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For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 9:10pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Good evening to both of you and kids. I stumbled on both threads and i just want to anakyze based on information in both for a better relationship. I pray you guys get together stronger. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 9:15pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
This is the husband freelance777: Dear Nairalander's |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 9:20pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Here is the wife's response: treese: Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 9:22pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Here is treese on another thread: treese: Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Time2Smile(m): 9:32pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Waiting for your comments @bukatyne I know you are typing. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 9:49pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
I am ggoing to apologise in advance that i will be harsh and say it exactly how i see it Thoughts: @freelance777: 1. You are very venegful. Here are examples... a. when you saw she was contacting her ex, you decided to sex chat a female friend of yours to get back at her. No accusations or dialogue.... b. you waited till you had issues as regards sex (good/bad) before you told her in disdain that you do not enjoy it because she is lax (even when she thought it was good). Such talk is not what you fling in the heat of disagreements.... you sit down and lovingly discuss it especially as she has told you about it pre-marriage. She even went far to give you anal? 2. You do not admit faults. examples: a. See the thread you opened; one would have thought you were saint freelance777; you never told us you retaliated when you saw her convo with her ex. 3. You were malicious. examples: a. Throwing of tantrums around the house when there were issues b. All the 'i saw the text and said nothing' etc. c. Your removing of ring whenever there are issues and your wedding ring caused it i.e. your wife caused your troubles even at work? Man, that 's super duper mean! 4. You both do not communicate and are clearly not on the same page. Deducted this from your wife's posts. 15 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 10:07pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
@treese... I am also going to apologize in advance because i am going to be harsh 1) You are a super duper unwise wife. That was the first thing that came to my mind. Examples: a. Your ex called you and you turned him to agony uncle. Of all the people in your life to complain to your husband about, it is your ex (whom you loved so much... why didn't you marry him?) b. You saw a guy in the estate and exchanged number bla bla... Do you think you are still single to be mingling anyhow? Do you know what it means to be married? ( I do not even encourage giving of numbers out (single or married) or you think this is desperate housewives sneario? Or babes do you want to change careers to estate management? c. He asked you to cook for him? Haba! Madam!! are you a also caterer or his wife have no relatives? If his family thinks he needed help, won't they have organized such for him? d. You did not protect your home. 2. You are not trustworthy a. Storing ex's number with code? b. Developing a kind of relationship that the 'estate agent' is ready to shag you when you are ready? He was not even afraid to have such convo with you c. Why did you ask your husband if he was okay with you cooking after you have done it? d. You removed your ring in the glove compartment because he doesn't wear his? Did you ever tell him? Why do I find it strange that you did not let him know you were paying him back? I would understand if you boboed him and removed the ring @ home and wore it when you were out of the home. What were you thinking? 3. You are not on the same page with your hubby and communicate on a different wavelength Did you ever communicate your hurts to him? You thought he enjoyed the sex? How? Was he pretending? 4. You are not emotionally matured. You do not think through the consequences of your actions... a. Storing ex's number with gibberish b. Playing mind games with hubby etc C. Doing anal? Heard of diseases I deducted all these from your hubby's posts 8 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 10:11pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Time2Smile: Done |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 10:15pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Solution: freelance777: 1. Learn the art of thrashing issues as they come. You saw her ex chats; Sit her down and ask what they meant etc. Marriage is not a game; you don't like A, B, C... voice out immediately. You having a ready contact to sex text with speaks volumes. 2. Learn the art of communication... sex is not good etc, create an avenue and discuss as lovers, as someone who cherish and love. 3. Learn to admit your faults broda, ask for forgiveness when wrong and forgive when apologized to 4. Do away completely with malice and hardness of heart. Your wife gave you anal because she wanted to spice things yet you threw it in her face. 5. Invest emotionally in your marriage 6. Be faithful 7. I apologize on behalf of your wife treese: 1. Pray for the spirit of Wisdom 2. Grow up 3. Do away with ex, estate agent etc, and learn how to invest on your marriage. If you have issues, know the right people to go to. You do not need the extra baggage of people around you. 4. Think before acting amd stop hanky panky games. And stop the anal biko 5. You need to prove to your husband you are worthy of his trust and loyal to him. It is going to be very hard work however, you will get there. 6. Be virtuous 7. I apologize on behalf of your husband God be with you both. 13 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Islie: 10:16pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Nobody: 10:28pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
On ma way to d seminary, celibate life is d surest cum best 1 Like |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 10:41pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS: With the right person, it is bliss. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Nobody: 11:07pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
bukatyne:In as much as d lady fckued up so much, I wld still blame d man for behaving like a cvnt. He shldnt ve given d lady d opportunity to f up, every lady has dat potential cum tendency to misbehave, it only takes one careless move by a man to trigger her. Thanks for ur help, I just hope dey blend soon. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 11:11pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
OREMUSSANCTUS: @bold: Not true I hope all is well in their home |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by elantraceey(f): 11:30pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
Ma'am I love you, chop kiss abeg But honestly that woman should pray for wisdom , she really needs it and I smell childishness all over her words even her husband's too, revenge , always crying, fear haba!! |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by cococandy(f): 11:38pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
I concur. Ride on bukatyne. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 11:46pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
elantraceey: Thanks |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 11:47pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
1 Like |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by zeb04(f): 11:50pm On Jul 13, 2015 |
how can you blame the woman for not communicating....didnt you read her story. these whole thing is very messed up. I cant even imagine having secx through the back door to please someone. I know marriage takes away some things,I didnt know it takes away common sense too. 6 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 12:11am On Jul 14, 2015 |
zeb04: I did and I got it from there. Hopefully, the wife will get her senses Back. Thanks for reminding me about the anal. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Kimoni: 1:49am On Jul 14, 2015 |
Treese post : Treese, pls let me apologize for quoting you on this thread. Buka, all the issues you highlighted above are mere symptoms, the real issue persist. The bolded is the main issue in my opinion. Freelance is feeling trapped in this marriage and he doesn't seem to love his wife anymore or maybe he never did like her gutfeel has rightly told her. When you are being forced to live with someone you don't love, everything the person does will irritate you, laughing or smiling with the person becomes an impossible task. I am only wondering why it took him several months and after the birth of 2 kids for him to realize he is not with the right person. Maybe he actually thought the love would grow sha. I don't even know how to advise them cuz where there is no love in one partner, where do you start dishing your advice from? Their issue reminds me of Prince Charles and Lady Di. I only pray they don't end up divorced like the royal couple. 8 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by cococandy(f): 2:13am On Jul 14, 2015 |
You're right. Kimoni: |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by DonTim1: 5:29am On Jul 14, 2015 |
It takes real love and true friendship to marry som1 who got preggers for u out of wedlock. Else you'll continually feel you deserve better and in worse case hate you spouse. Feelance didn't marry his friend, the initial gra gra of love in tokyo has weared of / n prolly he has seen or expeienced a want/like lacking in wifey elsewhr hence all this. Wife is also not matured enough mentally for marriage n yes dat dude freelance is still a wuss , not always taking respondsibility, how can you put a bad day at work on yor wife or ring? Just imagine employer with a bad start at home comes to work and fires employee claiming he/she was respondsible 2 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Time2Smile(m): 6:29am On Jul 14, 2015 |
You are all right. I was captivated while reading their stories a few days ago. Both of them are guilty of crass immaturity, more so the wife. But I get the feeling there is only one person trying to make this marriage work which is the wife, treese. Most of the actions of the husband which seems immature are just the action of a man tired of his marriage. It takes two to tango, Please Mr Freelance777 you need to accept this woman, love her, cherish her, guide her and am sure she will change some of her immature behaviour. 5 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Nobody: 7:11am On Jul 14, 2015 |
From all indications, they both tied the knot because the woman got pregnant out of wedlock... The man never really loved her going by all her posts... Imagine telling your wife on your wedding day not to give you trouble in your marriage, telling her that like twice.. On a wedding day that was supposed to be full of joy... This amongst other hurtful words he told her. You're accusing your wife of infidelity when you're sex chatting with female friends... You question her for not using her wedding ring when you don't wear yours at all? If wedding ring was such a big issue to you, then why don't you wear yours? I'm not trying to say marriage is do me I do you but man you're not a saint.. Then the woman is so naive, running to ex for succour... nawa ooo. You need to wise up and do away with those men biko.. you have your husband at home. That said, I think your marriage can be salvaged if you both learn to communicate well, you lack that openness husband and wife should possess.. I mean that togetherness and free mindedness. . You should also learn to be wise with words, anger doesn't give you the liberty to say hurtful words to your partner. Words said can never be taken back, learn to control yourself.. And yeah, BOTH of you have to be involved for things to work again..... All the best, I really wish your marriage can come back alive and better Nice analysis Buka 2 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by cococandy(f): 7:28am On Jul 14, 2015 |
I hope they both read the thread. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by troy20(m): 8:11am On Jul 14, 2015 |
if she really gave you anal then all her sins should be forgiven already. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by 5minsmadness: 9:12am On Jul 14, 2015 |
Islie:She did very well. I'm impressed! I still think she has a coconut head though |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by 5minsmadness: 9:15am On Jul 14, 2015 |
Bukatyne did they both deactivate? Are you in contact with the lady? I might have a solution for her. Kindly reply. Thanks. |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by Mutendiwashe(f): 10:07am On Jul 14, 2015 |
I said it on freelancer's thread that marriage is for matured people and i was told i have a low self esteem Marriage is for better for worse, if cooking for for a guy who is helping your brother-in-law get a job will even make you consider parting ways with her it means you got married blindfolded. The wife instead of cooking for the guy could have just taken groceries to help the guy and maybe have someone else cook for him just to show her appreciation. Sometimes your kindness can be seen for something else by others, always make sure you do things that will not cause your partner to mistrust you. So the husband was the one having sex chats with his ex and his guilt got him worried that his wife could be doing the same. I had a feeling thats really what was going on. Turns out thats the case. If you are fighting over the most stupid things on the planet that can be fixed you will not survive those that actually cannot be changed. If the wife can visit the doctor and maybe see what kind of exercises, medication or surgeries she can do to get her tightness back that could help their sex life. Sex has a special way of binding 2 people closer than ever. The husband needs to grow up and stop acting like he is 5yrs old, leave that for your 2 children. You are the head of the family, leadership comes with responsibilities not headaches. Learn to communicate effectively with your wife. If she does something you dont like or appreciate you set boundaries that you both adhere to to keep your marriage. You married her for a reason. She is your partner not your enemy. 2 Likes |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by bukatyne(f): 11:22am On Jul 14, 2015 |
5minsmadness: I don't know if they have deactivated I am also not in contact with anyone of them |
Re: For Freelance777 And Treese by tunde1200(m): 11:38am On Jul 14, 2015 |
exactly bukatyne: |
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