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The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. - Romance - Nairaland

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The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 10:57pm On Jul 09, 2015
My candid advice for the ladies

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don't be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time?,Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag or makes you unhappy?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really want you.

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen so the best part is that you will fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about because if a woman marries a man who truly loves and cherishes her,she is complete but if she marries a man she is crazy about but does not truly love and cherish her,she is finished.

Hope this helps

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Geezyayo(m): 11:38pm On Jul 09, 2015
nice post


you try
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Geezyayo(m): 11:38pm On Jul 09, 2015
nice post


you try
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 11:41pm On Jul 09, 2015
Geezyayo:
nice post


you try
I dey wait for ladies to comment make i see their notion.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Nobody: 1:01am On Jul 10, 2015
So many advisers n advises this days.

Thanks op all the same.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by wisdomiskey(m): 6:46am On Jul 10, 2015

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen


Wrong how a lady's
mind operates is as thus:
rich guy=fine
Caring guy= a broke niggur to be taken advantage of
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by egobetatoday: 2:14pm On Jul 10, 2015
Toks2008:
My candid advice for the ladies

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don't be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time?,Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag or makes you unhappy?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really want you.

As a lady,you are genetically structured to naturally love a man that treats you well and a cute guy will turn ugly to you when he treats you like poo while that guy you felt nothing for will look so cute and adorable to you after he treats you like a queen so the best part is that you will fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about.

Hope this helps


well said. but u know some ladies will not understand this until they become examples for others to learn.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by delleby(f): 2:40pm On Jul 10, 2015
This assumption is not entirely true. If you marry a lady whom you love and who doesn't have feelings for you, you'l just be among those that will prefer to live in a house with thatched roof than wit that woman.

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Arami92: 3:07pm On Jul 10, 2015
Yes you should not be with a man that is not as crazy about you as you are about him.

But I think for marriage both parties should be crazy about each other.

I've met many "good guys" I wasn't crazy about... I've also met some "bad boys" I've been crazy about.. But non of these men were my husband because I will not marry someone I don't adore and someone that doesn't adore me..we must both be completely in love with one another




And lastly, I see soooooo many posts about how to ensure a good marriage. I've listened to countless people offer advice..and what I've concluded is leave it to the Lord. Pray God grant you the right person for you...because there is honestly no way to predict the success of a marriage, except for one ordained in the heavens. I think the problem is people are too wayward to submit to the will of God..they marry because it's *time* or because he has *money* or she seems like the *ideal* wife...it's almost impossible to make the decision of who you can happily spend the rest of your life with, without seeking the hand of God. Some were best of friends and the marriage still crumbles, some people marry after a week and live happily ever after. There is no recipe or full proof method, just God.

4 Likes

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 5:32pm On Jul 10, 2015
Arami92:

Yes you should not be with a man that is not as crazy about you as you are about him.

But I think for marriage both parties should be crazy about each other.

I've met many "good guys" I wasn't crazy about... I've also met some "bad boys" I've been crazy about.. But non of these men were my husband because I will not marry someone I don't adore and someone that doesn't adore me..we must both be completely in love with one another




And lastly, I see soooooo many posts about how to ensure a good marriage. I've listened to countless people offer advice..and what I've concluded is leave it to the Lord. Pray God grant you the right person for you...because there is honestly no way to predict the success of a marriage, except for one ordained in the heavens. I think the problem is people are too wayward to submit to the will of God..they marry because it's *time* or because he has *money* or she seems like the *ideal* wife...it's almost impossible to make the decision of who you can happily spend the rest of your life with, without seeking the hand of God. Some were best of friends and the marriage still crumbles, some people marry after a week and live happily ever after. There is no recipe or full proof method, just God.



I totally agree with you.

Marriage is like a black market,no matter how rosy the courtship may be,no matter how careful you may be in choosing a spouse,no matter the compatibility or strong bond between both partners and no matter how made in heaven the affair may look,there is always a dint of uncertainty lurking

May GOD help us all.

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 5:34pm On Jul 10, 2015
delleby:
This assumption is not entirely true. If you marry a lady whom you love and who doesn't have feelings for you, you'l just be among those that will prefer to live in a house with thatched roof than wit that woman.

Then you are getting it all twisted.

A man can marry a lady who does not love him and stil manage to cope real good but when a lady marries a man who does not love her,SHE IS FINISHED.

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 5:44pm On Jul 10, 2015
egobetatoday:



well said. but u know some ladies will not understand this until they become examples for others to learn.

Yes agree.Experience they say is the best teacher but i would rather love to learn from the experienced than to learn from my own experience especially the bad ones.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Nobody: 5:45pm On Jul 10, 2015
Toks2008:


Then you are getting it all twisted.

A man can marry a lady who does not love him and stil manage to cope real good but when a lady marries a man who does not love her,SHE IS FINISHED.
And what makes u think a woman would be able to cope with a man she doesn't love in a marriage?

The love must be equal cos I can't bear it staying with a man I don't love.

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 5:48pm On Jul 10, 2015
lagmostkuit:

And what makes u think a woman would be able to cope with a man she doesn't love in a marriage?

The love must be equal cos I can't bear it staying with a man I don't love.

Great but as i wrote before,i have not seen that lady that will not fall in love with a man in the long run who makes her feel really loved and special.Beauty and the beast is not just a fiction but applicable in real life scenario.

You may never understand and i pray you don't.


FYI,The feeling of affection can never be equal no matter how the parties involved claim they love each other so every lady should pray to find a man who loves and wants them more than she does.

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jul 10, 2015
Toks2008:


Great but as i wrote before,i have not seen that lady that will not fall in love with a man in the long run who makes her feel really loved and special.Beauty and the beast is not just a fiction but applicable in real life scenario.

You may never understand and i pray you don't.


FYI,The feeling of affection can never be equal no matter how the parties involved claim they love each other so every lady should pray to find a man who loves and wants them more than she does.
It's alright..


Nice write up!
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 7:06pm On Jul 10, 2015
Thanks dear.
lagmostkuit:
It's alright..
Nice write up!

1 Like

Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by 2CatWoman: 9:20pm On Jul 20, 2015
OP are you joking considering your own history?
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by tuns9629: 11:04pm On Jul 20, 2015
Nice post...I really wish our ladies could learn frm this. Marriage is a forever thing, they shouldn't send the right person away by looking elsewhere..I'm talking frm experience. Peace out y'all.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 8:50pm On Jul 23, 2015
tuns9629:
Nice post...I really wish our ladies could learn frm this. Marriage is a forever thing, they shouldn't send the right person away by looking elsewhere..I'm talking frm experience. Peace out y'all.

When it comes to marriage,its more than feelings but its about that man who will really take you special and not the other way round.

I pray our ladies will learn.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Nobody: 12:36pm On Jul 27, 2015
Its better both love each other, the guy's love maybe greater than the girl's but she needs to have a little love for him. Someone like me cannot stay with a person i don't love no matter how caring he may be. I can't even sleep with that person
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 4:37pm On Jul 29, 2015
The point is if the guy truly cares you will come to love him even if you never did in the first place,that is how a lady is.
cuteshantel39:
Its better both love each other, the guy's love maybe greater than the girl's but she needs to have a little love for him. Someone like me cannot stay with a person i don't love no matter how caring he may be. I can't even sleep with that person
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by 2CatWoman: 4:41pm On Jul 29, 2015
^^^^^
Couldn't disagree more.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 9:53am On Aug 06, 2015
2CatWoman:
^^^^^
Couldn't disagree more.

Why?

Please explain.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 1:59pm On Aug 07, 2015
A man can still cope with a woman who is not into him because he is the captain of the ship but for the lady,its going to be a nightmare for her to marry a man who is not into her.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Omotayor123(f): 2:06pm On Aug 07, 2015
Very True.

A woman should work towards marrying a man who loves her than with a man she loves.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 5:43pm On Aug 07, 2015
Omotayor123:
Very True.

A woman should work towards marrying a man who loves her than with a man she loves.

If you think all that matters is prince charming,six packs,bedmatics and your feelings fore him then pray he feels the same way or more because a drop dead gorgeous guy will look like a demon after treating you like poo while a seemingly ugly guy will be as cute as an angel after treating you like a queen.

Ladies should please learn.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by powerfulsettingz: 7:00pm On Aug 07, 2015
Omotayor123:
Very True.

A woman should work towards marrying a man who loves her than with a man she loves.
That rules only applies u we male not female,we are the one marrying not u people
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Nobody: 7:33pm On Aug 07, 2015
Arami92:

Yes you should not be with a man that is not as crazy about you as you are about him.

But I think for marriage both parties should be crazy about each other.

I've met many "good guys" I wasn't crazy about... I've also met some "bad boys" I've been crazy about.. But non of these men were my husband because I will not marry someone I don't adore and someone that doesn't adore me..we must both be completely in love with one another




And lastly, I see soooooo many posts about how to ensure a good marriage. I've listened to countless people offer advice..and what I've concluded is leave it to the Lord. Pray God grant you the right person for you...because there is honestly no way to predict the success of a marriage, except for one ordained in the heavens. I think the problem is people are too wayward to submit to the will of God..they marry because it's *time* or because he has *money* or she seems like the *ideal* wife...it's almost impossible to make the decision of who you can happily spend the rest of your life with, without seeking the hand of God. Some were best of friends and the marriage still crumbles, some people marry after a week and live happily ever after. There is no recipe or full proof method, just God.



You were doing good until you got to the God part
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Youngpo413: 8:27pm On Aug 07, 2015
Toks2008:


When it comes to marriage,its more than feelings but its about that man who will really take you special and not the other way round.

I pray our ladies will learn.
I pray they never learn,their mistakes is for our own good...you are wasting your time advicing ladies,it seems they are very important to you.I don't give a fuckkk if they make mistakes or not,after all they are called fishbrains for nothing.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Youngpo413: 8:30pm On Aug 07, 2015
Toks2008:

Why?
Please explain.
women don't love guys that truely cares for them
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Toks2008(m): 8:32pm On Aug 07, 2015
Youngpo413:
I pray they never learn,their mistakes is for our own good...you are wasting your time advicing ladies,it seems they are very important to you.I don't give a fuckkk if they make mistakes or not,after all they are called fishbrains for nothing.

Abeg be gentle with them because theey are mostly confused and disillusioned expecially the ones with many suitors.
Re: The costly mistake many ladies make when choosing a spouse. by Youngpo413: 8:32pm On Aug 07, 2015
Toks2008:


If you think all that matters is prince charming,six packs,bedmatics and your feelings fore him then pray he feels the same way or more because a drop dead gorgeous guy will look like a demon after treating you like poo while a seemingly ugly guy will be as cute as an angel after treating you like a queen.

Ladies should please learn.
I now understand the reason you created this thread,lol...smlD

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