composed this is a rapper 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 10:09am On Jul 05, 2015 |
April07: You wouldn't know until someone listens and points out your mistakes... 11 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by hapheeyxz: 10:26am On Jul 05, 2015 |
ogidiganooo, i pronounced everyting bt i couldnt finish d poem tho |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by idris4r83(m): 10:29am On Jul 05, 2015 |
I love poems, its an imaginative work of art. 2 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by freedom96: 10:40am On Jul 05, 2015 |
The poem wey we do for nursery school 1 Like |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by April07: 10:43am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Imanuelle: I'm tellsing you oo. Infact let's make voice notes  2 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by constance500: 10:48am On Jul 05, 2015 |
i just did |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 10:54am On Jul 05, 2015 |
So easy. Nice piece tho |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Doughyeenbae(f): 10:56am On Jul 05, 2015 |
Wow...some words I couldn't pronounce... I rate myself 68%  2 Likes |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by adegwurulez(m): 11:36am On Jul 05, 2015 |
I'm going to save this poem for further dissection. |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 12:05pm On Jul 05, 2015 |
April07: O.Y.O. |
| Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by agabaI23(m): 12:39pm On Jul 05, 2015 |
AfricanApple:Until I hear you say them. I will spare you if you are a brit  Beautiful poem 1 Like |
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