Judith1000:
My boyfriend is just too fat and it is so embarrassing. He just came back from the US for his masters and he looks as fat as ever. Before I use to pose to my friends that I have a BF in the US who use to send me money because he always sent good amount of money to me. I was ready to even marry him if he proposes. But now, shame dey catch me. He’s always been chubby but while in the US I realized he’s
got really fat. He is so fat that people stare at him and start laughing and passing comments. Sometimes I have to pretend we are not together. I felt so embarrassed to be with him and wished he didn’t look so bad. It’s a turn off for me to see him naked. Even in clothes it’s not attractive. I have spoken to him many times about his size, healthy eating and exercise. I tried to get him to join a gym with me. He laughs it off and says he is fine. The guys has been nice to me and even promised to buy me a car. Do I just get the car and leave? What do I do?

Expert advice from Petra;
Dear friend,


I don’t think you can ‘make’ him change.
Giving you instructions on how to force him to diet or exercise doesn’t help him, or you, look at any underlying reasons (assuming they exist) around overeating, or his feelings about food, exercise or his body.
I have no context about his lifestyle, your income, what your food budget is, how food and exercise fit with his work patterns, or if alcohol plays a role.
I don’t know if his weight is affected by disability, pre-existing physical or mental health conditions, or the side-effects of medication.
You may get further by thinking about these factors yourself, or talking to him about those, rather than your previous instructions about his diet and fitness (more on this shortly).
None of that will help you, though. And there isn’t any point in having advice columns if people don’t feel free to confide about how they truly feel - and know that someone isn’t going to shut you down for saying things your friends or family members might frown on.
You are entitled to feel upset about this.
But if we go back and look at how you have described him, there is no getting away from the words you’ve used. These include ‘chubby’, ‘really fat’, ‘embarrassed to be with him’, ‘wished he didn’t look so bad’.
You say ‘It’s a turn off…to see him naked’ and ‘not attractive’.
As you read these statements, can you identify if this is you feeling worried about him, frustrated over how he is acting, or a sign you simply don’t fancy him anymore? Continue at http://judithfrank..com/2015/08/advice-my-boyfriend-is-too-fat-it.html

emmyrichie:
Sell him

Arisha:


Wow. What a trash gold digger .spits

popweezy:
PRETENDER

Judith1000:
The guys has been nice to me and even promised to buy me a car. Do I just get the car and leave? What do I do?

Arisha:

Um excuze me? Maay i heylpp you !?

Arisha:

Um excuze me? Maay i heylpp you !?

popweezy :
Sure definitely

Arisha:


First tell me Why would u call me pretender !

tell me! do u know me? do i know you?

popweezy:
obviously,from your post, I know you are a pretender and to ur other questions,you dont know me but Yea, I Know you...very
well

Bishop4bella:
Let's see his photo before he travelled and after he came back to know if he's really fat.

Judith1000:
My boyfriend is just too fat and it is so embarrassing. He just came back from the US for his masters and he looks as fat as ever. Before I use to pose to my friends that I have a BF in the US who use to send me money because he always sent good amount of money to me. I was ready to even marry him if he proposes. But now, shame dey catch me. He’s always been chubby but while in the US I realized he’s
got really fat. He is so fat that people stare at him and start laughing and passing comments. Sometimes I have to pretend we are not together. I felt so embarrassed to be with him and wished he didn’t look so bad. It’s a turn off for me to see him naked. Even in clothes it’s not attractive. I have spoken to him many times about his size, healthy eating and exercise. I tried to get him to join a gym with me. He laughs it off and says he is fine. The guys has been nice to me and even promised to buy me a car. Do I just get the car and leave? What do I do?

Expert advice from Petra;
Dear friend,


I don’t think you can ‘make’ him change.
Giving you instructions on how to force him to diet or exercise doesn’t help him, or you, look at any underlying reasons (assuming they exist) around overeating, or his feelings about food, exercise or his body.
I have no context about his lifestyle, your income, what your food budget is, how food and exercise fit with his work patterns, or if alcohol plays a role.
I don’t know if his weight is affected by disability, pre-existing physical or mental health conditions, or the side-effects of medication.
You may get further by thinking about these factors yourself, or talking to him about those, rather than your previous instructions about his diet and fitness (more on this shortly).
None of that will help you, though. And there isn’t any point in having advice columns if people don’t feel free to confide about how they truly feel - and know that someone isn’t going to shut you down for saying things your friends or family members might frown on.
You are entitled to feel upset about this.
But if we go back and look at how you have described him, there is no getting away from the words you’ve used. These include ‘chubby’, ‘really fat’, ‘embarrassed to be with him’, ‘wished he didn’t look so bad’.
You say ‘It’s a turn off…to see him naked’ and ‘not attractive’.
As you read these statements, can you identify if this is you feeling worried about him, frustrated over how he is acting, or a sign you simply don’t fancy him anymore? Continue at http://judithfrank..com/2015/08/advice-my-boyfriend-is-too-fat-it.html

Arisha:



Wow. What a trash gold digger .spits