The end is near for me as a bachelor cuz I caught a big one this time and all odds are falling sideways which is normal. Am not having any issues but for my jealous mom who thinks 'this girl' is coming to take his son (mothers and their first son, no girl is good enough ) and the usual you'll not marry from that state o.

To my soon to be bride, she's beautiful, caring, sexy and loving plus she's an INTROVERT. Can remain indoors for the duration of her visit locked in my room and only step out to do chores or outing with me. Naturally, I am a centre piece at home, friends and family look up to me to always be this binding force. Invariably, my fiancee thinks it's just the two of us in this world but am letting her know in Africa, family is strengthened by sharing and communicating with one another. It's been difficult for her, my own immediate family is seeing her as a potential home and peace breaker but am saying otherwise that it's just her nature.

So INTROVERTS in the house how do you relate with your extended family? To those who ended up with one how have you been coping cuz though I love, I think rationally and I find her guilty as if she just wants only me and no other person.

Like I said she's this loving person to the few she has been able to overcome her nature towards. The rest na 'Hi' and she steps back in watching Telemundo

Why not just marry our very own INTROVERT on nairaland?
The way she makes FTC so quick im sure she'll be making you breakfast at 2am

Is she a N/lander?

Op. Let her b biko. U r an extrovert, she is an introvert, u two can compliment each other in various ways.

Immanueladebol:
Is she a N/lander?

Not at all, funny I tried advising she visits the forum and get to learn a few social tricks.

trapQ:
Why not just marry our very own INTROVERT on nairaland?
The way she makes FTC so quick im sure she'll be making you breakfast at 2am

That would be? Told you am having......with there you're recommending the queen bee.

Immanueladebol:
Is she a N/lander?

Not at all, funny I tried advising she visits the forum and get to learn a few social tricks.

trapQ:
Why not just marry our very own INTROVERT on nairaland?
The way she makes FTC so quick im sure she'll be making you breakfast at 2am

That would be? Told you am having......with one and there you're recommending the queen bee.

did i get engaged without knowing? OP u just described me.. Lol
plz dear just understand her & allow her be herself...she can only be at her best, when shez bn herself...with time, she will warm up to those ur family members/friends she wil warm up....don't "push" her, otherwise things will b messed up...
in fact , i remember then in my undergraduate days, i had this friend that was always d life of a party, i admired her a lot & wished to b like her...then, i TRIED to b like her...& bro...it wasn't funny, i soon realised that therez only one role i can play best & datz playing ME....& so i stopped TRYING to be someone other than MYSELF...plz whatever gives her peace, ok?...All the best to u two.

1dafullymade:
did i get engaged without knowing? OP u just described me.. Lol
plz dear just understand her & allow her be herself...she can only be at her best, when shez bn herself...with time, she will warm up to those ur family members/friends she wil warm up....don't "push" her, otherwise things will b messed up...
in fact , i remember then in my undergraduate days, i had this friend that was always d life of a party, i admired her a lot & wished to b like her...then, i TRIED to b like her...& bro...it wasn't funny, i soon realised that therez only one role i can play best & datz playing ME....& so i stopped TRYING to be someone other than MYSELF...plz whatever gives her peace, ok?...All the best to u two.

My dear, e fit be you o. She can't keep being herself, for how long? There are things that can be tolerated in courtship and not marriage. Hmmm, is been a hard one on me I just want to know how these guys cope with your kind. It can't be all bout 'me, me and me'

pacino26:


My dear, e fit be you o. She can't keep being herself, for how long? There are things that can be tolerated in courtship and not marriage. Hmmm, is been a hard one on me I just want to know how these guys cope with your kind. It can't be all bout 'me, me and me'

patience n gentlle persistence... That's all U need, recognize that she is nt. Selfish she wat u two to build urr home first n with time things will just fall in place... Two must agree to work...

This Op is troublesome sha. Is your topic Marrying An Introvert or Marrying INTROVERT?

blacq2009:
This Op is troublesome sha. Is your topic Marrying An Introvert or Marrying INTROVERT?

Chineke now I know why one poster asked if she's a NLer. Bro it's not her abeg. Lol, where's she by the way

why do they see her as a potential home and peace breaker?

pacino26:
The end is near for me as a bachelor cuz I caught a big one this time and all odds are falling sideways which is normal. Am not having any issues but for my jealous mom who thinks 'this girl' is coming to take his son (mothers and their first son, no girl is good enough ) and the usual you'll not marry from that state o.

To my soon to be bride, she's beautiful, caring, sexy and loving plus she's an INTROVERT. Can remain indoors for the duration of her visit locked in my room and only step out to do chores or outing with me. Naturally, I am a centre piece at home, friends and family look up to me to always be this binding force. Invariably, my fiancee thinks it's just the two of us in this world but am letting her know in Africa, family is strengthened by sharing and communicating with one another. It's been difficult for her, my own immediate family is seeing her as a potential home and peace breaker but am saying otherwise that it's just her nature.

So INTROVERTS in the house how do you relate with your extended family? To those who ended up with one how have you been coping cuz though I love, I think rationally and I find her guilty as if she just wants only me and no other person.

Like I said she's this loving person to the few she has been able to overcome her nature towards. The rest na 'Hi' and she steps back in watching Telemundo

To be with an introvert, is to live your life for them, else she sways away and things might get bad. You must be ready to defend and give her a soft landing @ all times, especially to family and friends who might take her introvertedness as being proud or a snub.

Get this straight, this is Africa! a married introvert will surely have problems relating with the extended family; cos with the way they operate, they operate expecting people to warm up to them first, other than the other way around. They usually take their time in decision making (which also includes, making friends). This is to avoid getting hurt by those who don't understand them enough. They are verrry emotional.

Patience is key here, as she's likely to rely on you for most things, including her thought-process.

Femsyn:
To be with an introvert, is to live your life for them. They are verrry emotional.

Patience is key here and she's likely to rely on you for most things, including her thought-process.

Right on point!!! Very emotional,am fortunate ages not the bitter type problem for dey.

aflyingbird:
why do they see her as a potential home and peace breaker?

Have you tried to be in the middle of two people you love dearly who seem to want you whole individually? See my dear, if you're married to only ur man, what happens the day all your love and cares over him fails? By now you must have captured the msg.

pacino26:


My dear, e fit be you o. She can't keep being herself, for how long? There are things that can be tolerated in courtship and not marriage. Hmmm, is been a hard one on me I just want to know how these guys cope with your kind. It can't be all bout 'me, me and me'

oh dear, my guys coped just fine, as a matter of fact, i don't involve myself wt guys who don't understand/respect/accept my personality, neither do i get involved wt guys who are loud & all over d place(not introverts exactly)Nay! Not one! Dear, if u ar choked, if u can't handle it, plz let her go cus she deserves some dat will let her b herself & u on d other hand dearie, deserv dat outspoken/outgoing kinda girl dat u so desire..plz don't wait until itz too late, for d fact dat u complain about it shows it bothers u & just as she is finding it difficult "changing" into dat person u want, u wil also hv difficulty accepting completly d person she is...i hv bn there! Once again, all d best to u two!

Wonderfully made has told u all u need to know, my hubby na lik dat too, and to b candid wt u, she frustrates me atimes o,u know bin a MIL guy, na on d run we always dey, no go slow, bt hubby na mrs go slow,.. But bin on th rekigious side has helped me to be tolerant.i wnt b able to type much here, since most persons here mit nt b married.if u need serious advice n info, pls contact me sir,gd morning

It will be difficult for her to socilaise oh. I know what I battle with whenever my husbands people are with us and the worse part is my husband complains a lot. My dear if she doesn't grow to socialise, hope u will still continue to love her.

This is not an introvert but a woman who wants you for herself. She does not see a family as being more than man - wife and child.
Your parents recognise that and have rightly labelled her as what she is. This lady will bring a strain into your home and affect your relationship.
Please stop labelling her an introvert that is not what she is. AN introverted or shy woman will still reach out to your family and spend time with them and do things with them. She just wouldn't talk much but that would not disturb anyone.
This kind of woman will kick against you spending time with your family or having them over to visit. You better heed your parents and resolve this issue clearly.

Pacino26,

whatever other people say, family or not, at the end of the day you have to make the decision. You have to marry her and you have to live with her.
I see nothing wrong with her behavior since some people are just the way they are and that is ok. She is not hurting anyone. The question is if her behavior is acceptable TO YOU or whether it bothers / annoys you too much? And then the next question is whether SHE can handle you and the way you are and deal with people.

If you can tolerate your differences without too many severe frictions then go ahead and marry. I hope you also have similarities and common interests. There needs to be a balance in everything.

1dafullymade:
oh dear, my guys coped just fine, as a matter of fact, i don't involve myself wt guys who don't understand/respect/accept my personality!

Let me take it as one of sarcasm in NL. You had many GUYS? I've heard.

mutter:
.

Possible scenario but I strongly doubt.

gidjah:
Wonderfully made has told u all u need to know, my hubby na lik dat too, and to b candid wt u, she frustrates me atimes o,u know bin a MIL guy, na on d run we always dey, no go slow, bt hubby na mrs go slow,.. But bin on th rekigious side has helped me to be tolerant.i wnt b able to type much here, since most persons here mit nt b married.if u need serious advice n info, pls contact me sir,gd morning

Exactly what has been helping here too. I'll sure reach out bro.

Mindfulness,
Your words surpass your moniker.

In all I believe it will be well. For those who think creating some topics means been loud mouthed ( 1dafullymade comes to mind ) I've been opportuned to learn a lot reading and contributing to various threads and had some serious positive advice from people here. One thing I've learnt not to do in life is assume or place a person in a certain class without a full understanding of who, what and where the person is coming from. Am in the family section and my question remains to the people who've had this experience and dealt with it one way or the other.

Thanks all, as I look forward to learning a lot to cope.