Hehe, you just exhibited a character trait of a kid. Just imagine. How old are you? 32?

fowowe411:
You don't come online and start venting your frustrations on others.. If you can't advice then just pass..... Kids on nairaland these days

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]THERE IS NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT IN ABIA STATE

This morning about 7.am in the morning a well dress banker in ABA,fell into a gutter along ikot ekpene road.due to the bad leadership of the past admistration and the present admistration is highly in a confuse state of mind by doing the right thing @ the wrong time

Please the people of Abia state are crying for help from federal govt.and are beging EFCC to probe the past admistration for cash lotting............

People of ABA read this and thank me latter............see my signature

Ephemmm:


So at 32, he is not ripe for marriage in your own thinking? If you know how many calls I receive from his parents especially his mother per week you wont be saying this.

However, if I am the one and I post it online, will I be crucified? I will never hesitate to post anything bothering my mind online because nobody knows my username except from me.

I am here to source for better way of advising the guy: he is older than me and I believe he is ripe for marriage. From previous comments, I have even seen two nairalanders who claimed they are in the same shoe personally.

You can drop better suggestion if you have any.

At 32 years he does not have an accommodation of his own but has N600k in his account, perhaps to pursue his career. Right now he is either squatting with friends or living with parents/relatives who provide for his wants and needs. Maturity shows responsibility. Ability to pay your bills. Sometimes lending a hand to younger ones or extended family. This automatically prepares us to the demands of building our own homes.

If he's a guy with the sole responsibilities to his survival, N600k is nothing after 30 calendars to get another pay check. Marriage at this stage will compound his problem. Let him be. You don't take a horse to the river and forces it to drink. Your advice will mean nothing if he has the conviction that he is not ready.

All these kids saying 600k is too small haven't saved 10k of their own b4 ohh. Guy you can still get married with your stable salary but dont start having kid like a pig

Ephemmm:
Despite staying idle for over a year after his graduation from one of Nigerian Polytechnics, my friend finally secured his first job at Access Bank as a contract staff with 70k as salary. After two years in Access Bank, he did not only become a graduate member of a professional body in his discipline, but also strive hard to have 600k in his account. My friend has also acquired two plots of land in “not too enlightened area” in Osogbo, the capital state capital of Osun State. As a very ambitious man, he is also considering going for his Master Degree Programme, but has not yet decide on which the course and direction to follow.

At a talented student, he came out as the best candidate among both Universities and Polytechnic graduates called for interview in one of private firms in Nigeria and has started working with them with N115k as net monthly salary in the past few months.
He is 32 years of age now, and he is in love with a lady of 26 who was her junior while in Polytechnic. The lady in question too has combined fashion school with her job search, the ambition which has not yet come to a fruition.

The bone of contention now is the insistence of my friend that his would-be-partner MUST be employed gainfully too before he can have a slightest though about marriage despite intense pressures from all angles. His parents have assured him of little help during marriage ceremony, but his self-reliant tendency has not acceded to their admonition. In my own perception about him, he is not ready to settle down for marriage as a result of his 'over ambition' in academic line: truly he is talented and I can beat my chest for him anyday anytime when it comes his discipline.

Without accommodation of his own at present, coupled with the need for marriage expenses and the need to further his education, should he consider settling for marriage in Lagos now?

As one of his closest friend, I decided to narrate this incidence on nairaland so that he can get first-hand-advice different from my own perspective because he is a kind of somebody that nobody can compel to do something unless he is personally and totally convinced, just like me.

This is a true life scenario: matured advice is needed. Thank God he is a nairalander too

build the house first n marry b4 u r 38yrs.Dont fall for that marriage thing now! When u marry now b4 building dat house, possibility dey say that Eve or Sarah fit give u wrong advice. Try build that house quick b4 u start feeling lonely like Adam lol

Koolking:


At 32 years he does not have an accommodation of his own but has N600k in his account, perhaps to pursue his career. Right now he is either squatting with friends or living with parents/relatives who provide for his wants and needs. Maturity shows responsibility. Ability to pay your bills. Sometimes lending a hand to younger ones or extended family. This automatically prepares us to the demands of building our own homes.

If he's a guy with the sole responsibilities to his survival, N600k is nothing after 30 calendars get another pay check. Marriage at this stage will compound his problem. Let him be. You don't take a horse to the river and forces it to drink. Your advice will mean nothing if he has the conviction that he is not ready.

Right now, he is staying at mini-flat with one of his school mates: whether they joined money together or not to pay rent, that is what I don't know. although his current salary is 115k or more, but one of the things that baffles me much is that he always claim he can't use his hard-earned money to settle for any relationship at this time: he said he prefer to leave a better children behind to the world when he is gone than leaving a better world for his children when he is gone.

The guy na 'case study' honestly.

Op since ur friend is old enough to f*ck, u n him are old enough to knw dat nobody gives a f*ck, una wahala na una own oh

Spells:
Op since ur friend is old enough to f*ck, u n him are old enough to knw dat nobody gives a f*ck, una wahala na una own oh

He is my 'senior friend' though, but remember, nobody is an island of knowledge.

Why take panadol for for headache your friend don't even have? he said he is not ready to marry get until the
girl is gainfully employ. you can come seek for advice when he tells you he is ready to marry.

.

boboLIL:
Na marriage 0r dating?



Kip hustling......nwanne



600k t00 small bik0

Nicepoker:
u will be banned for life soon.

coward like you. do I look like I care or fear being banned afterall have got a better life offline unlike you that your life is based upon nairaland. That's why you don't speak the truth because you fear getting banned

You have spoken well,
More worse is the fact he has not even gotten any reasonable advice so far.

bigv:
Can believe a grown ass man is asking such question. This simply implies;

* He's definitely not ready for marriage, and I pity the girl who'd commit to him.

* What was the source of the 600K? Is it sustainable? How long did it take him to make that amount?

* The third is just like the first, as a grown ass man, people with vision have married with a lot less.

I think the problem most times, is we have too many immature men jumping into marriage. Cos if you ask me, I didn't pick a wife for you, so I don't know why you'd ask if 600K is okay. Pls ask Cosmas Maduka

jaybee3:
I can understand his point of view since his ambitions are being actualized in order of priority

115K per month would easily become peanut when 1 becomes 2, 3 etc.

You always have to plan your life to suit your ambition in order to be successful

If financial stability and freedom is his number one goal then surely, marriage ain't going to add kobo to it.

You mean he should be 35 before getting married? From the look of thing, her mother is not helping the matter. The worst part of it is that anytime the guy refused to pick her call, my line is the next, only for her to be putting pressure on me to convince her son to get married. The scenario is really frustrating me

gabazin080:
coward like you. do I look like I care or fear being banned afterall have got a better life offline unlike you that your life is based upon nairaland. That's why you don't speak the truth because you fear getting banned

even a simple joke can't get down well on u.

Ephemmm:


You mean he should be 35 before getting married? From the look of thing, her mother is not helping the matter. The worst part of it is that anytime the guy refused to pick her call, my line is the next, only for her to be putting pressure on me to convince her son to get married. The scenario is really frustrating me

I wouldn't want to get into using an age baseline approach since circumstances will always be different.

The major reason why most men marry early is so they don't feel pressure to continue working to support their family at later stages of their lives. Marriage is an individual thing and one needs to feel ready before venturing into it

He needs to be mentally and financially ready to take that life changing decision. The mum is not going to be the one in the marriage so it's best if she takes a chill pill.

Your friend is out of his mind, a man of his calibal without a wife is incomplete and not wise, means he is very stingy cos he wants his wife to struggle too to support the marriage.

Ephemmm:


Right now, he is staying at mini-flat with one of his school mates: whether they joined money together or not to pay rent, that is what I don't know. although his current salary is 115k or more, but one of the things that baffles me much is that he always claim he can't use his hard-earned money to settle for any relationship at this time: he said he prefer to leave a better children behind to the world when he is gone than leaving a better world for his children when he is gone.

The guy na 'case study' honestly.

Dude..me thinks your friend friend should:
1. Delay getting married for at least a year (he will be 33 by then)
2. Within that one year break,he should get his own place,(a decent mini-flat in a decent area will do),furnish it up to a moderate level(rushing up an apartment no be moin-moin o,especially in Lagos).
3. Encourage and assist his gal to finish her schooling and fashion designing training,and if need be go for her NYSC(during this period she would av maybe gotten a clientele base who will be patronizing her,that's an added advantage as means of income is now doubled when they both eventually settle down).
Parting shot..its imperative your friends know that whether he's very okay financially or not,marriage involves the grace of the Almighty,if the gal is truly his missing rib,once they get married every other issue will fall into place..but they can only fall into place when the necessary parameters are met i.e shelter,feeding,financial comfort. Goodluck to your friend!!

Y in a hurry, 32 is stil a baby, u ar supoz 2 stil b under ur parents. Y on earth wil u think of setlin down with jst 600k? Try n wait till 50yrs at least by den d moni must increased 2 600m

Well Mr OP,you are a very ambitions man..Everything you have achieved within two years shows that you are a very prudent manager of resources.I know people who earns more than that and yet nothing to show for it except booze and clubbing..Now take a leap of faith,you can actually settle down (depending on the kind of woman u want to marry),if she's understanding,prudent and hardworking/smart.I'm glad u love her,you actually need alot of that to overlook alot of her shortcomings..Even if you wait till 40 years,u might not even have up to a million naira in ur acct..From experience,alot of people who married late usually regret they do,imagine a 60 years old man still having kids writing junior waec..What about the uncertainty,you think Nig will be better tomorrow,FORGET IT!
Have a strategic plan of one year,frm your 115k per month u can save another 800k if marriage is WHAT YOU WANT!By feb next year,get an apartment (you DONT need a two-bedroom flat,the other room will be empty nd ure indirectly inviting squatters which u dont need for now.Go for a mini flat,its just you and your wifey and even with a baby you're still good to go).By july next year,settle down..Just Plan,time wait for no one...You might never be Dangote!GEJ said something during his sentforth party from aso-rock and i quote "Those happy people you see out there are not necessarily the richest"..most importantly,talk to God,he will direct your steps...#Peace #TeamExperience

To be a man is not a small something oh. May God open our eyes to see that there is unlimited riches floating about in the air around us. All these pakoro scrounging for peanuts is not what life should be all about.

Nicepoker:
even a simple joke can't get down well on u.

alright. Sorry bro.
am just angry because I returned from a week ban this noon. so I don't like to hear jokes or wanting to be friendly with the mods again.
Hope we are cool now. Cheers

he doesn't need money to marry fact number 1

since he is gainfully employed and has a well paid job and his to be wife is learned as well, if truly he is a good manager, let me set his wife up and manage her and he fashion dream, he might be surprise he will have no reason to earn salary again if he is really brilliant as you claim fact number 2

if he truly love the lady and plan to marry her why wait for her to get a salary scale job? is he the owner of the company he is working with presently? confused people called themselves brilliant plenty for naija.

dapotemi:
Well Mr OP,you are a very ambitions man..Everything you have achieved within two years shows that you are a very prudent manager of resources.I know people who earns more than that and yet nothing to show for it except booze and clubbing..Now take a leap of faith,you can actually settle down (depending on the kind of woman u want to marry),if she's understanding,prudent and hardworking/smart.I'm glad u love her,you actually need alot of that to overlook alot of her shortcomings..Even if you wait till 40 years,u might not even have up to a million naira in ur acct..From experience,alot of people who married late usually regret they do,imagine a 60 years old man still having kids writing junior waec..What about the uncertainty,you think Nig will be better tomorrow,FORGET IT!
Have a strategic plan of one year,frm your 115k per month u can save another 800k if marriage is WHAT YOU WANT!By feb next year,get an apartment (you DONT need a two-bedroom flat,the other room will be empty nd ure indirectly inviting squatters which u dont need for now.Go for a mini flat,its just you and your wifey and even with a baby you're still good to go).By july next year,settle down..Just Plan,time wait for no one...You might never be Dangote!GEJ said something during his sentforth party from aso-rock and i quote "Those happy people you see out there are not necessarily the richest"..most importantly,talk to God,he will direct your steps...#Peace #TeamExperience

Good! This is one of the most versatile responses I have read on this subject matter so far.

Na lie jor. No be money hook am. E no like the girl.

600k is more than enough to get married. Work on your budget and stick to it.

People that earn less are happily married and leaving their lives.

gabazin080:
alright. Sorry bro.
am just angry because I returned from a week ban this noon. so I don't like to hear jokes or wanting to be friendly with the mods again.
Hope we are cool now. Cheers

no probs bro. The funny thing is that. When u get banned that's when u can come out with the best comment on every topic that make FP.

you mean 600k? ... even, 200k worth are settling down.

Ephemmm:


Right now, he is staying at mini-flat with one of his school mates: whether they joined money together or not to pay rent, that is what I don't know. although his current salary is 115k or more, but one of the things that baffles me much is that he always claim he can't use his hard-earned money to settle for any relationship at this time: he said he prefer to leave a better children behind to the world when he is gone than leaving a better world for his children when he is gone.

The guy na 'case study' honestly.

He knows what he wants. He is not commiting any crime by avoiding marriage at 32. Maturity is also doing things at your volition and convictions, not necessarily being talked to

zicoraads:
...modified...

Marry what? With what?

And he doesn't have a house of his? Which means he is still squatting At 32 right? If he doesn't have a house of his, then he can't get married now. Getting a house and furnishing it 'no be beans'. And then having to feed an extra mouth...this is Africa, so, some members of her family. And most likely his.

Marriage no be beans o. Which is why I don't blame guys who insist on getting married to ladies who are self sufficient. He should break up with that girl and stop wasting her time. Because from all indications, he wants a lady who can also chip in financially in the home.

Guys, read the post again. Nothing stops the chap from renting a house and living there. This is someone that has bought 2 plots of land already in Osogbo.

He already has a job, too. He is earning over 100k. There are people who earn less than that and are already married with a stable family. So what is he waiting for? He also has 600k in his account. He obviously does not love the babe. He only loves her capacity to earn money. Ok, if she gets a job now, and they get married.... does it mean he will divorce her, if she loses her job? Or if the organisation she is working for, decides to fold up or declare bankruptcy?

N.B; This is a girl that is already doing fashion design courses oh. I am sure she will be able to fend for herself using that skill, if she is hardworking and determined.

bigv:
Can't believe a grown ass man is asking such question. This simply implies;

* He's definitely not ready for marriage, and I pity the girl who'd commit to him.

* What was the source of the 600K? Is it sustainable? How long did it take him to make that amount?

* The third is just like the first, as a grown ass man, people with vision have married with a lot less.

I think the problem most times, is we have too many immature men jumping into marriage. Cos if you ask me, I didn't pick a wife for you, so I don't know why you'd ask if 600K is okay. Pls ask Cosmas Maduka

Bros, you are too correct. This your response is one of the best that I have read so far, on this thread. Abeg, collect one bowl of 'isi-ewu' and one chilled bottle over there. The drinks are all on me!

eleko1:
Acting baba Ijebu abi? He shud marry fashion designer,tailor,hair dresser(aren't dey human too ).Make he come Marry vickyrotex,dosht(Millionaire)But he must roga mi

Be like sey you wan chop pankere this afternoon

dapotemi:
Well Mr OP,you are a very ambitions man..Everything you have achieved within two years shows that you are a very prudent manager of resources.I know people who earns more than that and yet nothing to show for it except booze and clubbing..Now take a leap of faith,you can actually settle down (depending on the kind of woman u want to marry),if she's understanding,prudent and hardworking/smart.I'm glad u love her,you actually need alot of that to overlook alot of her shortcomings..Even if you wait till 40 years,u might not even have up to a million naira in ur acct..From experience,alot of people who married late usually regret they do,imagine a 60 years old man still having kids writing junior waec..What about the uncertainty,you think Nig will be better tomorrow,FORGET IT!
Have a strategic plan of one year,frm your 115k per month u can save another 800k if marriage is WHAT YOU WANT!By feb next year,get an apartment (you DONT need a two-bedroom flat,the other room will be empty nd ure indirectly inviting squatters which u dont need for now.Go for a mini flat,its just you and your wifey and even with a baby you're still good to go).By july next year,settle down..Just Plan,time wait for no one...You might never be Dangote!GEJ said something during his sentforth party from aso-rock and i quote "Those happy people you see out there are not necessarily the richest"..most importantly,talk to God,he will direct your steps...#Peace #TeamExperience

Thank you, jare! Your comments are one of the most sensible ones I have read in a long time!

Op ar u sure ur frnd was nt that guy that won who want to be a millionaire last nite,

dapotemi:
Well Mr OP,you are a very ambitions man..Everything you have achieved within two years shows that you are a very prudent manager of resources.I know people who earns more than that and yet nothing to show for it except booze and clubbing..Now take a leap of faith,you can actually settle down (depending on the kind of woman u want to marry),if she's understanding,prudent and hardworking/smart.I'm glad u love her,you actually need alot of that to overlook alot of her shortcomings..Even if you wait till 40 years,u might not even have up to a million naira in ur acct..From experience,alot of people who married late usually regret they do,imagine a 60 years old man still having kids writing junior waec..What about the uncertainty,you think Nig will be better tomorrow,FORGET IT!
Have a strategic plan of one year,frm your 115k per month u can save another 800k if marriage is WHAT YOU WANT!By feb next year,get an apartment (you DONT need a two-bedroom flat,the other room will be empty nd ure indirectly inviting squatters which u dont need for now.Go for a mini flat,its just you and your wifey and even with a baby you're still good to go).By july next year,settle down..Just Plan,time wait for no one...You might never be Dangote!GEJ said something during his sentforth party from aso-rock and i quote "Those happy people you see out there are not necessarily the richest"..most importantly,talk to God,he will direct your steps...#Peace #TeamExperience

BEST RESPONSE EVER READ SO FAR.......LEARN ALOT FRM DIS POST (Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.....its about learning how to dance in the rain)