defendedvictim:
Forgiveness is possible...but forgetting? Dats anoda thing entirely; esp wen my brain is still active. Forgiveness is possible wen u understand dat humans wil always falter n make wrong decisions at one point or d other. Learn to give excuses for anoda person's fault; view things Frm Dia point of view n u might realize dat u wud v done worse.
Finally, if u haven't learnt Hw to forgive, u have no business being in a serious relationship because there wil always be offences; cheating is not an unpardonable offence. Its bad but , u both can still build a good relationship if u decide to. Na ur hand e dey

Which good relationship is she building with a cheat?
You talk about cheating like it's in the same class as faults like biting one's fingers. Where's the relationship worth fighting for here, cos I don't see any. *crickets chirping*

I know a male flirt who gave his beautiful and amiable wife hiv. I'm not trying to instill fear here...ish, but what the op needs to do at this point is to forgive AND FORGET that guy, to avoid such stories that touch in the future.

All the faithful men in the world are not dead. By God's grace, she will find one.

cc: Rajjah

Rajjah:
lol

You Hausa

Seem everyone here wants you to break up woth the guy



Maybe you should listen to them




But to all you special advisers, may your guy break up with you all if you dare flirt with another guy


Amen

Gaborone:



Which good relationship is she building with a cheat?
You talk about cheating like it's in the same class as faults like biting one's fingers. Where's the relationship worth fighting for here, cos I don't see any. *crickets chirping*

I know a male flirt who gave his beautiful and amiable wife hiv. I'm not trying to instill fear here...ish, but what the op needs to do at this point is to forgive AND FORGET that guy, to avoid such stories that touch in the future.

All the faithful men in the world are not dead. By God's grace, she will find one.

cc: Rajjah

Ameen. I wil have to end it al n wait for my future man. Can never be with a cheat.

Phinalphantasy:
I'll tell u a story...will make it as short as possible..was dating a chic...wasn't serious with her...n I was open abt it. had other chics...I was in a period where I couldn't fall in love and couldnt be tied down....cos of my unseriousness she started seeing another guy..d day she used him as dp and I read their chat and found she's been to his house and said I love you to him, I told her never to come to my house again. i pushed her off...She begged heaven and earth that nothing happened. that she just wanted my attention .In my mind it had already happened.in my world if my girl so much as looked at another guy, she's a goner. my mind was that made. I was fine and rich by d way so whatnever knew I would be shocked ..well,After several girls of trying to find the right one, I did. ..she was an angel...perfect...soul mate. ..but guess what? she did some tin with her ex...yes, d tin!!!!!ohhh....my new found angel,soul mate. ..blah blah blah...what would I do? What did I now do? in my most bewildering moments ever, I 4gave her without asking....why did I do this to her and to the other girl?....lemme tell you the truth...you will never understand...no one will...y?cos u never wore the shoe...I did...still do...happens to be the best decision of my life...even if I tell you that my angel was in a 4 years relationship of abuse before I came along and she was still attached to d guy and d guy told her to just try and spend d nite with him, all d feelings will come back? was that enough reason to forgive?nooo....even if I say my angel had d most sacrificing heart I ever saw?WAS that reason to forgive? nooo . even if i say she came herself to cry and tell me what happened herself?..I forgave cos I saw the future with her type. .her persona. ..her goodness.ssomeone who would be my best friend..who had an open heart. The best ever.yet even this I tell u you can never understand...Only I can understand what I saw in her..and what I saw in the first girls, whose love was surface and superficial..

tell yourself the truth...Only you will know...people will advice u..fine...but you wear d shoe...throw it away if it has no future ..keep it if it still does have a future. ..and bear d consequences of your decision...

sorry..tried to summarize...didn't work

m so confused n crying.. I want to fgiv bt I cant

Rajjah:
I dont do WhatsApp. Pls advice.

lol

MRBrownJ:


you should never accept such disrespectful act, and instead you should look for a man that will value you the RIGHT way. forgiving a cheating man is just another way of telling him that its ok and he can do it again because you are a weak person.

at least, have some respect for yourself, even if he doesnt have any for you.

abi o

Rajjah:
m so confused n crying.. I want to fgiv bt I cant

Confused? No...broken? Yes...don't know what to do? You do dearie. But you must tell your self.do what you must. Just make sure it favors u..

Phinalphantasy:

Confused? No...broken? Yes...don't know what to do? You do dearie. But you must tell your self.do what you must. Just make sure it favors u..

I wanted sending u a PM . Want to talk privately with u

Rajjah, lemme ask u something, he cheated and begged u? What of the person that cheats and doesn't beg u, instead she broke up with the guy she cheated on you with and went for another guy, huh how u gonna do that? Na em be say na kill u go kill this one be that.

My own case is something else, tho I decided to be calm, eat and get fat about it, I love this girl, but she takes me as a complete idiot, but what happens, I still forgave her. She just day live her life day change man as she like, while I sit and plan my life, some folks here may say am stup*id, but even at that, I still try to be nice no matter the circumstances, her family even quarrel with her because of me.

Clear the air, clear your mind. leave it to to God.

Rajjah:
I wanted sending u a PM . Want to talk privately with u

Check your mail...I replied u and accepted the cxn

Gaborone:



Which good relationship is she building with a cheat?
You talk about cheating like it's in the same class as faults like biting one's fingers. Where's the relationship worth fighting for here, cos I don't see any. *crickets chirping*

I know a male flirt who gave his beautiful and amiable wife hiv. I'm not trying to instill fear here...ish, but what the op needs to do at this point is to forgive AND FORGET that guy, to avoid such stories that touch in the future.

All the faithful men in the world are not dead. By God's grace, she will find one.

cc: Rajjah

well, I get ur point; but its Nt Lyk cheating is ingrained in d guy's system. He can still learn to control himself, its Nt Lyk they r married already. Also, we only heard her side of d story...so its easy to see d op as d perfect bride. If u followed her previous thread, U'd realise she cheated on d guy at some point. We can be a lil more objective with our judgement

Rajjah:
ooooh *crying *

still crying? Do wat u must o. U knw whr ur heart lies

defendedvictim:
well, I get ur point; but its Nt Lyk cheating is ingrained in d guy's system. He can still learn to control himself, its Nt Lyk they r married already. Also, we only heard her side of d story...so its easy to see d op as d perfect bride. If u followed her previous thread, U'd realise she cheated on d guy at some point. We can be a lil more objective with our judgement

It wasnt really cheating bt dont kno hw to interpret it. I did nothin wit d guy. Twas at a point I felt a distance in my rltnshp so I gave my guy space n wantd giving d oda guy a chance. Wit d way I was acting, d oda guy concluded I had acceptd bt my heart was, is n wil always be with my fiance. Hop u undstnd nw.

Well at poster, i wouldnt say i feel ur pain cos ve neva bin in ur shoes. But one thing i can deduce from ur comments so far is that u still love dat guy dat is why u hurts u d more everyday, everytime u remember his shortcomings. U said u can’t forgive him but u and i knw that there is a big diff btw u cant and u wont. But i implore u, be it as it may, since he has asked for ur forgiveness, pls try, i knw that it is very difficult to do that but, pls find a place even if is the smallest portion of heart nd forgive him and give him benefit of doubt.

But if u feel u wont ever forgive him, u guys can go ur seperate ways nd u try nd stop shedding tears. Gracias

teddybear007:
Well at poster, i wouldnt say i feel ur pain cos ve neva bin in ur shoes. But one thing i can deduce from ur comments so far is that u still love dat guy dat is why u hurts u d more everyday, everytime u remember his shortcomings. U said u can’t forgive him but u and i knw that there is a big diff btw u cant and u wont. But i implore u, be it as it may, since he has asked for ur forgiveness, pls try, i knw that it is very difficult to do that but, pls find a place even if is the smallest portion of heart nd forgive him and give him benefit of doubt.

But if u feel u wont ever forgive him, u guys can go ur seperate ways nd u try nd stop shedding tears. Gracias

thanx alot dear