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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby (17334 Views)
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Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 4:20pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Quit being dramatic JJYOU. What does "hatred" have to do with anything? ![]() JJYOU: Then why is he against her getting a job or what else do you do when you get a degree? You skipped my comment on purpose. If the OP were female, your answer would be completely different,. Admit it. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by ijleke(f): 4:22pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
its a pity you are passing thru all these, well i guess she's made up her mind. I wish there is a way one can help you but we all online givin a helpin hand my dear think of your kid, he/she needs you, DRINKING wouldn't help you at this moment.(lomenihu@comium.gm), and please stop calling her, |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by damola1: 4:36pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
I am very sorry bro, take it easy, I can see you still love her, try to do the same thing she's doing, if you can, hang out and get some space, |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 4:36pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
goin_crazy: How long did you date? In what circumstances did you meet? Did you take up her financial needs? |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 4:36pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
goin_crazy: A person can be a responsible husband and still be fun but that's beside the point Stop thinking money can buy happiness, that's why you're not happy right now. Buying affection doesnt work. Next time marry an ugly girl ![]() Seriously give her space and stop the pleading. Eventually when you stop hounding her, she'll come around. If not, take it as a lesson learned. Money isnt everything 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Moyola(f): 4:37pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Eyah! ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JJYOU: 4:39pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
DeReloaded:our minds are our personal properties. we are allowed to think whatever we like however you know me too well to believe my answer would have been different if she was male. have a good day goin_crazy:all becos a woman no like you? oga i beg relax it aint the end of the world. i have travelled this road and worn this T shirt twice so i know it can be quite painfull but you do get over it by Gods grace. it is not worth travelling the journey of life with an unwilling partner you will never get to your destination. i beg your family and your daughter needs you. stop wasting time go talk to your lawyer too before they deal with you. wish you luck 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by damola1: 4:48pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
person can be a responsible husband and still be fun but that's beside the point Stop being insensitive, This is my advise: A. Take time out to do what you like doing, anything., short time, maybe 1-2 days B. GO prepare yourself not to give her anything, try to get a good lawyer that knows this terrain very well, cos, she might actually be committing fraud. But if na me sha, I go just go carry my pickin, chikena, change my phone, |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 4:56pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
goin_crazy: @ op sorry seems shes an immature woman who you had no business marrying, as she is unwilling to grow up and is looking for a boyfriend, rather than a husband. her beauty is only skin deep. GO AND GET THE DNA TEST DONE. TOH imho, the highlighted explains everything. @OP, pull yourself together and prepare for war. otherwise she will continu to fu-ck you over. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by osisi2(f): 6:04pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Oyb you're so spot on. @ the poster that woman doesn't love you and she said it clearly by her action and fianally put it in words. There's no woman anywhere on God's earth that'll abandon a spouse she loves because she doesn't want to have another baby. That was just a cop out. d mum obviously supports her action as she has refused to respond to invitations frm my family for a discussion. we are actually not in good terms due to an earlier incident (she was askin for too much stuff and i decided to ignore her). she insists i come and apologize to her first b4 she intervenes. btw she's a divorcee who raised her kids mostly alone Not to dog on single mom's but offsprings of single mothers see nothing in seperating from spouses even for the flimsiest reasons. Your mother in law is not a good person. If my daughter moved out of her matrimonial home and told me the reason she came was because she didn't want to be impregnated by her husband,I'll take her to an obgyn to insert an IUD device and buy her 12 cartons of condoms and send her back to her husband. You need to move on and if you're a Christian ,you can freely marry another woman because the Bible says that if the unbelieving wife leaves,you are free to re-marry. Don't waste your youth chasing shadows |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by ayobase(m): 6:10pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
I can see all what I have observed about you towards her is BAEUTY! |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by osisi2(f): 6:20pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
I am married to a pretty and vain wife and we have a 3yr old daughter At what point did you know she was vain? I'm sure you saw this coming at some point but her beauty blinded you. You'll pick more carefully next time. . I want us to try for another baby but she has bluntly refused. Reason - she wants to keep her figure and focus on her career for at least 6 yrs! who says you can't bear children and have a career? I'm a good example of such. she's found another man simple! ! I suspect she is not interested in any more kids. I am in my early 30s and had hoped to have three kids by 35yrs. At this rate i will be 50yrs b4 she agrees for another child she is sick of the marriage and doesn't want to be tied down with 2 kids from your loins. The marriage is over you need to accept this reality . ha this is d problem wit marrying a fine babe No It's the problem with marrying a shallow airhead brought up by a divorced man-eating mother. I'm sure you saw the warnings and ignored them . She has moved out becos of the pressure and d marriage is about to hit d rocks. NL members how do we resolve this? Egba mi o!! You'll be a fool to beg her to return She's too immature for marriage and will make your life a living hell because she'll move out whenever she doesn't get her way. she wants to be free because she's unable to handle the sacrifices, compromises and selflessness that comes with marriage and raising a family. remember she was raised in a household without a man (as you said later) where her mother's words were law. She sees you as useless afterall her mother raised her without a husband. And she's treated you as a nobody in her affairs and that of "her" child. My brother let her be,before you die young |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by ilaugh1: 6:22pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
get a new wife. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 6:25pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Dude, it seems you "love" this woman because she is "so fine". You think being "fine" is all there is to a woman? sometimes you have to marry "sensible" rather than "fine". |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JJYOU: 6:34pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
**osisi: you are always a breath of fresh air. a living example of a good wife is from the Lord. i dont know why things like this has to be men vs women issue. i nearly ordered one years ago. thank God for a praying mother. oyb:thank you for this. there is more to being a woman than having a pair of child bearing ribs. davidylan:combination of sensible plus fine my brother. God forbid you begin dey produce another set of OBJ and his kind for us. you have to improve on the next generation. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 6:57pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Not to dog on single mom's but offsprings of single mothers see nothing in seperating from spouses even for the flimsiest reasons. I dont agree. Many of them dont wanna go thru what their mother or father went gone thru and put effort in it for most part. Some to the point of staying in very unfavorable conditions. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by DeReloaded: 6:58pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Must people always use gigantic font like everyone else is blind? ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by realcele: 8:26pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
Are you sure you did not drive her nut first. Pernsonally i think there is more to this story that what she told you or what you are seeking advice from. A woman will loose her figure with one child as well as 10 children (even old age and stress) so this is not really the main issue why she left or does not want more kids. These are my thought 1. Medically: may be she went through some trauma while pregnant or even bringing up a child. You will need to discuss this with her in a more matured way than nagging over issues of kids. Raising up kids is draining( emotioanally, physically, financially etc) and i bless those with more than two kids. 2. I can't explain why she packed to her mum's place but does not sound through that she packed out over more baby issue. 3. She might suddenly discovered that this is not the sought of father she wants for her kids therefore one mistake is enough one. 4. Maybe she can only afford one chid (so to speak) as men of these days are always on the loose and she is more prudent. 5. Since you live in Nigeria i assume you will have some poygamy blood now, find yourself a babe that is ready to start a family and off you go with many kids. ![]() Good luck |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 8:28pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
JJYOU: bro, my definition of sensible also includes fine. ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 9:13pm On Mar 05, 2009 |
@poster, your story makes less and less sense. so you said" she finally confessed she stopped lovin me 2months into d marriage and wuld've left but for preg and school. she said i was too serious minded. she had felt choked for the last 2yrs & 10months and really needed some space" 1*you said you came back from abroad 3yrs ago, you were also married for 3 yrs , yet you have a 3yr old kids/your wife was turned off by you only 2 months into the marriage. here is my question: either you met your wife abroad during your 9yrs there, she fell pregnant and you decided to come back to 9ja and have the kid or either you came back to 9ja just to marry her but then the numbers don't match. my point is that IF you had met your wife abroad, i would believe that she would get her degrees THERE rather than after being pregnant IN NIGERIA!!!!! i suspect you got your family to find a FINE bride and since you didn't really know her, it came back and bit you on the bottom (even that theory doesn't match). Then you write: not been to work today and already downed a bottle of wine. i really love her still and wuld give anythin to have her back (she's so fine). is that how you deal with your problems?! by downing wine, i guess you were looking for a "fine" babe and got what you deserved. i don't think you love that woman as this is the FIRST time you talk about having feelings for her. 2 pages ago you only wanted your KID back and was ready to file for abandonment , now suddenly you are in love with her and want her back?! you are making NO SENSE. NOW you are willing to do ANYTHING, then why don't you first go and apologize to her mother and try to work something out with her. believe me, being against her mother (insulting her the way you do) is not in your favor and rather childish. then you finally write: maybe i shuld have given her momsy and siblings more money maybe i shld have spent more time wit her instead of chasin money maybe i shuld have been more sensitive (whtever dat means) i guess i was tryin to be a straight and responsible naija husband instead of givin her enuf fun. that was the funniest part of all, what do you mean by "giving her enuf fun"?! obviously you really want NLers to be against this person and on your side, might work for some but definitely not with me, you seems to come up with stories along the way. ANYWAY she said she doesn't love you so MOVE ON. your story as TOO MANY HOLES!!!!! @FBS we are all assuming in this story UNTIL WE HEAR THE WIFE'S STORY. i will never take one side of the story to be the truth so we can only speculate about what COULD be the reason for someone to do such thing.poster is only making himself look like an angel. try to be realistic, suddenly now he starts drinking? ahahah yeah right. he probably started drinking WAY before and we all know what drunks are able to do, the poster story makes no sense and by what i previously wrote you can be the judge of that. you keep talking about the woman wanting to keep her figure, it's not about FIGURE but about CHOICE. the right to choose what SHE wants for her life. which was 6 more yrs of school. you asked "how can a woman keep her man in check if she isn't living home"?! well the poster should have thought about that before trying to force the woman for more babies. she got enough and left. in his words,it's all about him. his job, what he wants and his money. marriage is about 2peeps, not one. by saying that the primary role of a woman is to have children, it shows me your level of prehistoric ignorance and should join the other two who were ready for the drive-by beating and snatching, are you telling me that every women should bare children that they LIKE IT OR NOT?! she already did her fair share. stop reading that bible and believe that what happened in biblical time should be done today because then i would be able to marry 100wives and have hundreds of concubines/slaves and any woman would have absolutely NO RIGHT, and sinner would be stoned to death, like in biblical times. wake up! |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by FBS: 8:22am On Mar 06, 2009 |
MRbrownJAY:@MRbrownJAY Yes you are one sided. Till now, we have not heard from the other party. You obviously missed my point. I said, subject to if he has said the whole truth. Read well please. For reasons known to you, you have categorically stated that he is forcing her. No he isn't. Wanting to have another baby with your wife is by no means using FORCE. On the contrary, she is the one forcing him to do want she wants by leaving the house. MRbrownJAY:Again, that is your assumption and again taking sides. You are not being realistic by not recognising the fact that, they are married. She gave a pledge. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. Have you any idea what that means? I guess not. MRbrownJAY: One can only wonder why there are many brokens homes. Because something is not going right in your home, the next thing is to leave? Can you actually read what you are writing? THEY ARE MARRIED and he is not in any way molesting her. This is not about choice, if it was, she should have envisaged the fact that (and she did agree with her husband-at least according to him to have one than one child) her choice was made earlier while she was going into the marriage. You are yet to prove to me the sudden change of mind. That maybe she had complications on her first delivery is only your assumption. Yes or No? MRbrownJAY:Its either you are naive or just pretending to be? Tell me please, what is the primary role of a woman? How can you tell me to stop reading the bible? Or don't you know that is the foundation of this world? Bearing of children is a right/privilegde accorded ONLY to women and must be proud of that. What you are saying boy, is arrant nonsense. You obviously dont know what the bible says. I never said, women should have children whether they like it or not. My argument is, there is no concrete reason, why she has refused to. All you are blabbing is pure assumptions and they certainly hold no water. Go and do your revision. And no, I do not support the drive-by beating and snatching. It will be totally stupid to do such. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Hauwa1: 10:24am On Mar 06, 2009 |
Now i see from your new post interesting ![]() Almost all naija men love to marry FINE women. so i don't blame you. who no like better and fine thing? you go for the prettiest gold. the finiest diamond so it wasn't your fault you loved a fine woman (they all do) ![]() OP live your life take the good words here and move on. what is the point of marrying someone you don't love or staying in a marriage with someone you don't love? think abt it if it were you. wished the mother was able to talk to her. i don't like divorce and pray we open our eyes to go into one and keep it. don't live on a bottle of whisky/beer. life is too beautiful to pass by. may you be peaceful, and with time find happiness. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by alfchye(m): 11:17am On Mar 06, 2009 |
I don't think I am believing this guy any more.why won't your own love for her die. Is she the only fine girl in this Lagos.If you can't get a hold of urslef, Please try concentrating on ur carreer or join the reverend father and forget woman. If she can tell you she has stop loving you after two months into marriage.This should tell you everything was a gimmick and you are a good bait. Face the church Brother and pray God remove whatever she has cook for you to eat.Make U no die premature death, because if you die tomorrow, all ur property belongs to her and that her witch mother. Who says Money doesn't solve everything?, Money solve everything but there has to be wisdom applied to it.If no money life doesn't go arround. THIS LIFE MONEY IS EVERYTHING, Like I was telling ma friend in a relationship MONEY buys love.Wether you like it or not.It depend on how you play the card. [s] ABI if you no dress fine, which girl go look ur face.If you no get big uncles when get money which girl want hear ur story and even u get 1st class from University.[/s] |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by switosman(m): 11:32am On Mar 06, 2009 |
@poster there is more to this than the eye can see, trust me, 1. She does not want a 2nd child, why? shape, career and what else, 2. She runs away with her only child to her moms house. 3. She has parted ways with the marriage. I ask, Are you sure that baby girl belongs to you? Are you sure you r prolific to father a child? Are u sure she is not an ogbanje who dies at the birth of another child? Is she from a broken home and what influence does her mother have on her? I can ask many question just to get u to look beyond what the eye can see. her true reason may not be what she says. but on ur own u get to research her motion, motive and action vis-a vis what u know of her long before now. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by spikedcylinder: 12:23pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
1. Medically: may be she went through some trauma while pregnant or even bringing up a child. You will need to discuss this with her in a more matured way than nagging over issues of kids. Raising up kids is draining( emotioanally, physically, financially etc) and i bless those with more than two kids. This was what I was going to say while reading through the thread. Forget the history and dynamics of the issue, if a woman does not want more children, she doesn't want more children. No amount of religious/cultural cajoling should make her look like a demon for not wanting more children. But after seeing the OP's last post, all I'm going to say is; SORRY. Your marriage is over, just try to accept that and move on with your life. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by sosodat: 1:59pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
MRbrownJAY: And Your Point Is? @thread D Ops last post says it all "She stopped loving him 2 months into the marriage". Hence she never intended to give the marriage a chance. Sorry Op, you've been conned and get the DNA test. All that glitters is not Gold |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Higher(m): 2:52pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
@ Poster I strongly believe in given reasons for someone to something rather than forcing it on him/her. Why nt jst sit her up n discuss ur reasons n what she stand to benefit with her. Who knows she could reason with u n settle for a favorable conclusion. Don't forget love doesn't, |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JJYOU: 3:00pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
spikedcylinder:100% correct. davidylan:i trust you and your eyes on this. Higher:i wish there was a medication for these kind of head aches. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by deoye05: 3:14pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
if she has some crutial reasons, such as medical reasons, then i think you have to slow down with her if its to further her career, i dont think it should take as long as six years. give her a grace of two years and if she insists, please find some one else, afterall she has left the house for you already but there is definately more to the story. |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by agabaI23(m): 3:54pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
Probably I missed where he said that he did not want her to work. If that is true, you are wrong. A working mum is an asset to the kids but if a woman spends 25hours chasing money everyday, the kids are at risk. You would need to balance the carrier for the sake of your children. That does not mean a man cannot take care of kids but there are things that nature has carved out and we cannot change it however hard we may try. I would say that 1. the babe needed help. She met you when you were in the US. Your mother inlaw prolly is one these money grabbing humans who would not let anybody based in nigeria come close to their daughters(I know of one). Now you have helped her through school as she wanted. 2. The mother was disappointed that the son-in-law from US who would be sending dollars was not sending(as you said ) and to make matters worse, he is now in Nigeria. 3. She needs a US based son inlaw not a Nigerian based one. 4. She needs a man that will work and turn his pocket upside down for her. 5. She probably does not love her daughter. She is very selfish. 6. She is probably the one egging the daughter to come out. 7.She is not married and she wants a husband in you A kind of thing patience Ozokwor will act. My advice: look for a lawyer and pay him the money they want from you so that you will get a good deal. I pity the girl who the mother is using. Now if it is external beauty you are dying for, there are people who are extremely beautiful physically and yet very beautiful inside. Look for them. But do not be a control freak. A woman needs a space. crowding a woman does not mean love. to be continued ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by JustGood(m): 4:11pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
to be continued ![]() this epistle long o ![]() |
Re: My Wife Is Driving Me Nuts: Doesn't Want A New Baby by Nobody: 4:37pm On Mar 06, 2009 |
@ poster I feel your pain. Nairaland and alcohol wont work. Go to a church. Turn to Jesus. HIS yoke is easy and HIS burden is light. Cast ALL of your pain and worries unto him. Be easy |
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