itsMrIke:
OP, the ony reason you can create such a nonsensical thread is because divorce in Nigeria is not as common or reasonably effective as it is in other countries.

Just read the balderdash you wrote... So a woman should sit at home quietly and accord a cheating husband all his privileges Why are painting us men to be such insipid 1diots

If it were developed countries were divorce is an expensive endeavour for the man, you won't spew such thrash. Cos after divorce (especially when infidelity is involved) the man loses half of everything he has, he leaves his house for the woman and her kids, he then pays her alimony and child support. Trust me the wife won't mind his side chick moving in with him, since she will be taken care of...


Abeg OP stop preaching this nonsense and grow up

Na u make sense die, cos i wondering why a learned person could think like this in dis 21st century. Indeed some of us needs alot of growing to do. As for d Op, let me reserve my comment cos na dis kind topic they bring out the madness in me. Gracias.

I have no words for the insipidity of the op's post.

shaybebaby:
I have no words for the insipidity of the op's post.

Exactly. Then it's these same idiots that wonder why their marriage did not work. They blame the women for everything that goes wrong not knowing they are to blame. I remember he made a thread/comment about his ex wife /wife leaving him and now I am beginning to understand there is more to the story then what he made it out to be.

I wouldn't take advice or anything he has to say seriously. A grown ass man with such mentality smdh. Thank God for men like Jaybee and Edoman

Toks2008:



Now let me blow the mind of you and everyone reading this.

I belive we all can see how quick people bring in the bible to buttress funny point.THERE WAS NO WHERE THE BIBLE ASKED A WOMAN TO DIVORCE HER HUSBAND BASED ON SEXUAL INFIDELITY.

Many people say Bible is usually bi gender in the use of he and when he is used it also applies to she but in this very passage where Jesus himself gave instructions, he was gender specific so let read it together.

Mathew 5:31-32
"It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; 32but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Please quote one place in the bible that instructs women to divorce their husbands based on sexual unfaithfulness and we will take it from there.

Obviously you never read the write up very well else you wont even mention divorce except you want to remain celibate for life because no guaranty that the next m,an wont also cheat on you that is if you dont end up committing same adultery with a married man who are readily available for female divorcees.

Men will be men oh... and see only part of the bible that suits them

Mark 10:10-12 New International Version (NIV)

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Lol...

ProudEdoMan:
Op I have been married for 10 years.  While you have raised a lot of valid points I strongly believe no one should go into a marriage with such mentality. Those who still want to play the field and believe that they cannot be faithful because they have a 'penis' should not get married because there will be no point to it.

Nobody should tolerate cheating. If you as a man would not be happy or tolerate your woman cheating on you then why should you expect a woman to do the same. That is being a hypocrite.

I have been married for 10 years and been with my wife for 12 years and I have never cheated on her and I will never cheat on her(even though my wife is still sexy even after 2 kids) having a few min of pleasure is not worth losing my marriage imo. The problem today is that a lot of immature people are getting married not knowing that it takes two people to make marriage work. Women cheat these days perhaps even more than men so it's not just a one sided thing.


It also depends on the type of woman in question, usually the women who are highly dependent on the man for their basic needs will most likely stay in such a marriage since they have no where else to go.

However there are women like my wife(She is educated and financially independent) who don't need a man to survive will be less inclined to accept such behavior and if she had to divorce me because of infidelity than I would not blame her.

We need to move away from women should do this and men should do that mentality. Personally I won't do anything that I would not like my wife to do to me.

Pls help me explain more to this Op cos am seriously loosing my cool, and it wont be funny if i do. Gracias.

This post is just another attempt to push the woman under the rug...

Well, I guess if your only goal in life is to get married then the advise is for you.

Now Mr op, for how long are the women meant not care? 2-10years maybe? Or if God gives her say 50 more years, she's just meant to stay there and answer "Mrs" as her only achievement

Hope you know there's more to life than marriage? You're right in saying a woman's happiness should not be hung on a cheating husband but let me add that it should not be hung on the marriage either.

Now, I believe in the institution of marriage and will never advise anyone to get a divorce(before someone will blame you for their unhappiness). But then, no one is worth the headache because there is no way on this earth you won't know when your spouse is cheating and there is NO WAY you WON'T CARE. Even those who claim they're in an "open marriage".

Men have feelings, women do too, like I said in some thread, we don't have special coolants in our brains that helps us forgive. The same way you hurt when you know your wife cheated is same way she would too.

So,as a Christian, fear God, love your wife and respect your home.

Adaeze003:


Men will be men oh... and see only part of the bible that suits them

Mark 10:10-12 New International Version (NIV)

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Lol...

Gehn gehn! oya make you counter am from the Bible nah.

Women are very funny but GOD in his infinite wisdom knew the intricacies behind marriage and thats why he does not allow marriage in heaven lol!

There is no place in the Bible where it was instructed for a lady to divorce her husband based on sexual infidelity or polygamous tendency because even the great men in the bible were polygamous talking about Abraham,David and even solomon.

Some times when i write deep articles on marriage and relationship, the teenagers and young ladies who are yet to understand life will usually come for my head but the matured ones and our mother wil nod and say THIS IS THE TRUTH.

So whether you ladies who are abusing me now take it or you will remember this article latter because trust my word,95% of men will cheat on their wives before 5years of marriage and if your hubby remains faithful to you then you are among the hundreds of thousands of fortunate lady who make up the 5% of global population.

Crazy enough even myself writing this have never cheated on any lady i have ever been with but i have tried to look among all the friends i ever had and i hardly found any who have not at one point in their marriage had a one night stand.

But i repeat that before anyone makes comment after this very post im making,please and please read my write up very well,assimilate before you comment.

T3Amo:
Exactly. Then it's these same idiots that wonder why their marriage did not work. They blame the women for everything that goes wrong not knowing they are to blame. I remember he made a thread/comment about his ex wife /wife leaving him and now I am beginning to understand there is more to the story then what he made it out to be.

I wouldn't take advice or anything he has to say seriously. A grown ass man with such mentality smdh. Thank God for men like Jaybee and Edoman

There are good men out there who don't believe in this rubbish he is spouting. If he doesn't understand just how foolish he sounds, I suggest he crosses out man/ husband and substitute it woman in everyplace and do the the same where he has typed woman/ wife and read it back.

Toks2008:


Gehn gehn! oya make you counter am from the Bible nah.

Women are very funny but GOD in his infinite wisdom knew the intricacies behind marriage and thats why he does not allow marriage in heaven lol!

There is no place in the Bible where it was instructed for a lady to divorce her husband based on sexual infidelity or polygamous tendency because even the great men in the bible were polygamous talking about Abraham,David and even solomon.

Some times when i write deep articles on marriage and relationship, the teenagers and young ladies who are yet to understand life will usually come for my head but the matured ones and our mother wil nod and say THIS IS THE TRUTH.

So whether you ladies who are abusing me now take it or you will remember this article latter because trust my word,95% of men will cheat on their wives before 5years of marriage and if your hubby remains faithful to you then you are among the hundreds of thousands of fortunate lady who make up the 5% of global population.

Crazy enough even myself writing this have never cheated on any lady i have ever been with but i have tried to look among all the friends i ever had and i hardly found any who have not at one point in their marriage had a one night stand.

But i repeat that before anyone makes comment after this very post im making,please and please read my write up very well,assimilate before you comment.

What, are you saying you're a unicorn?? You know, if this was coming from one of your "friends", it would at least make a world of sense as far as your stance is concerned. Not this "Don't look at me, I'm a unicorn, but you know those other men.. BS you're spewing. Fess up, OP...

Its no secret that many people, probably most, are prone to cheating. What's interesting here is your slant to it.

Adaeze003:
This post is just another attempt to push the woman under the rug...

Well, I guess if your only goal in life is to get married then the advise is for you.

Now Mr op, for how long are the women meant not care? 2-10years maybe? Or if God gives her say 50 more years, she's just meant to stay there and answer "Mrs" as her only achievement

Hope you know there's more to life than marriage? You're right in saying a woman's happiness should not be hung on a cheating husband but let me add that it should not be hung on the marriage either.

Now, I believe in the institution of marriage and will never advise anyone to get a divorce(before someone will blame you for their unhappiness). But then, no one is worth the headache because there is no way on this earth you won't know when your spouse is cheating and there is NO WAY you WON'T CARE. Even those who claim they're in an "open marriage".

Men have feelings, women do too, like I said in some thread, we don't have special coolants in our brains that helps us forgive. The same way you hurt when you know your wife cheated is same way she would too.

So,as a Christian, fear God, love your wife and respect your home.

You have just nailed it.

In my 4 decades of existence i have seen so much in life and asking ladies to accept the unfaithfulness of men as the norm is crazy and idiotic but this is the truth.

Its like we men not wanting to accept the complexity of women and does it mean we will not treat our women very well even when we now they can throw your love at your face. Will any man contest the fact that 95% of women can never be understood or will any reasonable man start boasting that his woman can never leave him or strangely enough will any matured and reasonable man contest the fact that a woman who has a child for you can stil kill you?

There are some facts of life about ladies that we men must live with or stay single and this simple fact that pertains to men is that most men will cheat on you even if you are the best woman on earth or the most sexy,this is complex to understand and that is why the earlier any lady understands and prepare for this fact the better it wil be for her. I can't stress this enough.

shaybebaby:

There are good men out there who don't believe in this rubbish he is spouting. If he doesn't understand just how foolish he sounds, I suggest he crosses out man/ husband and substitute it woman in everyplace and do the the same where he has typed woman/ wife and read it back.

I will always advice posters on social media to desist from using low life words.No matter how crazy a contrary opinion sounds,it still remains an opinion that must be respected and if you have a contrary one please articulate in a decent manner.

To think that what you wrote was pointed out in my write up but maybe you refused to read and you are here making a mockery of yourself.

Read again and you will see that i stated clearly that not all men cheat and me inclusive. Please lets learn to be poised and decent in the way we express ourselves.

I have met countless women who will waste no time to say "my husband is different or my guy wil never cheat on me" just to realize sooner how myopic they are.

I repeat again,there are guys that will not cheat on their women but also the fcat remains that 95% if not more will cheat on their wives at least once in their marital life and while some are lucky to get away with it,the other ones that are caught are the stories we hear.

Toks2008:


You have just nailed it.

In my 4 decades of existence i have seen so much in life and asking ladies to accept the unfaithfulness of men as the norm is crazy and idiotic but this is the truth.

Its like we men not wanting to accept the complexity of women and does it mean we will not treat our women very well even when we now they can throw your love at your face. Will any man contest the fact that 95% of women can never be understood or will any reasonable man start boasting that his woman can never leave him or strangely enough will any matured and reasonable man contest the fact that a woman who has a child for you can stil kill you?

There are some facts of life about ladies that we men must live with or stay single and this simple fact that pertains to men is that most men will cheat on you even if you are the best woman on earth or the most sexy,this is complex to understand and that is why the earlier any lady understands and prepare for this fact the better it wil be for her. I can't stress this enough.

Have you even paused for a few seconds to understand why some women stay in loveless marriages?

Majority are clouded and guided by the holy books which didn't take 21st century challenges into consideration when it was written
Some do so because they simply have no choice as they've had to rely on their spouses for all basic amenities
Some do so because of stigma and the fear of the unknown
We don't have strict family laws in Nigeria hence the reason why men are able to lord over their wives and get away with murder time and time again

It's very wrong to advice women to accept bad marital vices just because it's common practice even though it's always going to be at their own detriment.

You need to educate them that their success and happiness should never be tied to any man. They need to be strong willed, empowered and understand marriage isn't necessarily the ultimate success

Toks2008:


You have just nailed it.

In my 4 decades of existence i have seen so much in life and asking ladies to accept the unfaithfulness of men as the norm is crazy and idiotic but this is the truth.

Its like we men not wanting to accept the complexity of women and does it mean we will not treat our women very well even when we now they can throw your love at your face. Will any man contest the fact that 95% of women can never be understood or will any reasonable man start boasting that his woman can never leave him or strangely enough will any matured and reasonable man contest the fact that a woman who has a child for you can stil kill you?

There are some facts of life about ladies that we men must live with or stay single and this simple fact that pertains to men is that most men will cheat on you even if you are the best woman on earth or the most sexy,this is complex to understand and that is why the earlier any lady understands and prepare for this fact the better it wil be for her. I can't stress this enough.

This is ridiculous. I believe that you've cheated and will continue to do so and this is just a pathetic attempt at justifying your actions. You're using the word of your so called God as an excuse to be a literal piece of_shiit. Pathetic to the nth degree.

"it's like we men not wanting to accept the complexities of women "

This is your argument? Both men and women are complex creatures. Wtf does that have to do with infidelity/unfaithfulness?

Now you're trying to act like the people who disagree with you lack reading comprehension skills. SMDH!!

jaybee3:


Have you even paused for a few seconds to understand why some women stay in loveless marriages?

Majority are clouded and guided by the holy books which didn't take 21st century challenges into consideration when it was written
Some do so because they simply have no choice as they've had to rely on their spouses for all basic amenities
Some do so because of stigma and the fear of the unknown
We don't have strict family laws in Nigeria hence the reason why men are able to lord over their wives and get away with murder time and time again

It's very wrong to advice women to accept bad marital vices just because it's common practice even though it's always going to be at their own detriment.

You need to educate them that their success and happiness should never be tied to any man. They need to be strong willed, empowered and understand marriage isn't necessarily the ultimate success

Bless you sir!

jaybee3:


Have you even paused for a few seconds to understand why some women stay in loveless marriages?

Majority are clouded and guided by the holy books which didn't take 21st century challenges into consideration when it was written
Some do so because they simply have no choice as they've had to rely on their spouses for all basic amenities
Some do so because of stigma and the fear of the unknown
We don't have strict family laws in Nigeria hence the reason why men are able to lord over their wives and get away with murder time and time again

It's very wrong to advice women to accept bad marital vices just because it's common practice even though it's always going to be at their own detriment.

You need to educate them that their success and happiness should never be tied to any man. They need to be strong willed, empowered and understand marriage isn't necessarily the ultimate success

And is the bold part not what my article is all about?

You people will never take time to read and comprehend.

SouffleX:


This is ridiculous. I believe that you've cheated and will continue to do so and this is just a pathetic attempt at justifying your actions. You're using the word of your so called God as an excuse to be a literal piece of_shiit. Pathetic to the nth degree.

"it's like we men not wanting to accept the complexities of women "

This is your argument? Both men and women are complex creatures. Wtf does that have to do with infidelity/unfaithfulness?

Now you're trying to act like the people who disagree with you lack reading comprehension skills. SMDH!!

ROTFL!

I dont even know how it feels to cheat on a lady because i usually go for a lady that will be sexually dope to my appetite hence no need to cheat on her and this is why when i tell fellow guys that i have been with a lady for 12years without cheating on her they open their mouth in disbelief.

Dear this is not about me,but its about a fact that you either accept and pray that your man is not among the cheaters.Vehementing your anger will not change the fact that if Jesus tarries,there will be another morning tomorrow tantamount to saying most men will cheat on their ladies even if she is the sexiest woman alive.

My point is clear,Don't hinge your happiness on your guy's fidelity to you,accept that fact or be ready to cry should you be disappointed.

Toks2008:
Maybe i should say before anyone condemns this write up,let the person be married for at least 5years.

And if you are unmarried and have never dated a man for over 3years please ddont bother condemning this write up.

And if you dont belong to the categories abovwe please go present this topic to a married lady of over 5years then come back to comment.

This is not a thread for teenages or ladies who have little experience in courting a man.

With this, you have just proven how much of a misogynist you are.

So your sister is in a ridiculous sham of a marriage, and is too weak to leave, so you think other people should do same What a mor0n!!!

I am beginning to think your father was a philandering a-hole while your mum was a hopeless weakling who couldn't do anything about the marriage, hence the stance of you and your sister.

So, yeah, I feel sorry for you

ProudEdoMan:
Op I have been married for 10 years.  While you have raised a lot of valid points I strongly believe no one should go into a marriage with such mentality. Those who still want to play the field and believe that they cannot be faithful because they have a 'penis' should not get married because there will be no point to it.

Nobody should tolerate cheating. If you as a man would not be happy or tolerate your woman cheating on you then why should you expect a woman to do the same. That is being a hypocrite.

I have been married for 10 years and been with my wife for 12 years and I have never cheated on her and I will never cheat on her(even though my wife is still sexy even after 2 kids) having a few min of pleasure is not worth losing my marriage imo. The problem today is that a lot of immature people are getting married not knowing that it takes two people to make marriage work. Women cheat these days perhaps even more than men so it's not just a one sided thing.


It also depends on the type of woman in question, usually the women who are highly dependent on the man for their basic needs will most likely stay in such a marriage since they have no where else to go.

However there are women like my wife(She is educated and financially independent) who don't need a man to survive will be less inclined to accept such behavior and if she had to divorce me because of infidelity than I would not blame her.

We need to move away from women should do this and men should do that mentality. Personally I won't do anything that I would not like my wife to do to me.

Thank you Mr.

With this post, the women here will know that not all men are as id1otic as the OP...

itsMrIke:



With this, you have just proven how much of a misogynist you are.

So your sister is in a ridiculous sham of a marriage, and is too weak to leave, so you think other people should do same What a mor0n!!!

I am beginning to think your father was a philandering a-hole while your mum was a hopeless weakling who couldn't do anything about the marriage, hence the stance of you and your sister.

So, yeah, I feel sorry for you

Can't you articulate your views without been childishly abusive and vulgar?

I have met countless seasoned and intellectually decent Igbo guys but if this myth is true that some igbo guys who seem to be fortunate to have the required education to read and write are usually arrogant,abusive,proud and completely mentally disoriented i think you should pass for one provided that ike is what i think it is.

Sorry bro,im too intellectually sound to rub myself in the mud with you.

I only pity those who contributed money to give you some education thinking they are doing you a great good but apparently you are a waste and strangely enough i can bet anything on it that you must be one hell of a philanderer regardless of the hypocritical impression you are creating here.

I promise not to reply to you again.

Toks2008:


I will excuse your unwarranted sarcasm and needless vulgarity.

But before i respond intelligently i will ask you two simple questions.

How old are you or whats your age bracket?

Are you married and if yes for how long?

waiting

I simply can't stop laughing after reading this.... DAMN!!!

Toks2008:



Honestly i can"t stop shaking my head when i read some comments here.

First i want to introduce myself once again for those who are wondering.I am Olatokunbo Olabode Akorede,a business consultant and Politician with great passion for freelance writing. I am a Bible believing,holy ghost filled,tongue blasting,heaven bound christian who believes in upholding GOD's ordinances to the last letter.

In addition to this i want to state emphatically that as a no holds barr writer with unbiased mindset towards issues,i do not write based on my personality but based on the reality on ground. I am not a philanderer and i have never cheated on the women i have ever come across but can we please leave doctrinal preference and face the reality on ground.

Many people have one strange nature and that is the act of not reading and assimilating before making responses and this act is not only appalling but also demeaning.

The Bible abhors philandering, GOD forbids adultery but does this change the fact that most men cheat on their wives?does this change the fact that that man you call your fiance or hubby will most likely cheat on you?

You all coming for my head are very unrealistic and infact living in delusion.

Even Pastors cheat on their wives let alone regular men with no affiliation to the gospel work so the question is after all your rantings and so on if your man \cheats on you what is next?

Even Toke makinwa as a relationship expert had her surprise of recent.So please i beg you to take achil pill and take a cold glass of water and read my article again then come back and make comments.

Thanks.

I agree....

teddybear007:



Na u make sense die, cos i wondering why a learned person could think like this in dis 21st century. Indeed some of us needs alot of growing to do. As for d Op, let me reserve my comment cos na dis kind topic they bring out the madness in me. Gracias.

I guess i made the mistake of not tagging my thread (Only for the married or mature minds)

The reason is because teenagers and newbies in love affairs can never comprehend the message in this blunt write up.

ok madam methuselah please answer the following questiions.

1.If your husband cheats on you what will you do? Apparently judging from your post you will divorce him right?

2. Will you date or marry another man? i will assume a yes to this because you cant remain a celibate for life.

3. Is there a guaranty that the next man wont cheat on you? and if he does will you also leave him?

4. After your divorce with say a child or two do you expect a single guy to be all over you when there are delectible never married ladies?

And ofcourse most divorcees expecially the ones with a child or two ends up in an affair with a married man so what does that imply?

I will stop here.

starlingbawa:




I simply can't stop laughing after reading this.... DAMN!!!

My brother i tire.

IQ is not measured by age or academic qualification but by vivid actions of an individual.

One of the tests of a sound mind is to take the opinion of people AS THEIR OPINION without getting angry or overly abusive.

For petes sake i do not expect everyone to agree with my stand-view but if you must counter it please do in an intellectual manner void of vulgarity or abusive words and that's where i have problems with some people.

Imagine the ike guy making reference to MY MUM AS HOPELESS please who does that? I pity the lady that will end up with this type of guy who lacks regard for motherhood and such wil never have any regard for any lady in his life.

Even in the heat of anger i wont dare say such to another howbeit on a matter of intellectual discussion.

I have written to Seun to include a portion of mental evaluation where people will be tested to ascertain their mental state before signing up on nairaland.

Toks2008:


Imagine the ike guy making reference to MY MUM AS HOPELESS please who does that? I pity the lady that will end up with this type of guy who lacks regard for motherhood and such wil never have any regard for any lady in his life.

Even in the heat of anger i wont dare say such to another howbeit on a matter of intellectual discussion.

I have written to Seun to include a portion of mental evaluation where people will be tested to ascertain their mental state before signing up on nairaland.

LOL

So now you claim to respect womanhood/ motherhood? I guess stepping out on the mother of your children is the best way to show her you respect her.

Hopefully the test would filter out clowns like you.

I wonder if Nigeria will be able to stop churning out irresponsible men generation after generation with people like you around.

SouffleX:


LOL

So now you claim to respect womanhood/ motherhood? I guess stepping out on the mother of your children is the best way to show her you respect her.

Hopefully the test would filter out clowns like you.

I wonder if Nigeria will be able to stop churning out irresponsible men generation after generation with people like you around.

Se ogbadun?

Iru awon omo jagbajagba wo ni okun forum yii ti won le jiroro la i si eebu ni inu oro won?

Toks2008:

My brother i tire.
IQ is not measured by age or academic qualification but by vivid actions of an individual.
One of the tests of a sound mind is to take the opinion of people AS THEIR OPINION without getting angry or overly abusive.
For petes sake i do not expect everyone to agree with my stand-view but if you must counter it please do in an intellectual manner void of vulgarity or abusive words and that's where i have problems with some people.
Imagine the ike guy making reference to MY MUM AS HOPELESS please who does that? I pity the lady that will end up with this type of guy who lacks regard for motherhood and such wil never have any regard for any lady in his life.
Even in the heat of anger i wont dare say such to another howbeit on a matter of intellectual discussion.
I have written to Seun to include a portion of mental evaluation where people will be tested to ascertain their mental state before signing up on nairaland.

starlingbawa:

I agree....

Oh darn!!! The man race is losing again...now they are two...SMH

Toks2008:


Se ogbadun?

Iru awon omo jagbajagba wo ni okun forum yii ti won le jiroro la i si eebu ni inu oro won?

If you're going to try to insult me, do it in English.

Ekpa.

itsMrIke:



With this, you have just proven how much of a misogynist you are.

So your sister is in a ridiculous sham of a marriage, and is too weak to leave, so you think other people should do same What a mor0n!!!

I am beginning to think your father was a philandering a-hole while your mum was a hopeless weakling who couldn't do anything about the marriage, hence the stance of you and your sister.

So, yeah, I feel sorry for you

I can't believe i just read the bold part.

What happened to respecting people's opinion and intelligent discussion? must you go this length making derogatory remarks on his parents?

This is strange and i mean real strange...smh

itsMrIke:




Oh darn!!! The man race is losing again...now they are two...SMH

Your 'BEEF' is with him and not me... Direct it elsewhere.

great men &free minds will alway tolerate other peoples' opinions and then choose to agree or not without attacking in any forms
when u cant even tolerate a single opinion like this without a modest and diplomatic-gentleman response then tell d world how you are going to have a successful relationship with anybody(wife,sister etc) when their views is different frm yours.
ona kan o wo oja..
life is flexible..its either u take it or leave it or create one...