Note, This story is not to abuse any Man of God. Just as Pastor Chris Oyakhilomhe has said that we should stop abusing men of God or making jokes of them... Though part of this story is true but enjoy and be entertained and moderate your comments.... Thanks


I sat je-jely on my desk when a friend of mine came to invite me for their church program taking place the upper week. Well, I accepted the flier she gave to me. Looking at the flier sef, the promo shots and
the pastor that would be ministering. The theme of the Program was “Power must change hands. May thunder strike that my uncle in the village.” As I looked at it again, I hissed. The theme alone had turned me off. I didn’t even bother to even look at it again. I dropped the flier at a corner in my office.
Few days later, my friend came again to remind me of their church program which would take place that day. I told him plainly I wasn’t going to come. He started convincing me, telling me how the guest minister that would be coming, he would be coming with great anointing, fire and thunder. “Thunder keh! Who he wan strike?” I asked. “To strike your uncle in the village ofcourse,” she said. Chineke mehhhh. Chukwu Abiama. Which my uncle for village this girl want make thunder striker! My only surviving uncle that is in Otueke. He sponsored my education from secondary school to university in London. He has been there for me, na im this lady want make thunder kill. Na so me para for her oo. That why should thunder strike my uncle. “You never can tell, he might be the one behind your problems,” she said. Did I tell this girl that I was having any problem! I told her that I don’t have any problems that I should be going for deliverance. She started telling me how the pastor has done so many miracles. How he made a woman who was purging to stop. I was expecting her to still tell me that he divided river Niger. But she was telling how pigeon ran out of a woman’s anus in the man of God’s crusades, and how a man vomited 14 live snakes. I told her not to even waste her time convincing me because I wasn’t coming. The poster alone, looking at it sef might even damage the eye sight. With the image of a woman carrying 2 bags of cement and a male dwarf holding a battle axe and a bazooka. Who do they want to kill! Finally my good female friend left me since she saw that she couldn’t convince me to come. And thank God that day, we were given half day at the office so we closed by 1pm. After closing, I went home, took my shower and slept off. When I woke up, it was some few minutes pass 4pm. I brought out my laptop to work some important things my boss gave to me to do. I discovered that the assignment was on the flash drive I gave to my friend who invited me to their church program. And I needed to submit it to my boss the next morning. I called that my colleague and she told me she was at their church program and she has not gotten home, so the flash is with her at the place. Well I decided to go their church to get the flash drive. I got to there church and the crowd there was massive. I called her again, telling her to come out with the flash. She refused ooo. She said I should come inside to meet her. Una come see me see wahala oooo. How would I locate her inside the crowded auditorium? I was so angry in my spirit. Apparently, she wants to force me into the program. I waited and called until he sent one of the ushers to come into the church and collect it and if am not ready to, I should wait till the end of the service. I thought about it, since this lady was trying to make me enter for the program, due to what I needed the flash to do, I just had to finally follow the last usher that talked with me, and we entered the church. I thought I would just go in, she gives me the flash and I walk away. Only for the usher to take me to the extreme front seat were this my female colleague was seated comfortably with her baby and her husband. There was an empty seat beside them which she placed her baby. She had to carry her baby and told me to seat there. I greeted the husband. The invited man of God had already started his message and we were directly facing the alter and pastors. It just looked as if they were looking at me. I whispered into my colleague’s ear, telling her to give me the flash drive. But she became adamant, telling me to wait till after the service. That is it, which was what she wanted. To drag me to their program and she succeeded successfully. I was so pained but I kept my cool as the
pastor preached. The pastor came down from the pulpit. He moved from one part to the other in the congregation telling members to stand up and he would prophesy into their lives and still tell them to give him a huge amount of money before the prophesy can come to pass then he would tell them to sit. He got to where we were, by then my colleague had already given her husband beside her their baby to hold and nurse. The man of God came to our direction, looked at me and looked at my colleague’s husband and said that their baby he was carrying is going to be a great man, he will kill thousands of lions. Na so I look my colleague look her husband because the last time I checked, it’s a baby girl and not a boy how come he turned to man were pastor is. My colleague’s husband told the pastor that it’s a baby girl and not a boy. But the pastor said it doesn’t matter, she is a girl but he is seeing a man. For my mind, I hoped that the baby won’t turn to transgender when she grows up. Abi na wetin the pastor mean! Before I knew what was happening, invited man of God went to my colleague and said. “Young lady, God has already dried your tears, you have been lifted.” As he was saying it, you need to see how my colleague just knelt down and lifted up her hands up high and was shouting “Amen.” The man of God laid his right hand on my colleagues head and broke the bombshell, saying “God will give you your own husband.” He said it and moved to another person. Na so I turn look my colleague husband for face. Which kind talk be that one. The last time I checked, God is not an author of confusion. She is already married and her husband was by her side and he was still saying that God would give her husband. Abi
he wan kill him husband marry another person? How would that happen? Many people in the church were just looking, frowning and murmuring because of the Man of God’s words. And so many people were even enjoying the man of God’s so called prophesies. Some were coming to drop money on the alter. “Ride on Pastor,” were the main words. The man of God asked everyone to stand up and began laying hands on people. One thing I notice was that he would put his hand on people’s head. He would bend their head and be pushing them till they fell. He touched my colleague and quickly she was on the floor as if it was staged (maybe it was). He got to me and laid his hand on me and began pushing my head down, so it would make me weak and lose stamina, which would make me to fall. Na so I talk say “the devil is a liar. Lai lai, I no go fall.” I regained my stamina and held myself firmly as he pushed me to fall. But I refused to fall. The man of God removed the microphone from hi mouth and was whispered into my ears saying, “release yourself. Why don’t you release yourself for me to pray for you.” After saying that, he placed his hand on my head again and bending it, trying to make me fall. me sef no gree. He removed the microphone from his mouth and said in a low tone that I was stubborn and he wasn’t going to pray for me again since I don’t want to release myself. He thought I would be part of those he will just lay hands on and I will just fall yakata for ground. Lai lai. I watched as he murmured “I will not pray for you if you don’t want to release yourself.” As if he is God or I depended on his prayers or maybe he thought himself to be so powerful that his prayers would move mountain. I watched as he moved to the next person. One touch and the person was on the ground and when they are not, he bends their head downwards, pushing them to the ground. I still remained calm. If not for the flash drive I wanted, I wouldn’t have come in. The man of God asked everyone to deep their hands into their pockets and bring out the lowest and highest denomination of currency they have. So many people brought out N1000 and N5. And he told them to pray into the money. Me sef no bother to bring out any money. I sat down je-jely on the chair. “Are you not doing what the pastor said?” my colleague asked me. I told her I wasn’t interested. The man of God said they should pray that God should not be giving them low denomination but only high denomination of currency. After prayers, the man of God told them to tear the low denomination they have, and as they are tearing it, they are tearing sorrows and small money out of their lives. They will only be receiving big money. And all began tearing the low denominations they have. My colleague saw that I wasn’t doing anything with them. She brought out N1000 and N10 notes and gave to me. I willingly collected it from her. I tore the N10 note. And then the man of God told the ushers to pass offering boxes around and told everyone to drop their N1000 notes inside the offering boxes being passed round. And I turned around and saw people dropping. The whole congregation
would be more than 3,000 people. When it got to my turn, I didn’t even bother to drop my N1000, I quickly put the thing inside my pocket. After the service, I collected the flash drive and went my home safely.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/1022-my-hillarious-and-wierd-encounter-with-a-pastor-in-my-friend-s-church

fiction right?

Many 'pastors' tend to wanna imitate true men of God like say na magic.
I've attended a program where the MOG was literally pushing people to the ground. I pity my padi wey jam im head for the edge of speaker..lol

How can he prophesy a married woman would get her husband soon.
Might be fiction tho...i know these things happen.

Above all, may God give us a discerning spirit. Personally, if am nt comfortable with a church service or gathering, na to exit b dat.

Nice one Onismate.

stori is teeew loong
juss lyk ma slioooong

toluine56:
Many 'pastors' tend to wanna imitate true men of God like say na magic.
I've attended a program where the MOG was literally pushing people to the ground. I pity my padi wey jam im head for the edge of speaker..lol

How can he prophesy a married woman would get her husband soon.
Might be fiction tho...i know these things happen.

Above all, may God give us a discerning spirit. Personally, if am nt comfortable with a church service or gathering, na to exit b dat.

Nice one Onismate.

that part is not fiction, its real! damn real...

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onismate:
that part is not fiction, its real! damn real...

Lol...crazy then.
This thread kindly needs FP attention
Cc : lalasticlala

If God decide to publish your secret life I think the next you will do is jump into the lagoons... It's unhealthy as a Christain..