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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When your maid becomes the madam. (80234 Views)
My Madam And Me / "Your Husband Has Been Having Sex With Me" - 13-Year-Old Maid Tells Her Madam / Would You Forgive Your Husband Who Got Your Maid Pregnant? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 10:53pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
cococandy: i will not give you another luxury of having me respond to your comment if you dont learn how to articulate your opinion in a non derogatorry manner. I wrote my opinion and if you have a counter opinion please articulate it in an intelligent andd intellectual manner without hyperventilations and vulgarity. We are not in a beer parlor. 45 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by ORALL: 10:55pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Instead of hearing stories that touch,employ a younger maid....I don't want a situation whereby there will be two women pregnant... infant,marry a younger lady,so that should would have time for chores and cooking,that way,there will be no need of hiring a maid...not all these bimbos of our time If you are pained by me comment...go and die!!! 6 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SAMBARRY: 10:57pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Toks2008:see excuses and justification to sleep with housemaid? How low can some men get. Doing house chores turns him on 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Onegai(f): 11:04pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Toks2008: sorry but out of all my siblings, this is the only one I can vouch for. His mentality is so not typical nigerian guy, he can't date or befriend Nigerians (he genuinely tried but kept getting appalled at what he saw in the community). He even thinks I'm too conservative (and this is a guy who was one of the few Christians I respected in this world). He knows cheating happens but he's just ashamed that fellow men keep justifying and expecting women to accept it (he believes strongly in personal responsibility). He would give me constant dating advice but gave up because he wasn't sure why I was either dating jerks or acting so silly guys were taking advantage and walking all over my "submissive" self. Please where are the matured, married men on NL? For goodness' sake start educating the young men because things are just getting worse in our society and we can't keep preaching at women. 27 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:07pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: come to think of it. A maid washes my cloths and that of the baby makes my food runs errands for me Always at my beck and call makes the bed . . . .will it be out of place if i start admiring her? 12 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by cococandy(f): 11:07pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Do you even know the meaning of vulgarity? Because this one doesn't match your opinion, it is vulgar Abi. Were there any cuss word or censored words in that post. This your opinion is like saying there's nothing wrong in slave trading and expect to be lauded for it. I can't sugarcoat how annoying it is so pls forgive the directness. You expect me to tell you "Oga pls ejoor child labor is not good" If you don't see anything wrong in hiring children to work for you--a situation in which they have no choice but to go with whatever you and the seller decide to do with them, there's no gentle way to tell you except bluntly. Child labor is wrong It is wrong It is wrong Wrong wrong wrong. Many people didn't know better and used to do it. Can't blame them. But that time has passed. I'm surprised all the campaign of child's rights organizations all over Nigerian is not affecting that many people. Now anyone who's doing it can't claim ignorant. What will happen before that will change? It's disheartening that you're a young man who should know better. By all means, dislike adult maids if you want but the solution is not using children instead. Prepare your mind to work with your partner and keep your home as you want if you can't hire an adult maid. Toks2008: 34 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:11pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Onegai: I commend him but i can say same for myself and i pride myself as a man of honour and great virtue but nvertheless i still maintain that we never can tell what we are capable of doing or not doing until we are faced woth the situation 13 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:13pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
ORALL:lol. that bitch word though |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by ORALL: 11:19pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Toks2008:Yeah ![]() |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Jahblessme: 11:19pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Same old excuses to keep a woman slaving from dusk to dawn in the bid to keep the hot maid away..I hope the same will be said of me if I fall for the nubile muscular hardworking and handsome houseboy. The maid is in a vulnerable position,she's there as a paid help.probably because she has no other option.Taking advantage of her and abusing your position of trust is absolutely wrong.Theres no excuse. Anyone cleaning and cooking like ayamatanga because she wants to save a supposedly helpless man with roaming chukuchuku from himself dey long tin.You will age faster than him and he will still sleep around.. Can never have high bp or stress myself, lailai.Always endeavour to look good just incase.He chooks ,I chook my own.After that we move front and sin no more.amin 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:22pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
cococandy: now you are communicating without using harsh words like nonsense... Well if employing minors will translate to childs labor then forget getting a maid. This is not about discipline please..men are visual and i dont expect many women to understand this. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SAMBARRY: 11:24pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
![]() I know that you are trying to be funny Quick question is that what makes men's ddheek stand because you see a girl you can send message and cook your food. ? Ok so in an organisation where there are lots of female secretary who runs errands, fixes and brings your meal to the office or another one helps you adjust tie, you will sample all of them? ![]() is that the way your minds are wired? : Toks2008: 2 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Onegai(f): 11:25pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Rather than practise self-control, women should "dress decently" to avoid rape, babies should sew decent looking diapers and wear agbada so men are not tempted, teenagers should lock themselves up because men are not to be tempted, children should continue working long hours and getting underpaid because men cannot be trusted around adult women, in fact to demand that Nigerian men behave decently is a crime otherwise known as "Feminism" I dey hail una o ![]() 45 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by cococandy(f): 11:28pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Toks2008: It is still nonsense. I'm glad you're learning child labor is intolerable. That's my own concern not the other things you're saying. I don't have any response to your men are this men are that generalizations. Some men still don't sleep around. Some have had maids that they didn't sleep with. They don't have two heads. It's funny when you say this you always include yourself among the good virtuous ones. Who are the bad ones? ![]() Anyway that's topic for another day. If you will join the campaign against child labor, and condemn anyone you hear promoting it, me and you no get issue to discuss again. ![]() You can be visual all you want after that. 12 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:29pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Jahblessme: lol well we have madams also sleeping with maids gatemen as well as drivers so its not an endemic situation to guys. the shook i shook part got me wandering because commiting adultery is not the best revenge on a randy hubby |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Jahblessme: 11:41pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Toks2008: When it's a woman you remember to label it 'adultery' abi? Yet oga sleeping with housemaid is trivialised because he cannot help himself. Anyone who employs a child to work as a maid is wicked.No child should ever be in that position.And to now suggest using children as maids instead of a consenting adult just because a man cannot have self control is hideous. For how long will you chase after such a man? Will you also ask your sisters and friends not to visit because d prick can't stay in a place?? Theres money to be made o jare,building a future for my children, not chasing after an irresponsible man. If I were single and my bf makes these sort of excuses,na to dump am sharp sharp.Marry a man of like mind to avoid stories that touch. 30 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Toks2008(m): 11:48pm On Aug 12, 2015 |
Jahblessme: I was told by an elderly woman that women loves lie and deceit and im begining to believe her. 18 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Pidggin(f): 12:28am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Toks2008: Hmmmmm typical of a male living in the comfort of a society that glorifies the male gender. OP imagine it was the other way around, and madam employs a young eloquent driver, who is always there to drive her wherever she wants to go as her husband can't possibly go everywhere with her. Wouldn't he expert her to exercise self-control regardless? Although your post was written with good intentions, the content is filled with excuses for men shortcomings. We have heard your advice, thanks. 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SexyStrawberry(f): 1:05am On Aug 13, 2015 |
OP God bless u, I have seen a deacon in the church who is bleeping his wife's best friend! u can imagine that! So why can't men bleep their house helps if the opportunity sets itself, I must say the ladies out their who thinks their husband wouldn't do such are gullible! Men are moved by what they see, no matter how saintly he is, women are moved by what they hear! Men and women are not the same! unless ur trying to say that ur husband is Jesus Himself! as in no be normal human being. A woman can see and appreciate a good looking man, but that is as far as it gets as long as her hubby is satisfying her all round, unless he is falling short in some ways b4 she will start misbehaving, I am talking about a well mannered woman o, not the loose ones, but for men, no matter how many styles u give him in bed tonight, as long as he is seeing a well shaped Ukwu moving around d house untouched, he would want to have a taste of that one as well! And God punish u that Ukwu is tighter than urs, ur own don finish be that! Men with a very very strict self control are like 1 out of 500. And as for employing house helps, me personally don't think I need them, even if I have a thousand kids, I am not a lazy woman! what can the house help do in my house that I can't do?! huh? 32 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Nobody: 2:48am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Myopic mentality. Tuah! @op, presently I have a full blooded young man working for me as handy man(i don't call him maid,less dignifying) He sags his trouser like his fellow youths, and exudes sexuality 100%. And the bobo sabi do inyanga. Has access to everywhere in my house. So I should rape or sleep with him? Ndi ara. Mcheew! 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by DrGroove(f): 3:57am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Toks2008:In present day Nigeria,men sleep with children as little as 3months..13-15 year old are fully matured sexual partners(afterall olden days,dem don marry) so I don't know what u are trying to point out 9 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Onegai(f): 4:03am On Aug 13, 2015 |
moca: Why have you been dulling yourself like this, heh? "How Moca Got Her Groove Back" can happen o! I have a boss, he's attractive and well-spoken and dresses nice. He signs my cheques and he's rich. He compliments me for a job well-done. We laugh together. Thanks to the OP, I finally have a excuse to cheat on my hubby since there's a man doing everything I want to be done to me, outside. Alright!! ![]() ![]() 20 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by DrGroove(f): 4:04am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Toks2008:Killing a randy husband is the best revenge! Why should I degrade myself to open legs around when I can easily send the hediot 6Feet under and people wil pity me as a widow 17 Likes |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by DrGroove(f): 4:11am On Aug 13, 2015 |
ALL men sleep with maids...Once there is a female who is not related to the man by BLOOD living under his roof,he MUST sleep with her.until he does that,he cannot be a happy man! the younger she is,the more aroused he will be.Men don't need to see fully matured breasts and buttocks to be sexually attracted,anything female @ any stage of development is attractive enough(no be hole dem wan chook?).Those advocating for kids as maids,May God forgive you people..As if men are not happily bleeping kids in Nigeria today. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Nobody: 5:04am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Onegai: ![]() |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by flyca: 5:57am On Aug 13, 2015 |
OP, stop misquoting the bible. Maids in the context of that verse does not mean - housegirl. The old testament uses the word "maid" to refer to a young girl that is unmarried, usually a virgin. The plural form of it being "maidens" not "maids". 23 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Nobody: 6:52am On Aug 13, 2015 |
What we should be encouraging is partners doing things together, so there wont be any need for maid in the first instance. it kills 2 birds with one stone. If oga rolls up his sleeves and pulls his weight in the home, There will be no need for maid and it bonds the couple together . . infact 3 birds because it means that one party is not fagged out, stressed and too tired and looking older than her years. If you clean up after yourself and are considerate about your partner, there is really no need for a maid. I know that I will be told that in Nigeria maids are required, but there are some homes, where with good planning and all hands on deck, there is no need for a maid. The only thing I agree with in the posters write up assuming we are saying the same thing, is that people should not give opportunity for temptation where possible. . . . Years ago I had a debate on this section, where I was saying that people should be able to fight all forms of temptation and win. ..I am older and wiser now. Id rather not even put temptation on the plate if avoidable. Ive seem too many people fall to all sorts of temptation. . . Even men of God have been known to fall. Even to follow a diet, I know how much we struggle when we are tempted with sweet smelling and nice looking food. In short dont even give that oppourtunity if it can be avoided. Pls no one should misunderstand me o! ![]() Same thing with a husband with erectile dysfunton goes and employs a Van Vicker lookalike as his wifes driver & then travels to kotangora for 8 months. ![]() ![]() And NO NO NO to child labour. . . .Biko. It is very wicked. Apart from it being against the law, Morally it is so wrong on so many levels. I always ask the question, would you pray that your own kid is treated like that? 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SAMBARRY: 7:17am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Gbam.good someone is seeing what I'm seeing Pidggin: 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SAMBARRY: 7:25am On Aug 13, 2015 |
And you're talking as if you are not a Nigerian living in Nigeria 1.how many husbands will WILLINGLY join their wives in doing the house chotrs without the I'm the head of the home How dare you 2.coming back from work and having to deal with traffic and other hassles before you get home nko? At least the house maid will have prepared something for you to eat a bi will you start microwaving food you kept in the freezer I'm not against house helps . It's not wrong as long as you pay them and treat them with dignity. They are also employed workers. It's child labour when you use them, don't pay for their services, abuse them and throw them out when they start developing hips etc however they're necessary evils. You can't do without them in our own peculiar society tearoses: 1 Like |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by SAMBARRY: 7:34am On Aug 13, 2015 |
Child labour is when you slave under aged children and abuse them. Some mothers are aware that their teenage sons are raping the house Maids and will turn a blind eye to it but the moment she gets pregnant they evict her without giving her 5naira or care about her welfare. That one is child abuse but in a situation where you have an agreement between the parents of the child that I want your daughter to work for me from age 11-17.ill send the monthly salary to the parents and the parents help the child to save money for school fees and other things she will need in school. So as soon as she turns 18 she can leave your house and go to school. That is a form of employment not labour and you treat her like a worker including feeding her. However you know nigerians like abusing things a lot. It was nigerian mothers that basterdized this house help thing that now made it look like child labour especially those who press hot iron on the back of children or pour pepper in their vaginas cococandy: 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When your maid becomes the madam. by Nobody: 7:53am On Aug 13, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: My dear, thats why I said we need to encourage a totally different approach These same men in Nigeria, suddenly develop pecs when they travel out and you see them pushing buggy and shopping for chicken and bokoto at the market. How many of us here have housemaids? At most people have cleaners who come once a week for a few hours . . and thats even a luxury. How do we survive here? We survive because all hands are on deck yesterday during my evening walk, a man drove past us. A few metres up the road, he was getting his baby out of the car and carrying baby in car seat and balancing babys bag. Maybe his wife is at work. Baby needs to be picked up, so who else to do it but him? Its the mentality that needs to change. Train the boys to be useful and house trained. If they have been trained well from the onset, then they wont have a problem rolling their sleeves up and starting dinner if their wives are stuck in traffic. its a vicsious circle and we need to stop it. Charity begins at home and a boy brought up to be tidy, can cook and be houseproud, will not put his feet up on the table while his wife is sweeping unfer his feet. 14 Likes 1 Share |
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