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With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by kumbalo2014: 3:41pm On Jul 13, 2015
bigv:
Can't believe a grown ass man is asking such question. This simply implies;

* He's definitely not ready for marriage, and I pity the girl who'd commit to him.

* What was the source of the 600K? Is it sustainable? How long did it take him to make that amount?

* The third is just like the first, as a grown ass man, people with vision have married with a lot less.

I think the problem most times, is we have too many immature men jumping into marriage. Cos if you ask me, I didn't pick a wife for you, so I don't know why you'd ask if 600K is okay. Pls ask Cosmas Maduka undecided

Seconded.

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by kumbalo2014: 3:41pm On Jul 13, 2015
bigv:
Can't believe a grown ass man is asking such question. This simply implies;

* He's definitely not ready for marriage, and I pity the girl who'd commit to him.

* What was the source of the 600K? Is it sustainable? How long did it take him to make that amount?

* The third is just like the first, as a grown ass man, people with vision have married with a lot less.

I think the problem most times, is we have too many immature men jumping into marriage. Cos if you ask me, I didn't pick a wife for you, so I don't know why you'd ask if 600K is okay. Pls ask Cosmas Maduka undecided

Seeconded.

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Sajio(m): 3:42pm On Jul 13, 2015
Well, it all depend on the tribe u marrying from.. if u going to East..... the money is capital NOT enough. but if u coming to delta... 400k will even b enough in some tribes.. so the question is............. Where is she from!!!

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Ephemmm: 3:51pm On Jul 13, 2015
Sajio:
Well, it all depend on the tribe u marrying from.. if u going to East..... the money is capital NOT enough. but if u coming to delta... 400k will even b enough in some tribes.. so the question is............. Where is she from!!!

Both of them are Yorubas...
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by galantjoe(m): 3:53pm On Jul 13, 2015
Dear Op, i would advise you as a real man who has enormous experience in this life to
marry now.

From ur explanation, ur income of N115k is fair enough to start a good family.
Even age is against you. man suppose to marry at age of 25 years to be able
cater for his children while in ur youth age, not when u re 60years and retired
from service, your children are still in sec schools. your death is near.

But if you married now at 32 years of age which is a bit late by 7 years, have number
of children u can raise, with this pay and good planning the sky is ur limit.

For your wife, whether ur wife is working or not, what matters is good and understanding
wife. who is diligent and conscientious in all her actions.

i wish u good lucks

7 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by laudate: 4:01pm On Jul 13, 2015
Ephemmm:


Both of them are Yorubas...

The guy no get case, I swear. Something is following him from his village....

With 200k, he can do introduction & engagement or traditional wedding in the girl's family compound and then go to the court registry afterwards.Haba!! shocked
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by bigv(m): 4:03pm On Jul 13, 2015
Nothing do you my guy. *bar man: abeg nack me better nkwobi there* grin
laudate:


Guys, read the post again. Nothing stops the chap from renting a house and living there. This is someone that has bought 2 plots of land already in Osogbo.

He already has a job, too. He is earning over 100k. There are people who earn less than that and are already married with a stable family. So what is he waiting for? He also has 600k in his account. He obviously does not love the babe. He only loves her capacity to earn money. Ok, if she gets a job now, and they get married.... does it mean he will divorce her, if she loses her job? Or if the organisation she is working for, decides to fold up or declare bankruptcy? undecided

N.B; This is a girl that is already doing fashion design courses oh. I am sure she will be able to fend for herself using that skill, if she is hardworking and determined.



Bros, you are too correct. This your response is one of the best that I have read so far, on this thread. Abeg, collect one bowl of 'isi-ewu' and one chilled bottle over there. The drinks are all on me! cool
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by badboyphc: 4:04pm On Jul 13, 2015
I am 23 with 6.3M bank balance and I am not ready sef. I pity you. 600k. mtchew
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Olufemiolaolu(m): 4:14pm On Jul 13, 2015
rattlesnake:
Nope use the 600k to get more certification till 45
Abi oooo my guy. Majority of pple giving advices here re confused. That 115k is d salary of a level 12 civil servant in a civil service. O boy do d kind marriage u can afford biko. having an elaborate wedding isnt an investment now. Ur location matters a lot. I know sb living in ogun state with a salary of less than 100k that has built a beautiful house, its all abt planning & set ur priority right man.

3 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Ephemmm: 4:14pm On Jul 13, 2015
badboyphc:
I am 23 with 6.3M bank balance and I am not ready sef. I pity you. 600k. mtchew

So for how long do you want the guy to wait till he will get 6.3m? We have millions of people without what he has and are doing fine in their marriages.

We have different race to run and different destiny to carry: no comparism. If he has decided: he should move on.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Ephemmm: 4:19pm On Jul 13, 2015
galantjoe:
Dear Op, i would advise you as a real man who has enormous experience in this life to
marry now.

From ur explanation, ur income of N115k is fair enough to start a good family.
Even age is against you. man suppose to marry at age of 25 years to be able
cater for his children while in ur youth age, not when u re 60years and retired
from service, your children are still in sec schools. your death is near.

But if you married now at 32 years of age which is a bit late by 7 years, have number
of children u can raise, with this pay and good planning the sky is ur limit.

For your wife, whether ur wife is working or not, what matters is good and understanding
wife. who is diligent and conscientious in all her actions.

i wish u good lucks

In consideration of the fact that he is living in Lagos where a mini-flat is 250 per year, do you think he will be able to sustain it with the payment of 500 for two years plus the agreement and commission of 100k? With newly secured accommodation, his saving will dry up within the twinkle of an eyes, honestly.
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Nwogeh: 4:20pm On Jul 13, 2015
I'm just in ur shoes, evrytn u said is same wt me jus dt im 30 she is 24, she is graduating dis yr, me i ve worked for 6yrs, no savings, rather a debt of abt 100k. I ve a month-old job now bt my pay pass urs eventhough i stay PH which i know is costlier dan staying in lagos but im getting married by next April God wills. My reasons are:
1)I need 2maintain a beta relationship wt God n avoid avoidable sins, optain God's favor since he who finds a wife finds a good thing n optains favor from d lord, so i need dis favor.....i need dis good thing
2)we want 2start building our future 2geda so as 2integrate our dreams as soon as possible
3) I need her 2take care of our investment as soon as we open it so dt I can join her later cos I can't wok 4men 4eva
4) I want 2 raise my kids while I'm stil young
5) I want 2reduce my wok load of working @home n office
6) I want 2scale unnecessary dependants away, block some financial leakages n save more
7) above all, I need a companion, a frnd, a moda, a loved one n a sista combined in one person who wil be der 2make me 4get d days stress nd give me anoda style of challenge (u know women wahala) aside d usual work challenge
cool I'm tired of comin home by 5, locking my door till 6am, leave 4wok again, Mon to sat, no one 2talk wt except on phone, even wen I ve anoda person 2talk 2, extra cost wil be involved
9) I miss her a lot at times I cry cos she is not here, I feel very bad watching her say good bye, n she hardly visits cos of our faith
10) I'm matured in mind 2marry and have no oda reason 2give since I ve my ICAN, HND n a good job
11) No mata how we see it, good women are great managers, u would ve saved more dan dt amount if u were wt her as a wife all doz yrs
12) Finally dt girl needs u, she wants 2sleep n wake up in ur arms, she wants 2proof 2d society dt she is woman enof n above all feel relaxed, settle her mind n concentrate on her home n career since she has arrived
13) my broda, take a bold step, I bet u, if u guys keep a good distance 4 three months talking on phone only, u wud see reasons 2tie d nuptial as soon as possible if u truely luv her.

4 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Malawian(m): 4:20pm On Jul 13, 2015
Ephemmm:
Despite staying idle for over a year after his graduation from one of Nigerian Polytechnics, my friend finally secured his first job at Access Bank as a contract staff with 70k as salary. After two years in Access Bank, he did not only become a graduate member of a professional body in his discipline, but also strive hard to have 600k in his account. My friend has also acquired two plots of land in “not too enlightened area” in Osogbo, the capital state capital of Osun State. As a very ambitious man, he is also considering going for his Master Degree Programme, but has not yet decide on which the course and direction to follow.

At a talented student, he came out as the best candidate among both Universities and Polytechnic graduates called for interview in one of private firms in Nigeria and has started working with them with N115k as net monthly salary in the past few months.
He is 32 years of age now, and he is in love with a lady of 26 who was her junior while in Polytechnic. The lady in question too has combined fashion school with her job search, the ambition which has not yet come to a fruition.

The bone of contention now is the insistence of my friend that his would-be-partner MUST be employed gainfully too before he can have a slightest though about marriage despite intense pressures from all angles. His parents have assured him of little help during marriage ceremony, but his self-reliant tendency has not acceded to their admonition. In my own perception about him, he is not ready to settle down for marriage as a result of his 'over ambition' in academic line: truly he is talented and I can beat my chest for him anyday anytime when it comes his discipline.

Without accommodation of his own at present, coupled with the need for marriage expenses and the need to further his education, should he consider settling for marriage in Lagos now?

As one of his closest friend, I decided to narrate this incidence on nairaland so that he can get first-hand-advice different from my own perspective because he is a kind of somebody that nobody can compel to do something unless he is personally and totally convinced, just like me.

This is a true life scenario: matured advice is needed. Thank God he is a nairalander too tongue tongue tongue
op, if you know all these details about "your friend", i take it that your name is "myfriend" grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Ephemmm: 4:23pm On Jul 13, 2015
Malawian:

op, if you know all these details about "your friend", i take it that your name is "myfriend" grin grin grin

No story is entirely factual, but don't be surprised that 90-95% of the content of this story is non-fictitious. this is even a miniature of his deepest desire which I know: don't be surprised!

With proof and reliability, men are more open to each other and I believe you will agree with me.
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by marshalcarter: 4:23pm On Jul 13, 2015
Emodeee:


Don't take the advice of a weed taker, they talk out of context.
Only the wise who has future ambition would understand...the fools lyk you won't cos u're still suckin mama's nipple









#sips weed nd......









Oh!!!



Pls tell me whr I wrote outta context



And coke#grin
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Fxwarrior: 4:24pm On Jul 13, 2015
Gurgle:
so basically he doesn't want to marry her until she has her own income?

and his parents are saying he should marry her anyway?

Why I agree that marriage is a good thing I cannot subscribe he's ready to face the pressure since he's hands are full at the moment.

What is #600 000 that would be gulped down with the marriage preparation? Meanwhile the fiancee is unemployed and there's no guarantee she will get a job immediately after the wedding meaning that all her financial needs and desires will be shouldered by your friend as it is. I don't know if the fiancee is as ambitious as he is or if she can manage finances in wisdom as you left that part.

Let him start building a house on those plots of land as it would make things easier for him in future. He's right to insist the fiancee should get employed albeit self employed since its her role to be a help meet. So what help can she render to him should he marry her now?

If your friend or you as I don't know if you are person marries her now then it means you are not man enough to take decisions and would fall further to future pressures to them.

Marriage is a liability especially where only one party iss financially involved.

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by deeobserver209(m): 4:27pm On Jul 13, 2015
It depends on whether he values marriage and family. Most times guys place high premium on carreer and academic pursuit to mariage. Eventually when they do get married, its just to fullfil all righteousness. No passion for living in the marriage nor raising a family. In the end, they end up bitter. Careers and individual financial success goals are great, but when valued more or placed higher on the ladder than marriage it becomes a problem.
Guys need to place high priority on marriage a bit more than their personal careers. It is the most important institution on earth. And as such, anyone who wishes for a happy married life must place high premium on it. Personaly will rather go for a highly successful marriage with a great family, than have a great career with disfunctional marriage and family.
Finally its not how much you have in your account, or how many properties you possess that determines whether a marriage succeeds. Lots of men got married with much less sums, in some cases virtualy nothing in their accounts. But they a living happily in their marriages. Its all about individual priorities about marriage.
The most important ingredient to a successful marriage is Commitment. Total commitment is a must if you intend to live a happy married life raising a wonderful family. Anyone who's not sure of his commitment to marriage should stay away from it. At least until he's mentally ready. But then, it all balls down to individual's value on marriage and family life.

2 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by femi4: 4:27pm On Jul 13, 2015
marshalcarter:
Buddy....those your lands...do you wanna build house on it or wat do you wanna do with it??
If yes...in my perspective...i'll rather stand my house 1st before gettin married





#cheers



#sips weed nd 5alive#
with 100k salary and master by the side. Maybe in 10yrs time...he will complete it
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Aystarz: 4:28pm On Jul 13, 2015
free2ryhme:

He stays in osogbo and thinks the economy their is similar too lagos abi?
His 600' no reach 2 bedroom for a year for lagos oo
U can lie oooo
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Aystarz: 4:29pm On Jul 13, 2015
free2ryhme:

He stays in osogbo and thinks the economy their is similar too lagos abi?
His 600' no reach 2 bedroom for a year for lagos oo
U can lie oooo
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by MrPresident1: 4:31pm On Jul 13, 2015
Ephemmm:
Despite staying idle for over a year after his graduation from one of Nigerian Polytechnics, my friend finally secured his first job at Access Bank as a contract staff with 70k as salary. After two years in Access Bank, he did not only become a graduate member of a professional body in his discipline, but also strive hard to have 600k in his account. My friend has also acquired two plots of land in “not too enlightened area” in Osogbo, the capital state capital of Osun State. As a very ambitious man, he is also considering going for his Master Degree Programme, but has not yet decide on which the course and direction to follow.

At a talented student, he came out as the best candidate among both Universities and Polytechnic graduates called for interview in one of private firms in Nigeria and has started working with them with N115k as net monthly salary in the past few months.
He is 32 years of age now, and he is in love with a lady of 26 who was her junior while in Polytechnic. The lady in question too has combined fashion school with her job search, the ambition which has not yet come to a fruition.

The bone of contention now is the insistence of my friend that his would-be-partner MUST be employed gainfully too before he can have a slightest though about marriage despite intense pressures from all angles. His parents have assured him of little help during marriage ceremony, but his self-reliant tendency has not acceded to their admonition. In my own perception about him, he is not ready to settle down for marriage as a result of his 'over ambition' in academic line: truly he is talented and I can beat my chest for him anyday anytime when it comes his discipline.

Without accommodation of his own at present, coupled with the need for marriage expenses and the need to further his education, should he consider settling for marriage in Lagos now?

As one of his closest friend, I decided to narrate this incidence on nairaland so that he can get first-hand-advice different from my own perspective because he is a kind of somebody that nobody can compel to do something unless he is personally and totally convinced, just like me.

This is a true life scenario: matured advice is needed. Thank God he is a nairalander too tongue tongue tongue

Your friend is ready. He should go ahead.
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by free2ryhme: 4:33pm On Jul 13, 2015
Aystarz:


U can lie oooo

Attention seeker
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by laudate: 4:37pm On Jul 13, 2015
free2ryhme:


He stays in osogbo and thinks the economy their is similar too lagos abi?

His 600' no reach 2 bedroom for a year for lagos oo

It depends on the location in Lagos, where he is renting the 2-bedroom. undecided

In some locations, he can rent a 2-bedroom for less than 600k. e.g. Lakowe in Lekki, Orile Iganmu, Mushin, Aguda, etc.
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Olufemiolaolu(m): 4:54pm On Jul 13, 2015
Ephemmm:


In consideration of the fact that he is living in Lagos where a mini-flat is 250 per year, do you think he will be able to sustain it with the payment of 500 for two years plus the agreement and commission of 100k? With newly secured accommodation, his saving will dry up within the twinkle of an eyes, honestly.
He cud relocate 2 ikd now. The houses dere re cheaper.
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by free2ryhme: 5:00pm On Jul 13, 2015
laudate:


It depends on the location in Lagos, where he is renting the 2-bedroom. undecided

In some locations, he can 2-bedroom for less than 600k. e.g. Lakowe in Lekki, Orile Iganmu, Mushin, Aguda, etc.

Aside lekki the rest are filled with dilapidated buildings and if the building is recent then u will pay more
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by simdam500(m): 5:10pm On Jul 13, 2015
I am just going to follow....


Just let him know, Whatever step he takes now determine his level of greatness in future... #peace
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by baba11(m): 5:11pm On Jul 13, 2015
Invest your money in short term business venture and marry next year..... the Lady too should be ready to be supportive!
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by olumide4christ: 5:20pm On Jul 13, 2015
deeobserver209:
It depends on whether he values marriage and family. Most times guys place high premium on carreer and academic pursuit to mariage. Eventually when they do get married, its just to fullfil all righteousness. No passion for living in the marriage nor raising a family. In the end, they end up bitter. Careers and individual financial success goals are great, but when valued more or placed higher on the ladder than marriage it becomes a problem.
Guys need to place high priority on marriage a bit more than their personal careers. It is the most important institution on earth. And as such, anyone who wishes for a happy married life must place high premium on it. Personaly will rather go for a highly successful marriage with a great family, than have a great career with disfunctional marriage and family.
Finally its not how much you have in your account, or how many properties you possess that determines whether a marriage succeeds. Lots of men got married with much less sums, in some cases virtualy nothing in their accounts. But they a living happily in their marriages. Its all about individual priorities about marriage.
The most important ingredient to a successful marriage is Commitment. Total commitment is a must if you intend to live a happy married life raising a wonderful family. Anyone who's not sure of his commitment to marriage should stay away from it. At least until he's mentally ready. But then, it all balls down to individual's value on marriage and family life.

BROS, You hit the nail on the head! Many men do not understand God's purpose of marriage (He is the author of marriage) and so many have missed it (made mistakes) big time and they regret it today!
When I proposed to my wife in 2009, I don't think I had up to N50k in my account because I had just gotten an accommodation of almost N500K (total package) about 2 months before, combined with the cost of relocation and buying some important things to the house. At the time, I was on a salary of just N80K per month.
But because I and my wife understood that money is not everything as far as marriage is concerned, she accepted my proposal and we went ahead to court for almost 2 years before getting married. My wife was doing some business at the time, though a graduate while I was in paid employment. And as God would bless us, we did our wedding which cost over N800k with some cash to spare, and by God's grace, 4 years on in the marriage, we haven't had to beg anybody for assistance. God has been sufficient. I am now self-employed, along with my wife.

So therefore, the OP's friend, based on my understanding and experience, is ready for marriage. All he needs to do is get an accommodation and work hard and trust God (if he is a Christian) to bless the works of his hands in order to have a wedding and get married.

I will also advise him that wedding should not be elaborate due to his financial situation, he should cut his cloth according to his size. I myself, if I were to do my wedding again, will not spend N800k on it because it simply isn't necessary.

All the best as you trust God to do it for you!

2 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Olufemiolaolu(m): 5:21pm On Jul 13, 2015
badboyphc:
I am 23 with 6.3M bank balance and I am not ready sef. I pity you. 600k. mtchew
Naa only empty barrel dey make noise. Who asked u how much dey ur account now. 4 Nairaland naa everybody dey live 4 manson & get Fat account. Yeye

2 Likes

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Fxwarrior: 5:21pm On Jul 13, 2015
devour129:
You guys have to learn that you don't need money to marry a wife ! Ask me why

Do your people dash out women? Okay why?
Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by Nobody: 5:27pm On Jul 13, 2015
Now, how long will u keep hustling to get there? two heads are better than one and u could break-even wen u get married...nothing like getting married young, it's d best...

1 Like

Re: With 600k, Should He Settle Down For Marriage At The Age Of 32? by blesoh(f): 5:29pm On Jul 13, 2015
rattlesnake:
Nope use the 600k to get more certification till 45
hmmmm @ 45 when will d kids come,when they are in d university,he will be above 80. Lol op go and marry,u re working.

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