Hello
I have a lady friend who got married to guy supposed to be her husband, they have been married for over 9 years now. The husband travelled out of the country after the court wedding. During these 9 years period he as only visited the wife like three to four times and those periods put together is not up to two months. While away he calls her like twice in two or three months, he sends money to her like once a month, but when ever my friend tries to call him on phone, his phone will ring without him answering the call, and when he eventually sees the missed call, he will and say “I will call you later” and that call later might be after three days. His excuse is that he is trying to work her visa to meet him where he is and he is very busy with work. They have 3 kids together and the oldest is about 11 years.
Now are they really married, is that what marriage is really about or what……..Now she considering divorce, but I told her to consider the aftermath well; she should think on the option of divorce VERY well before taking action.
Please any advice on what she can do please – to stay or break off. Please wise advice please.

No comment.....

You won't get good advice here. Should have posted in family section

What kind of man marries a woman, has kids with her, and abandons her in such manner.
From everything you wrote, it's obvious the man doesn't love or care about his wife and kids, because if he did he wouldn't treat them in such manner, and that's really sad.

I am not going to advise that the wife divorce him, because that's solely her decision to make.
But if I was in the same situation, I wouldn't be able to put up with such a marriage. No one deserves to be treated in such manner.

The best thing to do is discuss things with him, and explain emphatically, how she feels about the whole situation.
She should talk with him and let him see his wrong and urge him to be a better husband and father to his kids. At least if not her, the kids deserve their father's attention.

If after all this, the husband still doesn't change, she could go on with the divorce if she wants to.

i'll be back.

Marriage wahala.. The women are really really on d receivn end of its perks

whizqueen:
You won't get good advice here. Should have posted in family section

Thanks have done that..

He's been with her three or four times after marriage and they have three children Na when him body full him dey come house isn't it obvious he has another spouse over there ? You don't even need to add 2 and 2 to know this.

My advice if she is well off financially she can opt for divorce, or stay in the marriage employ the service of a surrogate husband.

Surrogate Husband?! Damn I just came up with a business idea for such women.

Didn't they discuss how their marriage will before the got married?

only GOD knows y it is the women that gets the bitter part of marriage

nairamaverick:
He's been with her three or four times after marriage and they have three children Na when him body full him dey come house isn't it obvious he has another spouse over there ? You don't even need to add 2 and 2 to know this.

My advice if she is well off financially she can opt for divorce, or stay in the marriage employ the service of a surrogate husband.

Surrogate Husband?! Damn I just came up with a business idea for such women.

Guy na my close friend you wan give surrogate husband abi...hmmm..u no serious o

nairamaverick:
He's been with her three or four times after marriage and they have three children Na when him body full him dey come house isn't it obvious he has another spouse over there ? You don't even need to add 2 and 2 to know this.

My advice if she is well off financially she can opt for divorce, or stay in the marriage employ the service of a surrogate husband.

Surrogate Husband?! Damn I just came up with a business idea for such women.

good one, but for the surrogate husband am not in support of , she should hoop out of the marriage if she thinks she stands to gain nothing,than flirting around with another man that will letter tag her into an adulterer

tobodex:
Hello
I have a lady friend who got married to guy supposed to be her husband, they have been married for over 9 years now. The husband travelled out of the country after the court wedding. During these 9 years period he as only visited the wife like three to four times and those periods put together is not up to two months. While away he calls her like twice in two or three months, he sends money to her like once a month, but when ever my friend tries to call him on phone, his phone will ring without him answering the call, and when he eventually sees the missed call, he will and say “I will call you later” and that call later might be after three days. His excuse is that he is trying to work her visa to meet him where he is and he is very busy with work. They have 3 kids together and the oldest is about 11 years.
Now are they really married, is that what marriage is really about or what……..Now she considering divorce, but I told her to consider the aftermath well; she should think on the option of divorce VERY well before taking action.
Please any advice on what she can do please – to stay or break off. Please wise advice please.

She needs to apply for a visiting visa to go stay with him for a month. asap

lurlah2014:
only GOD knows y it is the women that gets the bitter part of marriage

Hmmmm......

ehnn, is it a lie?

tobodex:



Hmmmm......

tobodex:


Guy na my close friend you wan give surrogate husband abi...hmmm..u no serious o

My oga no vex but from your write up she's not had sex for more than two months in a marriage of 9 years I find that hard to believe.

About the surrogate husband I'm an unemployed graduate who has just found solution to a problem lots of women out there are suffering from. This a new market! Make I go register with CAC

Your lady friend has being scammed big time.

she should leave the marriage.that's the best for her

You are already in and you are in for life. Abortion is not allowed. Don't abort ur marriage. Pray, when next he comes back if you cannot lay hand on his papers,pressurize him to leave his joystick behind. U would always need it

Dat is wot u get for one of ur selfish priorities placing ur life on juicy finz. She must av turned down at least a promising guy here because of numerous offers.


Is it not obvious d man is avin anoda woman over there goin by ur story?I guess dat is wot guaranteed his green card while u are here as home aaset he is comin to meet if he ever returns one day @ old age.
He isn't processing any furcking visa for u. he knws if u shld com meet him there, oka don fo b dat.
D earlier u fasten ur belt nd tak gud care of ur children, d better it is for u.
Forget avin husband dat cares somwia. U can also file for divorce but afta she must av discussed it wit him in one of d few opportunities dey do av to talk(phone or in person).